Posts Tagged ‘mess’
May 8, 2015
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: Humor in Uniform – BATTLE HONOURS – WAR OF THE MESSES.
Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal:
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…
HUMOR IN UNIFORM
Last week I met an Army Officer currently posted to New Delhi.
He said that he lived in Battle Honours Mess.
“Oh – the one on SP Marg?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“I have lived there almost 35 years ago, in 1981-1982,” I said.
“How is that possible? The Army Battle Honours Mess is for Army Officers only,” he said.
“Those days it was a combined inter-service officers mess,” I told him.
Then – I told him the story of the “War of the Messes” where “Battle Honours” were won.
So – Dear Reader – let me delve into my “Humor in Uniform” archives and tell you the story of the “War of the Messes”…
THE WAR OF THE MESSES
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Various Wars have been documented, studied, discussed and analyzed – and relevant literature is readily available online and offline for all those interested in the subject.
But have you heard of the “War of the Messes”?
Do you know that this “War of the Messes” took place in 1982 on the “battlefield” of New Delhi?
This was a unique “war”.
In conventional wars – junior officers and men do the fighting – while Generals and Admirals watch on.
The “War of the Messes” was “fought” by Generals and Admirals – while junior officers watched on.
This is what happened.
Till 1981, Army and Navy had two common Officers’ Messes in New Delhi – a brand new mess at SP Marg and a rather antediluvian mess at Kota House.
Young Army and Navy Bachelor Officers lived together in these Officers’ Messes in great harmony with a spirit of camaraderie.
Of course, the Air Force, which always believes in keeping a safe distance from the “pongos” and the “sea dogs”, had its iconic Central Vista (CV) Air Force Officers’ Mess on Janpath.
If you were a young bachelor – you could choose your mess.
The ageing Kota House Mess was conveniently located in the heart of New Delhi and was preferred by the slightly “elder” bachelors.
The younger officers preferred the modern SP Marg Mess located at faraway Dhaula Kuan.
(35 years ago Dhaula Kuan was considered a “distant” place on the “outskirts” of New Delhi).
SP Marg Officers’ Mess was a lively place with a laissez faire atmosphere.
I spent some of the best days of my life in SP Marg Officers’ Mess – and even today – as I hark back to my Navy Days – I fondly cherish my glorious days at SP Marg Officers’ Mess.
Relations between us Naval Officers and our Army Messmates were excellent.
We made a lot of Army friends.
In fact, it was at SP Marg Officers Mess that I first made close friendships with fellow Army Officers – lasting friendships which endure even till today.
We young bachelor officers lived happily together in SP Marg Officers Mess and there was an atmosphere of bonhomie in the evenings when we all sat together on the lawns or in the bar enjoying our drinks.
If you wanted to see an example of authentic “jointmanship” and genuine “inter-service camaraderie” – SP Marg Officers” Mess was a shining example.
I am sure it was the same happy spirit at Kota House too.
Everyone was living happily – but, sadly, it was not going to be a case of “happily ever after” – because suddenly the “War of the Messes” erupted.
Most of us junior officers did not even know that a “war” had broken out.
As I said earlier – this was a unique “war”.
This “war of the messes” was not fought on the “battlefield” of SP Marg and Kota House Messes.
Conventional military tactics and weapons were not used in this “war”.
This “war” was “fought” in air-conditioned offices by Generals and Admirals using the far more potent bureaucratic weapon – paper.
The “war of the messes” was not a physical war – it was a “paper war”.
By the time “cease fire” was declared, the Generals seemed to be on the brink of victory – and the Admirals appeared to be on the verge of defeat.
The “spoils of war” were divided.
The “victorious” Army won the coveted modern SP Marg Officers’ Mess.
The “vanquished” Navy was banished to the ancient decrepit Kota House Officers’ Mess.
To commemorate their “victory” over the Admirals in the “war of the messes” – the Generals renamed the SP Marg Officers Mess as the Army “Battle Honours” Mess.
It was a well-deserved coveted “Battle Honour” won exclusively by the Generals (without the help of their “Troops”).
In order to further “celebrate” their “victory” in the “war of the messes” – and in the true spirit of “jointmanship” – the Generals evicted all Naval Officers from the SP Marg Officers’ Mess.
In a retaliatory gesture of “jointmanship” – the Admirals evicted Army Officers from the Kota House Officers’ Mess.
It was quite sad to see friendly messmates who were living together as buddies being wrenched apart and separated as per the colour of their uniform just to suit the whims and fancies of a few Generals and Admirals.
The scene was reminiscent of partition days – when friends who were living amicably together had to leave their homes and go to another land just because of the decisions of a few politicians.
Metaphorically, junior officers were like happy children who had to separate due to the “divorce” of their parents – one parent getting “custody” of one child, and the other parent of the other child.
While the senior officers fought the “war of the messes” with each other – it was the junior officers who suffered as a result of these internecine turf wars, ego battles and personality clashes.
The biggest irony was that none of the Generals or Admirals actually lived in these two Officers’ Messes which were primarily a home for young bachelor officers.
Another amusing paradox was that many of the officers involved in “fighting” this “war of the messes” with each other were products of the famous “joint training institution” – the National Defence Academy (NDA).
Of course, now – each service has its own separate Officers’ Mess in New Delhi – so that the Generals, Admirals and Air Marshals can have their own separate fiefdoms.
On many occasions, I have heard Senior Officers lecturing and pontificating about the need for “jointmanship” in the Indian Armed Forces.
But tell me one thing.
What so-called “jointmanship” are you talking about when you can’t even have a “Joint Officers’ Mess” where Officers of the Army, Navy and Air Force can live together, drink together and eat together with camaraderie and build lifelong friendships?
I think the first step towards achieving genuine jointmanship is to convert all Officers’ Messes in New Delhi into tri-service combined officers’ messes for officers of all three services.
Then, this “tri-service officers’ mess” concept can be implemented in other stations where the services co-exist.
On the one hand – we talk of “integrating” our three defence services.
On the other hand – each service wants to build its own separate “empire”.
I feel that the first step in “fighting together” is learning to “live together”.
And only after the 3 Services have learnt to “live together” in a combined mess, should they talk of grandiose highfalutin concepts like having a combined Chief of Defence Staff (CDS).
Do you agree?
