Posts Tagged ‘party’

How Much Should You Drink – Self Help – Measure Your Drinking Capacity (Alcohol Tolerance Test)

June 10, 2015

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: SELF HELP – DO YOU KNOW YOUR DRINKING CAPACITY (Alcohol Tolerance Level).

Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal: 
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

SELF HELP – DO YOU KNOW YOUR DRINKING CAPACITY ?

How to Test your Alcohol Tolerance Level 

Nowadays – most youngsters – boys and girls – drink alcohol.

Sadly – many youngsters do not know how to enjoy drinking and get the best from alcohol.

The evidence of this is the increased propensity towards drunkenness – which can lead to all sorts of consequences – including – personal harm, misbehaviour, violence, brawls, date rape, drunk driving accidents etc

The Navy taught me many things. 

One of the things I learnt in the Navy was how to drink alcohol.

After around 25 years of enjoyable drinking – I quit drinking around 15 years ago.

For the benefit of posterity – I wrote a series on HOW TO DRINK ALCOHOL and posted it online on my blogs in the year 2011 – and revised versions later – in 2012 and 2013.

Recently – during a “Cocktail Party” – which was more of a drunken spree with wild dancing – I observed many persons who got terribly drunk and made a spectacle of themselves.

From time to time – you hear of the increasing number of drunken driving accidents.

All this prompts me to delve into my “alcoholic archives” and post – once again – Part 4 some of my series on “How to Drink Alcohol” on the topic HOW TO FIND OUT YOUR DRINKING CAPACITY (Alcohol Tolerance Level)

Every individual has a different drinking capacity – and if you want to avoid getting drunk – you must know your alcohol tolerance level.

Below this article – I am giving the links to my posts (Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6) of my series on HOW TO DRINK ALCOHOL.

Cheers – Enjoy !!!

HOW TO DRINK ALCOHOL – Part 4

HOW TO DISCOVER YOUR DRINKING CAPACITY or ALCOHOL TOLERANCE LEVEL
( “Flash Point” and “Fire Point” Method )
By
VIKRAM KARVE

HOW TO DISCOVER YOUR DRINKING CAPACITY or ALCOHOL TOLERANCE LEVEL – “Flash Point” and “Fire Point” Method (By Vikram Karve)

HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU DRINK

It is best not to drink alcohol.

But if you do drink then you must ask yourself: “Why do I drink?”

You drink because you want to “feel good”.

If you drink too much you will get drunk.

When you get drunk you hardly feel or remember anything – since your senses are dulled.

But if you get inebriated – in your intoxicated and drunken state – you will make a fool of yourself – and you may embarrass your near and dear ones.

And on the morning after your alcoholic binge – you will certainly feel miserable when you come to your senses from your drunken stupor – and suffer the pains of a terrible hangover.

The Moot Question is HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU DRINK ?

If you drink too little – well then – there is no point in drinking alcohol at all

You might as well have some fruit juice – or a soft drink – or a glass of milk. 

You may find it laughable – but at some parties – I have seen some persons just holding a drink in their hands for keeping up appearances. 

They do this because they want to project a “proper” image before their hard drinking bosses and colleagues – and they don’t want their hard-drinking colleagues and friends to call them a “sissy”. 

There is no shame in being a teetotaller – in fact you should be proud of it

By the way – after over 25 years of “work hard  play hard  drink hard”Navy Style Living – I too am living a life of sobriety for the last 15 years.

I write this series as I wish to share my drinking experiences with you – and enable you to take more out of alcohol than alcohol takes out of you.

So – if you want to truly enjoy drinking  you must drink just the right amount of alcohol that makes you feel good.

The aim of drinking alcohol is to feel high  not to get drunk 

(And – of course – the aim of drinking is not to remain dead sober as a teetotaller – in which case it is a waste of good liquor)

So – here is the answer to the question “How Much Should You Drink”:

You must never drink just to “keep up appearances” to avoid being called a “prude” or a “sissy”.

If you drink too little – well then – there is no point in drinking alcohol at all – besides it a waste of good liquor (and your money).

You must drink enough – just that much so that you feel high – but you must not get drunk.

And – for achieving this delightful “high” state – you must know your drinking capacity which depends on your alcohol tolerance level. 


HOW TO DISCOVER YOUR DRINKING CAPACITY 

Well – it was through sheer serendipity that I discovered my drinking capacity.

This method worked for me. 

To find out whether it works for you – do try it out – at your own risk – and tell us how it worked for you.


INGREDIENTS REQUIRED for “Flash Point” and “Fire Point” Test

You will need the following which you must keep handy on a table next to your chair:

1. A Bottle of Rum or Whisky or adequate quantity of your regular drink (If you drink shots – line up enough of them up).

2. A Book (with comfortable font size)

3. Water


“FLASH POINT” and “FIRE POINT” TEST METHODOLOGY

Before I describe the technique – let me impart to you some “theory”.

If you were a science student – you must have performed a chemistry laboratory experiment to find out the FLASH POINT and FIRE POINT of a fuel. 

You start heating the volatile liquid. 

The flash point occurs when the fuel exhibits a flash. 

The fuel is heated further – and the fire point occurs when the volatile material catches fire and starts burning and continues to burn.

Applying the same analogy to drinking alcohol – you can say that your “flash point” occurs when you are “high” 

Yes – at your “flash point” you have reached your drinking capacity.

If you keep on drinking after your “flash point” – then you will reach your“fire point” – which is an inebriated state of drunkenness.  

Your aim is to remain happily high around your “flash point” – and in no circumstances must you cross your “fire point”.

But – how do you find out your “flash point”?


TEST PROCEDURE – 10 SIMPLE STEPS

Here is the technique of how to “measure” your “flash point” or drinking capacity in 10 simple steps:

1. Drink a glass of water

This is to stabilize you in case you are dehydrated – and to get you ready for the experiment.

2. Pour your normal drink.

3. Pick up the book and start reading.

4. Keep drinking at your normal pace and also keep reading continuously

Take your time – sip your drink – and focus on the book. 

If you finish your drink – pour another one. 

Keep on drinking as long as you can read easily and comprehend clearly what you are reading.

5. The moment you reach a state where your concentration starts wavering you are reaching your “flash point”

As you drink and read – a point will come when you can read the words – but you realize that you are not clearly registering what you are reading in your mind. 

This is your “flash point”.

At your “flash point” you will be in that delightful state of alcohol induced emotional flux which makes you feel “high”.

6. If you continue drinking beyond your “flash point” – you will reach a hazy state where the words in the book appear blurred and you have difficulty in reading  as your eyes may not focus properly.

You have now reached your “fire point” (alcohol induced intoxication).

7. Once you reach your “fire point” – you must stop drinking alcohol immediately.

Now drink a glass of water and relax. 

Soon – you will gravitate back from your “fire point” towards your “flash point” – and feel less drunk.

