Humor in Uniform – The Art of Naval Command

September 16, 2019

(This Story is an Excerpt from my under process Navy Novel Nobody’s Navy by Vikram Karve)

“NOBODY” BECOMES A “SOMEBODY”

Story from “NOBODY’S NAVY” By VIKRAM KARVE

How Sub Lieutenant NOBODY became a “Somebody”

A Fictional Spoof by Vikram Karve

Mumbai (Circa 1977)

Calm Blue Sea – Soft Cool Breeze – Sunset – 31st December 1977.

The lights of Mumbai twinkle in the distance as the city gets ready to ring in the New Year.

It was the happiest moment of his life.

Standing on the bridge-wings of the mighty warship INS Bijlee as she entered Mumbai harbour under his command – for the first time in his life – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody felt as if he was a “somebody”.

At this defining moment of his life – he realized the import of the words the distinguished Admiral had uttered while motivating him to join the Navy while he was studying at IIT.

“Son…” the recruiting Admiral had said, “The Navy is not just another job. The Navy is a way of life.”

Ship life seemed good.

Rank – Spit and Polish – and normal Naval Bullshit – all this did not matter much on a frontline combat warship like INS Bijlee.

Here – it was your professional performance that counted.

So – everyone was busy doing his job.

As long as you did your job well – you were given a free hand – and – after “secure” was piped – and the day’s work was over – you were free to do what you liked.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody realized that no one bothered him – since other officers were busy doing their own work and running their departments.

It was much better over here on a combat ship than the Naval Academy – where they treated you like dirt – and they tried to convert you into a brainless obedient robot.

And – it was certainly much better than the Naval Technical Officers’ College – which boasted of transforming bright young Engineering Graduates into “Technical Zombies”.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody had survived both these ordeals – and he had still retained his sanity.

It all happened so fast.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody had arrived in Mumbai Central Railway Station in the morning after a tiresome train journey.

There he was picked up in a ramshackle truck and dumped at the boat jetty.

There the ship’s boat was waiting for him.

After a rough journey on the choppy sea – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody was deposited alongside INS Bijlee anchored far out at sea.

It was almost 12 Noon when he clambered up the accommodation ladder to the quarterdeck of the ship with his bag hanging on his shoulder.

He duly saluted the Officer of the Day (OOD) and said:

“Sub-Lieutenant Nobody reporting for duty, Sir. Request permission to come on board…”

The ship was rolling and the ladder staggered so he held on to a stanchion.

The stanchion gave way – and Sub-Lieutenant Nobody lost his balance – and he crashed into the arms of the OOD – and both of them fell on the deck in a heap.

“Sorry, Sir…” Nobody said – as they gathered themselves up.

“You seem to be quite eager to join this ship. What did you say your name was…?” the OOD – a two striper Lieutenant asked with a smile.

“My name is “Nobody”…”

“NOBODY…?” the OOD asked, incredulous.

“Sir, it’s an anglicized version of …”

“Okay. Okay. You can tell me the story later…” the OOD interrupted, “just give me your appointment letter and genform…”

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody took his appointment letter and genform from his shirt pocket and gave them to the OOD.

The OOD looked at the documents.

“Okay, okay – so you’re the new Electrical Officer (LO)…? Welcome on board…” the OOD shook his hand and said, “I’m the TASO (Torpedo Anti-Submarine Officer). Today is “make and mend”. Captain is not on board. You can meet him tomorrow. The Duty Petty Officer will take you to your cabin. Shower up – change into uniform – and meet me in the wardroom in ten minutes.”

Ten minutes later – freshly shaved and bathed – dressed in sparkling white shorts and shirt – Dress No. 8 Naval uniform – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody entered the wardroom.

He saw the OOD – the TASO – wearing civvies – sitting at the Bar – sipping a glass of Beer.

“Ah…there you are. I am waiting for you…” the TASO said – the moment he saw the newly arrived Sub-Lieutenant Nobody.

The TASO swallowed his beer in one go – down the hatch.

The TASO gave the OOD’s lanyard with a bunch of keys to Sub-Lieutenant Nobody.

Then – the TASO said to Sub-Lieutenant Nobody:

“Sub-Lieutenant Nobody – you “hold the deck”. I’m off. Don’t bother to see me off. I’ll see you in the morning…”

And – with lightening speed – the TASO disappeared ashore on the liberty boat – even before Sub-Lieutenant Nobody could recover his wits.

“Congratulations…” a voice said from behind.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody turned around to see a Lieutenant Commander sitting on a sofa with a huge tankard of beer before him.

“Good morning, Sir…” Nobody said.

“It is already afternoon, my friend…” the Lieutenant Commander said extending his hand, “I’m “Schoolie” – the Ship’s Education Officer. You’re the new LO – aren’t you…?”

“Yes, Sir…” Nobody said.

“So you are the OOD – the de facto Commanding Officer of the ship now…”

“OOD…?” Sub-Lieutenant Nobody stammered – feeling bewildered and totally taken aback.

“You are holding the fort for TASO – aren’t you…? Smart bugger – that TASO. The horny bastard couldn’t even wait one day to screw his wife…”

Seeing the disorientated expression on Nobody’s face – Schoolie said:

“Pick up a glass of beer and come and sit here. I’ll tell you what to do…”

Then – with breathtaking simplicity – Schoolie elucidated the Art of Command:

“In the Navy – especially on a ship – command is very simple.

The Art of Command comprises just 3 words:

YES

NO

VERY GOOD

Remember these three key words – YES, NO and VERY GOOD.

From time to time – your duty staff will come and ask you something.

It’s a good idea to number their questions.

You just reply “YES’ – to the “odd numbered questions”.

You reply “NO” – to the “even numbered questions”.

And – if someone makes a “report” to you – you just say: “VERY GOOD”.

You got it…? Is it clear…?…”

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody let the wisdom sink in – and he said to Schoolie:

“Yes, Sir – I understood.

Odd numbered questions – I say ‘Yes’.

Even numbered questions – I say ‘No’.

And if someone makes a report – I just say ‘Very Good’.

Is that correct, Sir…?”

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody asked Schoolie.

“Correct. That – in a nutshell – is the Art of Naval Command…” Schoolie pronounced with finality.

Just then – the Duty Petty Officer entered.

The Duty Petty Officer saluted Sub-Lieutenant Nobody and said:

“Request permission to revert to 3 watches, Sir.”

First question – odd numbered question – so Nobody answered:

“Yes”

“Thank you, Sir…” the Duty Petty Officer saluted – and he went away quite happy that he could secure half his men from duty.

“Sir…” it was the duty ERA – who came a few minutes later– and he asked Sub-Lieutenant Nobody:

“Request permission to shut down boilers.”

Question Number Two – even numbered question – so Sub-Lieutenant Nobody answered:

“No”

The ERA nodded – looking quite perplexed – and he went away.

“See – you are learning fast…” Schoolie said to Sub-Lieutenant Nobody – as they sat for lunch.

While going ashore – Schoolie gave Nobody a parting shot of advice:

“Always remember that it is better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you are stupid – rather than to open it and remove all doubt…”

Schoolie, a post graduate, was an Education Officer – the lowest class of officer in the Navy.

Education Officers were treated like dirt – and they wasted their entire lives teaching basic mathematics to junior sailors who didn’t give a damn – or acting as lackeys to senior officers wives – helping them run so-called welfare activities – which were more of ego-massage – and less of welfare.

Once in a while – the brighter among them got posted to ships – where they had no work to do – except hang around in the wardroom doing nothing – and offering unsolicited advice to anyone who cared to listen.

Schoolie enjoyed doing talking to people – pontificating and giving advice on all matters under the sun – to anyone who cared to listen – especially to rookies – like Sub-Lieutenant Nobody – who latched on to each word he said.

It was indeed funny.

As far as the officer class was concerned – your status and position in the pecking order was inversely proportional to your academic qualifications.

The Matriculate “Cadet Entry” Seamen Officers were the prima donnas

The Engineering Graduate “Techies” – and the Graduate “Supply and Secretariat” (S&S) Pussers” – they were the middle rung.

And – the Post-Graduate “Schoolies” were at the rock bottom of the Navy status hierarchy.

The “Yeoman of Signals” woke up Sub-Lieutenant Nobody from his beer-induced siesta:

“It is Port Control, Sir…”

Sub-Lieutenant opened his eyes and tried to focus on the face of the “Yeoman of Signals”.

The “Yeoman of Signals” hesitantly asked the sleepy Sub-Lieutenant Nobody:

“Sir – they are asking if we want to come alongside.”

Nobody struggled to open his eyes and he thought about it.

He counted the questions he had been asked so far.

The First Question by the Duty Petty Officer regarding 3 Watch System – which he had answered “YES”

The Second Question by the Duty ERA regarding Shutting Down Boilers – which he had answered “NO”

One, Two, Three – this was the Third Question – odd numbered question – so Sub-Lieutenant Nobody answered confidently:

“YES”

“Thank you, Sir – I will signal them at once…” the delighted “Yeoman of Signals” said – and he rushed towards the bridge to make a signal to Port Control by Aldis Lamp.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody followed the Yeoman to the bridge wings and watched him exchange visual signals with port control – both lamps frantically flashing.

“Ballard Pier…?” port control asked.

It was the Fourth Question of the day – an even numbered question – so Sub-Lieutenant Nobody assertively said:

“NO”

“Barracks Wharf…?”

Fifth Question – an odd numbered question – so Sub-Lieutenant Nobody assertively said:

“YES”

And then – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody scrupulously followed the “Odd = YES and Even = NO” rule.

Odd Question = YES

Even Question = NO

“Cold move…?” port control asked – the Sixth Question – even numbered question.

“NO…” Nobody said decisively.

“Hot Move…?”

“YES”

Everyone on the bridge was praising Sub-Lieutenant Nobody’s foresight in not allowing the boilers to be shut down – otherwise the quick “hot move” would not have been possible at immediate notice – and they would have to spend the whole day waiting for the tug to carry out the laborious “cold move”.

“Should we call for a harbour pilot…?” the duty Midshipman asked.

It was even numbered question – so Sub-Lieutenant Nobody emphatically said:

“NO”

“Sir, should I prepare the pilotage plan…?”

“YES”

“Shall I chart course between sunk rock and oyster rock…?”

“NO”

“Around Middle Ground…?”

“YES”

“Will you be taking the “con”, Sir…?” the Midshipman asked.

“NO”

“Sir – will I have the “con”…?” the Midshipman asked.

“YES”

The Midshipman was filled with happiness and a sense of pride.

It was the first time that someone had shown so much confidence in him.

The Midshipman smartly saluted Sub-Lieutenant Nobody and said:

“I’ll report when ready, Sir.”

This was not a question.

This was a report.

So – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody remembered Schoolie’s advice and said:

“Very Good…”

There was no point hanging around the bridge and exposing his ignorance – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody thought to himself

So – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody told the Midshipman to take the ship alongside.

He then informed the Midshipman that he would be available in the wardroom for any advice.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody then went down to the wardroom– he summoned the bar steward – and ordered a double large scotch whisky and soda.

He desperately needed the alcohol fuelled “Dutch courage”.

Soon his spirits were high – fuelled by alcohol-inspired courage – and he was brimming with confidence.

From then on – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody religiously followed Schoolie’s “odd/even” command formula with great success – and soon – INS Bijlee was underway, sailing smoothly towards the Wharf.

