Book Review

March 29, 2017

Great Short Stories Of The WorldGreat Short Stories Of The World by Reader’s Digest Association
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I feel that his anthology of short fiction is a must for the bookcase of every creative writer – and essential reading for every person who loves literature – especially short fiction.
The book features a selection of 71 short stories from accomplished creative writers of the world – duly translated in English where required.
Each story is unique, conveys a powerful message, and is a lesson in creative writing.
I first read this book in 1991 and these stories introduced me to many authors I had not read before – which gave me the motivation to explore their writings.
I pull out this book from my bookcase very often – open a random page – and read a story – yes – the stories can be savoured again and again – and every time you read them – you feel an epiphany.
Do read the stories in “Great Short Stories of the World” – it will be a fulfilling experience.

View all my reviews

A Delightful Story from My Wonderful Navy Days – FLEET NIGHT

March 26, 2017

Humor in Uniform 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-fleet-night-navy-ship.html

This afternoon we had a get-together of Navy Veterans in Pune organised by the Navy Foundation Pune Charter every quarter.

At the meet – I met a shipmate – and – we remembered this delightful story from our wonderful Navy days…

FLEET NIGHT – Navy Ship Awards Function

A Memoir By Vikram Karve

This happened long back – around 30 years ago – in the 1980’s.

It was “Fleet Night” – the Annual Fleet Awards Function.

The Chief Guest for the function was the Chief of the Naval Staff (CNS) – who had come down from Naval Headquarters New Delhi to grace the occasion.

The C-in-C – the Fleet Commander – and – the local “Top Brass” – all were present with their families.

Officers and Sailors of various Ships of the Fleet were seated with their families in the grand auditorium.

First – there was a most enjoyable entertainment programme performed by officers and sailors of the fleet and their families.

This was followed by a prize distribution ceremony to present the Fleet Awards.

Various Trophies were being awarded to ships.

Our ship was a frontline warship which had performed exceedingly well in all aspects throughout the previous year.

We were sure that our ship deserved to win most of the Trophies.

Many thought that – maybe – our ship would win all the Trophies.

In fact – even officers from other ships acknowledged that our ship deserved most of the Trophies due to our superb consistent demonstrated performance.

The prize distribution ceremony started.

The winners of the various Trophies were announced by the Fleet Commander – one by one – and – the respective Captains went up to receive the Trophies from the Navy Chief (CNS) who was the Chief Guest.

As the prize distribution progressed – we were disappointed that our ship had not been awarded even one single trophy so far.

It seemed that our ship was being totally ignored.

The blatant bias was evident to all.

Our XO remarked that maybe this prejudice against our ship was because the Fleet Commander did not like our Captain.

We really did not know the actual reason for Fleet Commander’s dislike of our Captain.

But – someone said that this aversion was because our Captain was a “CW Officer” – who had been promoted from the “Lower Deck” under the “Upper Yardman Scheme”.

During his Sailor Days – our Captain had been selected as a CW (Commission Worthy) Candidate.

Then – he been promoted from the ranks of sailors – to the rank of Acting Sub Lieutenant (he was a “Mustang” in US Navy parlance)

Our Captain was an officer who started his career as a sailor and then had come up the hard way – unlike most of his “elitist” counterparts who had joined the prestigious National Defence Academy (NDA) and had been commissioned as Naval Officers after training as Cadets and Midshipmen.

It seemed that the ex-NDA Fleet Commander had a dislike for CW Officers in general – but – he had a particular dislike towards our Captain.

In fact – many officers felt that the ex-NDA Fleet Commander was also biased against Direct Entry Officers who had graduated from the Naval Academy – and – he seemed to openly favour ex-NDA Officers.

It all seemed very unfair to us.

It was clear that our ship was being discriminated against – because of personal likes and dislikes.

As the award ceremony progressed towards its conclusion – we were reconciled to returning back to our ship empty handed – without even one single trophy.

Suddenly – we were surprised to hear our ship’s name being announced for a Trophy.

The Trophy was for “Maximum Days at Sea”.

“Days at Sea” was a recorded fact – and – this could not be manipulated.

And – it was an undisputed fact that our ship had indeed spent the maximum days at sea as compared to other ships of the fleet

Our Captain went up to receive the Trophy.

While presenting the “Maximum Days at Sea Trophy” to our Captain – the witty Navy Chief (CNS) remarked to the Fleet Commander:

“Well – you denied him all the trophies – but – you couldn’t deny him this trophy – could you…?”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-fleet-night-navy-ship.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a revised re-post of my “Humor in Uniform” Story PARTING SHOT posted online by me 3 years ago on June 20, 2014 in my blog at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/06/humor-in-uniform-parting-shot.html and reposted duly revised at url:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/05/humor-in-uniform-fleet-night.html

Relationships – Hypocrisy and Double Standards

March 18, 2017

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/mother-and-mother-in-law-dr-jekyll-and.html

Sometime ago – I met a lady at a family get-together.

Her daughter-in-law was dutifully following her all around – like the lamb in the nursery rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb”  

“Of course my son and daughter-in-law stay with me in our house – I believe in the Joint Family System…” the lady said when someone asked the daughter-in-law where she lived.

Later – I met the lady’s daughter and her husband (son-in-law of the lady).

I knew her “in-laws” – they lived in Sadashiv Peth.

“So – how is Sadashiv Peth…? I lived there in the 1960’s when I was a small boy…” I said to her (the lady’s daughter).

“I don’t live in Sadashiv Peth – I live in Aundh…” she said.

“Oh – so your “in-laws” have shifted to Aundh…?” I asked.

“No – my “in-laws” stay in the same old bungalow in Sadashiv Peth – but I stay with my husband in our flat in Aundh…” she said.

Later – I asked the lady: “So – your daughter doesn’t stay with her “in-laws”…”

“No. No. My daughter lives in her flat in Aundh. I advised her to stay separately – so she can enjoy her freedom – her “in-laws” are very old-fashioned – especially her mother-in-law – she will make my daughter’s life hell…” the lady said.

I smiled to myself at her double-standards and hypocrisy – the “Joint Family System” was good for her daughter-in-law – but – the same “Joint Family System” was not good for her daughter.

And – I remembered a story I had written sometime ago.

Sometimes – Truth is stranger than Fiction – or rather – there is a very thin line between truth and fiction.

Read on…

JOINT FAMILY versus NUCLEAR FAMILY 

HYPOCRISY – A Story of Double Standards By Vikram Karve

Part 1

JOINT FAMILY

“Is everything okay…? You don’t look well…” I said to her.

“I am okay, Sir – I am just feeling tired, that’s all…” she said.

“Tired…? Well – work has just begun…”

“My tiredness is not work-related, Sir…”

“Tell me – what is the matter…?”

“Sir – for me – it’s the long commute to work that wears me out – it takes me nearly 2 hours to get here to Hinjewadi from Kharadi – and in the evening – Sir – you know how bad the rush hour traffic is in Pune – it sometimes takes me 3 hours to get home – and then – even at home – there is so much work to do in the house – cooking, housework – I have to cook in the morning – and then again in the evening – sometimes I feel that I will collapse due to the exhaustion…” she said.

“Why don’t you shift nearby…? There are plenty of flats available in Wakad – just a 10 minute drive from Hinjewadi – you will easily get a good 2 BHK flat on rent well within your HRA – and it will be convenient for your husband too – his factory in Chinchwad is also a 10 minute drive from Wakad – in fact – there are some flats available for rental in my society – I will ask around – or – if you want – you can even buy your own flat in Wakad – I will find out…” I said.

“Thank you, Sir – but my ‘mother-in-law’ will not allow us to stay separately…” she said.

“Really…? Why…?” I said.

“Sir – my “mother-in-law” says that she believes in the “Joint Family System”…” she said.

Part 2

NUCLEAR FAMILY

Three years later – I met the same “mother-in-law” – yes – the very same mother-in-law of my erstwhile “Techie” colleague.

She was the same woman who believed in the “Joint Family System”.

By the way – I had changed my job – and – I was now working for another “IT Software Company” – also located in Hinjewadi.

Call it coincidence – but the woman’s daughter had recently joined my new company.

And – like her “daughter-in-law” – her daughter was also a “Techie”.

It was the company anniversary function.

The woman’s “Techie” daughter had come along with her husband – and she had also brought her mother and father along.

The woman smiled at me (the same woman who was the “mother-in-law” of my earlier colleague – and – the mother of my present colleague)

I introduced myself – and I told her that I had earlier worked with her “daughter-in-law” in my previous office.

“So – like your “daughter-in-law” – your daughter too must be having a tough time commuting to work to Hinjewadi from the city every day…” I said to the woman.

“No – my daughter lives in Wakad…” the woman said.

“Oh – your daughter lives nearby in Wakad…? So – her “in-laws” – your daughter’s “in-laws” – they live in Wakad – is it…? I said.

“No – her “in-laws” live in their house in Model Colony – it is too far from her office…” she said.

I was baffled.

The woman made her “daughter-in-law’ commute every day from Kharadi – which was much further away from Hinjewadi than Model Colony – where her daughter’s “in-laws” lived.

“Model Colony is not that far away from Hinjewadi…” I said.

“Actually – it is not that – I did not want my daughter to stay with her in-laws – they are too old-fashioned – so I told my daughter and her husband to buy their own flat and stay separately…” she said.

“But – I thought that you believed in the Joint Family System – didn’t you make your daughter-in-law stay with you as a Joint Family…?” I said.

“That is different…” she said.

I was susrprised – so I asked the woman:

“Different…? 

What do you mean different…? 

You force your daughter-in-law to stay with you as a Joint Family” 

But – you tell your daughter to live separately from her in-laws as a Nuclear Family…? 

I just don’t understand your views. 

Do you believe in the Joint Family System”…? 

Or – do you believe in the Nuclear Family System…? I said to the woman.

“You won’t understand these things…” the woman said – and she walked away.

EPILOGUE

Yes – I don’t understand these things – I just don’t understand the hypocrisy.