However – if you continue drinking beyond your “fire point” – you will get inebriated and become drunk.

8. Measure the amount of liquor you have drunk to reach your “flash point”.

9. Repeat this experiment a number of times (on different days).

10. By successive iteration – fine tune the results – and soon you will know your drinking capacity (alcohol tolerance level).


ALCOHOL TOLERANCE LEVEL

There is a saying: “First you drink alcohol – and then the alcohol drinks you”.

Similarly – till you reach your “flash point” – you are the one drinking alcohol – you have reached the limit of your control but you still have control.

Near your “flash point” you will experience the “high” feeling which alcohol gives you and you must stop drinking at once – you will remain “high” for sometime – enjoying the euphoric sensation – and then you will have a pleasant relaxing feeling as the “high” gradually tapers off – and this is the best time to drift off into a nice sleep.

Once you reach your “fire point” you will lose control – and the alcohol will take charge of you – and it is the alcohol which will “drink” you and you will get drunk.

Let me sound a note of caution.

If you drink frequently – your alcohol tolerance will increase.

Increased Alcohol Tolerance means – that after continued drinking – consumption of a constant amount of alcohol produces a lesser effect – which means that larger amounts of alcohol are necessary to produce the same effect

Thus – you will need to drink more alcohol to reach your “flash point” to get a “high”. 

In effect – your “drinking capacity” increases. 

As you continue drinking – this has a snowballing effect.

Having a great drinking capacity may be a “macho” thing to boast about – and may win the admiration of your friends and colleagues.

However – high alcohol tolerance indicates a propensity towards alcoholism in later years – so you better watch out.

High alcohol tolerance is not necessarily something to be proud of.

Regular consumption of alcohol will raise your drinking capacity – which in turn will tempt you drink more to reach your “flash point”.

And if you continue this habit you may develop alcohol dependence – and you may eventually slip into the abyss of alcoholism.

So – if you realize that your “flash point” has increased – it is best to abstain from drinking for a few days – till your “flash point” falls to a reasonable level.

The less you drink – the better it is for your body – so in fact it is advantageous to have a low drinking capacity.

But then – you must remember never to cross your “flash point”.

Avoid binge drinking and competitive drinking which can damage your health.

Like I said in the beginning – it is best not to drink alcohol – but if you do drink – remember, as Winston Churchill once said – that – you must take more out of alcohol than alcohol takes out of you.

And how do you do that – well that I will tell you in my series on the golden rules of drinking alcohol.

Happy “Flash Point”

And may you never reach your “Fire Point”

Remember: The aim of drinking alcohol is to feel high – not to get drunk 

Do let me know if this “Flash Point” and “Fire Point” method helped you discover your drinking capacity.

Here are some other posts in my Series HOW TO DRINK ALCOHOL (links open in new window):

1. DOES ALCOHOL BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOU?
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

2.NEVER DRINK WHEN YOU “NEED” A DRINK
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

3. DRINK TO FEEL NICE – NOT TO GET DRUNK
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

4. BOOZE WISDOM – ARE YOU A BORN ALCOHOLIC
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

5. THE HIGHER YOU GO THE MORE YOU DRINK
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

6. HOW TO QUIT DRINKING
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

Cheers !!! 

I look forward to your feedback.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This article is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. So please do due diligence before trying out this technique.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)


This series on HOW TO DRINK ALCOHOL was first written by me Vikram Karve in Oct 2011 and Posted Online by me Vikram Karve a number of times on my blogs since 2011 including at urls http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201… and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201… etc

Now Re-Posted by Vikram Karve at 6/10/2015 10:56:00 AM

Humor in Uniform – THE HAPPY NAVY – Hilarious “Memoir” from My Wonderful Navy Life

May 25, 2015

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: Humor in Uniform – THE BOOZY NAVY.

Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal: 
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

HUMOUR IN UNIFORM

Here is a “memoir” from the happiest days of my life – my early days in the Navy.

This hilarious story happened more than 37 years ago – in the 1970’s …

THE BOOZY NAVY
A Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE


TÊTE-À-TÊTE

Lieutenant “Z” was transferred to Kolkata (or Calcutta – as the city was called in the 1970’s – but I will use the present name Kolkata in this story).

The “powers-that-be” thought Lieutenant “Z” would be very happy since Kolkata was his hometown.

But Lieutenant “Z” seemed very upset and he rushed to his ship’s Captain to get his transfer cancelled.

“We thought you would be happy – Kolkata is your hometown,” the Captain said.

“Sir – I don’t want to leave the ship…” Lieutenant “Z” said.

“Oh – it’s good to see that you are a true ‘sea-dog’ and you like the tough life at sea – but then – you have to go ashore…” the Captain said.

“But – Why – Sir…?” Lieutenant “Z” asked.

“See – you got your ‘watch-keeping ticket’ last year – and you have served for more than one year on board as a sea watch-keeping officer – and you will be due for your ‘Long Course’ after 2 years…” the Captain said to Lieutenant “Z”.

“Sir – I can spend these 2 years on board this ship – or some other ship – but I don’t want to go to Kolkata – especially in that shore appointment…” Lieutenant “Z” said.

The Captain was getting exasperated – so he said a bit angrily: “Look here Lieutenant “Z” – there is a bloody shortage of ships and sea billets – and we have plenty of young officers waiting for their watch-keeping tickets – so you will have to cool your heels ashore for 2 years till your ‘Long Course’ comes through…”

“Okay – Sir – if I have to go ashore – then please change my transfer to some other place – I do not wish to go to Kolkata…” Lieutenant “Z” said.

“I just don’t understand you – what’s wrong with Kolkata – it is your hometown – you can be with your parents, family and friends – I personally talked to DOP to get you this appointment – your CO at Kolkata is my friend and he is an excellent officer – he will give you a thumping ACR…” the Captain said.

“Sir – I don’t want to go to Kolkata…”

“Lieutenant “Z” – I am warning you – if you act funny – we will send to ‘Kala Pani’ in the Andaman…” the Captain said threateningly.

“Sir – please send me to the Andamans…”

“Are you crazy…? Why don’t you want to go to Kolkata…? Have you some family problems…?” the Captain asked.

“Sir – Booze is expensive in Kolkata…” Lieutenant “Z” said, matter-of-factly.

“What…? What do you mean ‘Booze is expensive in Kolkata’…? Is that the reason why you do not want to go there…?”

“Sir – the only worthwhile perk we get is ‘concessional liquor’ – that is why I want to remain on board ship so that I can enjoy ‘duty-free booze’ – but if I have to go ashore – please send me to a place where ‘Military Booze’ is cheap – Sir – the price of CSD Quota Liquor in Bengal is 3 times more expensive than the price out here in Maharashtra…” Lieutenant “Z” said.