As he sipped whisky in the wardroom – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody was quite clueless as he heard, on the main broadcast, the Midshipman give the conning orders:

“Stand-by Main Engines…Haul Anchor…Anchor off the bottom…Anchor Aweigh…Anchor Coming Home…Anchor Sighted and Clear…Wheel Amidships… Dead Slow…Starboard Ten…”

Everything moved like clockwork – everyone knew their jobs.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody also knew what to do.

In his mind – he had to keep a count of the questions they asked him.

And – he had to quickly determine the question number – odd or even – and answer according to Schoolie’s “Odd = YES and Even = NO” formula.

For every odd numbered question – he said: “Yes”.

For the even numbered question – he said: “No”.

And – from time to time – when someone made him a report – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody would wisely nod – and say: “Very Good”.

It worked.

Yes –the simple “YES” / “NO” / “VERY GOOD” command formula worked.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody strictly followed the formula – and everything went absolutely right.

The ship secured alongside perfectly.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody realized first-hand that the Art of Naval Command was indeed breathtaking in its simplicity.

“Should I announce liberty, Sir…?” asked the Duty Petty Officer hesitantly.

It was an odd numbered question – so Sub-Lieutenant Nobody said: “Yes”

The broad smile on the Petty Officer’s face and the smartness of his salute said it all.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody had mastered the Art of Naval Command.

The crew were happy to be secured alongside rather than tossing and turning at a faraway anchorage out at sea.

And now – thanks to Sub-Lieutenant Nobody – there would be liberty – and the ship’s crew would be able to go ashore to enjoy the delights of “Maximum City” after a long hard time at sea.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody became the hot topic of discussion below the deck in the crew messes.

Each and every sailor admired the guts and initiative of Sub-Lieutenant Nobody.

They were impressed by his prompt and clear decisive commands.

Despite being a non-seaman officer – he had brought the ship alongside by taking effective charge of the Midshipman.

Never before had such a thing happened.

Never before had they seen a greenhorn Sub-Lieutenant demonstrate so much confidence and guts on his first day on board a ship.

Anyone else would have hesitated, dithered – but here was a decisive officer.

“He is a natural leader” – they all said – with awe and in unison – about Sub-Lieutenant Nobody.

On his very first day on board this mighty warship – Sub-Lieutenant Nobody earned the admiration, respect and esteem of the crew of INS Bijlee.

The sailors were happy to have Sub-Lieutenant Nobody on board – and they showed it by their body language – especially in the way they saluted him.

Sub-Lieutenant Nobody’s chest swelled with pride.

Nobody had become a “Somebody”

(This is an Excerpt from my under process Navy Novel Nobody’s Navy by Vikram Karve)

To be continued …

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, pure fiction, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/stories-from-nobodys-navy-my-navy-novel.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Abridged and Updated Version of my two blog posts posted in June 2013

NOBODY’S NAVY at urls:

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/nobodys-navy-by-vikram-karve-my-naval.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/nobodys-navy-by-vikram-karve-my-naval.htmland http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/07/humor-in-uniform-nobody-becomes-somebody.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/11/humor-in-uniform-stealing-affections.html

and NOBODY BECOMES A SOMEBODY – LEARNING THE ART OF NAVAL COMMAND at url:

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/nobody-becomes-somebody-learning-art-of.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/11/officer-like-qualities-aka-olq-art-of.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/art-of-naval-command-humor-in-uniform-excerpt-from-novel-nobodys-navy-by-vikram-karve/ and https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/Nobody%E2%80%99s-Navy-%E2%80%93-My-Fictional-Spoof-on-Naval-Life and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/07/humor-in-uniform-nobody-becomes-somebody.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/12/22/humor-in-uniform-the-art-of-command-at-sea/ and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/nobody-becomes-somebody-learning-art-of.html

Humor in Uniform – Memories of a Foreign “Cruise”

September 16, 2019

Once we joined the Navy in the 1970’s – we realized that the recruitment slogan “Join the Navy and See the World” applied to the Merchant Navy – and not to the Indian Navy – which was a Military Navy.

In fact – due to “austerity measures” – even the so-called “cruises” to nearby countries had been curtailed.

However – things seem to much better now – and – we see news of Indian Navy Ships “Showing the Flag” all over the world.

But – in the 1970’s – during the time of this story – a foreign “cruise” was quite a rare event.

We were – therefore – delighted when our ship was sent on a foreign “cruise” to an island nation – an archipelago – in the Indian Ocean.

Here is a delightful “memoir” from that “cruise”…

“DUTY WATCH” ON “CRUISE”

Hilarious “Memoir” from My Wonderful Navy Days

A Fictional Spoof By Vikram Karve

PROLOGUE

Way back in the mid-1970’s – when we were trainees at the Naval Academy Cochin (Kochi) – we used to march down for our drill practice to the neighbouring Gunnery School Drill Square.

There would be GI’s (Gunnery Instructors) lurking everywhere – prowling at every nook and corner – waiting to yell at us for the smallest of infractions in parade drill.

Once – when the “guard” was being marched in for morning Divisions – a Chief GI bellowed at the top of his voice:

“Is that the “Guard”…?

Or – is it the bloody “Duty Watch”…?

March smartly – not like the “Duty Watch”…”

He implied that instead of marching smartly like a “guard” – we were walking in a rather slovenly manner like a “duty watch”.

While sailing – and in harbour too – the ship’s company is organized in “watches” to operate a ship 24/7.

Earlier it was the “2 Watch System” (1-in-2) – where half the sailors would be on duty – and the other half would take rest.

But now – it is mostly a “3 Watch System” (1-in-3) – where one-third of the crew are on duty and the remainder 2/3rd are off-duty and take rest.

The “watch” on duty is called the “Duty Watch”.

When a ship returns to harbour – everyone wants to rush ashore – the married sailors want to meet their families – and – the bachelors want to have a “good time” and “paint the town red”.

But – sadly – the “Duty Watch” has to remain on board ship on duty under the command of the OOD (Officer of the Day).

So – obviously – the Sailors in the “Duty Watch” are quite demoralized – and this is reflected in their bearing – as they move around in a rather dispirited manner.

This is what the Chief GI was implying when he yelled at us:

“March smartly – not like the ‘Duty Watch’…”

Now – I must tell you a rather amusing “Duty Watch” story which happened around 40 years ago – in the late 1970’s.

“DUTY WATCH” IN ACTION

Once we joined the Navy – we realized that the slogan “Join the Navy and See the World” applied to the Merchant Navy and not the Indian Navy.

In fact – due to ‘austerity measures’ – even the so-called “cruises” to nearby countries had been curtailed.

We were – therefore – delighted when our ship was sent on a “cruise” to an island nation – an archipelago – in the Indian Ocean.

The sea was quite rough – but then – as we approached the Equator – the sea became calm.

Soon – we crossed the Equator – and had the customary “Crossing the Line Ceremony” – which transformed us from “Pollywogs” into “Shellbacks”.

In due course – we reached our destination – and – the moment land was sighted – the first person to surface was the Ship’s Doctor – who had dived below into the sick-bay the moment we had left our base port Mumbai (then called Bombay).

Now – our Doctor was a “sea sick type” – and he used to hit the bunk the moment the sailing order was received.

But now – he was dressed in the best of “civvies” – a bright red T-Shirt – looking out for his “girlfriend” (his medical college classmate) – who was settled here – and was waiting for him on the jetty.

The moment we came alongside at 10 in the morning – the magnanimous Captain announced a “modified routine” – and “liberty” was piped – and soon – everyone was “ashore” – except the unlucky “Duty Watch” – who haplessly watched their shipmates proceed ashore to have a good time.

Of course – since it was ‘modified routine’ – rather than hold back 1/3rd of the sailors – besides the OOD (Officer of the Day) – a reduced ‘Duty Watch’ was held back on board – in order to let maximum sailors enjoy the ‘liberty’.

By noon – the officers and sailors – were spread all over the island – on the beaches, in the bars and pubs – enjoying themselves to the hilt.

The Captain was enjoying himself in the Yacht Club – where he had been invited for Lunch – by the crème de la crème of society.

At around 3:30 in the afternoon – after plenty of beer and a sumptuous lunch – the satiated Captain was contemplating going back to his ship for a “siesta” – but he was reminded that he was required to proceed to the sports stadium as the “Chief Guest” for the “friendly” football match between the visiting “ship’s company” and local club which was to begin at 4 o’clock in the evening.

“Oh, Yes…” he said – vaguely remembering the invitation for the football match – the message had been delivered to him the moment the ship had come alongside – and he had marked it down to his XO (Executive Officer) for “necessary action”.

What had happened was that – after marking the message to his XO for “necessary action” – the Captain went ashore – to the Yacht Club.

Within seconds – his XO followed him out – and soon – he was swimming away on the best beach – trying to woo the beauties in bikinis.

By the time the ‘Duty Signalman’ kept the message on the XO’s table in his cabin – the XO was already swimming on the beach amidst bikini-clad beauties – so obviously – the XO had not seen the message regarding the football match – which was still lying on his table.

Everyone had gone ashore.

The “Duty Watch” was hanging around morosely below decks in their messes.

Only the ‘Duty Quartermaster’ stood at the Gangway – looking downcast – as he imagined the delights his shipmates were enjoying ashore at that moment – while he was on duty – manning the ship’s gangway.

The OOD (Officer of the Day) was “drowning his sorrows” in the Wardroom.

At around 3 in the afternoon – a bus arrived on the jetty.

A ‘Liaison Officer’ alighted from the bus.

He walked up the gangway from the jetty to the ship – and he informed the Gangway Duty Quartermaster that he had come to pick-up the ‘football team’.

The Duty Quartermaster called up the Wardroom to inform the OOD about the arrival of the ‘Liaison Officer’ who had come to pick-up the ‘football team’.

“What bloody ‘football team’…?” the OOD muttered annoyingly.

“I don’t know, Sir…” the Quartermaster said.

“Okay – I am coming up…” the OOD said.

The OOD downed the remains of his beer – he put on his cap – and he walked up to the gangway.

After speaking to the ‘Liaison Officer’ – the OOD asked the Quartermaster:

“Do you know anything about this ‘football match’ business…?”

“No, Sir…” the Quartermaster said.

“Okay – call the ‘Duty Signalman’…” the OOD ordered.

The ‘Duty Signalman’ was duly piped for – and he arrived within a minute.

“Yes, Sir…” the ‘Duty Signalman’ said, “there was a message regarding a ‘football match’. The Captain marked it down to the XO – so – I left it on the XO’s table…”

“Bloody Hell – did the XO see the message…?” the OOD asked the ‘Duty Signalman’.

“Sir – I don’t know….”

“You buggers are really great…!!! Now – go on the double and get the message…” the OOD shouted.

The ‘Duty Signalman’ rushed to the XO’s cabin and got the message.

The OOD read the message.

The “friendly” football match between the Navy Ship and Local Football Club was scheduled at 4 PM.

The time now was 3:15 PM – it was just 45 minutes to go for the match.

The OOD did some quick thinking.

Recalling the ship’s company was not feasible – the sailors would be all over the island – enjoying themselves – living it up – having a good time – on the Beaches, in the Booze Bars, or gallivanting on the streets – in various states of drunkenness.

So – the OOD told the Quartermaster:

“I want the ‘Duty Watch’ assembled here immediately…”

The Quartermaster piped:

“Duty Watch Fall-in on Gangway”

Within minutes – the ‘Duty Watch’ had fallen-in on the gangway.

The OOD asked the Quartermaster and the Duty Engine Room Sailor to fall-out.

Around 15 ‘Duty Watch’ sailors remained on deck.