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
1. This story is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
This story written by me in the year 2014 and posted online by me Vikram Karve earlier in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve Blog on 23 Jan 2015 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…
Now Re-Posted by Vikram Karve at
5/08/2015 10:27:00 PM
Posted in blog, blogger, blogging, creative, education, india, indian, management, pune, stories, story, writer, writing | Tags: ABHM, air force, armed forces, army, Army Battle Honours Mess, battle, battle honour, cadet, camaraderie, club, defence, delhi, ego, history, honor, humor, humour, IDF, india, indian, institute, Integrated Defence Forces, interservice, jointmanship, kota house, memoir, mess, military, naval, navy, new delhi, officer, officer like qualities, officers, olq, rank, RHIP, services, spoof, stories, story, triservice, turf, war, wardroom, writing |
April 26, 2015
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: LEISURE MANAGEMENT NAVY STYLE – “SUNDAY ROUTINE” – A “Memoir”.
Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal:
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…
Unforgettable Memories of My Wonderful Life in the Navy
LEISURE MANAGEMENT NAVY STYLE
“SUNDAY ROUTINE”
A Memoir
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Today is Sunday.
Out here – in Pune – it is a bright Sunday Morning – and it is already getting hot – since we are in the midst of a blistering summer.
Sitting indoors on this sweltering hot Sunday Morning makes me hark back to my halcyon Navy Days – and remember my “Sunday Routines” in the Navy.
Once you retire – every day is a “Sunday Routine”.
But when we were in the Navy – and our ship was tied alongside in harbour – we looked forward to our Sundays – to enjoy what the Navy calls “Sunday Routine” – our well deserved leisure time.
Let me tell you about a few of my typical “Sunday Routines”.
In the Navy – when you are at sea – you are on duty round-the-clock 24/7 – and there is no “holiday” – so there is no “Sunday Routine” in the true sense.
But when your ship is in harbour – you have “make-and-mend” (half day) on Wednesdays and Saturdays – and a “Sunday Routine” on Sundays and Holidays.
Unlike the corporate sector and government civilian babus – an operational organisation like the navy does not have the luxury of a “5 Day Week” – so we worked 6 days a week – and a weekly “off” only on Sundays – unless you were the “Officer of the Day” (OOD) – or you were put on some other “bum job” duty.
So – we eagerly waited for Sunday – and coveted our “Sunday Routine”.
“Sunday Routine” was our own personal time which we could spend as we liked – and we could do as we pleased.
Aristotle has wisely said: “The end of labour is to gain leisure”
We laboured the whole week to gain our “Sunday Routine” – and we were determined to enjoy our well earned leisure to the fullest.
Different individuals spend their leisure in different ways.
How you spend your leisure defines your persona.
There is a saying that if you want to find out the true character of a man – find out how he spends his leisure.
In the defence services – especially in the navy – how you spend your leisure mainly depends on where you are posted.
If you are lucky to be posted in a “maximum city” like Mumbai – there is a plethora of opportunities for enjoying your leisure.
On the other hand – if you are posted to a back-of-beyond remote desolate cantonment – your choices for spending your leisure are limited.
Let me describe to you – to compare and contrast – two typical Navy Style “Sunday Routines” – one in Mumbai – and one in Vizag – almost 10 years apart – both when I was posted on frontline warships – the first in the latter half of the 1970’s – and the second in the latter half of the 1980’s.
INS “XXX” (Harbour Sunday Routine – as an “in-living” officer)
[At Mumbai (then called Bombay) – end 1970’s]
This was the happiest time of my life.
It is great to be on a happy ship.
Ours was a frontline warship – the ship was new – the crew was good – we had a delightful wardroom with friendly officers – and the general atmosphere on the ship was harmonious.
The main reason for the ship being a “Happy Ship” was our Captain – who was a great guy.
His credo was simple – all he demanded is that we do our jobs properly – and once we did that – we were free to do whatever we pleased.
(I have observed during my long service in the Navy – and in inter-service establishments – that – particularly in the defence services – much depends on the Commanding Officer (CO) – for creating a harmonious the atmosphere in a ship/unit – and a painful “killjoy” CO can make life miserable for all – like we saw on some other ships)
On a Sunday we woke up early.
(If you remember – I told you in an earlier article that I never had late nights on Saturdays – and I preferred to have my hangovers on working days).
Early in the morning – we crossed the gangway and went ashore.
Then we embarked on a long Sunday morning walk cum jog – walking out of Lion Gate, past Kalaghoda, crossing the Oval, past CCI, then onto Marine Drive to jog to Chowpatty – and back to Churchgate – where we picked up a copy of the Cole (for the day’s races) – followed by “chota hazri” at Stadium Restaurant.
Later – in the wardroom – we had a leisurely Sunday breakfast on board ship – of dosas and coffee – while “studying” the Cole – and the racing columns in the newspapers.
Ours was a wardroom of “punters”.
At around 10 or 10:30 we were off again – walking down to our favourite Stadium Restaurant Churchgate – for a brunch of sumptuous “Kheema Pav” followed by a cup of invigorating Irani Chai – while discussing our “forecasts” and “predictions” for the day’s races.
Then we caught a western railway local train to Mahalaxmi racecourse – so that we were well in time for the first race of the day – which began at noon – or sometimes a bit later at 12:30 or 1 o’clock in the afternoon.
(We took the precaution of buying a “return ticket” – for obvious reasons)
I loved going to the races.
The atmosphere was electric – the bookie ring – the tote – the stands – the racecourse – the crowds – the excitement – the thrill – the horses – and – not to forget – the beautiful lady punters in their Sunday best – it was a thoroughly enjoyable Sunday afternoon.
In the evening – after a refreshing shower – and fortified with a generous quantity of Scotch and Soda – our hip flasks topped-up – we headed out again – for dinner and a late night movie – followed by midnight ice creams or milkshakes.
The restaurant where we went for dinner depended on our luck at the races – either Olympia or Bade Miyan (on a luckless day) – or Gaylord or Kamling (on a lucky day).
Even during the off-season – when there were no races – there was so much to do on a Sunday in a “maximum city” like Mumbai.
Like I said – those were the happiest days of my life – and my most enjoyable “Sunday Routines” too.
I thought these happy days would never end – but two years later – I was yanked off the ship, and posted to Jamnagar (as an instructor) – and it was still a big culture shock for me after my wonderful days in Mumbai.
I was familiar with the dreary place as a “student officer” – but it was a big disappointment – especially after my glorious days in Mumbai.
I suffered and endured almost one year in that horrible desolate place – almost becoming alcohol dependent – since the main leisure activity there was drinking Rum (while listening to old Hindi Songs on Urdu Service).
I escaped becoming an woebegone alcoholic by getting “selected” for the “prestigious” M. Tech. Course at IIT Delhi.