As a “mother-in-law” – she believed in the “Joint Family System” – and – she wanted her “daughter-in-law” to live under her command and she expected her “daughter-in-law” to serve her

But – as a mother – she believed in the Nuclear Family System” – and – she wanted her daughter to live separately from her in-laws”…

I don’t understand why women have double standards – one yardstick their daughters-in-law – and  another yardstick for their own daughters.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This fiction story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/mother-and-mother-in-law-dr-jekyll-and.html

Abridged and Revised Version of my Story HYPOCRISY posted online earlier by me Vikram Karve on January 25, 2016 in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/hypocrisy.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/02/joint-family-versus-nuclear-family.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/family-humor-joint-family-versus.html

A Ribald “Romance” Story – Twice Bitten – Never Shy

March 13, 2017

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/sucker-punch-twice-bitten-never-shy.html

Today is Holi.

Holi is an occasion for bawdy humour and raunchy jokes.

So let me pull out a rather ribald “romance” story for you to enjoy – and to have a hearty laugh.

It is just a fictional yarn – humorous satire – a spoof – no offence meant to anybody – so take it in the right spirit of Holi – like they say:

Bura na mano  Holi hai  (“Don’t mind – it’s Holi!”)

But before you read this story – Dear Reader – first check whether you have a sense of humor – and only after you confirm that you indeed have a sense of humor – should you then continue reading ahead.

Yes – please read this apocryphal story only if you have a sense of humor.

This fiction story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a hearty laugh.

Also – this story is for mature adults only – so if you are a kid – or an overly gender sensitive type – please skip this post.

This story is a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

If you are game for some satire – a spoof – read on and have a laugh…

SUCKER PUNCH 

TWICE BITTEN NEVER SHY

Short Fiction – A Love Story – Passionate Romance By Vikram Karve

Dear Reader:

Here is a story from my collection COCKTAIL

Please read this story with a pinch of salt.

I think it is one of my bizarre stories – an example of my inchoate and amateurish attempts at writing in my early days.

I wrote this yarn – a rather tall story – around 20 years ago – sometime in the 1990’s – after a visit to Goa.

I still remember the unforgettable railway journey – when you travelled to Goa by that delightful metre-gauge train – winding its way down from Londa – past the cascading Dudhsagar falls – to the rail terminus at Vasco.

I wonder what genre one can call this.

Romance…? Pulp Fiction…? Chic Lit…? Or maybe – what they now call “Metro Read”…

Let’s say that it is a story for “Urban Adults”.

Well – I have warned you…

So – My Dear Reader – if you still want to read this bizarre, preposterous story – go ahead and do so at your own peril.

So just relax – transport yourself back in time 20 years to the 1990s – and enjoy this story.

Have a laugh – and don’t forget the brickbats (and bouquets, if any).

As always – I value your comments and feedback.

Part 1 – ONCE BITTEN

Bangalore 31 December 1992

I looked thoughtfully, with nostalgia and pride, at the words inscribed on the brass plaque I held in my hand:

THE FIRST TIME YOU SLAP ME – IT IS YOUR FAULT 

THE SECOND TIME YOU SLAP ME – IT IS MY FAULT

This engraved plaque was the only item that I had brought with me from my old office in Pune.

I had now made it big time. A top job in a prestigious firm in Bangalore.

I gave the brass plaque to Suhas and told him to hang it on the wall.

For added effect – I loudly recited the words – a Chinese proverb – again and again.

The first impression is a lasting one.

I wanted to project myself as a tough guy – and I had dramatically succeeded.

I had totally intimidated Suhas into submission.

He had never expected that I would order him to drive me from the airport straight to office on a Sunday – get the office opened – and give me a detailed briefing.

Suhas had been one of the aspirants for the chair I was sitting on – now he would be my deputy.

If he was disappointed at not being promoted – he did not show it.

After all – Suhas had worked for 10 years in the same firm – and surely he did not like an outsider like me being thrust upon him as his boss

As I stroked my beard – I looked appraisingly at Suhas.

True to his name – he had a sweet pleasant smile.

But he looked a weakling – one of those suave, slimy, effeminate characters that adorn the corporate world – a soft-spoken, clean-shaven, ingratiating sissy with an almost feminine voice and carefully cultivated mannerisms – as if he had been trained in a finishing school.

Suhas had no masculinity, no manliness about him.

He was one of those sissy chikna types who were bullied and ragged and sought after to be buggered at school and college.

In my mind’s eye – I smiled to myself at my excellent assessment.

Suhas handed me an invitation card and stammered: “Sir, an invitation for the New Year Eve party tonight.”

I was genuinely pleased and gave him an appreciative smile.

In my euphoria – I had almost forgotten the date.

Eager-Beaver and sycophant that he was – Suresh had organized a partner for me – Anita – a young ambitious executive anxious to please the boss.

Anita was openly showing her willingness to get involved with me.

A pity – as I was not interested in Anita.

She was not my type of woman.

Anita was one of those synthetic beauties – pleasing to look at – but not exciting to embrace.

Dainty, delicate, perfectly poised, petite, precise, prim and proper – her make-up perfect and exact – she looked like an artificial doll – optimally designed, precisely engineered and finished to perfection.

Her actions appeared carefully contrived – there was no spontaneity about her.

That vital spark of sensuality was missing.

I could see that she had titivated for me – but I was not titillated.

I liked voluptuous, sensual, earthy women – the rough-and-ready kind.

As we danced – Anita pressed against me in desperate appeal.

I was not stirred.

She was too “simulated” to stimulate me.

I signalled to Suhas who rescued me – and he took Anita away for a dance.

I picked up a drink and took up a strong tactical position with my back to the wall.

I looked at Anita – “Good from Far –but – Far from Good – as we used to say in college.

I smiled to myself.

I sipped my drink.

I lit a cigarette.

And – I looked at the entrance.

I saw her almost at once.

She radiated an extraordinary sensuousness of a degree I had never experienced before.

The impact was so overwhelming that I was instantly aroused and consumed with desire.

She could not have made her body more inviting.

There was nothing delicate about her.

Plump and lusty – she oozed raw sexuality.

I ached with desire – and I drank her in with my eyes, insatiably.

“Enjoying the party, Sir… ” Suhas had followed my transfixed gaze.

He guessed what was on my mind – and he said to me: “That dish is “Menaka”. She’s a hot-shot executive working in our main competitor firm. Let me formally introduce you.”

“No…” I said, “not now.”

Politeness is a pleasant way for a man to get nowhere with a woman.

Suhas got the hint and he left me alone.

My hungry eyes locked on to the woman whose name, Suhas had told me, wasMenaka.

I was feasting my eyes on her captivating face – when she suddenly turned and glanced at me.

Our eyes met.

She looked at me for that moment longer than necessary – then – with a curious smile – she turned back to talk to her group.

I kept my eyes on her – looking steadily and directly – trying to transmit and project my thought-waves of passionate yearning.

She adjusted her stance slightly – probably to observe me through the corner of her eye.

Her gestures indicated that I had succeeded in disturbing the equilibrium of her personal inner comfort zone.

I was thrilled with anticipation.

Suddenly she excused herself from her group walked towards a secluded corner.

She turned and looked directly towards me.

She held my gaze in a kind of challenge – there was a lengthy pause – and then – she smiled.

There was a conspiratorial look in her expressive eyes – at once inviting and taunting.

She teased me with her eyes.

My stimulus had evoked a response.

Encouraged by her enthusiastic response – I indulged myself lavishly.

I made love to her with my eyes.

She responded with unrestrained zeal – exhilaration pouring out of her eyes.

As our mutual visual interplay became intense – I could clearly decipher the language in her eyes.

I did not require the power of clairvoyance to look into the province of her mind – to read her thoughts.

I boldly walked up to her and I asked her for a dance.

As I led her onto the dance-floor – I realized that – every man, who was a man, was hungrily ogling at her.

I felt the natural pride of possession that any man feels when he has the company of a woman that other men desire.

We danced continuously, without break.

I held her tightly.

She let her body rub against mine.

Suddenly – the lights went off.

Someone announced: “One minute left for the New Year.”

It was pitch-dark.

The dance-floor was packed with bodies.

I locked Menaka in a passionate embrace.

Intoxicated by the aroma of her natural scent – I caressed her neck with my tongue.

Her skin was moist with sweat.

She sighed – and her breathing became heavy and rapid.

I kissed her warm mouth – a fervent passionate kiss.

She kissed me back – most eagerly and amorously.

As our tongues intertwined – I could taste the fresh flavour of her mouthwash mixed with her hot saliva.

We were luxuriating in a wave of sensuality which had engulfed us – when the lights were suddenly switched on.

Everyone seemed to have gone berserk – shouting “Happy New Year” at the top of their voices – with hooters, whistles, horns, drums and shouts raising the noise level to a deafening din.

“Happy New Year…” it was Suhas.

He was quite drunk.

Anita was standing next to him – her hurt quite evident in her eyes.

First I had rejected her – and now – she had seen Menaka and me in passionate embrace…

Before I realized it – Menaka had quickly disengaged and walked away.

I was too confused to react.

Suddenly – Anita pulled me to dance.

She still hadn’t given up hopes.

I kissed her on the cheeks – and wished her a Happy New Year.

Then – I tried to find Menaka – but I could not see her anywhere.

So – I joined in the merrymaking with Anita.

It was only after a considerable amount of time that I noticed – Suhas had disappeared.

It took me a week to sink my teeth into my new assignment.

I worked hard.

My first vital challenge was to win a huge software development contract with a multinational company.

It was a prestigious contract.

A large number of firms would be vying for it.

It was imperative that I succeeded in winning it – to establish my credentials and prove my worth.

The primary reason I had been appointed to the top post was owing to my expertise and track record in this area.

My professional reputation was at stake.

By the end of the week – I had my proposal ready.

I kept just one hard copy – no soft copies – for I believe that you should not store anything in a computer that you cannot display on a public notice board.

But – my being busy at work was not the only reason that I had not contacted Menaka.

I had not forgotten the sensuality of her body.

During nights – as I lay awake in bed – I desperately yearned for her – I felt like a volcano without eruption.

I purposely did not make the first move.

I didn’t want Menaka to think I was desperate – I did not want to grovel before her.

I had ardently communicated my unspoken intentions to Menaka on New Year’s Eve – if she wanted me – it was her prerogative to contact me.