The OOD told the rest of the ‘Duty Watch’ sailors:

“You are proceeding to play a football match – 11 of you will play – the rest 4 of you will be ‘substitutes’ and sit on the bench. Now change into sports rig – and – do your best on the football field…”

With the ‘Duty Watch’ playing the Football Match against a talented local team – you can well imagine the result of the match.

Thankfully – the referee blew the whistle before the score could reach double figures.

The embarrassed Captain was the only one present from our ship – sitting with the spectators – and – cheering his Ship’s ‘Duty Watch’ Football Team – while the rest of his Officers and Sailors were painting the town red.

EPILOGUE

Next morning – the ‘Master-At-Arms’ informed the XO about the Football Match Fiasco.

Then – the ‘Master-At-Arms’ asked the XO:

“Sir – will there be “liberty” today…?”

The XO had come back to the ship in a most “happy” state in the wee hours of the morning – and he was nursing a terrible hangover.

The XO said to the ‘Master-At-Arms’:

“Bloody Hell – after yesterday’s fiasco – the Captain is sure to stop “liberty” today. You do one thing – why don’t you ask the Captain directly…?”

“Sir – I was told by the Quartermaster that the Captain has already gone ashore…” the Master-at-Arms said.

“The Captain has already gone ashore…? Okay – that means that he hasn’t stopped “liberty”. So – announce “liberty” as usual – let the sailors enjoy themselves…” the XO said happily.

Later – we met the Captain sunbathing on a beach.

We expected a tongue-lashing.

But – the Captain did not utter a single word about the “Duty Watch” Football Match Fiasco.

The Captain just said to us – that he was happy – to see that his ship’s officers and sailors were enjoying themselves on the “cruise”.

As far as the “Duty Watch” Football Match Fiasco was concerned – we realized that – the Captain’s silence was the most effective reprimand.

I learnt genuine Human Resource Management from this Captain – more than I learnt from the many Mananagement Courses I did later.

He knew how to run an “Happy Ship”.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/navy-memories-duty-watch-on-cruise.html

This is a revised repost of my story DUTY WATCH posted by me Vikram Karve online earlier in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/humor-in-uniform-duty-watch.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/humor-in-uniform-duty-watch.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/humor-in-uniform-duty-watch-in-action.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/11/humor-in-uniform-duty-watch-on-cruise.html



The “Literary” Cadets – Memories of Pune International Literary Festival (PILF)

September 15, 2019

This weekend – September 20, 2019 onwards – I am going to attend the Pune International Literary Festival

This evokes memories of the same event I have attended every year since inception 10 years ago.

Wonder if I will meet any “Literary” Cadets at the Literary Festival…

PROLOGUE

In Nautical Parlance “Shanghai” means to enroll or obtain (a sailor) for the crew of a ship by unscrupulous means, as by force or the use of liquor or drugs.

The practice of Shanghaiing dates back to the 1800s and the age of sailing ships. Ships needed crews – but working conditions on ships were so bad that crews were often obtained by trickery, bribery, force and outright kidnapping – or by getting a man drunk till he passed out or by drugging him to sleep – and then – abducting him on board the ship. When the man woke up after a few hours the ship would be sailing on the high seas – and the hapless “Shanghaied” sailor could do nothing except complete the voyage.

The nautical term “To Shanghai” may have its origins in view of the fact that Shanghai (China) was the most common destination of the ships for which such abducted sailors were forcibly conscripted by unscrupulous methods to collect crews for ships sailing from England/America to Shanghai which was considered the most long, risky and difficult sea voyage for which it was difficult to assemble crews since sailors were not willing to sail for such and long, hard and dangerous voyage.

The meaning of the has since become more generic and in broad terms the word “Shanghai” means to induce or compel someone to do something by trickery.

Story of “Literary” Cadets – “Shanghaied” and “Shipped” to the Literary Festival

Humor in Uniform at the Literary Festival

I am looking forward to attending PILF 2019 – the Pune International Literary Festival – scheduled on 20, 21 and 22 September 2019.

This evoked memories of a hilarious episode which happened at the Pune International Literary Festival four years ago in the year 2015 at PILF 2015.

Here is the story for you to read and have a laugh…

THE STORY OF THE LITERARY “FAUJIS” “SHANGHAIED AND SHIPPED” TO THE LITERARY FESTIVAL AND ORDERED” TO HAVE A “GOOD TIME”

A Spoof By Vikram Karve

MILITARY LIFE – A CRAZY AFFAIR

Many years ago – much before I joined the Navy – when I was in school – I read a book called CATCH-22

I am glad I read this inimitable war novel – which marvelously brought out the rather bizarre aspects of military life.

“Catch-22” helped me understand military life – and it saved me from going crazy during my long navy career.

While I was in the Navy – almost every moment – I saw similar characters – and parallel situations – like those in Catch-22.

Life in the military is a crazy affair – universally – and I marvel at the ingenious way in which Joseph Heller has portrayed this “craziness in uniform” in his all-time classic World War II novel “Catch-22”.

Now – even after my retirement – whenever I come across “Faujis” and “Faujans” – I realize that nothing much has changed in the military – and – in fact – things in the “Fauj” are going even crazier day-by-day.

Well – in Military Parlance – “Fauj” is a generic term for the Military – Army, Navy and Air Force – and hence – a “Fauji” is a Military Man – and a “Faujan” is a Military Wife.

(By the way – it was an Army Wife who introduced me to the term “Faujan”…).

Coming back to “Catch-22” – let me tell you about a hilarious vignette that I witnessed last year at the Pune International Literary Festival 2015 aka PILF 2015

“ORDERED” TO HAVE A “GOOD TIME”

But – before I do that – I shall briefly summon up an amusing anecdote from Chapter 3 of “Catch-22” – which has a remarkable similarity to the incident I am going to describe.

A “pen-pusher” Colonel from Rear-Headquarters comes to a frontline airbase – and the Colonel peremptorily orders Combat Officers to attend USO entertainment shows.

The Military Bureaucracy back home has organized these USO shows to raise the morale of the officers fighting the war.

However – the combat-weary officers are least interested in watching these boring USO shows.

The officers just want to survive the war – complete their required combat missions – and go home in one piece at the end of their tour of duty.

The only thing that will “raise the morale” of these warfighting officers is “orders shipping them home” – not USO entertainment shows.

So – in a “role reversal” – as per directives of higher-ups who have arranged these USO Troupes – the Colonel orders all Officers to attend these USO shows in full strength in order to “boost the morale of the artists” of the USO troupes.

The Colonel assembles all officers and gives them a “pep talk”.

Referring to the USO troupe artists – the Colonel says:

“…these people are your guests – they have traveled over three thousand miles to entertain you. How will they feel if nobody wants to go out and watch them…? What’s going to happen to their morale? … I want every one of you who isn’t sick enough to be in a hospital to go to that USO show right now and have a good time – and that’s an order

The Officers were not interested in attending the USO show.

But – they were being “ordered” by the Colonel to go to the USO show and have a “good time”

Yes – the Colonel was ordering his officers to “enjoy a boring event” – like the USO show – just to boost the morale of the artists.

Ha Ha Ha – what an irony:

Instead of the entertainers boosting the morale of officers – the officers are asked to boost the morale of the entertainers.

The Colonel was not concerned about the morale of his own troops.

He was more interested in the morale of the artists (who had come all the way to boost the morale of the soldiers by entertaining them by a USO show in which the troops were least interested).

Ha Ha – the demoralized Officers were being ordered to boost the “morale” of those who had come to raise the Officers’ morale.

It is true – in the Military – you can be “ordered” to have a “good time”.

Such incidents happened many times during my Navy days – when we were ordered to attend events which we were least interested in watching – just to boost the “morale” of those who had come to raise our morale.

It must have been in similar style that:

Cadets were ordered to go to the literary festival– to boost the “morale” of the Author – who had written a book – to boost the “morale” of the Cadets.

“SHANGHAIED AND SHIPPED” TO THE LITERARY FESTIVAL

As I told you earlier – 4 years ago – I attended the Pune International Literary Festival 2015 – a truly delightful event.

On the last day of the Literary Festival – a Sunday afternoon – there was a book launch of a “Military Novel” on Cadet Life.

The author is an accomplished creative writer – a successful novelist – and – in her earlier days – she was a prolific writer of short fiction – and I loved reading her stories published in many magazines.

Also – the author is a “Faujan” (Military Wife – or rather – a Veteran Military Wife).

So – who better than a “Fauji” Army General to launch her book (a “Literary” General).

Oh yes – for the book launch – along with the “Literary” General – there was a “Creative” Police Officer too – who regaled the audience with yarns from his police academy days.

Well – the book launch was at 3 PM in the afternoon – and we sat eagerly in the hall – waiting for the event to start.

Suddenly – we saw one of the organizers going berserk – a young girl – who frantically asked us to move forward as she screamed crazily:

“We need 300 chairs – the cadets are coming – the cadets are coming – 300 NDA cadets are coming…”

I am sure you know that “NDA” is the acronym for the elite “National Defence Academy” located at Khadakwasla near Pune.

The panicky shouts of the girl:

“NDA Cadets are coming – NDA Cadets are coming…”

this reminded me of the Hollywood Comedy Movie that I had seen 50 years ago in the 1960’s:

“The Russians Are Coming – The Russians Are Coming…”

I was flabbergasted.

NDA Cadets – in a Literary Festival – it was unbelievable.

Why on earth would NDA Cadets want to waste a precious Sunday afternoon at a Literary Festival – when they could enjoy their well-earned “liberty” – gallivanting on Main Street (MG Road) or Fergusson College (FC) Road – or “birdwatching” in a Mall – or watching a movie in a Multiplex…?

NDA Cadets on a Sunday afternoon at a Literary Festival…?

It was baffling.

There could be two possible explanations for this.

Version 1: (Highly Unlikely)

Nowadays – things have changed from yesteryear – and – NDA is full of “literary” cadets.

Now – these budding “litterateurs” were extremely keen to spend their Sunday afternoon liberty time attending a Literary Festival rather than having a good time hanging out in Pune or sleeping in their cabins.

Version 2: (Most Likely)

The “Literary” General had “desired” that he wanted to see a “house-full” – he wanted the entire hall packed with “captive” audience – when he launched the book.

So all Cadets enjoying their Sunday afternoon siesta in their cabins were rudely woken up – and – they were rounded up – and “shanghaied” into a bus – which brought them straight to the Literary Festival venue in time for the book launch – to fill up the hall with a “captive audience”

A witty young “faujan” sitting next to me commented that cadets were being given a taste of the “fauji” life they were going to face later as officers – when they would be on duty 24/7 – even in salubrious peacetime stations – and most of their Sundays would be ruined

We waited with trepidation for the onslaught of cadets – but there were no cadets visible even till 3:15 PM.

It seems that punctuality is no longer the hallmark of the defence services.

The organizers waited for some time – and – at 3:20 – they decided to start the event.

However – the “Literary” General and “Faujan” Author wanted the NDA Cadets to be present when they launched the book.

So – the “Faujan” Author spent time in “small talk” about how her “Fauji” husband had inspired her to write about Cadet Life.

It was quite clear who was the “protagonist” in her novel – maybe the “Fauji” husband wanted vicarious creative fulfilment – and he had asked his accomplished “Faujan” wife to write his “slice of life” story.

Around 15 minutes later – well past 3:30 PM – the NDA cadets arrived.

When asked why NDA Cadets had arrived more than 30 minutes late – we were told a “Tall Story” that the NDA bus had broken down midway.