After two years of “paid holiday” – followed by two years in R&D – and then two more years on instructional duties at IAT Pune – and I was back on a frontline warship in Mumbai.
“Bombay days were back again”
(Yes – Mumbai was still called Bombay in the late 1980s).
It was back to halcyon “Sunday Routine” days – I lived at Vasant Sagar in Churchgate – and for the first few months we had a great life.
As I was living it up – chanting “Happy Days are here again” – our luck ran out – and the base port of our ship was changed from Mumbai to Vizag (Visakhapatnam) – and we were off to the Eastern Seaboard.
I had been to Vizag only once on my earlier ship – but I did not see much of the Naval Base – since our ship was berthed on the iron ore jetty in the port trust – and we were in Vizag just for a day or so – and we spent our liberty hours ashore in the town.
But it seemed that – as far as Vizag town was concerned – nothing much had changed in the last 10 years.
As compared to Mumbai – Navy life Vizag was a big comedown – as you will realize – when you see how I spent my “Sunday Routine” at Vizag (Visakhapatnam)
INS “YYY” (Harbour Sunday Routine – as an “MLR” officer)
[Vizag (Visakhapatnam) – end 1980’s]
I was now married (MLR or “Money in Lieu of Ration” in Naval Jargon) – and I was living with my family in Naval Park Vizag.
Sunrise is early on the eastern seaboard – so I would get up at 5:30 on Sunday morning – and I would head for my Sunday morning super-long walk – up Dolphin’s Nose – down to Continental Beach – and then head back straight to the “Sunday Market” in the HSL complex near Scindia – and reach there by 7 – just as the market (haat) was opening up.
The entire naval community would be there at the “Sunday Market” – mostly ladies whose husbands are sleeping off their hangover – and some early riser husbands like me.
In Vizag – this Sunday Morning Market was a “must visit” since you lived far away from town in Naval Park – to pick up your weekly stock of vegetables, fruit and fish.
At around 8 – I returned home – I had a bath – we breakfasted on the idlis I had brought from the Sunday market – and at 9 o’clock – we all settled down before the TV set to watch the epic serial Ramayan.
(Later – when Ramayan was over – we would watch Mahabharat from 9 to 10 every Sunday morning).
Then we (self, wife and son) headed to the swimming pool – and spent an hour swimming and cooling off – and chitchatting with friends.
At 12 noon we were sitting in the makeshift club located in the parking lot of the officers’ mess for the Sunday afternoon Beer Biryani Tombola.
(Yes – in Vizag it was the rather prosaic and boring Tombola at the Navy Club – in lieu of thrilling and exciting Horse Racing at the Mahalaxmi Race Course which we enjoyed in Mumbai)
Then – I headed back home for a “beer and biryani induced siesta” – which made me feel groggy.
In the evening – maybe we headed for town – full family of 3 on my Bajaj scooter – mostly accompanied by friends – and walked around Ramakrishna Beach – or maybe saw a movie at Jagdamba – followed by dinner at Daspalla.
Then we headed back home – and hit the sack.
Vizag was a big comedown from the glorious “Sunday Routines” of Mumbai.
One thing good in the Navy is that nothing is permanent.
So – 10 years later – in the year 2000 – I was back in Mumbai – and I enjoyed my “Sunday Routines” even better than before – since the Navy gave me a lovely house in Empress Court, opposite the Oval, in Churchgate.
What better location can you ask for in Mumbai – especially to enjoy your leisure?
EPILOGUE
My best and most enjoyable “Sunday Routines” were in Mumbai (Bombay) and Delhi.
And the most lackluster and dreary Sunday Routines were in Jamnagar – arguably the worst place to be posted to – during my younger days in the Navy.
The Sunday Routines in places like Vizag, Kochi (Cochin) and Pune were somewhere middle-of-the-road – as I have described above.
In IAT Pune – on Sundays – we could go trekking up to Sinhagad or in the hills of Girinagar – or we would head for Pune City – to spend the day with our parents/relatives (Pune is my hometown).
How about you?
How do you like to enjoy your Sundays?
And especially if you are a “fauji” – do tell us how you enjoyed your “Sunday Routines” in the “fauj” – in the army, the navy or the air force.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Disclaimer:
All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)
This is a revised version of my article earlier posted online by me Vikram Karvein my academic and creative writing journal blog at 7/08/2014 11:30:00 PMat url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…
Now Re-Posted by Vikram Karve at 4/26/2015 10:06:00 AM
Posted in writing | Tags: air force, armed forces, army, club, defence, fun, insititute, leisure, life, management, memoir, mess, military, mumbai, navy, officer, officer like qualities, olq, services, ship, stories, story, time, visakhapatnam |
December 18, 2012
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: A NAVY SUPERSTITION – WHY SAILORS DO NOT CLINK GLASSES.
Please click the link above and read the Naval Yarn in my creative writing journal. The same is also posted below for your convenience.
A NAVY SUPERSTITION
WHY NAVAL OFFICERS AND SAILORS DO NOT CLINK GLASSES
At the start of a party or drinking session, whenever Civilians or Pongos clink their glasses, you may notice that a Naval Officer does not clink glasses but will just hold up his glass in his hand and say “Cheers” followed by a toast.
Sailors don’t clink glasses.
Here is the reason why:
WHY SAILORS DO NOT CLINK GLASSES
A Naval Superstition
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Most people clink glasses when they meet over a drink and make a toast for good luck and health.
However, Naval Officers never clink glasses when they make a toast. They just hold up their glasses and say “Cheers” and voice the toast.
The reason for this is as follows.
In the early days of the past, when a sailor died at sea, his body was buried at sea, committed to the deep waters, to the Davy Jones’s Locker at the bottom of the ocean.
The ship’s bell would be sounded 8 times as a mark of respect to the departed soul of the deceased mariner during the funeral service for burial at sea.
In a ship at sea, 8 bells are sounded at the end of a watch.
The 8 bells sounded at the funeral of the sailor signified “End of the Watch” for the sailor.
This the striking of “Eight Bells” (a nautical euphemism for “finished watch”) during burial at sea symbolized the obituary of the dead seaman and was a way of pronouncing that the dead sailor’s duty watch was finished forever.
The sound of clinking glasses is similar to the solemn toll of the ship’s bell as the body of a dead sailor was committed to the deep.
Thus, it was assumed that the clinking sound will herald the death of a sailor.
Hence, clinking of glasses on board ships was considered a bad omen.