One day – while I was working in my plush office – suddenly my phone rang.

It was Menaka.

I felt a tremor of anticipation.

She invited me to lunch at a nearby restaurant.

I accepted.

Menaka was waiting for me outside the restaurant.

She was dressed in a full-sleeved blouse and a heavy formal blue silk sari.

It was hot.

The fabric of her blouse around her armpits was wet with sweat.

She looked and smelt natural – no attempt to camouflage her raw steamy sensuousness behind the synthetic mask of make-up and deodorants.

Raw steamy sensuousness – that’s what I liked about her.

It stimulated me and attracted me towards her.

As we sipped chilled beer – I found that she was easy to talk to.

I had a strange feeling of elation.

In these moods there was so much to say – the words simply came tumbling out.

I told her everything about myself.

In hindsight – I realize that she hardly told me anything about herself.

We met often during the next few days – arranging rendezvous in restaurants and our club.

Menaka tantalized me.

But – she did not let me go all the way.

A bit of petting, necking, fondling, caressing, hugging, kissing, cuddling – it was okay.

But there – she drew the line.

She never invited me home – nor did she talk about her personal things.

At first – I was patient.

No point hurrying up or forcing things.

I did not want to lose her.

There is a time to let things happen – and a time to make things happen.

I thought that “I would let things happen…”

But – the more I met Menaka – the more the desire began building up in me.

The time had come to make things happen.

I was wondering what strategy I should adopt – when Suhas interrupted my thoughts:

“Drying a divorcee’s tears is one of the most dangerous pastimes known to man…”

I tried to hide my surprise and regain my composure.

I certainly wasn’t interested in drying Menaka’s tears…!!!

“I didn’t know she is a divorcee…” I said, “In any case it’s a purely platonic friendship.”

“All such platonic relationships have a potential to culminate into affairs…” Suhas pontificated.

I was getting angry now.

Surely – I didn’t need a lecture on how to handle women from this prissy effeminate sissy.

Suhas sensed my feelings and pleaded: “The office grapevine is pulsating with juicy rumours about your romance with Menaka. Such liaisons can be dangerous. She is working for our rival firm which is competing for the same vital contract we are so desperately trying for…”

This was news to me.

Menaka hadn’t mentioned anything about the contract.

I looked innocently at Suhas.

I would have to be careful with this Nosey Parker around.

One evening I was stunned when Menaka suddenly walked into my office.

I had not bargained for this unexpected situation at all.

It was one thing to meet Menaka in some restaurant or club.

It was quite another thing to have her show up bold as brass at my office – it was embarrassing and downright dangerous.

“Don’t worry – everyone has gone home…” Menaka said – and she came around my desk and stood close to me.

I was sitting on my swivel-chair working on the computer.

I swivelled my chair around.

Her silky smooth stomach was inches from my face.

I sensed the beginnings of the experience which had been eluding me.

I was tremendously excited, yet frightened.

Even the improbability of the situation made me slightly incredulous and cautious.

But I could not control myself and animal instinct took charge of me.

I clasped her hips and buried my face in her stomach – and we both were going wildly berserk with passionate lovemaking – when suddenly – the door opened – and Suhas walked in.

A few moments later – as I sat in Suhas’s office trying to regain my composure – I realized that Suhas had not spoken a word – and he was totally ignoring me.

Suhas was sitting quietly – ostensibly engrossed in work.

The nuance wasn’t lost on me.

I had left Menaka in my office to tidy up.

I wondered what effect this episode would have on her.

Suddenly an ominous thought entered my mind and I was overcome by a strange foreboding.

I rushed to my office.

Menaka had disappeared.

I yanked open my desk drawer.

I broke into cold sweat.

My premonition had come true – the vital file was missing.

Disgraced – accused of moral turpitude and disloyalty – I resigned my job and left Bangalore forever – under a cloud of shame – a discredited man.

Needless to say – Suhas walked into my job.

Part 2 – TWICE BITTEN

Pune – 31 December 1998 

I was not one to wallow in despondency for long.

I put the episode behind me and went on a sabbatical.

Interestingly, I found my true métier in the world of academics.

I bounced back into life with vigour and zeal.

I started teaching and, in a couple of years, was heading my own computer training institute.

5 years later, I stood on the platform of Pune Railway Station and scanned the passenger list on the reservation chart.

No matter how many times I begin a train journey; there is always an intriguing interest in seeing who one’s follow-passengers are.

I was on berth number 27.

Berth number 28 was reserved in the name of a Mrs. M. Kumar, Age 35.

All others in the vicinity were males.

A disappointment.

I always wondered why all the good “chicks” were in other trains, in other compartments.

Let’s hope this Mrs. Kumar was worth a look, at least.

When Mrs. Kumar entered and sat down opposite me, I was dumbstruck.

It was Menaka.

She gave me a warm smile and started talking of me as if she were expecting me. Her behaviour was natural, as if she had fixed up a rendezvous with me here on the train. No guilt, no regret, no remorse.

There was absolutely no trace of surprise at seeing me evident on her face.

She had blossomed.

Her beauty had enhanced with age.

“I was looking forward to meeting you…” Menaka said looking directly into my eyes, “It’s good they organized the seminar in Goa. We shall enjoy ourselves. And, of course, we can finish our unfinished business. It’s so exciting…!!!”

I couldn’t believe my ears.

I cannot begin to describe my emotions I felt.

At once – I hated Menaka for the way she had played with me – used me – and then tossed me by the wayside.

But – at the same time – she evoked within me the familiar stirrings of passion.

But I knew it was dangerous – so I decided to steer clear of her – “once bitten, twice shy”.

I avoided talking to Menaka – I snubbed her when she tried to start a conversation – and – I pretended to read and we travelled in silence on the broad-gauge train from Pune to Miraj – where we would change over to the connecting metre-gauge express to Goa.

Hopefully – Menaka would get seat away from me.

In the evening – just before Miraj – the train conductor arrived and he said: “There is no air-conditioned service on the metre-gauge overnight train from Miraj to Vasco Da Gama. You will have to travel first class.”

“Both of us are together. Give us a coupe…” Menaka said to the train conductor.

I was struck dumb – tongue-tied – the moment I heard her words.

“Yes, Madam, I will allot you Coach F-1, coupe compartment D…” the train conductor said to her – then he gave me a canny look and said in railway lingo: “This train reaches Miraj at 2000 hrs. The connecting metre-gauge train leaves at 2030.”

Menaka sat down close to me on the berth of the coupe of the metre-gauge train.

The compartment’s smallness forced us into such an arousing intimacy – that I could not control myself when she made her move.

She made love to me with a professional’s skill and an amateur’s enthusiasm.

Making love in a speeding metre-gauge train was an awesome experience.

As the train rocked and sped through the night – we went crazy with passion – and she did not let me rest – but brought me back to her each time I tried to slide away from her, exhausted.

In the next two weeks – I realized the wildest of my fantasies with her.

We made love to each other in all possible ways, at all possible places.

Later – as I lay next to her on the wet sand in a secluded corner of the beach, intoxicated with ‘feni’ – I felt exhausted, drained and gratified.

“Enough is Enough…” I said to myself – and I decided to leave quietly next morning.

Part 3 – SUCKER PUNCH

6 months later I had a surprise visitor.

It was Anita.

She had a parcel for me.

I opened it.

There was a ‘Thank-You’ card from Menaka.

There was also the brass plaque with the Chinese proverb which I had forgotten in my Bangalore office.

I looked at the familiar words on the brass plaque:

“The first time you slap me – it is your fault.

The second time you slap me – it is my fault.”

I was baffled, nonplussed.

Why had Menaka sent me this brass plaque…?

Was there a hidden message in this…?

I looked at the ‘Thank-You’ card – and I read the words inscribed on the card:

“From Menaka Kumar”

The “Kumar” was intriguing – those days she called herself “Menaka” – that’s all.

“Tell me Anita – who is this “Kumar” fellow that Menaka remarried. Or is it her first husband’s surname. Or was it her maiden name…?” I asked Anita.

Anita burst out laughing: “She married Suhas. Suhas “Kumar”. Your ex-deputy. Have you forgotten him…?”

I felt angry, betrayed.

“Suhas”…!!!

Just imagine…!!!

Menaka had married that effete womanish softy.

He was hardly man enough for her.

What a mismatch…?

She needed a real man – a strong, virile, potent man like me.

Seeing the look on my face, Anita spoke quickly: “Suhas and Menaka got married soon after you left. Now they have set up their own firm. I work for them.”

She abruptly stopped speaking.

I could sense her hesitation.

But I wanted to know why Menaka had sent Anita to me.

It was an intriguing mystery.

“Go on,” I said, “Tell me everything.”

Anita gave me a curious look and said: “Menaka is pregnant for the first time. She was trying desperately all these years. And finally it happened after so long. I am so happy for her. The baby is due in another three months time.”

Comprehension dawned on me pretty fast.

Anita need not have spelt it out to me.

I did not know whether to laugh or to cry.

Menaka had used me again, for the second time, to realize her goal – and then cast me aside.

She had “slapped” me again…!!!

But – was it a “slap”…?

Had Menaka “slapped” me for the second time…?

Had she delivered a “sucker punch”…?

I don’t know.

I truly don’t know.

And – I don’t care.

I picked up the brass plaque – and – looked at it nostalgically for the last time.

I read the words engraved on the plaque:

“The first time you slap me – it is your fault. 

The second time you slap me  it is my fault.”

Then – I tossed the plaque out of the window.

No more proverbs for me.

“Convey my congratulations and best wishes to Menaka,” I said genuinely to Anita, “Tell her that I am eagerly waiting for the next rendezvous with her. Whenever she wants me – wherever she wants me – any time – any place – I will always be there at her service.”

EPILOGUE 

10 years have passed since – ten long years.

Often I think of Menaka – I yearn for her – and – I wonder when I am going to have my next rendezvous with her – I am eagerly waiting for her to “slap” me again.