Maybe the NDA bus had really broken down – but this was quite unlikely in view of the high standards of vehicle maintenance in the Military – especially NDA.

Or – more likely – it had taken a considerable amount of time to search and round up “volunteers” – to have a “good time” at the literary event – since most cadets must have gone into hiding – trying to escape from being “shanghaied” to the literary festival.

This second explanation seems more likely – since – instead of the much touted figure of 300 cadets – there were just around 50 “literary” cadets – who the NDA authorities had finally managed to “capture” and “shanghai” to the literary event.

(It is also possible that some cadets may have “escaped” to Pune City when the bus broke down midway on its journey to the literary festival).

The noisy cadets – dressed in the prescribed “mufti” civil uniform – soon settled down – and the book launch began in right earnest – and the book was released from its gift wrapping.

The “Faujan” Author spoke about her book – and her earlier one – both stories based on cadet life in the premier military academies – NDA and IMA.

The “Literary” General narrated “memoirs” of his NDA days.

Not to be left behind – the “Creative” Cop harked back to his Police Academy days.

It seemed that these reminiscences certainly struck a chord with the “captive” audience – who were probably “enjoying” similar experiences during cadet training at the academy.

Suddenly – the “Faujan” Author saw a “celebrated” novelist sitting in the audience.

The “Faujan” Author invited the “celebrated” writer on stage.

The “celebrated” Writer told us that – many years ago – he too had been selected for NDA by the Services Selection Board (SSB) – but – he was rejected on medical grounds.

The Writer lamented that had he been medically fit – he would have joined the “XXX” course of NDA – and – he wondered what rank would he have achieved had he joined the NDA.

A smart young man in the audience stood up and he said that he was from the same “XXX” course – and he informed us that was a Lieutenant Colonel.

The “Literary” General commented to the “Celebrated” Novelist that – maybe his getting medically rejected was a “blessing in disguise”.

I wonder what the “Literary” General implied…?

Was the “Literary” General saying that the Writer would not have been able to achieve much in the Army (“Fauj”)…?

Or – was the “Literary” General saying that – being a Published Author is much better – than being a run-of-the-mill “Fauji” Army Officer…?

The cadets were listening intently.

Or – at least – the cadets were making a pretence of attentiveness – because:

When you are a Cadet – you even learn to sleep with your eyes wide open.

The “Faujan” Author read out interesting excerpts from her novel on cadet life.

Then – there was a quiz for the cadets – and winners were given autographed copies of the book.

And – all of a sudden – the organizers announced that time was up – and the next event was about to begin in the same hall.

And so – the literary event ended.

All’s well that ends well.

THE EX-NDA NAVY VETERAN AUTHOR

I walked down to the lawns to attend another event of interest to “Faujis” – a book reading by a Retired Naval Officer who was the first Indian to circumnavigate the world solo under sail.

Yes – this redoubtable Navy Officer had achieved this awesome maritime conquest of sailing around the globe in a sailboat all alone – solo – and the Navy Commander had written a fascinating account of his adventures on the high seas during his solo circumnavigation of the earth in a boat.

I thought the NDA cadets would be interested in hearing the Navy Veteran narrate his nautical adventures first-hand from his book – especially since the Veteran Naval Officer was an ex-NDA cadet.

But – the NDA cadets were nowhere to be seen.

The NDA Cadets had attended the book launch of a “Faujan” Military Wife Author.

But – these same NDA Cadets were conspicuous by their absence at the Book Reading by an ex-NDA Navy Veteran – who was narrating his fascinating experiences at Sea – while circumnavigating the globe solo under sail.

Maybe – the NDA Cadets were not attending this ex-NDA Navy Veteran’s book reading – because they had not been “ordered” to do so.

But – the NDA Cadets had attended the Military Wife’s book launch because they had been “ordered” to do so.

In the Military – you blindly obey “orders” – you never use your discretion – even in literary matters.

Since the NDA Cadets were not “ordered” to attend the ex-NDA Navy Veteran’s book reading – most probably – the NDA Cadets had rushed to Pune City to enjoy what was left of the Sunday “liberty”.

Or – maybe – the NDA Cadets had been “shanghaied” right back into the bus – and transported back to NDA – now that their “Mission Book Launch” was over.

Also – I had expected the “Literary” General to attend the book reading session of his “brother” ex-NDA Navy Officer and listen to his fantastic seafaring exploits.

However – I saw “Literary General” driving off arrogantly in his “staff car”.

The ex-NDA General had no time for his fellow ex-NDA Officer who had written a fascinating book on his Navy adventure sailing alone on the high seas circumnavigating the globe.

Maybe – the “Literary General” had to attend to his more pressing Sunday Evening “Duties”.

Introspecting of the conspicuous absence of the ex-NDA General, NDA Cadets and ex-NDA Officers at their fellow ex-NDA Naval Officer’s book reading – and that too – a book on a Real Life Naval Adventure – I wondered:

What has happened to all that “camaraderie” – that ex-NDA officers boast about…?

Hey – I am digressing.

This story was about military life – “humor in uniform” – about how you are “ordered” to “volunteer” – like the NDA cadets who apparently had been commandeered and transported to the Pune International Literary Festival –“shanghaied” and “shipped” – to the book launch – and – “ordered” to have a “good time”.

In the Literary Festival – on the one hand – I observed the languid NDA cadets – and in contrast – I looked at the lively College Students of the same age group.

And – I realized – that – though the world has moved on ahead – the Military is still stuck in the past

Yes – the Defence Services seem to be stuck in an antiquated “time warp” – at least culturally.

I was reminded of many such episodes in my Navy life – when we too were “detailed” to “volunteer” – and I must tell you about them – but not now – maybe some other time – right here – in my blog.

That’s the beauty of Military Life – you learn to have a “good time” – even when you are “ordered” to do so.

And – if you are thinking of joining the Armed Forces and having a life in uniform – do read “Catch-22” – it will save you from going crazy.

EPILOGUE

I wonder whether NDA Cadets are being “Ordered” to have a “Good Time” at the Literary Festival this year…?

That – we will come to know this weekend – at the Pune International Literary Festival 2019

See you there…!!!

Dear Reader:

I hope you are coming for the Pune Literary Festival.

Or – do you want me to “Order” you to have a “Good Time” at the Literary Festival…!!!

VIKRAM KARVE

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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/humor-in-uniform-ordered-to-have-good.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a revised re-post of my story SHANGHAIED TO THE LITERARY FESTIVAL posted online by me Vikram Karve earlier in my blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal on Sep 10, 2015 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/09/humor-in-uniform-shanghaied-to-literary.html and revised and reposted at url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/08/17/humor-in-uniform-how-to-shanghai-and-ship/ and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/05/humor-in-uniform-literary-faujis.html

The Ghostwriter

September 15, 2019

Next weekend – from September 20, 2019 onwards – I am going to attend the Pune International Literary Festival

This evokes memories of the same event I have attended every year since inception more than 10 years ago.

Maybe – I will meet my friend – The “Ghostwriter”…

THE GHOSTWRITER

A Story By Vikram Karve

Circa August 2015 – At a Literary Festival

Unforgettable tête-à-tête at the Literary Festival

“Is it you…?” I asked.

“Of course – it is ‘Me’…” she said.

“It is so nice to meet you after so many years…” I said.

“Yes – it’s great to meet you too after so many years – it’s been 15 years – isn’t it…?” she said.

15 years ago – in the year 2000 – we had met at a Creative Writers’ Workshop in Mumbai.

In the workshop – at 45 – I must have been the “oldest” participant – and – she – barely 20 – still a college student – was surely the youngest.

During the workshop we were asked to read out our creative writing – the fiction short stories we had written – and – I remembered her the most among all participants – because she had a unique ‘peppy’ writing style – she wrote a lot of ‘dialogue’ – in fact – some of her stories were entirely in dialogue – and this made her writing very lively and a joy to read.

Once – when we were asked to form ‘pairs’ – to evaluate each other’s writing – she chose me as her ‘partner’.

“Why did you choose an ‘old fogey’ like me…?” I said to her, surprised.

“Well – you seem genuinely interested in my writing – the others seem to be more interested in me than my writing…” she said, pithily.

As it happens most of the time – after the workshop – all of us participants promised to keep in touch with each other – but – soon – we got busy in our day-to-day affairs and we lost contact with each other.

But – I always remembered my young ‘partner’ – especially her lively writing style – and – in fact – I tried to emulate her sprightly storytelling style in my own writing – and I wrote plenty of ‘dialogue’ in my stories.

Now – 15 years later – it was a pleasant surprise to run into her at a Literary Festival in Pune.

“I am really delighted to see you…” I said.

“Me too…” she said.

I looked at her and said:

“I don’t know whether it is a coincidence – or serendipity – but just last week – I was browsing in a bookstore in Mumbai – and there was a book-launch – a celebrity ‘autobiography’…”

Celebrity ‘autobiography’…?” she interrupted.

“Yes – a book authored by ‘XXX’ – I am sure you have heard of her…” I said.

“Of course – I have heard of ‘XXX’ – who doesn’t know her…?” she said.

“Yes – it was the book-launch of the autobiography written by ‘XXX’ – and – I don’t know why – but they gave away free copies of the book to all of us who attended the book-launch…” I said.

“Really…? That is quite generous of them. Maybe the book isn’t selling…” she commented.

“Not at all – the book is selling very well. In fact – this book has become a highly successful ‘bestseller’…” I said.

“Wow – but what was the ‘coincidence’ you were talking about…?” she asked.

“Oh yes – about the ‘coincidence’. Well – I read the book on the Deccan Queen that evening on the way back to Pune. And while reading it – do you know what I discovered…?” I said.

“What…?” she asked me.

“Her writing style is exactly like your unique writing style. This celebrity – ‘XXX’ – she writes exactly like you used to write – plenty of ‘dialogue’. Just imagine – it is an ‘autobiography’ – but instead of ‘description’ – the ‘celebrity’ has written plenty of ‘dialogue’ – just like you used to write – and this makes his life-story so ‘lively’ – just like your writing style – like you used to write during those Creative Writers’ Workshop days…” I said.

“Really…? Are you trying to say that this ‘celebrity author’ is trying to imitate me…?” she asked with a naughty smile.

“Come – I will show you – the book is for sale at the bookshop they have set up in the literary festival near the entrance to the main hall…” I said.

I took her to the bookshop display – and I pointed out the book to her.

“Oh – that book …” she said, with a wry smile.

“Yes – the way it is written – it is so much like your distinctive style – when I read it – I almost thought that you have written the book…” I said.

“I have written that book…” she said, nonchalantly.

“What…” I asked, bewildered.

“Yes – I have written the book…” she repeated, coolly.

“You have written the book…? How is that possible…? It is the ‘autobiography’ of a ‘celebrity’…” I said, puzzled.

“I have ‘ghostwritten’ the book…” she said.

“Ghostwritten…?” I said, perplexed.

“Yes – the entire book was written by me – and the ‘celebrity’ ‘XXX’ is credited as the author…” she said.

“Really…? Well – the ‘celebrity’ has expressed her gratitude to so many persons – but I did not see your name anywhere – she hasn’t even bothered to mention your name in the acknowledgements…” I said.

“Why should she take the risk mentioning my name anywhere in the book…? Surely – she doesn’t want to let the cat out of the bag – if the truth gets known – she will be exposed as a ‘fake’ author. Just imagine – if people come to know that her ‘autobiography’ has been ‘ghostwritten’ – what will happen to her carefully cultivated image as an ‘accomplished author’…?”