(This story happened in the 1970’s – when CSD Quota Liquor was cheapest in Maharashtra. However – since tax concessions are given by State Governments – and local taxes/concessions keep changing from time to time – the situation may be quite different now – but even now – the prices of CSD Quota Liquor vary from state to state – so ‘Military Booze’ is cheaper in some states – and more expensive in others)

Now – after this brief aside – let us continue with the interesting tête-à-tête between Lieutenant “Z” and his Captain…


“So – you wanted to remain on board this ship so that you can enjoy cheap ‘duty-free booze’…?” the Captain asked.

“Yes – Sir…” Lieutenant “Z” said.

“And you even prefer to go to the Andamans because booze is cheaper there…?”

“Yes – Sir…”

“It seems that you joined the Navy to drink liquor…!”

“Yes – Sir…”

“What nonsense…? Are you crazy…?”

“Sir – the main reason I joined the ‘Boozy Navy’ was to enjoy the best of ‘duty-free’ booze – that is why I want to be on ships – but if I have to go ashore – the least I can do is to enjoy my full quota of CSD ‘Military Liquor’ at the cheapest possible rates…”

“Are you mad…? Are you saying that the only reason why people should join the defence services is to drink alcohol…? That means – according to you – teetotallers should not join the Navy – or the Military…?”

“Sir – I told you before – the only worthwhile perk we get in the defence services is ‘concessional liquor’ – so what is the point of wasting your life in the military if you are not going to enjoy this exclusive ‘Fauji Perk’ of ‘Military Booze’…? And if you don’t drink – if you are a teetotaller – you might as well take up a civilian job, live a comfortable life, and earn plenty of money…” Lieutenant “Z” pontificated.

“I am a strict teetotaller – I don’t touch alcohol…” the Captain said, “…are you saying that I am wasting my time in the Navy…?”

“Sir – just think of all the ‘Duty-Free’ Booze and CSD Quota Liquor you have missed out on in all these 25 years of your service…” Lieutenant “Z” said – with genuine regret in his eyes.

“You are a crazy bugger…! Just get out my cabin…” the Captain shouted at Lieutenant “Z”.


EPILOGUE

Two things happened after this amusing tête-à-tête between Lieutenant “Z” and his Captain.

Firstly – the Captain picked up the phone and spoke to the DOP who was his course-mate.

The DOP had a big laugh when the Captain told him the reason why Lieutenant “Z” wanted his transfer changed.

Since there was no billet available in the Andamans (where booze was the cheapest those days) – DOP did the next best thing possible – and – Lieutenant “Z” was transferred as a Divisional Officer to NDA near Pune where the price of CSD Quota Liquor was the same as in Mumbai since both were in Maharashtra State.

Secondly – the Captain asked his steward to serve him a chilled can of premium imported beer (available dirt cheap at ‘duty-free’ rates on board ship).

This was his first sip of booze ever since he joined the Navy more than 25 years ago.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. This Story and All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

 

“HAPPY” NEW YEAR – a story before you freak out at your New Year’s Eve Party

December 30, 2014

“HAPPY” NEW YEAR
(Do read this story before you freak out at your New Year’s Eve Party)

Link to my original post in my academic and creative writing journal:
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/12/happy-new-year.html

“HAPPY” NEW YEAR
A Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

From my Creative Writing Archives:Here is a story I wrote 8 years ago on New Year’s Eve – on 30 December 2006, to be precise.I think it is worth a read before you head for your New Year’s Eve Party…

“HAPPY” NEW YEAR – a Story By Vikram Karve

She licked the salt from her hand and drank the shot, in one go, then had a long swallow of beer that met the tequila’s burn as it rose.

Everyone clapped and cheered.

With that one act she had crossed the barrier.

She was no longer the rustic girl from the mofussil.

Now, she was one of “them”.

No longer would she have to hear those derisive jeers and taunts which pierced her heart – dehati, behenji etc – for now she would “belong”.

“Hey, Mofussil Girl, that’s not the way to have a shot,” Cute Girl said.

“Please don’t call me Mofussil Girl,” she said.

Then Mofussil Girl looked at Cute Girl.

Cute Girl was one of those sophisticated synthetic urban beauties who looked real chic.

Cute Girl was Mofussil Girl’s role model.

“Then let me see you do a Los Tres Cuates,” Cute Girl said.

“What’s that?” Mofussil Girl asked.

“Come on Mofussil Girl, don’t you know what’s a Los Tres Cuates – ‘The Three Chums’ – The Tequila Slammer?” Cute Girl said.

“No,” Mofussil Girl said.

“It is the best way to drink Tequila. Look, I will show you how it is done,” Cute Girl said.

Cute Girl put some salt on her palm, licked it off, downed the neat tequila shot in one gulp down her throat, picked up a wedge of lime and pressed it between her teeth, biting hard into it.

“See – that is how you do a Los Tres Cuates – now you do it,” Cute Girl said.

Mofussil Girl sprinkled some salt on her left palm and picked up a tequila shot from the bar with her right hand.

“Be careful,” a voice said, “It’s her first time.”

“Oh, come on, Killjoy. She’s a tough girl. She’ll drink all of us under the table,” Cute Girl said.

It was now or never.

Mofussil Girl knew that once she proved her capacity to drink she would gain real respect and acceptance in this crowd and she would truly be one of them.

She downed the shot in one go.

As soon the tequila shot hit the pit of her stomach, a rash of gooseflesh raced up from her insides, tremors reverberated through her body up the back of her neck resonating into her brain and she felt her as if her brain might explode – like a terrible black orgasm.

And then she felt a high – a high like she had never felt before.

Everyone cheered Mofussil Girl.

Then a voice said, “Let’s drink to that,” and they all had a few shots of Tequila – in quick succession – one after another – one after another – shot after shot – till they were swinging high.

“Let’s hit the dance floor,” someone shouted, and propelled by unseen hands Mofussil Girl was in their midst swinging away on the dance floor to the rocking music.

The atmosphere in the disco was electric, fantastic, like she had seen in the movies.

Mofussil Girl felt wonderful, mesmerized, and with her inhibitions dissolved in the alcohol inside her, she let her hair down and danced so unabashedly and vigorously that soon she lost herself in the ultimate state of frenzied ecstasy she had never felt before.

This was the hep, hot and happening way to celebrate New Year’s Eve – not sitting with a pizza and ice cream watching the boring New Year’s Eve programme on TV like she had done for the past few years and like her roommate was doing right now.

Mofussil Girl danced continuously without break.

The dance-floor was packed with bodies, rubbing against each other.

Suddenly, the lights went off and it was pitch dark.

The DJ announced, “Ten seconds left for the New Year.”

And then he began counting: “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1” and suddenly all the lights came on and everyone seemed to have gone berserk.

Hooters, whistles, horns, drums, shouts – all had raised the noise level to a din.

Total strangers hugged and kissed Mofussil Girl wishing her a Happy New Year.

The reverberating music, the wildly passionate crowd, the dancing strobe lights, the intense smoke, the fantastic cacophony, her sheer excitement and the intoxicating alcohol inside her – it made Moffusil Girl’s head swim so much that she negotiated her way and swayed across to the nearest sofa and slumped down on it.