Yes – I wait in anticipation for Menaka to deliver the next “sucker punch”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/sucker-punch-twice-bitten-never-shy.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is an abridged revised version of my story ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY written by me (Vikram Karve) 20 years ago in the 1997. The story also features in my anthology of short stories abour relationships COCKTAIL

This story has been posted online by me a number of times on my various creative writing blogs including at urls: http://creative.sulekha.com/sucker-punch_62393_blog  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/once-bitten-twice-shy-short-fiction.html  and  https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/04/blog-fiction-story-no-34-once-bitten.html etc

Does “Jaundice Phobia” cause “Alcohol Dependence”

March 12, 2017

Hilarious Memories of my Delightful Navy Days

Here is a “memoir” from my wonderful Navy Days – this story happened in Mumbai during the rainy season around 39 years ago in the 1970’s…

JAUNDICE PHOBIA 

A Spoof By VIKRAM KARVE  

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-jaundice-phobia.html

THE “JAUNDICED” NAVY

Sometime in the late 1970’s – there was an outbreak of jaundice in Mumbai (then known as Bombay).

Jaundice is quite a debilitating disease.

The rampant spread of Jaundice started badly affecting the Navy.

Soon  this outbreak of Jaundice assumed almost epidemic proportions.

Large numbers of Naval Officers and Sailors on ships were getting afflicted by the dreaded disease Jaundice.

Special “Jaundice Wards” were opened in the Naval Hospital.

Some ships were down to half-strength.

The Navy had become “Jaundiced”  nice and proper.

WHY SAILORS WERE SCARED OF JAUNDICE

A bout of Jaundice meant at least two or three weeks in Hospital till your Bilirubin levels came down.

This was followed by a month of sick leave at home – then back to hospital for downgrading of medical fitness level – and re-categorization of medical category.

And – finally – the worst consequence of jaundice – “NO ALCOHOL” for at least 6 months.

More than the illness due to jaundice – this fear of total abstinence – the prospect of having to spend 6 months without a drop of alcohol after a bout of jaundice – was most scary for sailors.

This fear resulted in a drinking spree.

Everyone was mortified of getting jaundice – especially the hard drinking lovers of Bacchus.

Today – it may seem laughable – but in those morbid days – the thinking was – if you cannot drink alcohol after you get jaundice – you might as well “top up” before you got jaundice.

So – on ships – every Naval Officer was downing peg after peg – consuming enormous amounts of alcohol every evening – as if it was the last day of his life.

It was the same with sailors – who were drinking away to glory in Sailors’ Home.

It was the last opportunity to drink to your heart’s content – till the dreaded scourge of jaundice got hold of you in its clutches.

So – you could see Ships’ Wardrooms full of Officers on Drinking Binges till they passed out dead drunk.

And – Sailors were drinking away in Sailors’ Home – till they fell into drunken stupor.

Everyone was drinking away as if it was their last drinking day – before they were struck down by jaundice and carted away to hospital – followed by many months of ban on alcohol.

The biggest joke that was most of these heavy drinkers did not get affected by jaundice  but they landed up becoming “alcohol dependent” instead.

The “powers-that-be” panicked at the increasing number of jaundice cases heading for hospitalization every day and the consequent depletion of crew on ships.

Force levels were rapidly falling in the “Jaundiced Navy”.

It was a precarious situation – and if this jaundice induced exodus continued – there would be no officers and sailors left to man the ships.

So – it was decided to take some drastic measures.

The first anti-jaundice measure was the promulgation of “Jaundice Orders”

JAUNDICE ORDERS

The “powers-that-be” thought that the reason for this jaundice epidemic was because Naval Officers and Sailors were eating unhygienic jaundice-infected food outside in Mumbai City when they went ashore on liberty.

So – Two “Jaundice Orders” were promulgated:

  1. All Food Joints/Restaurants/Eateries/Cafes in Mumbai were declared “out of bounds” for Navy Officers and Sailors.
  1. Shore Leave (Liberty) would now be in Uniform till further orders.

(Yes – all Officers and Sailors had to wear White Uniform Dress No. 8A at all times – even when on liberty ashore in civilian areas)

The reason for Order No. 2 (on wearing uniforms in civilian areas) was to ensure that any defaulter Officer or Sailor entering a restaurant or eating outside was instantly spotted by the Navy Shore Patrol to be rounded up and put on charge.

Yes – in order to implement this preventive measure – special “jaundice shore patrols” were sent out on the streets of Mumbai – especially to those areas and food joints frequented by navy sailors.

JAUNDICE SHORE PATROL IN ACTION

On the very first day – a hilarious incident occurred involving the “jaundice shore patrol” from our ship .

The Fleet Commander personally spotted the “jaundice shore patrol” from our ship drinking “sugarcane juice” at a most unhygienic sugarcane juice stall right opposite the Naval Dockyard Lion Gate.

The smartly dressed “Jaundice Shore Patrol” comprising 2 sailors was resplendent full dress Navy 8A white uniform with batons and brassard armlets.

The 2 sailors comprising the “Jaundice Shore Patrol” were promptly arrested by the Naval Police and handed over to the ship for necessary disciplinary action.

On being questioned – the shamefaced sailors pleaded that they had heard that “drinking sugarcane juice prevented jaundice”.

So – the “jaundice shore patrol” sailors had decided to fortify themselves with “sugarcane juice” – before they headed for patrolling the jaundice-infected areas.

Since there was a severe shortage of sailors (with half the sailors admitted in hospital with jaundice) – the wayward shore patrol was not punished severely – but the 2 sailors were let off with a warning – and awarded a few extra shore patrol duties as punishment.

The next evening – instead of “sugarcane juice” at the roadside stall – the “jaundice shore patrol” was found drinking “Rum” in the Sailors’ Home at Cooperage.

But then – the Sailors’ Home was not “out of bounds”.

Maybe – like us Officers – the “fear of jaundice” was driving them to drink alcohol to their heart’s content.

Yes – it seemed that – like us Officers – “Jaundice Phobia” was affecting Sailors too.

So – we looked the other way.

“BREAKING BOUNDS” FOR EATING OUT 

(JAUNDICE AND BANANA SPLIT ICE CREAM)

After a few days – we officers were fed up of eating the wardroom food on board the ship.

So – we decided to venture out to enjoy the culinary delights the city of Mumbai had to offer.

Parading smartly in white Navy uniform of the streets of Mumbai was unthinkable – so we adopted a simple modus operandi.

We carried a bag containing civilian clothes with us as we crossed the gangway in Navy uniform and stepped ashore.

And – we smartly walked out of the Naval Dockyard Lion Gate wearing spotless white Navy uniform.

Then – we headed to the nearby Jehangir Art Gallery in Kalaghoda.

Here – we would enter the well-appointed washrooms – and change from uniform to civilian clothes.

(As I told you – we carried “air-bags” for carrying our clothes – first “civvies” – then 8A white uniform)

Then – in our civilian clothes – hoping that shore patrols would not recognize us – we would venture out to enjoy the foodie delights that Mumbai had to offer.

On the way back we would change back from civilian clothes into uniform using the change-rooms at the Taj – or some suitable hotel – and return back to our ships smartly dressed in white Navy 8A uniform.

We successfully did this for a few days.

One evening – after a movie at Eros – followed by a hearty meal at Gaylord Restaurant in Churchgate – we were enjoying a stroll on Marine Drive.

After a refreshing stroll in the sea breeze on Marine Drive admiring the “flora and fauna” – we decided to end the day with some delicious Ice Cream at our favourite “Yankee Doodle Ice Cream Parlour” on Marine Drive.

Our plan was that – after enjoying our ice cream – we would use the change-rooms of the adjoining Natraj Hotel to change back into 8A uniform which we were carrying in our bags – and then – we would walk back in uniform to our ship.

My friends wanted to eat “Ice Cream Cones”.

Being an insatiable “Foodie” – I wanted to eat something more substantial.

So – I ordered the “Signature Dish” of “Yankee Doodle Ice Cream Parlour” – the inimitable “Yankee Doodle Banana Split”.

“Yankee Doodle Banana Split” consisted of three huge scoops of of ice-cream (flavours of your choice) – which were placed on a sweetened split banana – and topped up with yummy fruits and nuts – and then embellished with heavenly sweet creamy sauces.

This inimitable “Yankee Doodle Banana Split” ice cream was prepared at a special counter – and – it took some time to be assembled.

When my “Banana Split” ice cream was ready – I picked up the dish – and – I looked around for my shipmates.

But – I could not see them anywhere.

Maybe – they were taking a walk on Marine Drive – licking their Ice Cream Cones – while watching pretty young things.

I decided to focus on my magnificent “Banana Split” Ice Cream.

As I was about to dig into my delicious looking Ice Cream – I noticed that – standing bang in front of me – was our redoubtable Captain.

At first – I was terrified.

I had been caught red-handed at an “out of bounds” place – and that too – wearing civilian clothes when I should have been in uniform.

I looked at my Captain.

He too was dressed in civilian clothes.

Then – I saw that he too was eating an Ice Cream – a “Chocolate Sundae”.

And – next to our Captain – stood his wife – relishing a “Mixed Fruit Sundae” Ice Cream.

I wished our Captain – and his wife – they smiled back.

We talked – but the conversation was strictly restricted to the topic of Ice Cream – and we discussed the various exotic Ice Cream flavours you got all over Mumbai.

On seeing the Captain – the other officers had disappeared and melted into the darkness.

They surfaced only when the Captain and his wife had left “Yankee Doodle Ice Cream Parlour”.

They anxiously asked me if the Captain had seen them – and I assured them that he had not seen them and only I was “up the gum tree”.

Next morning – when I saluted the Captain – he still had his formidable demeanor – but – there was a slight twinkle in his eyes.

“JAUNDICE PHOBIA” CAUSES “ALCOHOL DEPENDENCE”

I do not know whether it is true or not – but someone told me later – that – the outbreak of jaundice was due to contaminated drinking water – as a result of leaky sewage lines and cracked porous water pipes – and it was not due to infected food – which was initially suspected to be the cause of the jaundice epidemic.

And yes – I was lucky not to get jaundice during that epidemic.

But – the jaundice epidemic had a curious side-effect on me.

Thanks to the Jaundice Epidemic – like most Officers and Sailors in the Western Fleet – I too was overcome by “Jaundice Phobia.