“But you can always tell the world that it is you who wrote the book. Why don’t you tell everyone that you are the actual author of the book – and not ‘XXX’ – why should she take credit for your work…?” I asked her.

“I have signed a nondisclosure contract that legally forbids me to mention my role in the writing project…” she said.

“A contract…? For writing a book in someone else’s name…?” I asked.

“Yes – there is a ‘confidentiality clause’ in the contract that obligates me to remain ‘anonymous’. Well – the ‘XXX’ is the ‘credited author’ and I have signed off all my rights to her – this is what all ghostwriters have to do – a ‘ghostwriter’ has to give away all her rights and copyrights to the ‘credited author’…” she said.

“But – don’t you feel bad about it – someone else taking credit for your creative work…” I asked.

“I need the money…” she said.

“Money…” I asked her.

“Do you how much money “XXX” paid me for ghostwriting her ‘autobiography’…?” she said.

“How much…?” I asked her.

She told me the amount.

I was stunned when I heard the figure.

It was a staggering amount of money – well beyond my imagination – she was paid more money for ghostwriting the book than I earned in an entire year.

“I know what you are thinking…” she said.

“What…?” I asked.

She looked at me – and she said to me:

“You are wondering why I am ‘selling my soul’ for easy money – aren’t you…?”

“You must be feeling terrible, isn’t it – someone else taking full credit for your creative efforts…” I said.

“Of course it feels bad – after all – creative recognition has its own intrinsic value…” she said, “but then – I told you that I need the money…”

I looked at her – confused – wondering whether I should despise her for her unethical conduct – or admire her for her pragmatic attitude.

For sometime – we sat in silence.

Then – suddenly – she said to me:

“Hey – when is your session…?”

“Session…” I asked.

“Have you become ‘absent minded’ or what…?” she said, “It is already 3 o’clock and you are supposed to conduct a workshop on ‘Blogging’ at 3:30…”

She opened the program schedule – and pointed it out to me:

“Here it is – ‘Workshop on Blogging’ – by you – at 3:30 – in Hall No. 3…”

“Oh yes…” I said, “in fact – I have come to the literary festival mainly for that…”

“Even I have come to the literary festival today mainly for your ‘Blogging Workshop’…” she said.

“Really – I can’t believe it – I am no great writer…” I said.

“Well – you are a top ‘Blogger’ – you are so prolific – you write on so many topics – fiction – ‘non-fiction’ – technology – management – food – book reviews – self-help – philosophy – education – so many varied genres – and you post a blog every day – do you even know the huge number of ‘page-views’ your blog gets every day…?” she asked.

“No – I just blog and forget about it…” I said.

She looked at her watch and said:

“Hey – let’s go – you don’t want to be late for your session – do you…?”

After the workshop – we went to the café for a cup of tea.

“Well – you landing up at the book-launch of my ‘ghostwritten’ book may have been serendipity – but my meeting you here is no coincidence – as I told you – I came here to the Literary Festival specifically to meet you…” she said.

“Really…” I asked.

She pulled out a business card from her purse – and she gave it to me.

“Wow – you are the ‘Director’ of a ‘PR Consultancy Firm’…” I said.

“Well – I can’t call it a ‘Ghostwriting Consultancy’ – can I…?” she said, “…PR is a ‘catch-all’ euphemism for everything – ‘ethical’ and ‘not so ethical’…”

I looked at the business card and said:

“So – you do all types of ‘ghostwriting’ – even ‘professional articles’, ‘research papers’, ‘dissertations’ and ‘thesis’…”

She said to me:

“You name it – and we ‘ghostwrite’ it.

Well – I look after the ‘creative writing’ assignments.

But – for other more specialized technical ‘projects’ we commission appropriately qualified ‘ghostwriters’ – or – ‘researchers’ – as we call them.

Let me tell you that there are many persons in the corporate sector and industry who want to masquerade as “experts” – but they do not have the requisite professional knowledge – nor do they possess good writing skills – so they come to us to do ‘research’ and ‘ghostwrite’ – for articles and books – which are published under their names to build up their professional credibility.

And – of course – there are the “rich and famous” celebrities who want to build a façade of a “literary image” and wish “show off” their “literary achievements” as “successful authors” by “writing” bestseller books which are hailed as “literary classics…”

I listened awestruck – and then I said to her:

“Hey – you didn’t tell me why you wanted to meet me…?”

“I have been following your blog for quite some time now – and I really admire the way you blog so passionately – and now – after I saw the way you conducted the ‘Blogging Workshop’ – I am really impressed…” she said.

“Thanks…” I said.

Then – she looked at me – directly into my eyes – and she said to me:

“Well – if you want to ‘sell your soul’ – do give me a call…”

“Sell my soul…?” I asked, puzzled.

“We need a ‘Blog Ghostwriter’ – and who better to ‘ghostwrite’ blogs than you…?” she said.

“But…” I stammered.

“Think about it…” she interrupted, “you can earn a substantial amount of money if you ‘encash’ your talent…”

“…‘encash’ my talent…” I mumbled, incoherently.

She looked at her watch – and said to me:

“Hey – it is already 5:30 – time for me to go…”

She typed out an SMS on her jazzy ‘Smartphone’ – and sent it.

“Come…” she said, “I have called my car…”

We walked to the foyer.

A chauffeur driven SUV car appeared at the foyer – and stopped before us.

Before I could react – the smartly dressed chauffeur got out and opened the door for her.

Before she got into her luxury car – she said to me:

“I will wait for your call. There is a tremendous market for ‘Blog Ghostwriting” – and – with your talent – the sky’s the limit – you cannot even imagine the amount of money you will be able to earn – your life will change…”

After she drove off in style – I trudged towards the bus stop.

I stood in the queue waiting for a bus – and I thought about the eventful day at the literary festival – especially the unforgettable tête-à-tête with the ‘Ghostwriter’.

EPILOGUE

At night – I sat in front of my laptop – to write a blog post about my day at the literary festival.

I took out the business card my ‘Ghostwriter’ friend had given me – and I looked at it.

I asked myself – what did I want in life…?

What was more important for me – ‘intrinsic satisfaction’ and ‘creative recognition’ by writing under my own name – or – ‘extrinsic reward’ by ‘selling my soul’ and ‘ghostwriting’ in anonymity…

My ‘inner voice’ spoke to me – clearly and distinctly.

I was not going to “sell my soul”.

I was not going to sell my creativity.

So – I tore up the business card – and I threw it in the dustbin.

Then – I started writing this blog post – under my very own name.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in this story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/07/creativity-on-sale-ghostwriter.html

Repost of my Story GHOST WRITER posted online by me Vikram Karve around four years ago in Dec 2015 (and reposted a few times) at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/12/ghost-writer.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/08/12/how-to-sell-your-soul/and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/02/pr-girl-in-corporate-communications.html

Self-Actualisation – Can you aspire for self-actualisation without fully satisfying lower level needs…?

September 15, 2019

New research on Maslow’s Theory of Self-Actualization

👇

https://www.thoughtco.com/maslow-theory-self-actualization-4169662

Can you aspire for self-actualisation without fully satisfying lower level needs…?

👇

https://www.thoughtco.com/maslow-theory-self-actualization-4169662

👆

Musings on Maslow’s Theory of Self-Actualization (Hierarchy of Needs)

The Picnic

September 14, 2019

THE PICNIC 

Story By Vikram Karve 

THE PICNIC

I once knew an officer who used to get very nasty and quarrelsome after a few drinks.

Of course – I am not going to tell you his real name.

So – let’s call him “John”.

Our newly arrived Boss wanted to have a picnic with all officers and families.

So – we decided to have a beach picnic on a Sunday – and I was told to organize the picnic.

I intentionally saw to it that John was not invited to the picnic.

One day before the picnic – I briefed the Boss regarding the arrangements – transportation, recreation, music, dance, party games, tombola, water-sports, fun for children, restrooms and shacks for ladies and gents, bar and food arrangements, seaside barbeque, gifts and presents, everything…

It was going to be a very enjoyable picnic  and we all were going to have a fabulous time.

The Boss seemed quite happy.

Then – he saw the guest list.

“I don’t see John’s name here…” the boss remarked, “I want all officers and families to attend the picnic – why is John and his family not coming…?”

“He has not been invited…” I said.

“John has not been invited…? Why…?” my Boss asked me.

“We felt that is was best not to invite him for the picnic…” I said.

“What nonsense…? Who took this decision…?” my Boss asked me.

“I took the decision not to invite John for the picnic. Sir – I feel it is best not to call John for the picnic…” I said.

“You took a decision not to call John for the picnic…? Are you crazy…? I can’t believe that you could do such a stupid thing. Who the hell do you think you are…? What’s wrong with you…?” the Boss said, looking annoyed.

“I feel it would be best if John did not come for the picnic…” I said.

For a moment – my Boss looked at me in disbelief.

Then – my Boss angrily asked me:

“May I know the reason why you don’t want John and his family to come for the picnic…?”

“John cannot hold his drinks, Sir…” I said.

“What do you mean…?” my Boss asked, curious.

“Sir – there is going to be a lot of beer and alcoholic punches and drinks at the picnic. John invariably gets drunk on such occasions – and when he is drunk – he gets very nasty and belligerent. He is sure to misbehave and pick up a fight with someone. Things will become very unpleasant – John will spoil the whole atmosphere  and the picnic will get ruined…” I said.

My Boss was furious and he admonished me:

“Stop giving me bullshit. I have specially planned this picnic. All officers and their families are attending. How can you exclude John just because of your whims and fancies…? Do you have any bloody social graces or not…?”

“Sir  please listen …” I tried to plead.

“You shut up and listen to me. You will make sure that John and his family are present for the picnic. You will personally give him the invitation right now. Is that clear…? Do you understand…?” my Boss commanded me.

“Aye Aye, Sir…” I said, sheepishly.

The Beach Picnic started on a bright note.

Everyone – the men, the women, the children, were thoroughly enjoying themselves – dancing, singing, playing, romping on the sands, frolicking on the beach, swimming the blue waters of the sea.

Then – things began to happen exactly as I had anticipated.

Around 11 AM in the morning – we opened the Liquor Bar – and we started enjoying our drinks.

I could see that John was drinking away and enjoying himself thoroughly.

Just after noon – around 12:30 in the afternoon – John got drunk and nasty.

First – he picked up a fight with an officer over some trivial issue.

Then – he got abusive over not being served snacks properly.

John was staggering unsteadily on his feet – and shouting incoherently.

Seeing that John was visibly drunk – and that he was making a fool of himself – his embarrassed wife tried to restrain him from drinking more beer.

John’s wife pleaded with John to stop drinking.

She told him that he had drunk too much alcohol already – and he was misbehaving.

But – this enraged John even further – and he abused and slapped his wife in full public view.

Our Boss tried to reason with John and calm him down.

But – John got belligerent and abusive with the Boss too – and John threatened to hit our Boss – and we had to rescue our Boss before John thrashed him.

The ladies and children were terrified.

John’s wife and children were in tears.

We were all disgusted – and there was an air of unpleasantness.

Then – John picked up a bottle of Rum – and he walked to a secluded place on the beach.

John kept drinking – till he drank himself into a drunken stupor.

In the evening – we had to carry a dead-drunk John into the boat.

John was in a terribly intoxicated state – in a semi-conscious inebriated condition – and beads of sweat formed over his face – as he lay sprawled in the boat.

As the boat started sailing over the sea – rolling and pitching – John got violently sick – and then – he vomited all over the boat.

The disgusting stench of his vomit – and the sight of his vile hideous puke – made everyone sickeningly nauseous.

Everyone was disgusted.