There was another superstition to lessen the gravity of the evil portent in case a sailor inadvertently clinked his glass.
The sailor quickly silenced a clink that had mistakenly occurred with his hands or he quickly clinked a second time. It was thought that this would confuse the devil enough so that he might take a soldier instead.
Of course, this is all a myth, a superstition.
But the next time you see someone reluctant to clink his glass do ask him if he is a sailor.
Dear Reader: Tell me, do you find interesting these Naval Yarns I spin occasionally? You do? Okay, I will continue spinning yarns whenever I am in the mood.
VIKRAM KARVE
COCKTAIL ebook
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About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
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December 5, 2012
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: HE-WOMAN.
Click the link above to read the original story in my creative writing journal.
The story is also posted below for your convenience.
HE-WOMAN
Short Fiction Story – A Yarn
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This yarn is a spoof, a figment of imagination. Please read this short story only if you have a sense of humour. So first convince yourself that you have a sense of humour and only then read the yarn, take it with a pinch of salt, and have a laugh.
“Good evening.”
“Good evening, Sir.”
“May I join you?”
“Of course, Sir.”
“There is a party going on outside and you are sitting here all alone in the bar, drinking rum and drowning your sorrows. Come on outside and enjoy the party.”
“Please, Sir. It you could please excuse me. I am feeling a bit low.”
“I know. He told me. That is why I have come to talk to you.”
“He told you, Sir?”
“Yes. He told me that you proposed to him, asked him to marry you, and he turned you down. So you are feeling really bad, are you?”
“I loved him, Sir. I thought he loved me too. His rejection has shattered me, Sir.”
“He is feeling bad too. In fact he is feeling so guilt-ridden and embarrassed that he has requested for an immediate transfer from here, even if he is posted to a field area. He told me your proposal for marriage came as a complete surprise.”
“Surprise? We’ve been such good friends and we got along so well. I thought he would love to marry me and was feeling shy to propose to me. So I asked him to marry me and thought he would be delighted and say yes. I was totally shocked when he refused. I just don’t know why he doesn’t want to marry me.”
“Tell me, how many men want to marry manly women? How many men want a wife who gives their machismo a competition? I think you intimidate him by your demeanour.”
“I don’t understand, Sir.”
“He told me he likes you as a friend, as a buddy, but he cannot visualize you as a wife.”
“He can’t visualize me as a wife? Why, Sir?”
“In your endeavour to be “one of the boys”, you have actually started exhibiting male traits – you walk like a man, you talk like a man, you laugh like a man, you dress like a man, you even drink like a man – your bearing, your actions, your demeanour, I have noticed that you do almost everything like a man – in your desperate ambition to prove yourself in the army you try to outdo the men themselves.”
“But what can I do, Sir? I am the only lady officer in this unit and I am surrounded by male officers. And the soldiers are all men. I am a woman in a man’s profession. I must project a tough image.”
“Tough image? So that is why you are putting on an act and trying to pose as a “macho” man? You know, sometimes image can become reality. This can be dangerous. Remember one thing. When a woman tries to masquerade as a man, sometimes she may land up being a he-woman.”
“He-woman?”
“Yes. That’s what they have nicknamed you. He-woman!”
“That’s terrible, Sir. They shouldn’t make fun of me like that.”
“Tell me, were you shopping at the Mall near Main Street on Sunday evening? There was a gang of girls with you, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Sir. I had gone out with my college friends.”
“You all had plenty of ice cream at the food court.”
“Yes, Sir. How do you know?”
“I was there.”
“But I didn’t see you, Sir.”
“But I did notice you. You were looking so pretty in that bright red dress. You are so fair, so good-looking, that any bright colour suits you so well. I must say that I never imagined you can look so beautiful.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Then why do you deglamourize yourself when you are in the unit?”
“Sir, I can’t deck up in uniform.”
“No one is asking you to deck up in uniform. And I know you have to dress a bit soberly out here in the evenings too. I am just asking you bring out the girl hiding inside you. Just be yourself. There is no need to put on a macho act and try to look harsh. That’s why you are becoming a he-woman. Nature has made you a woman. Why are you trying to be a man? Why don’t you be your natural self? Why don’t you be a woman? I hope you understand what I am trying to convey.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Well, it is for you to resolve your role ambiguity. You have to decide for yourself. Remember, a he-man is attracted to she-woman. But if you are still adamant on being a he-woman then you better start looking for a she-man.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“What yes sir? Come, let’s go out and join the party.”
“You go ahead, Sir. I’ll go to my room, freshen up and get myself organized for the party.”
“I’ll put on something good, Sir, and I think I need to doll up and prettify a bit. I want to look beautiful and desirable, like a she-woman.”
“That’s good. But remember one thing.”
“What, Sir?”
“You are my adjutant. Tomorrow morning, in office, I want my he-woman back in action!”
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Posted in blog, career, creative, dating, education, ethics, fiction, humor, india, indian, karve, literary, literature, management, marriage, married, pune, short story, stories, story, storyteller, storytelling, stress, vikram, vikram karve, vikram waman karve, women, work, writer, writing | Tags: affair, air force, airforce, ambiguity, anthology, army, author, bachelor, blog, blogger, blogging, breakup, career, cocktail, creative, dating, divorce, extra marital affair, family, female, fiction, he, he man, he woman, HR, humor, husband, india, indian, job, karve, lady, life, lifestyle, love, macho, male, management, marriage, married, material, mess, military, naval, navy, officer, officer like qualities, officers, olq, party, pune, relationship, role, role ambiguity, romance, she, she man, she woman, spinster, stories, story, vikram, vikram karve, wife, woman, women, work, workplace, writer, writing, yarn |
August 24, 2012
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: WAKAD FOOD GUIDE – EATING in PUNE.
Please click the link and read the original post
The article is also posted below for your convenience
WAKAD FOOD GUIDE – EATING in PUNE
“EATING IN” in PUNE
WAKAD FOOD GUIDE
By
VIKRAM KARVE
There are places where you “eat out”.
But if you live in a desolate place like Wakad near Pune, then you “eat in”.
There are no decent eateries in Wakad where you can “eat out”. So if you are a foodie and, by some bad luck, you happen to live in Wakad, then all you can do when you feel hungry is to pick up your mobile cell phone (there are no landlines out here in Wakad) and order your food home delivery and “eat in” – yes, eat outside food in the comfort of your home.
Here are a few places in and around Wakad from where I order my food “home delivery”.
This is just a “laundry list” of 10 eateries with contact details.