Moffusil Girl tried to focus on the dancing couples.

Everything was a bit hazy.

Moffusil Girl’s head began to swim even more and she felt thirsty and reached out for the glass of water across the table.

As she stretched across the table she swayed and rolled back uncontrollably into her chair.

Her stomach seemed to be full of mercury, ice-cold and enormously heavy.

Her face felt hot and beads of perspiration began to appear on her forehead.

She pushed herself forward again, trying to reach the glass, and knocked it across the table.

Her brain began to fade, and she leaned her elbows helplessly on the glass edge of the table and felt her head fall on her wrists.

“You’re okay?” Cute Girl asked.

“I don’t know,” Mofussil Girl said.

“Come,” Cute Girl said holding out her hand, “Let’s get some fresh air.”

Mofussil Girl took Cute Girl’s hand and followed her like a zombie into the dark.

Outside it was cold, and in her drunken haze Moffusil Girl could barely sense the maze of hands groping her, supporting her unsteady body and propelling her towards the car park.

Mofussil Girl felt there were two persons within her as result of the baleful double personality that comes into being through drunkenness – the first acted as if without any brain at all, in a mechanical, vacant manner – and the second observed the first quite lucidly, but seemed entirely powerless to do anything.

“Shove her in the backseat,” a male voice said.

“And you come in front,” the man in the driver’s seat said to Cute Girl.

The car drove off into the darkness.

Hearing a shuffling noise on the rear seat, the driver asked, “Hey, what are you guys up to?”

“Giving her a drink,” a male voice said.

“Be careful, she’s already had too much to drink,” Cute Girl said.

“Just priming her up!”

“It may be her first time.”

“Really? Then she’ll need more priming. I’ll give her one more swig.”

And then the man roughly forced the bottle into Moffusil Girl’s mouth.

“Shall we do it here?”

“No. Not in the car. We’ll go to our usual place.”

“Shit! Bloody Shit!”

“What happened?”

“She’s puking.”

“What?”

“She is filthy drunk! She is vomiting all over me. Stop the car before the whole place is covered in puke.”

They stopped the car.

“She’s badly sick,” Cute Girl said, “It was her first time and she’d had too many shots. I told you not to force booze down her throat.”

“What do we do?”

“Let’s clean her up and go ahead.”

“Shit! She’s still puking. She is vomiting all over the place. It’s bloody nauseating. I have lost it.”

“Disgusting! Let’s dump her here.”

“Here? No. Let’s drop her back,” Cute Girl said.

“Drop her back? Are you crazy? And ruin our New Year’s fun?”

“We’ll get into trouble.”

“She’s so drunk that she won’t remember a thing when she wakes up in the morning.”

So they dumped Mofussil Girl in a desolate spot and drove away to enjoy the New Year.

Wallowing in her stinking vomit and shivering uncomfortably, Mofussil Girl stared vacantly into the dark sky, never so frightened, never so alone.

She wanted to cry – but tears refused to well in her eyes and her throat felt dry.

Her recollections and images of the terrible night were just vivid flashes in a void.

Her head throbbed with pain and her body ached as she retched again and again – puking again and again – till there was no vomit left inside her.

Feeling totally shattered and enveloped by unimaginable agony she lapsed into a zombie-like state of suspended vacuum.

The urbanization of Mofussil Girl was complete.

And at exactly the same moment, Moffusil Girl’s roommate was drifting off to sleep tucked in her comfortable warm bed, after watching the boring New Year’s Eve Programme on TV.

Moffusil Girl’s roommate was full of envy as she imagined her friend Mofussil Girl having a great time at the New Year’s Eve Party.

She wished she had accompanied Mofussil Girl to the grand New Year’s Eve Bash.

Wondering with envy how Moffusil Girl was enjoying her New Year Party, the curious roommate dialled Moffusil Girl’s cell phone number to wish her a Happy New Year.

The mobile phone kept ringing in Moffusil Girl’s puke-drenched purse.

But Mofussil Girl did not answer the phone.

Mofussil Girl did not answer the mobile phone because she was in a drunken stupor, totally inebriated, dead drunk, passed out stone-cold, in a state of unconsciousness, oblivious to her surroundings.

So Moffusil Girl’s roommate sent Mofussil Girl an SMS: “Happy New Year”.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Revised Version of My Story written by me in December 2006 and First Posted Online by me Vikram Karve at Saturday, December 30, 2006 in my blog at url: http://vikramwkarve.blogspot.in/…

FOODIE HUMOR IN UNIFORM – COLD CUTS

March 27, 2014

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: COLD CUTS – Humor in and out of Uniform.

Click the link above to read the original post in my blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal

The story is also posted below for your convenience:

HUMOUR IN AND OUT OF UNIFORM
COLD CUTS
Navy Foodie Memories
By
VIKRAM KARVE
This happened almost 30 years ago, in the mid 1980’s.
The moment I reported to IAT Pune, I was immediately given a “bum job” – Mess Secretary of the Officers’ Mess (of course, in addition to my primary instructional duties).
I duly reported to the President Mess Committee (PMC) in the Mess Office.
“Welcome to the IAT Officers’ Mess,” the PMC, an Air Force Group Captain said, “well, the first thing you will have to do is the valedictory dinner coming up this weekend – plenty of bigwigs are coming, so let’s have a grand affair.”
After uttering those words, the PMC disappeared, leaving everything to me.
I called the mess staff and I was delighted to see that there were two navy sailors – a cook and a steward.
I recognized the cook at once – he had served with me on a ship a few years ago and was now a Petty Officer.
I looked at the cook and said, “Let’s have a cold cuts spread for the valedictory dinner – like we used to have on the ship. I think it will be ideal for a hot summer evening.”
The cook’s face brightened up, and he said, “Very good idea, Sir. It will be a nice change from the usual butter chicken, mutter paneer, daal makhani menu.”
“Let’s have a Naval Pudding too,” I said.
“Sir, I can make Diplomat or Trunk of Tree,” the cook said.
“Let’s have both,” I said, “and we will have a lavish cold cuts spread which everyone will remember for a long time.”
On the morning of the dinner, I personally went along with the cook to the market and stores in Pune Camp to select the assorted cold cut meats and other ingredients.
 
I wish I could show you pictures of the lavish Mixed Cold Cuts Buffet Spread we had laid out on Banquet Tables on the plush lawns of the IAT Officers Mess, but this happened 30 years ago, so the best thing I can do to whet your appetite is to upload from the internet some delicious “food porn” pictures of cold cuts. This should give you an idea of what the delectable array of meats in a cold cuts buffet looks like and how scrumptious and fulfilling a cold cuts banquet is. I am sure your mouth will salivate when you look at these delicious pictures of the succulent cold cuts.
 