The picnic was a disaster.

Next morning  I went to my Boss to show him the picnic accounts.

For some time  we looked at each other in silence.

Then  my Boss said to me:

“You were right about John. It would have been better if we had avoided calling him for the picnic. He ruined everything by his disgusting behaviour. I feel sorry for his wife and kids  they must be feeling so embarrassed.”

“Sir  I was going to tell you something more on that day  but – you asked me to shut up…” I said.

“What…? You were going to tell me something more on that day…? What was it…? Speak up. Tell me now…” my Boss said.

“Sir  it was John’s wife who told me not to invite them for the picnic…” I said.

“What nonsense are you talking…? Why would John’s wife not want to come for the picnic…?” my Boss said.

I looked at my Boss – and I said to him:

“John’s wife told me that she did not want to come for the picnic – especially with John. 

She knew – that after a few drinks – her husband John would misbehave – he would get nasty – he would indulge in outrageous antics – and he would spoil the atmosphere.

And – all this would be embarrassing for everyone. 

She said that John’s drunken behaviour in front of everyone – it would be very painful for her – and it would be very traumatic for their young daughter. 

That is why John’s wife pleaded with me not to invite John for the picnic. 

So – I did not invite John for the picnic. 

But – Sir – you overruled me – and you ordered me to invite John for the picnic…”

On hearing this – my Boss looked at me – nonplussed.

Then – my Boss commented: “It was sad – very sad – especially for his wife and daughter. We should have never invited John for the picnic…” 

MORAL OF THE STORY

There is a Navy Saying:

Officers are never LATE – they only get DELAYED

Officers are never DRUNK – they only feel NICE… 

This “Old Navy” Wisdom implies that only sailors are “late” for duties – but – officers have the privilege of coming at their pleasure.

More importantly – this Navy “Dictum” postulates that only sailors have the luxury of getting drunk.

But – Officers Never Get Drunk – they only Feel “Nice”.

Yes – “An Officer Never Gets Drunk – He Only Feels “Nice”…” 

This means that a Naval Officer must have “Booze OLQ.

“OLQ” is the acronym for “Officer Like Qualities”.

The Navy taught me many things.

One of the things I learnt in the Navy was that an Officer must have “Booze OLQ”.

Yes – one essential “Officer Like Quality” in the Navy is the ability to “hold your liquor”.

An Officer must be capable of drinking his sailors under the table.

Yes – an officer should have much higher drinking capacity (alcohol tolerance level) than his sailors.

As an Officer – you should be able to continue drinking and remain sober after your sailors have completely “passed out” dead-drunk and inebriated.

During my wonderful Navy days – I observed that:

Sailors respect an officer who can “outdrink” them.

That is why the saying in the Navy:

An Officer Never Gets Drunk – He Only Feels Nice

This “Officer Like Quality” is called “Booze OLQ”

“Booze OLQ” is an essential aspect of what they call OLQ or “OFFICER LIKE QUALITIES” – because drinking alcohol is an essential part of social culture in the Defence Services – where alcohol flows freely on every occasion, every celebration, every party.

In fact – with all so-called Military Facilities and Perks extended to Civilians – the only “perk” that remains exclusive to the Defence Services is concessional liquor from CSD Canteens (and “duty free” liquor for the Navy on Ships) – though I hear that even this cheap booze facility is being extended to paramilitary/police and others.

Hence – at least till now – one of the main attractions of joining the Defence Services is concessional CSD liquor – which is an incentive for “Faujis” to drink – especially at an impressionable age when youth join the Military (“Fauj”).

Drinking together is a time-tested way of developing camaraderie with your fellow officers and with your sailors.

So – if you are an officer – you must have “Booze OLQ” – which means that you must be able to drink much more than your sailors and be able to drink them under the table – and – you must be able to hold your liquor.

This is what I call the “Alcohol Test” of OLQ.

Alcohol will make a good officer feel nice  never nasty.

But – if a person gets nasty, unpleasant, disagreeable and ill-tempered after a few drinks – then that person is not fit to be a Naval Officer – because he has failed in the “Alcohol Test” of OLQ – and hence – he does not possess “Booze OLQ”.

Alcohol does different things to different people.

Alcohol opens you up.

Alcohol reduces inhibitions.

A few drinks loosen you up – and alcohol helps release your inner pent-up emotions.

Alcohol helps you express feelings which you may have suppressed within you – knowingly or unknowingly.

Alcohol helps bring out what is hidden within you.

If you are happy inside – after a few drinks – you will start physically expressing your happiness boisterously and outwardly – by laughing, cheerfulness and bonhomie.

When you are in high spirits – you will become more talkative – more expansive – and more expressive.

Under the influence of alcohol – you may even articulate your secret unexpressed love – and – you become overly romantic and amorous – maybe – even sexually expressive.

Alcohol also makes it possible to discover the hidden talents of a person.

Alcohol can help unleash your latent creativity.

You may have noticed that some persons become more creative after imbibing a drink or two – since alcohol unleashes your inhibitions – and releases the music, the poetry, the art, and the creativity hidden within you.

That is why alcohol flows freely during parties and celebrations – since alcohol helps dissolve the walls of inhibitions, self-consciousness and reticence and helps release inhibitions – and amplifies inner emotions, talents, passions, sentiments – inner happiness becomes outer happiness – and the environment is filled with cheer and bonhomie.

But – the converse is also true.

By reducing inhibitions – alcohol may bring out the worst in you – by facilitating the release of pent-up negative emotions like anger, envy, dejection, despondency, frustration – and these unleashed amplified negative emotions may result in undesirable, unpleasant and even disastrous consequences.

Have you noticed how – after a few drinks – some people get violent, argumentative, rude – or sometimes melancholic, moody, sullen, depressed, unsociable…

I have always believed in the dictum:

If you want to know the true character of a man  get him drunk.

Once a man is drunk – what is hidden inside him will come out – and his true inner self will be revealed.

And this certainly applies to women who drink too.

During my younger days in the Navy – I was quite wary of persons who did not drink.

I remember those golden words engraved on the walls of a Navy Bar:

DO NOT TRUST A MAN WHO DOES NOT DRINK

The fact of the matter is that alcohol can bring out the best in you.

But – alcohol can also bring out the worst in you – and this indicates that you do not have “Booze OLQ”.

In the Navy – and in the Army and Air Force too – as an essential part of Service Etiquette and Social Graces – an Officer is required to have “Booze OLQ”

Yes – if an individual who feels “nice” after consuming a substantial quantity of alcohol – then he has “Booze OLQ”.

On the contrary – if a person gets nasty after a few drinks – he does not have “Booze OLQ” – he lacks a vital OLQ (Officer Like Quality) – and he is not fit to be an officer.

Maybe they should introduce an “Alcohol OLQ Test” at the Services Selection Board (SSB) – to test and ascertain whether an officer candidate has “Booze OLQ”.

Dear Reader: 

Cheers…!!! 

Have a drink  as long as you feel “nice”  and not “nasty”.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2.  All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved) 

Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/06/the-picnic.html

Revised Version of my Story THE PICINIC written by me Vikram Karve more than 6 years ago in the year 2013 and posted online earlier in my blogs at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/the-alcohol-test-of-olq-or-officer-like.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/10/the-picnic.html   and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/04/humor-in-uniform-social-drinking-and.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/05/humor-in-uniform-booze-olq-social.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/09/picnic-party.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/an-officer-never-gets-drunk-he-only.html  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/01/13/humor-an-officer-never-gets-drunk-he-only-feels-nice/and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/11/22/booze-olq-story-of-a-picnic/  and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/07/10/humor-booze-olq-an-officer-never-gets-drunk-he-only-feels-nice/  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/10/humor-in-uniform-olq-officer-like.html

Self Care – How to be Happy – Part 1 : The Happiness List

September 14, 2019

A Navy Friend – who has recently retired from his “second innings” in “civvy street” – he asked me:

“You seem to enjoying your retired life. Tell me – how can I be happy in my retired life…?”

(Apparently – this Navy Friend (and many others) – they think that I am happy…!!!)

He recalled some articles I had posted on the subject in my blog and asked me to repost them for his benefit.

So – for him – and all my readers – let me delve deep into my blog – and post two articles on the topic “HOW TO BE HAPPY”.

How to be Happy – Part 1 : The Happiness List

How to be Happy – Part 2 : The Happiness Equation

Dear Reader: Do read both the articles and give me your feedback…

HOW TO BE HAPPY – PART 1 : THE HAPPINESS LIST

A few moments ago – I heard a melodious song on Vividh Bharati Radio.

I felt happy.

And – I remembered an article I had written 19 years ago, in the year 2000, based on this philosophical quote by Taoist Philosopher Mingliaotse:

“The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild…”

It has been my experience too – that:

“MILD” PLEASURES GIVE YOU MAXIMUM HAPPINESS

So – let me delve deep into my “SELF HELP” Archives and dig out this article for you to read.

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY KEEP YOUR PLEASURES MILD
Self Help Musings of a Veteran
By
VIKRAM KARVE

HAPPINESS a Philosophical Approach

The primary aim of philosophy and spirituality is to help ordinary people live a life of happiness, fulfillment, inner peace and tranquility.

Every day you ask yourself:

How do I live a happy life…?

Is it simple to be happy…?

What is the “Art of Happiness”…?

PLEASURE and HAPPINESS

Let us see what the Taoist philosopher Mingliaotse has to say:

“The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild…”

You know that whenever pleasure is present you are happy – this is a fact that cannot be denied.

A pleasure is an enjoyable event or delightful emotion which is bound to make you happy – at least for that moment.

Highfalutin philosophers and spiritual gurus may prescribe various impracticable esoteric paths of renunciation, asceticism or sectarian precepts eschewing enjoyment and pleasure as the sine qua non of happiness.

Yes – many “Gurus” prescribe living a staid ascetic life which entails eschewing of all enjoyment and pleasure as a prerequisite for attaining happiness and enlightenment.

But the fact of the matter is – that to the ordinary person Happiness and Pleasure are inextricably intertwined.

Yes – Pleasures make you Happy – and you know it.

Discovering simple enduring pleasures – which you can easily and regularly achieve, realize and enjoy in your day-to-day life – will produce contentment, fulfillment and happiness.

Pleasure is certainly not a bad thing in itself.

But wanton pursuit of pleasures is counterproductive – as it leads to over-indulgence and excesses – which bring with them disturbances which are detrimental to our health, happiness and well-being.

In your search for happiness – you tend to indulge in lavish parties, unrestrained extravagance, conspicuous consumption, compulsive shopping, thoughtless profligacy, limitless spending, expensive entertainments etc.

You try to enjoy everything at once.

You want instant gratification by over-indulgence in drinking, eating, revelry and sensual pleasures – stretching yourself to the maximum limits possible.

At first – you enjoy yourself – and feel happy.

Then – you come to the point of satiety – and you begin to feel a sense of repulsion.

And – if you overdo yourself – next morning you wake up sick and feeling miserable with a sense of sadness and depression rather than happiness.

You may think that grandiose, ostentatious, lavish, unrestrained and intemperate indulgences will ostensibly make you happy.

But – in actual fact – these over-indulgences may render you stressed-out and unhappy – and cause you harm and misery in the long run.

There is no need to overdo things in order to be happy.

Just keep your pleasures mild.

Enjoying a simple, tasty and healthy meal with your loved ones and friends – or just sitting quietly in solitude and leisurely reading a good book or enjoying melodious music – or taking a walk observing nature – or enjoying your work, leisure, hobbies – are some mild pleasures which will make you happy and keep you healthy too.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR PLEASURES MILD

Step 1

IDENTIFY ALL YOUR PLEASURES AND MAKE A “HAPPINESS LIST”

It is simple to be happy.