1. ADITYA (Veg and Non Veg Meals) – 02065101088
2. INDIAN IN A BOX (Snacks and Light Meals – Veg and Non Veg) – 02022931800
3. MOTHER’S KITCHEN (Veg and Non Veg Meals) – 02032609482
4. HYDERABAD HOUSE (Biryani and Kabab) – 02032344966
5. VINISAIL (Wraps and Meal Combos) – 02060508885
6. SAUNDARYA GARDEN (Veg and Non Veg Meals) – 02032001007
7. THE SHANGHAI COURT (Chinese) – 0203254493
8. MAST KALANDAR (Veg Meals and Snacks) – 02060126044
9. KINGS PARADISE (Veg and Non Veg Meals) – 02060507080
10. FAASO’S (Wraps) – 02022934341 (Closed Down Temporarily)
And of course, there are the ubiquitous DOMINO’S (02022932786) SMOKING JOE’S (02022934000) MCDONALD’S (02066000666) and SUBWAY (02022932011).
And there are eateries like NAAZ (07875448695) EDDY’S KITCHEN (02065292757) GHAR KA KHANA and Rustic Taste Earthy Style (8796901018) which I have not tried yet.
As I said, the above is just a “laundry list” with contact details.
Of course, I have ordered from most of these places and I may have reviewed a few of these takeaway restaurants too.
I look forward to your comments and views on what you think of the food from these eateries.
Also, do tell us if you know of any good eating places in Wakad Pune, where you can “eat out” or from where you can order home delivery to “eat in”.
Soon I’ll tell you some value for money places to “eat out” in Wakad (in case I find some and in case you discover some good place do tell us).
Till then, order your food home and “eat in”.
HAPPY EATING
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Posted in food, food blog, good food, hobby, karve, leisure, poona, pune, tandoori, travel, trencherman, vikram, vikram karve, vikram waman karve, weblog, writing | Tags: aundh, author, balewadi, blog, blogger, blogging, burrp, cocktail, cuisine, delivery, dhaba, dhabha, dinner, eat, eatery, eating, fast food, food, guide, hinjewadi, home, hotel, india, indian, karve, leisure, list, lunch, mess, pune, restaurant, sherry, snack, spicewok, stall, takeaway, tea, travel, vikram, vikram karve, wakad, zomato |
March 18, 2012
Please click the link below to read in my journal (article also pasted below for your convenience) – I look forward to your comments.
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: OFFICERS MESS or WARDROOM – A Place to Promote Camaraderie – DEFINITION AND MEANING OF MESS MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS.
OFFICERS MESS or WARDROOM – A Place to Promote Camaraderie – DEFINITION AND MEANING OF MESS MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS
OFFICERS MESS or WARDROOM
DEFINITION AND MEANING OF MESS
MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS
The Officers Mess – A Place to Promote Camaraderie
By
VIKRAM KARVE
If you have served in the Army, Navy or Air Force or are familiar with Military life I am sure you know what is an OFFICERS MESS
(In the Navy an Officers Mess is called WARDROOM or Wardroom Mess).
OFFICERS is the plural of Officer and surely you know what the term “Officer” means, especially in the context of the Military.
But do you know what the acronym MESS stands for?
I am sure you know, but if you don’t know, then let me tell you.
The acronym MESS is the short form for Maintenance of Equal Social Status.
Yes, MESS = MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS
The very aim of an Officers Mess is to Maintain Equal Social Status amongst all its members, irrespective of their ranks.
Long back, during a party, I heard an Admiral once say: “All Officers have equal social status. Ranks are for administrative purposes only”.
If I recall correctly, he attributed this maxim to Field Marshal Cariappa who probably felt that excessive rank consciousness at social functions would adversely affect camaraderie amongst officers which would damage cohesion of the officer cadre.
That’s why in an Officers Mess, all members are equal and have the same social status, irrespective of the ranks and positions they hold outside the Mess. Yes, Rank Has Its Privileges (RHIP) but that is outside the Mess. Inside the Mess it is all about comradeship, friendship and fellowship.
So the next time you go to an Officers Mess don’t forget that the abbreviation MESS stands for MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS.
I have had the best of times and made the best of friends in Wardrooms and Officers Messes. Maybe, I’ll tell you about it, at least a few nostalgic yarns, sometime later right here in my blog.
Till then, Cheers and Godspeed.
Posted in karve, management, pune, symbiosis, vikram, vikram karve, vikram waman karve, writing | Tags: administration, air force, army, author, blog, book, cabin, cariappa, civil, cocktail, code, conduct, custom, customs, definition, etiquette, grace, graces, guide, india, indian, karve, life, lifestyle, meaning, mess, military, morale, mumbai, naval, navy, officer, officers, pune, rank, RHIP, room, rule, service, services, ship, social, status, tradition, traditions, vikram, vikram karve, ward, wardroom |
March 17, 2012
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: MESS – MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS — The Officers Mess – A Place to Promote Camaraderie.
The Definition and Meaning of MESS
Click the link above to read the full article in my journal
Article also pasted below from my journal for your convenience:
MESS – MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS
The Officers Mess – A Place to Promote Camaraderie
By
VIKRAM KARVE
If you have served in the Army, Navy or Air Force or are familiar with Military life I am sure you know what is an OFFICERS MESS (In the Navy an Officers Mess is called WARDROOM or Wardroom Mess).
OFFICERS is the plural of Officer and surely you know what the term “Officer” means, especially in the context of the Military.
But do you know what the acronym MESS stands for?
I am sure you do, but if you don’t then let me tell you.
The acronym MESS is the short form for Maintenance of Equal Social Status.
Yes, MESS = MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS
The very aim of an Officers Mess is to Maintain Equal Social Status amongst all its members, irrespective of their ranks.
Long back, during a party, I heard an Admiral once say: “All Officers have equal social status. Ranks are for administrative purposes only”.
If I recall correctly he attributed this maxim to Field Marshal Cariappa who probably felt that excessive rank consciousness at social functions would adversely affect camaraderie amongst officers which would damage cohesion of the officer cadre.
That’s why in an Officers Mess, all members are equal and have the same social status, irrespective of the ranks and positions they hold outside the Mess. Yes, Rank Has Its Privileges (RHIP) but that is outside the Mess. Inside the Mess it is all about comradeship, friendship and fellowship.
So the next time you go to an Officers Mess don’t forget that the abbreviation MESS stands for MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS.
I have had the best of times and made the best of friends in Wardrooms and Officers Messes. Maybe, I’ll tell you about it, at least a few nostalgic yarns, sometime later right here in my blog.