 
                                          COLD CUT MEATS
 
                                                        COLD CUTS PLATTERS
 
 
 

 COLD CUTS BUFFET SPREADS

COLD CUT MEAT AND SEAFOOD PLATTER

 (Just imagine entire tables with such delicious mixed meat cold cuts spreads)


The valedictory dinner was a grand success.

Everyone appreciated the cold cuts buffet spread.
The PMC and I were sitting in his Office, feeling good in a self-congratulatory mood, when Colonel “S” walked in.
Colonel “S” was most unhappy with the dinner.
“What sort of menu is this for a party dinner?” he complained.
“Everyone says the dinner was excellent – even I enjoyed the food,” the PMC countered.
“All of you are carnivores – in the dinner there were only meats and meats – ham, salami, sausages, mutton, chicken, fish, luncheon meat…god knows what all was there – but there was nothing for vegetarians like me.”
“Sir, there was Russian Salad…” I tried to say.
“S” interrupted me, “There was egg in there…”
“Egg? In the Russian Salad? I don’t think so – though they do put in a few chopped boiled eggs in Russian Salad sometimes, I don’t think last night’s Russian Salad had eggs…”
“But it had mayonnaise – there is egg in mayonnaise – and one of the puddings had egg too – in the custard – this is total injustice to vegetarians – the only thing I could eat was those bread rolls, terribly tasting cheese and a few raw vegetables,” complained“S” bitterly.
“Okay, your point is noted,” the PMC said.
After “S” had gone away, the PMC said, “These bloody Pongos can’t appreciate good cuisine – I think we will have the standard Army Style party menu next time.”
So, for the next dinner party we had the standard greasy “Fauji” party menu.
But “S” was still unhappy.
“S” started his sob story: “For the non-vegetarians there was chicken curry, fish fry, mutton…”
“Mutton..?” I said, surprised.
“In the small eats – don’t think I didn’t see the heaped plates of Boti Kababs, Seekh Kababs, Shami Kababs along with the Chicken Tikka, Fish Finger and Prawns – and for the vegetarians there were only peanuts and wafers…”
“And mixed pakoras – cauliflower, palak, potato, onion…” I added.
“S” interrupted me and asked, “Where is the equivalence?”
“Equivalence?” I said, nonplussed.
“Yes, where is the equivalence between the food served to non-vegetarians and vegetarians?” asked “S”.
“Sir, in last evening’s menu for vegetarians we had paneer, daal, palak, vegetables – all these have plenty of protein and vitamins just like non-veg dishes – healthwise they have the same, maybe even better nutritional value…” I said.
“Who is talking of nutritional value? I am talking of monetary value. I have calculated the cost of all the non-veg food you served last night – it is double the cost of the veg menu – and you charge the same amount of party share to veg and non-veg…”
“Sir, please…”
“And in that bloody western style cold-cuts party of yours – the disparity was even worse – it is total injustice for the vegetarians…” said “S” bitterly.
I was getting fed up of his diatribe so I said to the PMC: “Sir, let Colonel “S” organize the next party – let him decide whatever menu he wants.”
“S” readily agreed and the PMC gave his okay.
At the next party, the buffet spread out on the dining table was a bonanza for vegetarians – paneer shahi korma, mutter mushroom, malai kofta, dal makhani, Navratan Korma in rich Cashewnut gravy laden with pineapple and other fruit and a rich dry fruit embellished pulao – in short, the works.
 
And on the non-veg side of the table there was just a measly looking chicken curry, as if “S” had personally supervised it.
As usual, I was well prepared for the party and had built up a good appetite – a game of 6-a-side hockey, a swim in the NDA pool, followed by 6 large pegs of Hercules Rum had made me happily high and voraciously hungry.
I had a look at the measly looking chicken curry.
I ladled in a leg piece of chicken and some curry on my plate.
I noticed “S” looking at me – he had a gloating look of triumph and victory.
I looked at the array of delicious dishes on the vegetarian table.
I could not resist the temptation, so I crossed over and started heaping my plate with the vegetarian delights.
“S” suddenly appeared by my side, “You are non vegetarian. Why are you taking vegetarian food?”
“Who says that a non-vegetarian cannot eat vegetarian food?” I countered “S” – and then I said to him: “And who is stopping you from eating non-veg food? If you want you can also have non-veg food. In fact, you should have enjoyed the delicious cold cuts that day.”
 
The PMC was overhearing our tête-à-tête.
 
“Yes, a non-vegetarian has the best of both worlds, especially in the services,” the PMC commented, tongue-in-cheek.
 
 
MORAL OF THE STORY
 
If you are a pure vegetarian, it is best to steer clear of the navy (army and air force too).
 
And yes, the same applies if you are a teetotaller non-drinker too.
 
But that is another story which I have already told you earlier – remember the story of THE “MAUKATARIAN” FREELOADER ?
 
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 
 
Disclaimer:
1. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
2. Pictures in this blog post are downloaded from the internet from free images websites with thanks and courtesy
Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 


WHY NAVAL OFFICERS AND SAILORS DO NOT CLINK GLASSES – A NAVY SUPERSTITION – A Naval Yarn

December 18, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: A NAVY SUPERSTITION – WHY SAILORS DO NOT CLINK GLASSES.

 

Please click the link above and read the Naval Yarn in my creative writing journal. The same is also posted below for your convenience.

A NAVY SUPERSTITION

WHY NAVAL OFFICERS AND SAILORS DO NOT CLINK GLASSES


At the start of a party or drinking session, whenever Civilians or Pongos clink their glasses, you may notice that a Naval Officer does not clink glasses but will just hold up his glass in his hand and say “Cheers” followed by a toast.
Sailors don’t clink glasses.
Here is the reason why:
WHY SAILORS DO NOT CLINK GLASSES
A Naval Superstition
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Most people clink glasses when they meet over a drink and make a toast for good luck and health.
However, Naval Officers never clink glasses when they make a toast. They just hold up their glasses and say “Cheers” and voice the toast.
The reason for this is as follows.
In the early days of the past, when a sailor died at sea, his body was buried at sea, committed to the deep waters, to the Davy Jones’s Locker at the bottom of the ocean.
The ship’s bell would be sounded 8 times as a mark of respect to the departed soul of the deceased mariner during the funeral service for burial at sea.
In a ship at sea, 8 bells are sounded at the end of a watch.
The 8 bells sounded at the funeral of the sailor signified “End of the Watch” for the sailor.
This the striking of “Eight Bells” (a nautical euphemism for “finished watch”) during burial at sea symbolized the obituary of the dead seaman and was a way of pronouncing that the dead sailor’s duty watch was finished forever.
The sound of clinking glasses is similar to the solemn toll of the ship’s bell as the body of a dead sailor was committed to the deep.
Thus, it was assumed that the clinking sound will herald the death of a sailor.
Hence, clinking of glasses on board ships was considered a bad omen.
There was another superstition to lessen the gravity of the evil portent in case a sailor inadvertently clinked his glass.
The sailor quickly silenced a clink that had mistakenly occurred with his hands or he quickly clinked a second time. It was thought that this would confuse the devil enough so that he might take a soldier instead.
Of course, this is all a myth, a superstition.
But the next time you see someone reluctant to clink his glass do ask him if he is a sailor.
Dear Reader: Tell me, do you find interesting these Naval Yarns I spin occasionally? You do?  Okay, I will continue spinning yarns whenever I am in the mood.
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 
Did you like this yarn?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

HE-WOMAN – THE DILEMMA OF A LADY ARMY OFFICER

December 5, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: HE-WOMAN.