The first thing you must do is to introspect and list your most pleasurable activities.

Yes – make a HAPPINESS LIST including all the things, activities, places and people that give you true joy, happiness and satisfaction.

Your happiness list must cover all aspects of your life.

Make your “happiness list” as exhaustive as possible.

Step 2

IDENTIFY “MILD PLEASURES” FROM YOUR “HAPPINESS LIST”

From this comprehensive “HAPPINESS LIST” – you must select those “Mild Pleasures” that you can enjoy every day – or very frequently – or very often.

Identify those “Mild Pleasures” that are Feasible and Viable for you to enjoy Frequently.

Then – incorporate these pleasures in your routine – and fit them into your daily life.

See what happens.

Some “pleasures” that you thought would make you happy – they actually do the opposite – don’t they…?

These are “pseudo pleasures” which you thought would make you happy – but your experience shows – that these “pseudo pleasures” actually cause you stress and unhappiness in the long run.

Step 3

DELETE “PSEUDO PLEASURES” FROM YOUR “HAPPINESS LIST”

Delete those “pleasures” that you first thought would give you happiness – but actually made you feel stressed-out or depressed.

Yes – remove those things that you thought would be satisfying – but actually turned out to be unrewarding.

Experiment – make changes – be watchful – be dynamic.

Do not hesitate to add new items to your list.

You can always remove them – if they fail to produce the desired results.

Fine tune your HAPPINESS LIST – and religiously put into daily practice your happiness list – and experience happiness every day.

BE HAPPY

This prescription of keeping your pleasures mild will enable you to structure your life in way where your happiness will be in your control – and you will find greater joy in your life.

It will be feasible and within your control to ensure that you enjoy these mild pleasures daily – or at least fairly regularly.

With only limited waking hours during the day – these enjoyable events will begin to crowd out the unpleasant activities in your daily life.

This will make you feel fulfilled and happy.

Dear Reader – start today – keep your pleasures mild so that you can enjoy these simple pleasures every day – and discover the true art of happiness – the art of living.

Discover the mild pleasures that make you truly happy and joyful.

And do let me know your experience – did this simple philosophy of keeping your pleasures mild make you happier?

It is easy to be happy – isn’t it…?

Remember:

The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild

Dear Reader:

Have you made your “Happiness List”…?

Take the first step towards becoming Happy.

Start making your HAPPINESS LIST right now…

(continued in How to be Happy – Part 2 : The Happiness Equation)

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. So please do due diligence before trying out this technique.
  2. All stories in this blog area work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/06/how-to-be-happy.html

I wrote this article 19 years ago, in the year 2000, and have posted it online in my blogs a number of times including in 2005 at url: http://creative.sulekha.com/the-art-of-happiness-by-vikram-karve_32504_blog and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/01/happiness-mantra-keep-your-pleasures.html andhttp://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/05/do-you-want-to-feel-happy-then-keep.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/you-can-be-happy-if-you-keep-your.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/12/how-to-be-happy-mild-pleasures-give-you.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/self-help-if-you-want-to-be-happy-keep.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/04/23/if-you-want-to-be-happy-keep-your-pleasures-mild/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/06/15/happiness-made-simple-2/and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/08/28/do-you-have-a-happiness-list/ and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/have-you-made-your-happiness-list.html

Why did he dump me…? Why did he break my heart…?

September 13, 2019

WHY DID HE BREAK MY HEART…?

WHY DID HE “DUMP” ME…?
Flash Fiction
A Love Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

From my Creative Writing Archives:

I wrote this story then titled ME TOO more than 25 years ago in the 1990’s for a flash fiction competition.

Here is the story once more revised, edited and updated suitable for online reading as Blog Fiction with a new title too.

WHY DID HE DUMP ME…?

Story of a Broken Engagement by Vikram Karve

Part 1 – THE EMAIL

The moment I saw the email – I did two things.

First – I took a print-out of the email.

Then – I kept the printout in my purse.

After that – I deleted the email from my mailbox.

I called my travel agent – and I booked my ticket on the next flight to India.

The email contained a name and an address.

That’s all – just a name and an address.

I cannot begin to describe the emotion I felt – as I looked at the name.

I had so many questions to ask him – unanswered questions that were haunting me for so many years.

Part 2 – WHY DID HE DUMP ME…?

It all started when my fiancé Anil suddenly broke off our engagement without any explanation.

“Why…? Why do you want to break our engagement…?” I asked him, totally shocked.

“I can’t tell you…” he said.

“You can’t dump me just like this. I have done nothing wrong…” I pleaded, heartbroken.

“I’m sorry, Rita. I can’t marry you…” he said, trying to look away from my eyes.

“What do you mean you can’t marry me…?” I shouted at him, holding his shoulders and shaking him.

He did not say anything.

He just remained silent and averted his eyes.

“Is it someone else…? Tell me, is there someone else…? What do you mean you can’t marry me…? Actually you don’t want to marry me – isn’t it…?”

“Okay – you can think what you like. I don’t want to marry you… ”

“You have to give me an explanation. I am not going to accept being jilted like this. How can you suddenly dump me just like this…?”

“You have to accept it. Don’t delve too much.”

“How dare you say ‘don’t delve too much’ – how dare you say such nonsense…? You are a filthy unscrupulous cheat…” I screamed in anger, taking hold of his collar.

“Cool down…” he said pushing me away. “So you are calling me a cheat – are you…? That’s really funny – when actually it is you who tried to cheat me. You are the one who is a cheat.”

“Me…? I cheated you…? You are accusing me of cheating on you…?” I said, dumbfounded and furious.

“You shouldn’t have tried to hide things from me…” he said as if he were accusing me.

“Hide what…?” I asked, getting livid.

“You never told me that you are an adopted child…” he said.

I was stunned.

Feeling incredulous – I said to Anil:

“Adopted…? I am an adopted child…? What are you saying…?”

“Yes. You are an adopted child. And – you hid that fact from me…” he said firmly.

Shocked – I shouted at him loudly in anger:

“What nonsense…! Don’t talk rubbish. I am not adopted…! I am not an adopted child…!”

“You are. Maybe – you don’t know. Maybe – they did not tell you. But – you are not their real daughter – you are an adopted daughter.”

“Who told you…?”

“We got some pre-matrimonial enquiries done.”

“Matrimonial Enquiry…? You spied on me…?” I accused him.

And – I shouted at him:

“You cheapie – you want to blackmail me – you want to humiliate me – with all these sick lies…?”

He looked at me and he said to me:

“Don’t worry. No one else knows. It’s a reliable and discreet investigation agency…”

“No. It is not true. I am not adopted…” I said.

I felt shattered.

My mind went numb – feeling paralysed, cold – as if I had lost my senses.

“Why don’t you ask your parents…?” Anil said – and he walked away.

Anil dumped me – and he walked away from my life forever – leaving me heartbroken, desolate and shattered.

I never asked my parents – the only parents I knew – I never asked them.

They were the one’s who loved me – and gave me everything in life

I could not ask them – because I knew that it would terribly hurt them.

I did not have the heart to hurt my gentle parents who loved me so much – and had given me everything.

They did not say anything to me when my engagement was called off.

But I could see the sadness and a sense of guilt in their eyes – as they withered away – having lost the will to live.

I felt deeply anguished and helpless.

My parents loved me.

Maybe they were my foster parents – but they were the only parents I knew – and they meant everything to me.

We carried on our lives as if nothing had happened.

I lovingly cared and looked after them till their very end.

But deep down I felt terribly betrayed.

Years passed.

Time and life moved on.

I relocated abroad.

I immersed myself in my work.

They say time is the best healer.

But time did not heal this wound.

I tried to forget – but I could never forget.

One day – I could bear it no longer.

I decided to find out.

And now – I had found out.

The investigation agency had done a good job – very confidential and discreet.

For the first time I knew the name of my actual father – my real father – my biological natural father.

And now – I had to meet this man – and – I had to ask him why he did it – why did he commit that cruel unforgivable act of abandoning me to the world.

Part 3 – SAPIENCE

I landed at Delhi airport in the very early hours of the morning.

It was cold – the morning chill at once refreshing and invigorating.

The driver drove fast.

It took me six hours by taxi to reach the magnificent bungalow near Landour in Mussoorie.

I checked the nameplate – and I briskly walked inside – eager to see my real father – for the first time.

There was a small crowd gathered in the porch.

“What’s happening…?” I asked a man in the crowd.

Bada Saheb is no more. He passed away this morning. He was a good man. He was always so kind and helpful to us…” the man said, with tears in his eyes.

I pushed my way through the crowd.

My father’s lifeless body was lying on a white sheet bedecked with flowers – ready for the last rites.

I looked at his serene face.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

Suddenly – I lost control of myself – and I cried inconsolably:

“I have become an orphan. My father is dead… I have become an orphan…”

“Me too…” a familiar voice said softly behind me, “He was my father too…”

I turned around.

It was Anil – my ex fiancé.

I stared into the eyes of my ex fiancé Anil.

Anil looked into my eyes with tenderness.

Slowly – comprehension began to dawn on me.

I looked at Anil.

Anil looked at me.

He gave me a warm “brotherly” look.

I cannot describe the emotion I felt at that moment.

We – Anil and Me – kept looking into each other’s eyes in silence.

It was a grotesque silence – deafening silence – illuminating silence – empathizing silence – compassionate silence – an enlightening silence.

Silence.

Sapience.

Silent sapience.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/07/why-did-he-dump-me-story-of-broken.html

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

This Story was written by me in the 1990’s and this Revised Updated Version First Posted Online by me Vikram Karve in the year 2006 in my creative writing blog at url: http://creative.sulekha.com/the-journey-a-fiction-short-story-by-vikram-karve_28108_blog and many times later on my various creative writing blogs including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/01/sapience-my-favourite-short-stories.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/01/sapience-my-favourite-short-stories.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/04/blog-fiction-story-no-27-sapience.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/11/sapience-short-and-sweet-story.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/04/broken-engagement-why-did-he-dump-me.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/why-did-he-break-my-heart-why-did-he.html

Leisure Management – Weekends

September 13, 2019

How to Ruin your Weekends

This story happened long back in the 1970’s when we worked for 6 days in a week in the Navy and all government offices.

So – the weekend began on Saturday evening.

Now – with 5 Day Week in vogue at most places – the weekend begins on Friday evening.

So – this advice applies to Friday evenings too…!!!

Yes – this advice applies for the entire weekend – from Friday Evening to Sunday Evening…

DO YOU PARTY ON WEEKENDS … ?

Delightful Story from My Wonderful Navy Days

A Spoof By Vikram Karve

Disclaimer: This story happened long back in the 1970’s when we worked for 6 days in a week in the Navy and all government offices. Now – with “5 Day Week” in vogue at most places – the weekend begins on Friday evening. So – this advice applies to Friday evenings too…!!!

PARTY TIME

Part 1 – The PMC

“You think you are too damn smart – but I have found out something about you…” said the PMC (President Mess Committee) of our Officers’ Mess – a Commander.

“What is it, Sir…?” I asked.

I was curious.

I wondered which “secret” of mine the PMC had discovered.

The PMC looked at me and said:

“You avoid having parties on Saturdays…”

“Is it so…?” I said, smiling like a Cheshire Cat.

The PMC looked at me and said:

“Ever since you have taken over as Mess Secretary – you always schedule parties on working days – on weekday evenings.