Till then, Cheers and Godspeed.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Posted in blog, blogcamp, blogger, blogging, book, career, creative, education, fun, humor, india, indian, institute, karve, life, lovedale, management, memoir, musing, non-fiction, poona, pune, symbiosis, vikram, vikram karve, vikram waman karve, writer, writing | Tags: air force, airforce, army, author, bar, blog, cabin, cadet, cariappa, civil, club, coast guard, cocktail, deemed, definition, diat, drink, eat, education, etiquette, girinagar, hinjewadi, HR, iat, india, indian, institute, karve, leadership, life, management, meaning, mess, military, navy, nda, officer, officers, pune, quote, rank, recreation, RHIP, room, service, services, ship, sims, social, sport, status, symbiosis, university, vikram, vikram karve, wakad, ward, wardroom, writer, writing |
November 18, 2011
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: EATING OUT IN PUNE – WAKAD HINJEWADI FOOD GUIDE Part 1.
WAKAD HINJEWADI FOOD GUIDE
Part 1
By
VIKRAM KARVE
“Eating-Out” and “Eating-In” in Wakad Hinjewadi Pune
1. NPB FOOD SQUARE
Our favourite place to eat out. This is a family place. We love this place for its bright clean spacious ambience and the variety of food you get there at affordable prices. This is the only place in Wakad where you will get decent Dosa or Idli. There are stalls serving all types of cuisine, veg and non-veg, snacks and meals – Maharashtrian (Sabudana Khicadi, Tahlipeeth and Misal) , North Indian (Paratha, Meals, Chaat), South Indian (Dosa, Idli, Wada Sambar and Thali), Chinese, Punjabi, Mughlai, Kababs, Curries and Biryani, Pizzas and Sandwiches, Milk Shakes and Ice Cream and of course there are plenty of delicious freshly Baked Delights and soothing desserts from New Poona Bakery (that’s what NPB stands for).
2. VARSHAKIRAN BHOJANALAYA
If you are in the mood for some home style food just dial 7588579635 and order a Maharashtrian Thali which will be delivered fresh and hot to your home in a stainless-steel Tiffin Carrier . A simple unpretentious wholesome meal comprising varan-bhat (dal-rice), two vegetables ( a rassa and a sukha bhaji), Chappaties and Salad. Priced at fifty bucks this is a real value-for-money meal.
3. FAASO’S
Go for the Wraps and avoid the rest of the menu. Yes, the wraps are superb – all the wraps are truly excellent – Veg and Non-Veg. (By the way, for the uninitiated, wraps are sanitized versions of the inimitable Kathi Rolls or Frankies). I especially like the Chicken Bhuna Wrap and Green Paneer Wrap. However, I found the “Mughlai” (Stuffed Mutton Paratha) terrible, almost nauseating, drenched in oil and stuffed with underdone mutton. I strongly recommend a visit by the Chef to Bade Mian in Mumbai to observe how Baida Roti is made if Faaso’s is serious about their “Mughlai” Parathas. Lastly, the less said about the “Biryani” the better – a truly pathetic flavourless Biryani with tough pieces of chicken with a tasteless potato and a cold boiled egg thrown in – truly appalling! The ambience of the eatery is pretty lousy too so I always prefer to dial 9325545355 and order the wraps home as they pack it quite well and hygienically. Remember, just stick to the Wraps. And here is some friendly advice for FAASO’S – Specialize in Wraps and discard the rest of the menu.
4. INDIAN IN A BOX
I like the food here. There is Chinese and there are the usual Indian dishes and all dishes are quite tasty. The only dish I do not like here is the Biryani – absolutely second-rate stuff. My favourite is the Meal-For-One “Favourite Chicken Box” comprising an Aloo Tuk Tuk + Chicken Tikka Masala + Laccha Paratha. So, of you are in the mood for a satiating meal dial 02022931800 and order whatever you want.
5. ADITYA
If you have hungry vegetarian guests dial 02065101088 and order the food from Aditya. My favourites are the Methi Malai Mutter and Navrattan Korma. While most Veg dishes are quite good, I found the Non-Veg dishes too spicy and oily and the Biryani was awful.
6. NATURAL ICE CREAM
I love ending my meal with soothing Tender Coconut Ice Cream from Natural Ice Cream Parlour!
Since I arrives in Wakad, I have been “Eating-In” more than “Eating-Out” since it is more convenient to order and have a relaxed meal in the comfort of my home than venture out in the crazy traffic and eat in places where the ambience is pretty unappetizing.
In Hinjewadi, there are many other places too like the ubiquitous McDonald’s, Domino’s, Smoking Joe’s and CCD and some excellent fine dining options like Barbeque Nation at Sayaji, MoMo Cafe at Courtyard Marriot, Admiralty, Lemon Tree and Mezza 9, and towarsd Baner there is the evergreen Sadanand and a cafe called Linger On which I have heard so much about and am going to visit soon. But I will tell you about them later.
Till now I have delved on the Western side of Wakad towards Hinjewadi.
Now I am going to explore the Eastern side of Wakad, places like Vishalnagar, Pimple Nilakh et al. Someone has just told me about a place called Iyer’s Tiffins in Vishalnagar nearby, so maybe I’ll drop in tomorrow morning for a Dosa and Filter Coffee or better still for an Idli-Wada “Tiffin” in the evening.
If anyone in Wakad is reading this, do let us know of some of your favourite eating places out here and nearby.
Till then, Happy Eating. And remember – there is no love greater than the love of eating.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Did you like reading this post?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my recently published book of short stories COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
Foodie Book: Appetite for a Stroll
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o
About Vikram Karve
A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 14 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
vikramkarve@gmail.com
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Posted in author, blogger, blogging, dating, drinking, eating, food, Food and drink, food blog, good food, health, hinjewadi, india, indian, karve, leisure, life, mughlai, poona, pune, stories, symbiosis, tandoori, vikram, vikram karve, writer, writing | Tags: aundh, author, bakery, baner, blog, blogging, book, buffet, business, cafe, chinchwad, chinese, cocktail, cuisine, date, dating, delivery, dosa, drink, drinking, eat, eating, ebook, faaso, faaso's, food, good, guide, gurav, hinjewadi, home, ice cream, idli, india, indian, infosys, institute, IT, karve, leisure, life, lifestyle, linger on, lunch, mall, meal, mess, midc, mumbai, nerd, new, north, npb, park, pcmc, pimple, pimple nilakh, pimpri, poona, property, pune, restaurant, road, romance, saudagar, school, snack, software, south, student, sunday, symbiosis, tcs, techies, thali, tiffin, traffic, travel, vikram, vikram karve, wakad, wipro, wrap, writer, writing |
March 7, 2011
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: MALPUA.