Click the link above to read the original story in my creative writing journal.

The story is also posted below for your convenience.

HE-WOMAN
Short Fiction Story – A Yarn
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This yarn is a spoof, a figment of imagination. Please read this short story only if you have a sense of humour. So first convince yourself that you have a sense of humour and only then read the yarn, take it with a pinch of salt, and have a laugh.
“Good evening.”
“Good evening, Sir.”
“May I join you?”
“Of course, Sir.”
“There is a party going on outside and you are sitting here all alone in the bar, drinking rum and drowning your sorrows. Come on outside and enjoy the party.”
“Please, Sir. It you could please excuse me. I am feeling a bit low.”
“I know. He told me. That is why I have come to talk to you.”
“He told you, Sir?”
“Yes. He told me that you proposed to him, asked him to marry you, and he turned you down. So you are feeling really bad, are you?”
“I loved him, Sir. I thought he loved me too. His rejection has shattered me, Sir.”
“He is feeling bad too. In fact he is feeling so guilt-ridden and embarrassed that he has requested for an immediate transfer from here, even if he is posted to a field area. He told me your proposal for marriage came as a complete surprise.”
“Surprise? We’ve been such good friends and we got along so well. I thought he would love to marry me and was feeling shy to propose to me. So I asked him to marry me and thought he would be delighted and say yes. I was totally shocked when he refused. I just don’t know why he doesn’t want to marry me.”
“Tell me, how many men want to marry manly women? How many men want a wife who gives their machismo a competition? I think you intimidate him by your demeanour.”  
“I don’t understand, Sir.”
“He told me he likes you as a friend, as a buddy, but he cannot visualize you as a wife.”
“He can’t visualize me as a wife? Why, Sir?”
“In your endeavour to be “one of the boys”, you have actually started exhibiting male traits – you walk like a man, you talk like a man, you laugh like a man, you dress like a man, you even drink like a man – your bearing, your actions, your demeanour, I have noticed that you do almost everything like a man – in your desperate ambition to prove yourself in the army you try to outdo the men themselves.”
“But what can I do, Sir? I am the only lady officer in this unit and I am surrounded by male officers. And the soldiers are all men. I am a woman in a man’s profession. I must project a tough image.”
“Tough image? So that is why you are putting on an act and trying to pose as a “macho” man? You know, sometimes image can become reality. This can be dangerous. Remember one thing. When a woman tries to masquerade as a man, sometimes she may land up being a he-woman.”
“He-woman?”
“Yes. That’s what they have nicknamed you. He-woman!”
“That’s terrible, Sir. They shouldn’t make fun of me like that.”
“Tell me, were you shopping at the Mall near Main Street on Sunday evening? There was a gang of girls with you, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Sir. I had gone out with my college friends.”
“You all had plenty of ice cream at the food court.”
“Yes, Sir. How do you know?”
“I was there.”
“But I didn’t see you, Sir.”
“But I did notice you. You were looking so pretty in that bright red dress. You are so fair, so good-looking, that any bright colour suits you so well. I must say that I never imagined you can look so beautiful.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“Then why do you deglamourize yourself when you are in the unit?”
“Sir, I can’t deck up in uniform.”
“No one is asking you to deck up in uniform. And I know you have to dress a bit soberly out here in the evenings too. I am just asking you bring out the girl hiding inside you. Just be yourself. There is no need to put on a macho act and try to look harsh. That’s why you are becoming a he-woman. Nature has made you a woman. Why are you trying to be a man? Why don’t you be your natural self? Why don’t you be a woman? I hope you understand what I am trying to convey.”  
“Yes, Sir.”
“Well, it is for you to resolve your role ambiguity. You have to decide for yourself. Remember, a he-man is attracted to she-woman. But if you are still adamant on being a he-woman then you better start looking for a she-man.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“What yes sir? Come, let’s go out and join the party.”
“You go ahead, Sir. I’ll go to my room, freshen up and get myself organized for the party.”
“Organized?”

“I’ll put on something good, Sir, and I think I need to doll up and prettify a bit. I want to look beautiful and desirable, like a she-woman.”
“That’s good. But remember one thing.”
“What, Sir?”
“You are my adjutant. Tomorrow morning, in office, I want my he-woman back in action!”
 
 
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 


Did you like reading this story?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my book  COCKTAIL an anthology of Short Fiction.
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:

http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925
 
Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 
 

DO NOT TAKE THAT FIRST STEP ON THE WRONG ROAD – MOTIVATION PEP TALK for Students – An Inspirational Lecture

September 8, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: BEWARE OF THE FIRST STEP ON THE WRONG ROAD – PEP TALK – THURSDAY MORNING MOTIVATION – An Inspirational Lecture.

Click the link above and read the article in my journal

Article also posted below for your convenience

An Inspirational Lecture
BEWARE OF THE FIRST STEP ON THE WRONG ROAD
PEP TALK
By
VIKRAM KARVE
When I was a small boy, my grandfather used to tell me a saying in Marathi, which roughly translated meant:
If you don’t want to go a certain town, then why take the road going towards that town?
Well, obviously, the word “town” is a metaphor and can mean anything undesirable – it can be a habit, a person, a place, a career, a value system, yes the word “town” can mean anything you consider undesirable, detrimental, harmful or damaging to you.
For example, if you want to enjoy good health, why smoke that first cigarette?
Your first cigarette will lead to the next, and then the next, and gradually smoking will become a habit and soon you will get addicted to smoking tobacco. 
 