Yes – since the “fear of jaundice” had made me drink to my heart’s content – I ended up becoming “alcohol dependent” for sure.

Ha Ha – like many other fellow Naval Officers of the Western Fleet who survived the dreadful “Jaundice Epidemic” – “Jaundice Phobia” or “Fear of Jaundice” resulted in me drinking huge quantities of Whisky or Rum – “full to the gills” – every evening – and – this made me “Alcohol Dependent” for sure.

By the way – it took me 25 years to become “Temperate” again…!!!

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-jaundice-phobia.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This story is a revised version of my blog post BREAKING BOUNDS – JAUNDICE AND ICE CREAM posted in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve Blog on Sunday, January 12, 2014 – Posted by me Vikram Karve at 1/12/2014 11:58:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/01/humor-in-uniform-breaking-bounds.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/03/humor-in-uniform-jaundiced-navy.html and   http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/how-i-became-alcohol-dependent-memories.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/09/humor-in-uniform-jaundice-orders.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/humor-in-uniform-jaundice-phobia.html etc

“Politics” in Uniform – Humor – Story from my Navy Days

March 10, 2017

“Politics” in Uniform 

The “election season” reminds me of this story from my Navy Days.

So – Dear Reader – here is some “political” humor in uniform…

“POLITICS” IN THE WARDROOM

Unforgettable Vignettes of my Glorious Navy Days

A Spoof By Vikram Karve 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-politics-in-wardroom.html

WARDROOM ETIQUETTE – TABOO TOPICS

When I joined the Navy – I was told that certain things were not to be discussed in the Wardroom (Navy Officers’ Mess).

Firstly – Officers should not “talk shop” (about work) in the Wardroom.

Secondly – Three Topics were considered “Taboo” in a Navy Wardroom:

  1. Religion
  1. Politics
  1. Women

I am sure the same was true for Army and Air Force Officers’ Messes as well – you were not supposed to talk “shop” – and you were not supposed to discuss religion, politics or women in a wardroom or officers’ mess.

But this was all in theory.

In actual fact – I found that things were vastly different.

On my ship – and in other ships and shore establishments too – officers invariably “talked shop” in the wardroom – even during PLDs and Parties.

Of the three taboo topics – the first – Religion – was never discussed (at least in my ship’s wardroom).

On my ship – with so many young strapping testosterone charged bachelors around – the third topic (women) was always a hot topic of discussion.

Our ship was based in Mumbai (then called Bombay) – and those were laissez faire halcyon days in the Navy.

Guests were freely allowed on ships – in the evenings and on holidays – and many “smart” libidinous bachelors brought girl friends (or “fleet auxiliaries”) on board ships – for an amorous drink in the wardroom – or a “quickie” in their cabins – and these “peccadilloes” were hotly discussed with great excitement by the envious sex-starved puritans – who were secretly yearning for female company.

POLITICS IN THE WARDROOM

Towards the end of 1979 – General Elections were announced to be held in the first week of January 1980 – and suddenly – everyone started discussing politics.

I was surprised to see the political awareness – and keen interest in the elections – among Naval Officers.

Of course – this may have been due to the political instability due to the disastrous performance of two successive shaky coalition governments since 1977 – which kept on splitting – till they collapsed – and elections were announced after 2 years.

Or maybe – this interest in politics was because we had many “politically connected” officers on board.

The father of one of the young officers was a veteran politician – and he was contesting this election too.

The brother of another officer was a politician too – and he was also contesting elections – albeit from a different party.

Many other officers evinced keen interest in current affairs and held divergent political views – which led to lively discussions.

Yes – politics was definitely discussed in the wardroom.

However – there was one officer who showed absolutely no interest in the proceedings – he seemed totally “apolitical”.

He came to the wardroom to drink – in fact – it seemed that he had joined the Navy to drink – and – like some people who “live to eat” – this officer “lived to drink”.

While everyone was engrossed in animated “political discussions” – he would sit disinterestedly in the corner downing peg after peg of Scotch whisky.

Voting day was in the first week of the coming January – and – as the elections approached – some of us got our postal ballots – and some did not.

Outside – in the civilian world – political temperatures were getting heated up – and inside the wardroom too – there took place rousing political discussions – stimulated by the imbibing of enormous amounts of alcohol.

Of course – our “apolitical” friend kept aloof.

The “apolitical” officer remained indifferent to the political goings on – despite imbibing even greater amounts of alcohol than the “political” officers.

At last – voting took place.

The next day – counting of votes began.

(Those days – they had single day elections – and – votes were counting the next day)

Since they used paper ballots those days – the counting process was slow – and – the early trends started coming in only by late afternoon – and – it was only in the late evening that the first hints of the political picture would start to emerge.

In the evening – carrying our whisky-topped hip-flasks in our pockets – we trooped down to the Indian Express Building at Nariman Point – to watch the election results unfold.

Late at night – it became clear that Indira Gandhi was heading for a massive victory.

(Her party – Congress (I) – would win 353 of the 542 seats)

Most of us were happy – because now – there would be a stable government for 5 years.

The two “politically connected” officers were happy too – their relatives – father and brother respectively – both had won in the elections too.

A celebration was called for – so the wardroom bar was opened the moment we returned back onboard at around midnight.

The “whiff” of the wardroom bar being opened mysteriously reached the “apolitical” officer sleeping in his cabin – and he joined us in a jiffy – topping up his glass with whisky to celebrate.

“There was so much political excitement going on during these elections – and you were totally disinterested in the elections…” someone said to the “apolitical” officer.

“Actually I was worried…” he said.

“Worried…? You were worried…?” we asked, puzzled.

The “apolitical” officer took a gulp of whisky – and he said to us:

“I was worried about my booze. The previous guy was a prohibitionist – he even wanted to stop booze in the defence services and give dry fruits in lieu of liquor. I am happy he has lost the elections – at least the new guys who have won will let booze flow freely. Come on. Cheers. Drink up. The next round of drinks is on me…”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-politics-in-wardroom.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This Story was written by me 3 years ago in the year 2014 and earlier Posted Online by me Vikram Karve in this blog at 4/13/2014 03:21:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/04/humor-in-uniform-wardroom-politics.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/05/humor-in-uniform-politics-in-uniform.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/10/politics-in-uniform.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/04/humor-in-uniform-apolitical-officer.html

Why “M” Joined the Navy – Humor in Uniform

March 10, 2017

Humor in Uniform 

In a few days – it is the colourful festival of Holi.

Holi is associated with Humor.

Here is a “Memoir” from my Navy Days – apt for the ocassion…

WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY…?

A Fictional Spoof By Vikram Karve  

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-my-coursemate-m.html

WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY…? 

The moment we reported to Naval Academy (NAVAC) Cochin (Kochi) – we were asked the quintessential question:

“Why did you join the Navy…?”

Most of us gave unimaginative stereotyped answers which everyone had heard before.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was different.

Sub Lieutenant “M” said:

“I joined the Navy to drink good Booze…”

 

(Those days – the Junior-most Officer Rank in the Army/Navy/Air Force was Second Lieutenant (2nd/Lt), Acting Sub Lieutenant (Ag Sub Lt) and Pilot Officer (P/O)respectively.

In the year 2006 – thanks to the AVS Cadre Review Bonanza – this junior-most officer rank was abolished – and Defence Officers were commissioned directly as Lieutenants/Sub Lieutenants/Flying Officers in the Army/Navy/Air Force respectively – which were the ranks above the erstwhile “2nd Lt”/“Ag Sub Lt”/“Pilot Officer” – the lowest officer ranks earlier

Dear Reader: After this digression – let me start telling you the story again):

 

The moment we reported to Naval Academy (NAVAC) Cochin (Kochi) – we were asked the quintessential question:

“Why did you join the Navy…?”

Most of us gave unimaginative stereotyped answers which everyone had heard before.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was different.

Sub Lieutenant “M” said:

“I joined the Navy to drink good Booze…”

“What did you say…?” the Officer-in-charge bellowed at Acting Sub Lieutenant “M”

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” nonchalantly said: “Sir – I said that I joined the Navy to drink good booze.” 

The Officer-in-charge and Staff Officers of NAVAC thought “M” was joking – but “M” was dead serious – he had indeed joined the Navy to drink.

We were “University Entry Officers”.

We were selected via the “University Entry Scheme” (UES) – an “Earn while you Learn” Recruitment Scheme – which was highly successful in attracting the best Engineering Talent.

Under the UES – Navy Selection Teams visited premier Engineering Colleges/IITs/RECs (NITs) at the beginning of our pre-final year – and they interviewed and shortlisted suitable candidates – who had to appear before a Services Selection Board (SSB) at Allahabad, Bhopal or Bangalore.

Those selected by the SSB – and found medically fit – were offered a commission as an Officer in the Navy from the beginning of their final year of Engineering.

So – we were Naval Officers drawing handsome pay during our final year of Engineering – owing to which we enjoyed great prestige and relative affluence as compared to our fellow student classmates.

On completion of our B. Tech. / BE courses – we joined the Naval Academy for Basic and Divisional (B&D) Training.

We had heard that during his final year in Engineering College – “M” had taken his appointment letter (as an officer in the Indian Navy) to a Military Unit near his college – and he had managed to get a Liquor Card from the Unit CSD Canteen which enabled him to enjoy his full “Booze Quota” of “Military Rum” during his final year of Engineering.

Coming back to the Naval Academy – on our very first “liberty” a month after joining training – while we headed for Movie Halls and Restaurants in Ernakulam – Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” rushed to nearest Bar to get gloriously drunk.

In fact – “M” enjoyed himself so much – downing peg after peg of Rum – to “cure” his “thirst” – that he passed out ‘dead drunk’ in the Bar.

Luckily for “M” – a ‘Good Samaritan’ saw his Navy ID Card.

The ‘Good Samaritan’ carried the blissfully ‘comatose’ “M” into his car – then he drove down to the Naval Base – and deposited “M” outside the OOD’s Office.

This episode resulted in some heavy “punishments” and “restrictions” for “M” – including cancellation of his ‘liberty’ (‘shore leave’ in Navy Jargon) till the end of the term.