MOUTHWATERING PUNE MEMORIES
MALPUA
By
VIKRAM KARVE
One evening, a few years ago, while on my evening walk on ITI Road in Aundh Pune, I ducked into the basement of the Ozone Mall where I discovered a sweet shop called Kadhai.
The voracious appetite created by the brisk walk and the tempting array of sweets and savouries on display made my mouth water and created an appetite in me, and I was wondering what to eat, when suddenly I discovered one of my favourite sweets “Malpua” displayed on the Menu Chart hung on the wall.
This was indeed a pleasant surprise [since I never imagined I would get Malpua in Pune] and this pleasant surprise evoked nostalgic mouth-watering memories of the delicious Malpua-Kheer we savoured and devoured with gusto as a nourishing wholesome breakfast after bouts of heavy exercise on cold winter Sunday mornings long back in Varanasi.
Those were indeed the good old gastronomic days of high calorie energizing winter breakfasts like Malpua-Kheer and piping hot Jalebi or Lavang Lata with freshly boiled thick creamy Doodh [Milk] dipped and eaten the same way as one eats khari biscuits with Irani Chai.
I asked for Malpua and Kheer, but there was no Kheer, so I ordered a plate of Malpua and eagerly put a piece of the rich brown syrupy Malpua in my mouth.
It was terrible – the Malpua tasted like boiled rubber drenched in sugar syrup. It did not melt in the mouth, or dissolve gracefully on the palate, but disintegrated into brittle fragments and left a stodgy aftertaste.
The soft fluffy succulent lusciousness, the sweet-sour tang of banana and curd fermentation, the spicy fragrance of cardamom, and most important, the distinctive taste and classic flavour of saunf [badishep] which is the hallmark of authentic Malpua, were conspicuous by their absence.
I was so disappointed that I called the “Maharaj” and asked him how he had managed to bungle and botch this exquisite delicacy and churn out this inexcusably appalling stuff masquerading as Malpua.
“Simple,” he said, “Boil enough Milk till it becomes Rabdi, mix in Maida and make a smooth batter, fry the pancakes in pure Ghee and soak in sugar syrup.”
“Just Milk and Maida? That’s not how you make Malpua,” I told him, “What about the Banana, Saunf, Cardamom, Spices, Coconut, Dry Fruit, Curds…?”
“This is the Rajasthani Style Malpua,” he said sheepishly and disappeared.
There are many versions of Malpua all over India – I have tasted the Rajasthani, Bengali, Karnataka, Maharashtrian, Gujarati, MP and UP versions.
Then there are improvisations like potato malpua, pineapple malpua, orange malpua et al.
There is also the inimitable, slurpy rich heavy duty invigorating and energizing hearty Malpua, braced and fortified with eggs, prepared in the evenings and nights during the holy month of Ramzan by Suleman Mithaiwala at Mohammed Ali Road near Minara Masjid in Mumbai. It is a meal in itself, but if you want you really want to do justice it is better to start off with Kababs, relish the Malpua, and top up with cool sweet soothing Phirnee.
Tell me, in which genre of cuisine should Malpua be classified…?
I’ll tell you – genuine Malpua is Bihari Cuisine.
That’s right, no doubt about it, Malpua is a speciality of Bihar, like Khaja, and the best authentic Malpua is made Bihari Style, and this is how a Bihari friend of mine, an expert cook, taught me to make Malpua, long back.
MALPUA – The Recipe
Make a smooth batter with Maida, pinch of soda and salt, banana pulp, milk, cardamom [choti elaichi] pods and powder, a small pinch of nutmeg powder, freshly grated coconut, powdered and whole saunf, beaten curds and water. Beat well with your hands till the batter becomes light and fluffy. Cover and leave aside for an hour or more for a bit of fermentation.
Prepare 1:1 sugar syrup seasoned with cardamom and cloves. Sprinkle a little rosewater, saffron or essence, if you want. Keep the syrup hot, at least warm, to facilitate easy ingress into the malpua and to keep it soft and succulent.
Now mix and whip well with your hands, adding water if required, to get a smooth batter of pouring consistency, and deep-fry the pua [pancake] in pure ghee till nice and brown, soft and cooked, not too crisp.
When ready take out the fried pua , drain excess ghee, and dip the pua in the hot sugar syrup completely for a minute to enable just enough permeation but obviate over-sogginess.
With the sugar syrup absorbed, the pua has now become malpua and is ready to be eaten with deliciously sweet lip smacking Kheer.
Now don’t tell me you don’t know how to make delicious Kheer. Well I prefer delicious Rice Kheer, but if you want you can try it out with vermicelli (seviyan) kheer as long as you don’t make it too thick.
Malpua must be eaten with Kheer.
Malpua and Kheer is not a dessert, a pudding, or a snack, but a complete nourishing breakfast in its entirety. The luscious wholesome combination is heavenly and you will be overwhelmed with a wonderful feeling of blissful satiation.
HAPPY EATING
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
VIKRAM KARVE educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale, and Bishop’s School Pune, is an Electronics and Communications Engineer by profession, a Human Resource Manager and Trainer by occupation, a Teacher by vocation, a Creative Writer by inclination and a Foodie by passion. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. His delicious foodie blogs have been compiled in a book “Appetite for a Stroll”. A collection of his short stories about relationships titled COCKTAIL is being published soon and Vikram is currently busy writing his first novel and with his teaching and training assignments. Vikram lives in Pune with his family and his muse – his pet Doberman girl Sherry, with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
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February 26, 2011
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: WAKAD – Quality of Life – A Wishlist – Six Things Wanted in Wakad Pune.
WAKAD – QUALITY OF LIFE – A WISHLIST
LIVING IN PUNE
SIX THINGS WANTED IN WAKAD
By
VIKRAM KARVE
At present, there is Zero Quality of Life in Wakad.
Life is difficult in Wakad as even day-to-day requirements for a decent living are not available. And just imagine, Wakad is touted as a future “destination” and it is supposed to be a posh suburb of Pune. It is only when you start living here that reality strikes you.
I live in South Wakad, towards the Mula river, definitely the better part of Wakad, where at least the ambience is good, the view from my clean well lighted airy apartment is excellent with plenty of space all around and the air is fresh and unpolluted and there is still a bit of greenery around. I like the charming rustic ambience of the clean, serene, spiritual and well laid out Wakad village and once the connecting road is ready I will be able to walk down to the highway.