Then, when you realize that smoking is adversely affecting your health, it will become difficult for you to quit smoking and retrace your steps and “rewind” back to where you started from before you had your first smoke.
It is the same with alcohol and other addictions. By the time they realize that alcohol is adversely affecting their health, they may have already become alcohol dependent and it becomes difficult for them to quit drinking.
If you do not want to become an alcoholic, why have that first drink of alcohol? 
(Yes, if your chief objective in life is to become an alcoholic, then it is a different story altogether – please go ahead and have that first drink and many more and embark on your life’s journey towards achieving your long term life goal of becoming an alcoholic).
Why experiment with drugs when you don’t want to become a drug addict?
Many young persons fall victim to “peer pressure” – yes, I have seen so many youngsters taking that first step in the wrong direction under peer pressure.
That is why you must select your friends carefully.
Why make friends with individuals whose behaviour and life-goals are not in congruence with your own goals, aims and purpose in life?
It is the same with gambling too. If you don’t want to become a gambler, then why go to the race course or casino or play teen-patti?
Some will argue that you must try out all these “vices” for curiosity sake, but then remember the saying “curiosity killed the cat” – sometimes your “first step” experimenting dangerously can go awry and ruin your entire life. The risk is just not worth it.
(It is easy to pontificate and give moral lectures to others, but let me tell you from first-hand experience that I too started drinking and smoking after I joined the Navy in 1977 mainly due to peer pressure and the “conducive” social environment around me and it took me more than 25 years to give up these “minor vices” and permanently quit smoking and drinking. I never fancied playing cards or gambling, and though I did enjoy going to the races occasionally, it was primarily because I enjoyed the sport rather than the betting and “punting”) 
This metaphor (Why take the “first step” in the direction of the “town”  you don’t want to reach) is relevant in other important aspects of life as well.
If you want to remain honest, why pay or accept a bribe in the first instance? Why associate with corrupt and dishonest persons? 
 
If you are an ethical and morally upright person, why take up a job or business which requires you to be morally pliable and where there is so much corruption that an honest person cannot survive?
If you want to achieve spiritual goals in life, why befriend “sharaabis and shabaabis”(drunk and debauched persons)? 
 
Is it not better to spend time with like-minded spiritually inclined people? 
 
If Godliness is your goal, then is it not better to attend satsangs rather than indulge in wild rave parties and freak out in drunken orgies?
If you desire a life of tranquillity and inner peace, why take up a career or job which is fast-paced, hectic, stressful and “noisy”? 
 
Isn’t it better to look for comparatively hassle-free vocation which is in harmony with your values and goals in life?
Why start a “work-hard, party-hard” social lifestyle which is not in harmony with your long term life-goal of a peaceful, tranquil and healthy life?
Well, if your life’s ambition is to be a “Page 3” celebrity, then it is a different matter altogether, and you must choose your “first step” accordingly in that direction.
Decide what you want (the destination “town” you want to reach) and then go in that direction.
But don’t take the road which leads towards the “town” where you don’t want to go?
Why go in the direction of a place you don’t want to reach?
Why travel towards a wrong destination?
Remember, once you embark upon a “journey” it will be difficult to retrace your steps.
If you are going in the wrong direction, one day you will realize that you are on the wrong road of life and you will want to turn back to where you began your “journey” and then reorient yourself and start “walking” on the “right” road towards your actual goal.
Time and tide wait for none, so it is not possible to “rewind” your “clock”.
Now just imagine the amount of time and resources you have wasted in travelling on the “wrong” road just because of that one small “first step” you took in the “wrong” direction.
That is why, when you are at any crossroad of life, the first step you take in a certain direction is important, for once you begin your journey in that direction it is difficult to stop, turn around, retrace your steps and come back to the starting point. Then after coming back to the crossroad point, from where you had started your journey, you may now decide to start “walking” in the direction of the “town” where you actually wanted to go. But it may be too late.
I am not being judgemental.
It is your life.
You have to decide what you want from life and where you want to go.
And once you have decided the destination “town” you want to reach, then take that first bold step in that direction and bash on regardless on the road that leads to your chosen “destination”.
It may be apt to quote the words of the Chinese Taoist Philosopher Lao Tzu: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”
All the Best.
Decide your goal, take your first step in that direction, and march on with full gusto till your goal is reached.
 
VIKRAM KARVE 
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html


COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
  

 

WILL SATYAMEV JAYATE DISCUSS ALCOHOLISM – a social evil

June 30, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: WILL SATYAMEV JAYATE DISCUSS ALCOHOLISM.

 

WILL SATYAMEV JAYATE DISCUSS ALCOHOLISM

More than a month ago I wrote a blog post (given below for your convenience) wondering whether the problem of Alcoholism would be discussed on Satyamev Jayate. 
I got a comment from a handle called Bombay Sound that there is an episode on Alcoholism scheduled to be aired in June 2012 and that I should not miss it.
The month of June is over. Alcoholism affects all strata of society. Earlier alcoholism was a male-dominated malaise, now even women have started falling victim to the disease of alcoholism, especially in urban metros.  I hope there is an episode on this important social issue of Alcoholism and they telecast the episode in Satyamev Jayate tomorrow or maybe soon.
Meanwhile, do read the post below and give your comments, views and feedback. 

ALCOHOLISM
A Major Social Problem
By
VIKRAM KARVE
There is a country liquor bar on the main road near my house in Pune. 

You probably will not believe it, but the bar opens at 6 o’clock in the morning and you will be surprised to know that there are customers eagerly waiting for their first drink of the day.

This morning on my way to Taljai Hills for my morning walk, I saw a familiar face – that comparatively well dressed man who is unfailingly there every morning waiting for the country liquor bar to open. 

He was shaking with Delerium Tremens (DT) as he desperately craved for his first drink of the day – his early morning dose of alcohol.

On my way back I saw that this man was dead drunk and was being helped into an auto-rickshaw to drive him to his house since he was so inebriated that he was in no condition to walk the short distance to his house. 

He would be back after a few hours for his second drink, then a third, maybe a fourth, and the same sequence of events would repeat themselves.

Someone told me that this man was once a successful manager in the corporate world, but his alcoholism had ruined him and reduced him to this state where he could afford only country liquor. 

They said that the man who now looked like a skeleton was once a handsome healthy sportsman before his alcoholism destroyed him.

The man lived with his joint family, his wife, his brothers, their wives, children, grandchildren, et al. 

Owing to his alcoholism he was a big embarrassment to his entire family and the only reason they had not thrown him out was because he owned the bungalow where they lived. 

But they did not allow him to drink at home and that is why he came to the country liquor bar. 

Someone said that his family members had made all efforts to make him give up drinking, but in vain, and now they had given up hope and were fed up with his drinking and were waiting for him to die.

There was a time when there was prohibition in Maharashtra and you could not drink alcohol in Pune. 

But that was long back – maybe around 50 years ago. 

Now liquor flows freely and there are bars and shops selling booze all over. 

A large number of people, from all strata of society, from all age groups ranging from students to senior citizens, drink alcohol regularly, and many become dependent on alcohol and risk ruining their lives by turning into alcoholics.

It is a common sight to see totally inebriated people lying dead drunk in a state of unconsciousness on the roads and footpaths of Pune throughout the day. 

This evening I saw a sorry spectacle of a wife and small son trying to lift a drunkard (who had fallen down outside the bar on the pavement). They wanted to take the inebriated man home. But, in his drunken stupor, the man was hurling filthy abuses at his wife and son. 

I have witnessed young boys and girls pass out drunk. 

Some are unable to hold their liquor and they puke and wallow in their vomit after binge drinking sessions at high-falutin watering holes which have sprouted all over the place to cater to the alcoholic cravings of the nouveau-riche IT Nerds and wealthy students. 