The “powers-that-be” realized that “M” meant business – as far as his reason for joining the Navy was concerned.

However – “M” was not to be deterred from his aim – and – within a few days – he used his initiative to get access to booze.

As I told you – we were already Officers when we joined the Naval Academy (NAVAC) – and we were drawing full pay and allowances.

So – we dined in the Officers’ Wardroom – the Southern Naval Area (SNA) Wardroom Officers Mess.

[Yes – those days it was a Naval Area – not a Command. A few years later – SNA was upgraded to SNC (Southern Naval Command)]

Of course – since we were not allowed to wear stripes during training – we dined in a separate “Gun Room” – but – we were full-fledged members of the Wardroom Officers Mess.

There were no “free” authorized rations those days – so – as officers – we paid for our food – unlike cadets – who dined in cadet dining halls in the Academy and got free food.

During Basic Training – we were not officially allowed to drink liquor – but we were permitted to smoke – and we bought our cigarettes at the Wardroom Bar by signing chits – since we were full-fledged members of the Wardroom Mess.

On working day evenings – we dined in “Red Sea Rig” uniform.

On Weekends/Sundays/Holidays – we were permitted to wear “civvies”.

One Sunday evening – while we were buying cigarettes at the Bar – “M” asked the steward for a Large Peg of Rum – and – with confident flourish – “M” signed a chit for the Rum.

The steward served “M” a Large Peg of Rum.

It was as simple as that.

From then on – every evening – “M” would sneak out from his cabin during the pre-dinner “Study Hour” – and head for the Wardroom Bar for his daily quota of Rum – and then – after quickly downing a few pegs of Rum “down-the-hatch” – “M” would  join us for dinner in the “Gun Room”.

Once our Basic Training was over – and we passed out of the Naval Academy – we could officially drink all the liquor we wanted to – especially top class premium “duty free” foreign liquor on ships.

For “M” – the choicest “duty free” foreign liquor was a bonanza – the very raison d’être – for which he had joined the Navy.

EPILOGUE

“M” enjoyed his bachelor days “soaked in alcohol” – imbibing all the booze he could lay his hands on.

For “M” – it was the happiest time of his life – and the Navy was the best thing that had happened to him.

Sadly – one day – “M” got married.

And – even worse – “M” got a “tough cookie” wife – who cracked down heavily on his drinking.

In fact – his redoubtable wife banned alcohol in the house – and she kept an “eagle eye” on her husband at parties.

So – “M” would surreptitiously gulp a few quick “down-the-hatch” pegs of Rum whenever he got an opportunity – followed by some cardamom (Elaichi) to mask the smell of alcohol.

A few years later – “M” landed up as a “student” for an advanced specialization course at IAT Girinagar Pune – where I was his instructor.

Every evening – “M” would tell his wife that he wanted to “clear some doubts” about the subject I was teaching him – and he would land up in my house.

Of course – there were no “doubts” he wanted cleared.

“M” would have 3 quick pegs of Rum at my place.

And then – “M” would head home feeling “high” and “happy”.

When his wife questioned him on his “happy” state – “M” would plead that I was his instructor – and I had offered him a drink.

“M” told his wife I would get annoyed if he refused my generous offer of a drink – and this may affect his grades in the course.

M’s wife blamed me for “spoiling” her husband.

One day – M’s wife had her revenge on me.

On Holi evening – when I was taking a long evening walk to sober up from the boisterous morning celebrations – M’s wife waved out to me and she called me to her lawn.

“M” was probably sleeping inside.

While celebrating Holi with full gusto – “M” had “passed out” in the morning after surreptitiously downing huge amounts of a deadly cocktail of  “Rum and Beer”

(“M” had taken advantage of the fact that his “beloved” wife had magnanimously permitted “M” to have one bottle of Beer – as a special case for the occasion of Holi).

M’s wife looked charmingly at me.

“You drank too much in the morning. I will give you something really good to cure your hangover…” she said with a tender smile.

I accepted her kind invitation.

M’s wife asked me to sit on a chair in the verandah – and then – she went inside.

After some time – M’s wife emerged from kitchen – and – with an innocent smile – she served me a glass of Khus “Sherbet”.

What I did not know was that M’s wife had laced the cool green Khus “Sherbet” with a heavy dose of “Bhang”.

Yes – she had spiked the cool drink with deadly intoxicating Bhang (cannabis)

M’s wife had slipped me a potent “Mickey Finn”.

And – I naively drank the “Bhang” spiked cool drink.

What happened thereafter…?

Well – that’s another story…

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This is a fictional spoof, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-my-coursemate-m.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Updated, Abridged and Revised Version of My Story WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY posted online by me on November 16, 2015 in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/11/why-did-you-join-navy-humor-in-uniform.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/humor-in-uniform-why-acting-sub.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/humor-in-uniform-why-did-you-join-navy.html

Dating in a Nutshell

March 8, 2017

DATING – in a Nutshell

Romantic Musings – A Spoof By VIKRAM KARVE 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/can-married-people-date.html

 WHAT IS DATING…?

A “girl” asked me out on a date.

Since – I am “out of date” on “dating” – I decided to re-check the meaning of the term “dating”.

So – I “Googled” the word “Dating” – and the top hit was the Wikipedia Page on “Dating”.

Here is the “definition” of “Dating” from the Wikipedia Page on Dating(url: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating accessed on 07 March 2016):

Dating is a part of the human mating process  whereby  two people meet socially for companionship  beyond the level of friendship  or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. 

Later – there is an elaboration:

One of the main purposes of dating is for two or more people to evaluate one another’s suitability as a long term companion or spouse.

From the definition of “dating” above – I surmise that the principal objective of “dating” is “to assess the suitability of the ‘Dating Partner’ for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Wife/Husband”.

So – in the light of the definition of dating – I reflected on the “moot question”:

“Should I accept the girl’s dating proposal and go out on a date with her…?”

Well – let me ruminate on the two salient aspects of the “dating” definition:

  1. DATING FOR MARRIAGE

I am married.

In fact – I am “much married” for almost 35 years to the same wife.

And – I do not intend to divorce my wife and marry the “girl”.

Actually – even if I want to marry the “girl” – it may not be feasible – since my wife may not be very eager to divorce me.

So – why should I waste time and resources “assessing” the girl’s “suitability” as a “prospective wife” – when I know that marrying her is not possible.

Now – does the “girl” want to “date” me in order to assess my “suitability” as a “Prospective Husband”…?

Well – you will have to ask her that.

  1. DATING FOR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP

And – since I am married – as far as having an extra-marital “intimate relationship” is concerned – the less said the better.

CAN I GO ON A “DATE” WITH THE “GIRL”…?

As far as going on a “date” with the “girl” is concerned – for me – both objectives of “dating” don’t seem feasible to achieve.

I cannot marry the girl.

I am not inclined to have an “intimate relationship” with her.

So – with both options closed (“marriage” and “intimate relationship”) – sadly – for me – the pleasure of “dating” is ruled out.

CAN YOU TAKE YOUR SPOUSE ON A DATE…? 

Well – you may console me and say:

“Why don’t you take your wife out on a date…?”

Come on – don’t be crazy.

Do you want me to assess the suitability of my own wife for an “intimate relationship” (or as a “prospective wife”) after being married to her for almost 35 years…?

So – “dating” is ruled out for me – both inside marriage and outside marriage.

Yes – no “intra-marital” dating for me – and – no “extra-marital” dating for me.

In fact – in my entire life – I have never had the experience of “dating”.

I have had zero dates – “pre-marital”, “intra-marital” or “extra-marital” – zero dating life.

So – I am destined to a “dateless” life.

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY

So – since “dating” is ruled out for me – all I can do – is to wish my one and only “Better Half” – and – all my “girlfriends” – a very Happy Women’s Day.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/can-married-people-date.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a revised version on my story posted online earlier in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve Blog on March 8, 2016 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/dating-guide-should-i-go-on-date.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/09/dating-guide-what-is-dating.html

Story of a Feminist who believed in Gender Equality in Marriage

March 5, 2017

MY “FEMINIST” GIRLFRIEND

Short Fiction Story By Vikram Karve 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/12/my-feminist-girlfriend-love-story.html

THE “FEMINIST” WHO LOVED ME – a Romance by Vikram Karve 

Part 1 : MY FEMINIST GIRLFRIEND

“Hey – will you please pick me up from ‘XXX’ Bookstore on your way back from office…?” my wife said over the phone.

“Okay – but I can only come after 6 o’clock…” I said.

“No hurry – I am going for a book launch – it starts at 5:30 – it will go on till 6:30 at least…” she said.

I reached the bookstore around 6:15 in the evening.

There was quite a crowd for the book launch.

At the entrance of the bookstore – there was a big poster of the book being launched.

The title of the book was: GENDER EQUALITY IN MARRIAGE.

The moment I saw the photo of the author – my heart skipped a beat.

It was the ‘Feminist’ – my college classmate – Rita.

I walked to the book-launch area – and I quietly sat down on a vacant chair in the last row.

The ‘Feminist’ was speaking about her book – and as I expected – she was delivering a diatribe against men in general and the patriarchal system in particular.

I could see my wife in the first row – listening attentively – lapping up every word.

After finishing her tirade against the masculine gender – the ‘Feminist’ began waxing eloquent about marital abuse and domestic violence – and she exhorted women not to tolerate any dominating behaviour from their husbands – “there was no need for women to suffer an abusive marriage” she emphasized – and then she explained various legal remedies available to women who suffer abuse at the hands of their husbands.

At the end of her speech – after concluding her bitter rant against all men in general and husbands in particular – the ‘Feminist’ looked in my direction – and she gave me a smile of recognition.

Then – after her book was launched by a ‘VIP’ – the ‘Feminist’ was whisked away by the organizers to autograph copies of her book.

I walked to my wife – and I said to her: “Come on – let’s go.”

“How can we go now?” my wife protested.

“Why? The book launch is over?” I said.

“I want an autographed copy of her book…” my wife said.

“You want to buy this useless book…?”

“How can you call this book useless…?”

“Anyway – I just heard her bigoted views – I don’t want you to read such inflammatory books…?”

“Inflammatory..?”