Every time we want to have a party on Saturday evenings – you get the party re-scheduled on a weekday on some pretext or the other.

Now you have crossed all limits – you even want a Saturday afternoon Pre-Lunch Drinks (PLD) preponed to Wednesday afternoon…”

“Sir – there is no such word as “preponed”…” I said.

“Shut up. Don’t try to change the topic…” he said.

“Sir – but Wednesday is also a “make-and-mend” (half-day) routine – and the officer whose farewell party it is – he wanted it on Wednesday – he said it was more convenient…”

“Don’t bullshit me – the officer said that it was you who told him that Wednesday would be convenient…” the PMC said.

Now that the cat was out of the bag – I decided to make a clean breast of it.

“Sir, you are right – I don’t like to have parties on Saturdays…” I said.

“Any particular reason for not having a party on Saturdays…? Is it something religious…? Do you “fast” on Saturdays…?” the PMC asked me.

“No, No, Sir – it is something totally different – nothing religious or spiritual about it, Sir. Maybe – it is philosophical – but you won’t believe me if I tell you…” I said.

“I want to know – you have to tell me…” the PMC insisted.

“I work to enjoy my leisure…” I said.

“You work to enjoy your leisure…?” he repeated my words, looking puzzled.

So – I explained my rationale to him:

“All of us – we work for our leisure – don’t we…?

Isn’t that the main reason we work…?

Don’t we all work – so that we can enjoy our leisure…?

We slog 6 days a week – so that we can enjoy that one Sunday we get off as a weekly holiday.

And – in the Navy – we have to do duties on every third Sunday too – so even some of the few Sunday routines we get are ruined anyway…”

The PMC was not convinced.

So – he shouted at me:

“But – what the hell has all this got to do with not having parties on weekends…?”

I elaborated my logic:

“I don’t like to have a hangover on a Sunday morning.

I prefer to have my hangover on a working day.

Yes – I prefer to have my hangover in working hours…”

The PMC seemed to getting annoyed on hearing my well-reasoned arguments.

He said to me angrily:

“What bloody bullshit…!!!

You prefer to have your hangover in working hours…?

What sort of nonsense talk is this…?”

I tried my best to explain:

“Sir – I drink – because I am in the Navy.

It is the Navy – who taught me how to drink.

It is the Navy that motivates me to drink by giving me the choicest duty-free Scotch Whisky and Top Quality Foreign Liquor and subsidized CSD liquor at concessional rates.

And – tell me, Sir – doesn’t the Navy have an “official party culture” that encourages drinking…?”

With a look of bewilderment on his face – the PMC said to me:

“I just don’t understand what you are saying..?”

So – I tried to make him understand:

“Sir – I never touched a drop of booze in college.

And most probably – I would never have started drinking alcohol if I had not joined the Navy.

So – Navy is responsible for my drinking habit.

And – since I drink alcohol because I am in the Navy – the effects of drinking alcohol – like a hangover – it must be suffered in working hours.

Also – Sir – most Navy parties are “official” parties.

So – the “after-effects” of these “official” parties must be “officially” endured in official working hours – isn’t it, Sir…?”

The PMC shouted at me:

“You are talking all bullshit…”

I persisted and said:

“Sir – please try to see it logically.

The Navy is responsible for my drinking – so the Navy must bear my hangover.

Why should I ruin my valuable leisure hours suffering a hangover on the one beautiful Sunday morning I get for myself…?

In fact – I like to get up early on Sundays – so that I can enjoy my well deserved holiday to the fullest…”

From the incredulous look on his face – it appeared that the PMC was not convinced by my logical reasoning.

And – just to prove that he was the Boss – when the next occasion for an official farewell party arose – the PMC decided that the party was to be held on a Saturday evening.

Part 2 – The PMC’s Wife

The weekend party was vetoed by the PMC’s wife – who unequivocally told her husband:

“Why are you having an official party on Saturday evening…?

Why don’t you have the farewell party on a weekday evening like you normally do…?

I am not going to ruin my weekend attending your boring party which goes on and on till the wee hours.

Have the party on a weekday evening – and – on Saturday evening – you take me out for shopping and a movie.”

What the PMC did not know – was that – I had a discussion on the same subject with his wife.

And – the PMC’s wife seemed to enthusiastically agree with my views about “No Partying on Weekends”.

The PMC’s wife also agreed with me that there was no point in ruining your weekends by partying on Saturday evenings – and wasting your valuable Sunday morning nursing a hangover – and – it was best to party on weekdays – and suffer your hangover in working hours.

So – the PMC’s wife vetoed the PMC’s order of having a party on Saturday Evening – and – the Party was held on Wednesday Evening – as was the norm – as long as I was the Mess Secretary.

As they say in the Navy:

“Normal Service Resumed”

Part 3 – EPILOGUE

I tried my best to follow my “NO PARTYING ON WEEKENDS” dictum throughout my Navy career – so that I could fully enjoy my well-earned Sundays as I pleased.

(A few years later– after the 5-day week was introduced – my “NO PARTY WINDOW” was extended from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening)

Sometimes – my principle of “No Partying on Weekends” did annoy some seniors – who found me missing from Weekend Evening Cocktails/Dinners or from the afternoon Pre-Lunch Drinks (PLD) on Weekend Afternoons.

In one organisation – despite my best efforts to convince them to have parties on weekdays – they insisted on having all parties on weekends.

I avoided most of these weekend parties – in order to enjoy my weekend leisure to the fullest.

Once – when one of my bosses asked me why I was missing from parties – I gave him one of my classic retorts:

“Sir – I do not attend parties because I am an “alcoholic”…”

What happened after that…?

Well – that’s another story which I will tell you some other time.

MORAL OF THE STORY

Meanwhile – remember the “Moral of the Story” of this article:

The worst way to spend a beautiful Sunday morning is by sleeping in bed – having a splitting headache – suffering from a hangover – due the excesses of late night weekend partying.

Why ruin your valuable leisure hours…?

Why ruin your Sunday…?

Why ruin your weekend leisure-time by weekend partying…?

Remember – you work on weekdays – in order to enjoy your leisure during weekends.

If you must party – why not do it on working days…?

Yes – you can party throughout the week – on working day evenings – from Monday to Thursday – and “enjoy” the hangover in working hours the next morning…

But – remember to keep your weekends free for yourself – and enjoy all your leisure hours “perfectly sober” – in your full senses – so you can enjoy your leisure to the best.

Dear Reader:

Why waste your weekend mornings nursing a hangover or recovering from the excesses of late night partying…?

Isn’t it better to suffer your hangover in office hours…?

You agree with me – don’t you…?

Do remember the essence of partying:

Never Party on Weekends.

Why ruin your weekends…?

Party on Weekdays – and – Enjoy your Weekend.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/saturday-morning-post-how-to-enjoy-your.html

Revised and Updated Version of my Story First Posted Online by me Vikram Karve at 7/04/2014 12:20:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/humor-in-uniform-weekend-blues.html and later reposted at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/03/leisure-management-contrarian-wisdom.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/02/do-you-party-on-weekends.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/its-monday-let-party-begin.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/09/do-you-party-on-weekends.html

Birthday Musings

September 12, 2019

Ever since I retired from the Navy – many years ago – from my time to time – I hark back and reminisce about my Navy Days – and write stories based on my Navy Days in my Blogs.

Some friends ask me why I mostly write about my happy memories in the Navy.

Here is my answer:

HOW TO REMINISCE

Navy Philosophy

Ramblings of a Retired Navy Veteran By Vikram Karve

NAVY STYLE PHILOSOPHICAL APPROACH TO LIFE

Long back – many years ago – I watched an old Black and White Movie called:

ACTION IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC

The film – ACTION IN THE NORTH ATLANTIC – produced in 1943 – stars the inimitable Humphrey Bogart – and is a story of the war at sea during the World War II.

The thrilling movie depicts the bravery and adventure of Naval Officers and Sailors on a Merchant Navy Ship during World War 2.

The merchant ships – sailing in a convoy – are sailing from Halifax in Canada – to Murmansk in Russia – carrying vital war material.

The convoy of merchant ships is pursued by German Submarines (a Wolf-pack).

There is one dialogue in this movie that attracted my attention – and this quote remained etched in my memory even after the movie was over.

The quote was:

“The difference between you and me – Skipper – is that – You Remember the Grief – but – I Remember the Fun”

After I saw the movie – for a long time that evening – during my evening walk – I let the quote perambulate in my mind.

“You Remember the GRIEF – but – I Remember the FUN

The more I thought about it – the more it made sense – and the more meaningful and insightful these simple words seemed to me.

In the movie – there is a scene on a dark and gloomy night – as the warship sails on treacherous seas with the dangerous enemy lurking below.

Humphrey Bogart – who is the Chief Officer of the Merchant Ship – and his Captain – are standing in the Bridge-Wings – reminiscing and discussing their time on an earlier ship which was sunk by enemy torpedoes.

The Captain keeps talking about the tough hazardous times they had when their convoys were attacked – and he keeps recalling various tragedies and misfortunes.

On the other hand – the Chief Officer talks about all the fun, frolic, flirting and enjoyment he has had during his tenure on the same ship – and he describes his delightful amorous peccadilloes and escapades in various ports.

The Captain berates the Chief Officer.

The Captain asks the Chief Officer how he can be so frivolous and merry in a dangerous and grim wartime situation.

The Chief Officer (Humphrey Bogart) replies:

“The difference between you and me, Skipper, is that you remember the grief but I remember the fun.”

Tell me – Dear Reader:

When you recollect your past:

Are the recollections happy and pleasing…?

Or – are your recollections of the past sad and unpleasant…?

FORGET THE GRIEF – REMEMBER THE FUN

Let’s do an experiment.

Close your eyes and think of your childhood – what comes to your mind – what predominates – happy memories – or sad moments?

Reminisce about each phase of your past life – your early years, school, college, career, marriage, your middle age, until now – and examine your recollections – “pleasant” memories – and – “not-so-pleasant” memories.

Yes:

You will have Two Types of Memories:

  1. Pleasant (happy) Memories
  2. Not-so-pleasant (unhappy) Memories

(When I hark back to my Childhood, my school and college days, my Navy Days – I too have both types of memories – Happy Memories and Not-so-happy Memories)

Now remember the dialogue from the movie (Action in the North Atlantic) spoken by the Chief Officer (Humphrey Bogart) to his Captain:

“The difference between you and me, Skipper, is that you remember the grief but I remember the fun.”

“You Remember the GRIEF – but – I Remember the FUN…”

Now – you know how to handle your memories.

Like Humphrey Bogart said – REMEMBER THE FUN.

So – just forget and blank out all the sad and unpleasant memories of your past – and remember the joyful pleasant moments.

Hark back to happy memories and joyful reminiscences which evoke a smile on your lips.

Try to erase from your brain all traces of your past grief.

Forget the “bad guys” – who harmed you and caused you misery.

Remember the “good guys” – who added value to your life and gave you joy.

Forget all unpleasant memories.

Remember all happy memories.

Yes – from now on let this be your leitmotif:

FORGET THE GRIEF

and just

REMEMBER THE FUN

Yes – whenever you think about your past and reminisce:

Forget the Grief – Remember the Fun

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/how-to-remember-past.html

Updated Version of my Article First Posted by me Vikram Karve in this blog at 6/30/2012 11:59:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/forget-grief-and-remember-fun.html andhttp://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/10/how-to-reminisce-navy-philosophy-forget.html andand https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/05/11/how-to-reminisce-forget-the-grief-remember-the-fun/ etc

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