I really pity those who stay in North Wakad, on the other side of the Aundh Hinjewadi Road – it is a filthy, polluted, congested concrete jungle choking with traffic and terrible infrastructure. Construction activity is on full swing, with all the noise, dirt, and grime flying around, and there is a perpetual stench due to strewn garbage and debris, stray dogs abound dangerously and hapless people working on the construction sites defecate in the open fields.
Let’s hope for the best, stop cribbing and offer some constructive suggestions to improve the quality of life in Wakad. If anyone is listening, here is a small wish list of things urgently required in Wakad in order to alleviate the difficulties of Wakadkars and raise the quality of life.
I will list just SIX THINGS, six very basic requirements of urban life, to start with:
1. FOOD
There is an urgent need of some good value-for-money restaurants, eateries and fast food joints because, today, there is nowhere you can go to eat out in Wakad. Yes, you do not even get a decent Vada Pav or Bhel or Pani Puri or Misal or Dosa or Idli or Utthapam or Chola Bhatura or Pav Bhaji or a pastry or ice cream or a quality hygienic affordable value-for-money meal in Wakad. You can’t even get a decent cup of tea or coffee. If you want to have a snack, dosa, idli or an affordable meal, you have to go all the way to Aundh or to Sadanand in Baner. There are a few expensive hotels and overpriced “dhabas” on the Mumbai – Bangalore highway and on the Hinjewadi Road but what one needs are clean decent family places, like Udipi Restaurants, which are not too much of a burden on the pocket. Let’s also have some good fast food joints, an ice cream parlour, cafes and street food places (pav bhaji, Chinese etc) too. A Khau Galli (planned by PCMC near the waterfront) would be great. There are no sweet shops or halwais out here in Wakad. We require some home delivery restaurants too. Till then the only option is to order a pizza from Domino or a Burger from McDonalds.
2. BANKS and ATMs
There is just one ATM in Wakad – the solitary State Bank of India ATM in the petrol pump premises. Surprisingly there is not a single branch of any well-known bank in Wakad. I wish ICICI Bank, HDFC Bank, Axis, SBI and other big nationalised banks open Branches and ATMs soon in Wakad considering the huge customer base.
3. SHOPPING CENTRE and MALLS
Believe it or not!
There is no departmental store, electronic goods store, bookstore, shopping centre or mall in Wakad? There are hardly any shops either. Even to buy the basics you have to go all the way to Baner or Aundh or Chinchwad, which are quite far away. Just imagine the business such commercial enterprises would generate.
4. MULTIPLEX
If you want to see a movie, you go all the way to ESquare more than 12 kilometres away and on holidays, you may not get tickets. Is anyone planning a multiplex for all those entertainment hungry IT Pros living out here in Wakad? Something like ESQUARE – a decent place to spend a day and hang out.
5. LANDLINE TELEPHONES and BROADBAND
Let me tell you something you will probably not believe, incredible but true. You cannot get a BSNL Landline or Broadband in Wakad, the home to IT Professionals. Just before I relocated, I made a request via internet to BSNL for a landline and broadband connection at my new apartment in Rohan Tarang and promptly got an SMS that their staff would visit my place and give the connection immediately. I waited for a few days and when no one from BSNL turned up, I enquired with BSNL. I was shocked when BSNL informed me that it was not possible to give me landline telephone or broadband internet connection as there was no optical fibre cable in that area. Well, I don’t live in an uninhabited desolate mofussil area in the back of beyond or deep within remote uncharted forests and jungles – I live in a most modern township just a stone’s throw away from the much hyped “state-of-the-art” Infotech Park at Hinjewadi in Pune, which is being flaunted as the IT Capital of India. And, by the way, most of the persons living out here are IT Pros. That’s “Cart before Horse” infrastructure development for you!
6. MEDICAL FACILITIES
At serial six of this wishlist for Wakad, last but not the least, we need medical facilities, a hospital, clinics, doctors, dentists, even vets for pets. Right now there are NIL medical facilities in Wakad – even for the smallest of ills one has to rush to Pune City.
I hope for the best.
Maybe this wish list will be realized and the quality of life in Wakad will be elevated to a decent standard. PCMC must be collecting a huge amount of property taxes from Wakad and I am sure they will plough back some of the money into the development of Wakad and make Wakad a happening place to live in.
A large number of IT professionals employed by top-notch IT companies like Infosys, Wipro, Cognizant, TCS etc located in the Rajiv Gandhi InfoTech Park in Hinjewadi live in Wakad. I trust these companies will also do their bit to improve the quality of life in Wakad as a part of their Corporate Social Responsibility or CSR. This will encourage more and more IT Professionals to live in Wakad which is very near their workplaces and will reduce commuting time, save expensive fuel costs and also help in alleviating the terrible traffic chaos on the roads from Hinjewadi to Pune City. I think the IT companies must play their role in the development of Wakad as this will ultimately benefit them in the long run.
Until then, the best thing to do is to STAY INSIDE and STAY COOL and enjoy a life of solitude and contemplation! Just imagine that you are not living in Pune but in some rural setting, a back of beyond mofussil area, and plan your weekly trips to enjoy the delights of Pune City.
Dear Readers, especially fellow Wakadkars, please do comment and add on to the list…
PS:
Let me end on a positive note and tell you the best thing I like about Wakad (in addition to the excellent connectivity, which is a well-known fact).
There is a beautiful garden on the banks of Mula where I spend my evenings on the lush green lawns by the waterfront enjoying the sublime spirituality in the air.
I eagerly await the BRTS – once this comes through there will be plenty of space for pedestrians and cyclists like there is on the BRTS Satara Road where one can enjoy one’s walks unhindered. As and when the BRTS sees the light of the day, one can hope to travel in the comfortable BRTS Buses to Pune city, the traffic congestion will ease too, and driving will become pleasurable.
Let’s wait and watch – maybe Wakad will become a great place to live in.
To be continued ….
VIKRAM KARVE
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
VIKRAM KARVE educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale, and Bishop’s School Pune, is an Electronics and Communications Engineer by profession, a Human Resource Manager and Trainer by occupation, a Teacher by vocation, a Creative Writer by inclination and a Foodie by passion. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. He has written a foodie book Appetite For A Stroll and a book of fiction short stories COCKTAIL being published soon and is busy writing his first novel and with his teaching and training assignments. Vikram lives in Wakad Pune with his family and pet DobermanX girl Sherry, with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
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