“Yes – such provocative books will only spoil our marriage…”

“Now I know – you are one of those ‘MCP’ husbands she was talking about…”

“What nonsense…”

“Till now you have managed to subjugate me – but now – I will read what is written in the book – and I will teach you a lesson…” my wife said.

My wife joined the queue to get an autographed copy of the book.

I saw that the publishers had organized ‘high tea’ in the rear section of the bookstore where the book launch had taken place – so I walked there and poured myself a cup of tea – then I sat down on a table enjoying my tea.

After a few minutes – my wife came with a copy of the book in her hands – she was ecstatic as she showed me the autograph of the ‘Feminist’ – who had written my wife’s name with a message: “Wish you a ‘gender equal’ marriage”.

“See – she has already started corrupting you with her prejudiced views – even before you read the book,” I said to me wife.

“Hi Arun – may I join you,” a feminine voice said from above.

I recognized the voice at once – and I felt a tremor of discomfort.

I looked up at the ‘Feminist’ and said: “Oh – Hi Rita – of course – please join us.”

The ‘Feminist’ (Rita) pulled a chair and sat down to my left – with my wife to her left – opposite me.

I cannot describe the expression on my wife’s face – to put it mildly – she looked ‘amazed’.

The ‘Feminist’ looked at me and said: “So – Arun – ‘long time no see’ – I was quite surprised to see you here – sitting in the last row – listening to my talk…”

“Actually – I came to pick up my wife – she had come for your book launch…” I said.

“Oh – yes…” the ‘Feminist’ said looking at my wife.

Then – the ‘Feminist’ looked at me and said: “Arun – won’t you introduce your wife to me…?”

I introduced them.

My wife smiled at the ‘Feminist’ and asked her: “You know my husband…?”

“Of course I know him – we were classmates in college…” the ‘Feminist’ said.

“Really…?” my wife said, surprised.

“Of course – Arun and I had a real good time together in college – we were the best of friends – inseparable buddies – in fact – I even proposed to him…” the ‘Feminist’ said to my wife.

“You proposed marriage to Arun…?” my flabbergasted wife asked the ‘Feminist’.

“Of course – I wanted to marry Arun – but he turned down my marriage proposal – didn’t Arun tell you about me…?” the ‘Feminist’ said to my wife.

Suddenly – a man appeared – the man looked at the ‘Feminist’ – and he gestured towards his watch.

“Oh – I have to go for a TV interview…” the ‘Feminist’ said.

The ‘Feminist’ got up from her seat – she looked at my wife – and smiled: “It was so nice meeting you – do watch my interview at 8 about my book on TV…” the ‘Feminist’ said to my wife, mentioning a news channel.

Then – the ‘Feminist’ looked at me and said: “Arun – it was great meeting you after so many years…”

I smiled at her and said: “Yes – all the best…”

After the ‘Feminist’ had walked away – my wife asked me: “You didn’t even ask your girlfriend for her mobile number…”

“Why should I ask her for her mobile number…?” I said.

“Don’t you want to rekindle your ‘old flame’ – your first love…?” my wife teased.

“You shut up – it was nothing like that – we were just classmates…”

“Oh – but she proposed to you – she wanted to marry you – and the way she was looking at you – it is clear that she is still in love with you…”

“But – I was never in love with her…”

“Why…?”

“Because she is a ‘masculine’ woman…” I said.

“What nonsense – she looks quite ‘feminine’ to me – in fact – she is a very beautiful woman…” my wife said.

“I was not talking about her looks – it is about her strong views…” I said.

I wanted to end this conversation – so I got up from my chair – and said to my wife: “Let’s go home…”

In the car – my wife started off again about the ‘Feminist’.

“Why didn’t you marry her…?” my wife asked me.

“Because I was scared of her…”

“Scared?  You are twice her size…”

“I was not scared of her physically – I was scared of her views…”

“Why…”

“She is a man-hater…”

“Oh – she does not like men – surprising – she does not look ‘that type’…”

“What do you mean by ‘that type’…?”

“You know – ‘that type’ – there were a few girls in our college hostel – they did not like boys – they preferred… – you know what I mean – ‘that type’…?

“No – No – No – I did not mean it that way – she is not ‘that type’ – tell me – if she was ‘that type’ – would she have proposed marriage to me…?”

“Oh yes – you are right – that means she likes men…”

“On the contrary – she hates men…”

“But – she liked you…”

“She may have personally liked me – but in general – she is a ‘feminist’ – in fact – she is a ‘man hater’ – a ‘misandrist’ who is strongly prejudiced against men – and I did not want a wife who hates men…”

“I hate you…” my wife said.

Luckily – we reached home – and I was happy to end this rather irksome conversation.

Later – I saw that my wife was glued to the TV watching the ‘Feminist’ spew venom against the masculine gender in general – with a special diatribe against husbands in particular – as she discussed various aspects of her book.

At night – in bed – I observed my wife avidly reading her autographed copy of the book on ‘Gender Equality in Marriage’ written by the ‘Feminist’.

Part 2 : MY FEMINIST WIFE

After reading the book written by my ‘Feminist’ friend – from the next morning onwards – there was a visible change in my wife’s attitude and demeanor – my wife started asserting herself – putting into practice some the principles written in the Feminist’s book.

From time to time – my wife would watch the ‘Feminist’ on TV debates – and after every such debate – my wife would become more aggressive – demanding ‘gender equality’ in marriage – and the upshot was that I was soon reduced to being a “homemaker” (in addition to being the “breadwinner”).

A few weeks later – one evening – while we were shopping in a posh locality – my wife suddenly said: “Look Look – look there…”

I looked in the direction my wife was pointing.

Across the road – I saw the ‘Feminist’ – Rita.

Part 3 : THE FEMINIST WHO LOVED ME 

Yes – it was Rita – the ‘Feminist’.

Rita had got out of a car and was walking towards a building – and then – she entered the building.

“She probably lives here – let’s go and meet her…” my wife said excitedly.

“Are you crazy…? We can’t just barge in like that…” I protested.

“Of course you can – after all – you were her first love…” my wife said.

“Please stop it – I don’t want to meet her – as it is she has been a bad influence on you…” I said.

“Bad influence…?”

“Yes – just by reading her book – you have made my life hell. Just imagine what will happen if you actually start meeting her…? She has already ‘liberated’ you enough – I don’t want her to ‘liberate’ you any further. That is why I do not want you to meet her – she is a bad influence and will corrupt you totally…” I said.

“I am going…” my wife said – and she crossed the road – and walked towards the building.

I had no choice but to follow her.

My wife was looking at the board in the foyer.

Suddenly – she located the Feminist’s name and exclaimed: “Ah – there – ‘Rita ….’ – 3rd Floor – see – the flat is her name – looks like she did not get married…”

We went up by the lift – and rang the doorbell.

The door did not open for some time.

“Let’s go – no one is opening the door…” I said.

In response – my wife pressed the doorbell for a long time.

“Who is it…?” a male voice said from inside.

“Rita’s friend…” my wife said.

The door opened.

A man was standing in the door.

From the stink of whisky from his breath and body – and from his disheveled appearance – I realized that he was drunk.

“Let’s go…” I said to my wife.

But – my wife asked the man, “We have come to meet Rita – she lives here – doesn’t she…?”

The man said: “Yes – Rita lives here – I am Rita’s husband – but who are you…?”

I told the man my name.

The drunken man thought for a moment – and then exclaimed loudly: “Oh – so you are her lover boy – her college sweetheart – and you have started seeing her again – haven’t you? Reviving your ‘old flame’ – eh…?”

I was rendered speechless.

My wife gave me a deadly look.

I recovered my wits – and I said to the man: “That is not true – we were just classmates.”

“Well – I am not too sure – but – anyway – come in – let’s see what Rita has to say…” the man said.

Then – the man staggered drunkenly towards the bedroom shouting: “Rita…Rita – look who has come to see you…?”

We – my wife and I – stood in the doorway.

The drunken man went inside the bedroom.

And when he emerged – I saw that he was dragging Rita roughly by the arm.

I was shocked to see Rita.

Her face was swollen up and bruised – her lip was cut and bleeding – it was evident that Rita had been badly beaten up and brutally battered by her husband.

Her body – her clothes – had all the tell-tale signs of violent physical abuse.

“I gave her a nice thrashing just now…” the Rita’s husband boasted, “do you know why…? Do you know why…?”

And then – suddenly – Rita’s husband started slapping Rita on the face…

“You stop it – or I will call the police…” I shouted.

Then – I walked to the Rita’s husband – drew myself up to my full height – and said to him in a loud voice: “You leave her and go inside your bedroom – otherwise I will thrash the hell out of you and hand you over to the police…”

Sensing that I intended to carry out my threat – and realizing that in this situation – discretion was better than “valour” – the man let go of Rita’s arm – and walked away into the bedroom.

“Let’s take her to a doctor…” I said to my wife.

“No – No…” Rita protested, “I don’t want to go to a doctor – I will manage myself – you please go…”

“You look after her…” I said to my wife, “I will call the police…”

“Call the police…? Are you crazy…?” Rita shouted at me.

“Why…?” I asked.

“If you call the police – the whole world will come to know. Do you want me to make me a laughing-stock in society…? Rita said, with tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong with you…?” I said.

“Please – Please – Please just leave me alone and go away – this is my personal matter – and I do not want you meddling in my personal affairs – I do not want you to make matters worse – please – I beg you – please leave me alone and go away…” Rita desperately pleaded to me.

“But…? How can I leave you like this…?” I said.

“Don’t worry – these things keep happening – I have got used to it – everything will be okay in the morning – he will make up to me and things will be fine – you don’t worry – everything will be fine – but you please go – you please don’t make things worse for me – please leave me alone and go…” Rita begged me.

“I still feel…” I said.

“Arun – you promise me one thing…” Rita said.

“What…?”

“Promise me that you will not tell anyone about my personal life – if the world comes to know – my reputation will be ruined – please – I beg you – Arun – you promise me – you promise me that you will not tell anyone…” Rita said to me – her voice full of anxiety.

“I promise that I will not tell anybody about your personal life…” I said to Rita.

And then – with great reluctance – we left her house.

Later – at night – when we were in bed – my wife said to me: “Shall I say something…?”

“Of course. What do want to say…?” I asked my wife.

My wife said to me: “You should have married Rita – then all this tragedy would not have happened in her personal life.”

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/12/my-feminist-girlfriend-love-story.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a updated re-post of my story titled THE FEMINIST posted online earlier by me Vikram Karve on this blog on July 6, 2015 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/the-feminist.html  and revised and reposted at urls:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/08/blog-fiction-feminist.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/10/gender-equality-in-marriage-story-of.html   and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/12/feminist.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/the-feminist-who-loved-me.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/my-feminist-girlfriend-and-me-romance.html and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/03/11/my-feminist-girlfriend/  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/my-feminist-girlfriend-and-me-romance.html

How to Cure Resentment

February 28, 2017

IS IT EASY TO “FORGIVE AND FORGET”…? 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/is-it-easy-to-forgive-and-forget.html

How to Cure Resentment By Vikram Karve

Resentment means “bitter indignation” due to unjust, unfair or deceitful treatment.

Resentment (a sense of bitterness) occurs because of “perceived injustice” in the past.

Humans are sensitive emotional entities – so – for most of us – in many cases– perceptions matter more than facts.

Resentment is a bitter emotion that has its origins in the past.

The word “resentment” derives from two Latin words:

“re” (meaning “back”) + “sentire” (meaning “to feel”)

Thus – resentment is a feeling due to something that has happened in the past (going “back” in time).

Resentment develops because of your non-acceptance of something that has already happened in your past life.

Resentment comprises “emotional rehashing” – an attempt to “wipe out” the “perceived injustice” that has already happened – but – such attempts to eradicate the “wrongs” from your past life – they do not work – because – you are attempting to do the impossible – you cannot change your past.

Since the event which is causing resentment has already happened in the past – it cannot be undone – so – the “root cause” for resentment cannot be corrected – what has happened has happened – and – you cannot do anything about it.

Resentment is a way of consoling yourself that you have been wronged and unfairly treated – and – as a “victim of injustice” – you are “morally superior” to the person who has “wronged” you.

Resentment causes “self-pity” – and – you begin to picture yourself as a wronged person – a “victim” – who was destined to be unhappy.

Resentment can become an “emotional habit” – and – you may habitually start feeling that you are a continual “victim of injustice” – and – you will picture yourself as a “victimized person” who has been “wronged” in life.

Once you infected by the virus of resentment – in your daily life – you will begin to “search” for “injustices” – to feed your resentment even more.

I have observed that – resentful persons feel “good” only when they are miserable.

Resentment affects your “self-image” and “self-esteem”.

As long as you harbour resentment – it will be difficult for you to picture yourself as a self-confident happy person.

As I said – resentment has its origins in past events – and – you cannot change the past – the only way to deal with resentment is in the present – here and now.

In most cases – your resentment may be towards the person who has caused you the “injustice”.

In such cases – the most popular advice is to “forgive and forget”.

But – this is easier said than done.

Certain things/persons can be forgiven – and – these will not cause you resentment.

But – certain things/persons cannot be forgiven – and – these will cause you resentment.

It varies from person to person – and – those things that you cannot forgive – those “unforgivable” wrongs/injustices – they will cause resentment in you.

Yes – it is these “unforgivable” wrongs/injustices which create resentment in you.

Resentment means that you cannot “forgive and forget” that particular “unjust” thing or the person who has “wronged” you.

But – you can try and mitigate your resentment.

One practical way of mitigating resentment is to identify the “anchors” which cause you resentment – and then – avoiding those resentment-causing “anchors” (stimulus) – by distancing them from your life.

For example – if your resentment is due to a certain person who has “wronged” you – or has caused you “injustice” – you will feel resentful every time you see that person (though you may “fake” emotions of “forced geniality” for the sake of social graces).

If a certain person is responsible for your resentment – and – if that person is around you all the time – your resentment will worsen.

In such cases – if possible – it is best to remove that person from your life – or – distance yourself from the person responsible for your resentment.

The  “out of sight” = “out of mind”  dictum does work – and – once you are in a new environment – far away from the source of your resentment – you will experience that your resentment will dissipate.

In some cases – your resentment may be associated with an organization or place – so – the best solution is to quit the organization or relocate from that place.

Introspect – and – identify the entity that is causing you resentment – and then – try to distance yourself from that “toxic” entity.

Let me give you some hypothetical examples – apocryphal stories:

A man and a woman had an extramarital affair – they were both married to someone else.

There were two “victims” of the adulterous relationship – the respective spouses of the “perpetrators” of the adultery – the “cuckolded” husband of the unfaithful wife – and – the deceived wife of the unfaithful husband.

The deceived wife decided to “forgive and forget”.

She continued to live with her “unfaithful” husband – and – she continued with her married life – as if nothing had happened

The cuckolded husband could not “forgive” his unfaithful wife for her betrayal of “sacrosanct” marital trust.

He divorced his disloyal “adulterous” wife – and – he decided to “move on” in life.

Believing in the  “out of sight” = “out of mind”  dictum – he asked for a transfer – he physically relocated to a new place – then – took up a new job and migrated overseas to begin a new life abroad.

He broke contact with his ex-wife – and – he focused on enjoying his new life – and – his positive forward-looking attitude helped him mitigate the resentment caused by the sordid episode.

He delinked the “anchors” linked to his resentment.

He had overcome his resentment and there was no bitterness in him.

He had got over the sordid episode and he was happy with his new life.

Now – let us see what happened to the deceived wife of the adulterous husband.

Though outwardly – she had “forgiven” her unfaithful husband – in her heart – she still harboured great resentment against her husband for betraying her and having an extramarital affair.

When she came to know that her husband was involved in an extramarital affair – she was devastated by his infidelity – and – she wanted to divorce him.

However – her own parents/in-laws/family/relatives put great pressure on her to “reconcile” with her husband – her unfaithful husband begged forgiveness – and – everyone asked her to “forgive and forget” – and – to continue her marriage.

Though outwardly – it seemed that she had “forgiven and forgotten” – in her heart – she was still resentful of her husband for his act of adultery – and – you could discern that she was still harbouring resentment inside her.

Though she wore a “mask” and tried to “fake” happiness – there was a strange sadness in her eyes – she was no longer her earlier bubbly and gregarious self – from time to time – she disparaged her husband and reminded him of his “sin” – whenever she had an argument with him – and – it was clear that she despised her husband due to the resentment caused by his adulterous act of having an extramarital affair.

Despite her resentment towards her husband – she continued to live with him – and – this resentment had made her life miserable.

She was well qualified – she had a good job – and – she was financially independent – so – she could have divorced her husband – moved on in life – mitigated her resentment – and – become happy – just like her counterpart “victim” of the extramarital affair – the “cuckolded” husband.

But – she chose to continue living with her unfaithful husband – due to social pressure – and – under the false belief that “time is a great healer”.

Time is a great healer.

But – “Time” alone – may not heal resentment.

You may require “space” to mitigate your resentment.

Of course – as I said earlier – it varies from person to person.

Maybe – there are some “broadminded” spouses – who may not feel resentful – if their spouses had an extramarital affair – which – they may consider a “minor indiscretion”.

On the contrary – some persons may feel resentful for what most others may consider “small misdemeanours”.

Resentment can happen in all relationships – personal and professional.

Even at work – you may feel that you have been unfairly treated – or – feel a sense of mistrust – this may cause resentment towards your boss or the entire organization.

I remember – in the Navy (and Army, Air Force too) – many deserving officers get “passed over” for promotion due to the steep hierarchical pyramid unique to the military.

Hence – many officers get “superseded” at a relatively young age despite being professionally competent.

Some superseded officers “forgive and forget” – and – they continue the military life without any resentment – and – they remain happy and healthy.

Most superseded officers cannot “forgive and forget” – and – they feel a sense of resentment towards the organization (Army/Navy/Air Force/Defence Services).

Of these – some officers resign and quit the Navy/Army/AirForce – and – they “move on” to a second career in the civilian world.

By distancing themselves from their earlier organization/environment – these officers mitigate their resentment in due course.

However – some resentful officers remain in the Army/Navy/AirForce – and – they become more and more bitter and rancorous day by day.

These resentful officers not only make their own lives miserable due to their resentment – but they also spread unpleasantness and negativity in the environment – and generate “toxic” vibes which have a demoralizing effect on everyone in their vicinity.

Some superseded officers become “bloody-minded” as their resentment makes them spiteful and acrimonious.

Others wallow in “self-pity” as they feel that they are “victims” of injustice.

Some of these “self-pity” type superseded officers try to “drown their sorrows” in alcohol and slip into the abyss of alcoholism.

The become alcoholics, destroy their own health and ruin the lives of their families.

Resentment can make you miserable – and – in extremis – if you allow resentment to grow within you – your resentment can overwhelm you – and – even destroy you.

Remember – in your personal and professional life – you may feel that you have been cruelly “wronged” – or – gross “injustice” has been done to you.

Whenever such a thing happens – you must introspect.

If you can “forgive and forget” – it is fine

But – in case you cannot “forgive and forget” – it is best to move on – and try to mitigate your resentment.

Remember – each person is different.

Something that causes resentment in one person – that same thing may not cause resentment in someone else.

So – when something demoralizing happens – and if you feel that you have been “wronged” by someone and you are a “victim” of injustice – you should introspect – whether you can “forgive and forget” – or – whether it is “unforgivable” and will give rise to resentment in you.

And then – you can act accordingly.

Dear Reader – let me conclude by saying:

Once a relationship is contaminated by resentment – it is best to end the resentful relationship.

Yes – if you cannot “forgive and forget” – rather than let resentment make your life miserable and worsen your relationship – if feasible – isn’t it better to “break up” – rather than try to make a pretence of a “patch-up”…?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. These are my personal views. They may or may not work for everyone. Please exercise your own due diligence in your life.
  2. It is easy to preach, but difficult to practice what you preach. I try my best to practice what I preach (and preach what I practice) to the extent feasible.
  3. All stories in this blog area work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/is-it-easy-to-forgive-and-forget.html

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