It is a disgusting sight to see these youngsters in this terribly intoxicated state.

Most youngsters start drinking because of peer pressure and try to show off their drinking prowess and land up getting drunk.

In these places, drunken brawls are quite commonplace and drunken driving is on the rise.

Someone told me that the scourge of alcoholism is a Pan-India phenomenon, rapidly proliferating in urban as well as rural areas, in villages, towns and metros, penetrating in all strata of society, and, you may be surprised, but many women too are succumbing to this disease.

Alcoholism is a disease and the effects of alcohol are worse than tobacco. 

Smoking affects the smoker whereas alcoholism affects the entire family and society around too. 

They say that smoking ruins your body, affects you physically, but alcohol affects both your body and your brain, and, in the long run, damages you physically and mentally too. 

Like smoking, alcohol has an adverse effect on health. 

But unlike smoking, efforts are not being made to discourage people from drinking alcohol. 

In fact, easy availability of alcoholic drinks and lack of taboo due to increasing globalisation of culture, are facilitating, even encouraging, consumption of alcohol.   

All of us need to be made aware of the dangers of drinking alcohol and to what extent alcoholism has affected our country and society. 

I wish Aamir Khan and the director Satyajit Bhatkal and his team cover this topic in Satyamev Jayate.

Making people aware of a problem is the first step towards solving the problem. 

Satyamev Jayate has done yeoman’s service by creating awareness of the ills plaguing our society like female foeticide, child sexual abuse, health issues and many such relevant issues. 

I hope this program will highlight the dangers of alcoholism, both in our rural and urban society.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com
      


© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Do You Want to Give Up Booze – HOW TO QUIT DRINKING THE EASY WAY – ALCOHOL DE-ADDICTION MADE SIMPLE

June 12, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: HOW TO QUIT DRINKING THE EASY WAY – ALCOHOL DE-ADDICTION MADE SIMPLE.

Click the link above if you want to quit drinking (article also posted below for your convenience)

HOW TO QUIT DRINKING THE EASY WAY – ALCOHOL DE-ADDICTION MADE SIMPLE

This morning someone told me he wants to quit drinking. 
I told him it is easy. 
Here’s how to quit drinking the easy way – a piece I wrote many years ago, once more for your perusal.
If you want to quit drinking or smoking or some other habit, do try it out, or tell a friend who wants to change his lifestyle. 
Force Field Analysis technique worked for me. 
Does it work your you?
Dear Reader, do comment and give me your feedback.
QUIT DRINKING THE EASY WAY
ALCOHOL DE-ADDICTION MADE SIMPLE
THE FORCE FIELD ANALYSIS METHOD
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Many years ago, at work, I used to employ a Management Technique called Force Field Analysis in Project Management.

Now I improvise the Force Field Analysis Model to great effect and success, in my personal life too for self improvement, to break bad habits – to change my life for the better.

So can you.

Let me give you an example.

It was a tough and stressful working day.

It was hot and humid, I was tired, sweating profusely, my throat parched with thirst, and as I walked home late in the evening, I found myself opposite my favourite bar.

I stood outside the bar and looked yearningly at my favourite watering hole. I was tempted, overcome by a strong craving, desperate to have a glass of chilled beer.

Nothing to beat a glass of cold beer to drive my blues away – the “panacea” to my “stressed-out” state!

But I did not go into the bar.

Instead, I rushed to the nearest Chaatwala and had some pani-puri.

The moment I put the first pani-puri in my mouth, the intense overpowering medley of sweet and sour, pungently hot, fiery and spicy flavor of the chutneys, jal jeera and “pani” overwhelmed me and made my craving thirst for beer disappear pretty fast and enabled me to stick my resolve of giving up drinking.

I had suitably improvised the concept of “Force Field Analysis” to break my drinking habit and then keep it that way.

Long back, I had quit smoking too, and to stay that way, make sure I did not start smoking again, I had used force field analysis with great success.

Force Field Analysis provides a framework for looking at the factors or forces that influence a situation or activity.

Restraining Forces are those which inhibit or discourage the occurrence of a particular activity

and
Driving Forces are those which promote, facilitate and encourage the occurrence of the same activity.

Let’s say Driving Forces are positive anchors

and
Restraining Forces are negative anchors
(similar to the anchors in NLP)

Let’s take the case of drinking. 

Sit down, close your eyes, and introspect.

Can you identify the stimuli, the triggers, and the situations, the driving forces, which create in you the desire and give rise to the urge to drink?

These driving forces can be anything, internal and external, tangible or intangible. These driving forces that encourage you to drink can be people, situations, events, parties, tendencies, moods, foods, social factors, organizational trends, practices, norms.

Do a simple exercise.

For the next week, or even a month, be yourself, live as you do, but mindfully record all the occasions on which you had alcohol and carefully list the driving forces that motivated you to drink.

Was it a social event, party, friends, as an aperitif before some gourmet food, a sip of rum to enhance the pleasure of smoking, a shot of tequila to get you dancing, a drink of whisky to get you in the “creative” mood, a potent exotic cocktail for reducing inhibitions or enhancing excitement as a prelude to sex, a quick shot of booze to pep you up and eliminate your tiredness, a neat shot of rum or whisky down the hatch to dive you Dutch Courage, a few drinks in company of friends to enhance your happiness, celebrationdrinking in solitude to get rid of depression, boredom, or to obliterate memories of some people, sad memories, in moods of self pity, jealousy, inner craving, addiction…?

Do it thoughtfully and make an exhaustive list of the driving forces that urge you to drink alcohol.

Now, make a list of restraining forces that discourage or inhibit you from drinking.

Introspect – for you what are those things that restrain you from drinking.

Concern for health. Wife’s nagging. Physical Exercise. Values, religious and cultural taboos, regulations like prohibition and no drinking zones, work and hobbies, social encouragement of temperance?

Some types of foods too are effective restraining forces.

For me, pani-puri, bhel, jal jeera, lassi are quite effective.
Also I lose the urge to drink after a hearty fulfilling satiating meal.

Through self-awareness, mindful living and personal experience, record these restraining forces meticulously.

Now all you have to do to quit drinking is the following:

1. Strengthen the restraining forces (that restrain you from drinking)
2. Mitigate and weaken the driving forces (that cause a craving for alcohol or urge you to drink)
and, most importantly,
3. Where possible, change direction of some driving forces and convert driving forces into restraining forces by using techniques from concepts like NLP, 4T etc or, best of all, your own improvised techniques (like the in lieu substitution method I have evolved for myself).

Learn how to tactfully and effectively avoid drinking.

Suppose your friends try to force you, taunt you saying you are a sissy, spoil sport, killjoy etc simply say, “I really must go,” and leave the place.

Remember what Epictetus said: 

If you want to do something make a habit of it
If you want not to do something refrain from doing it.

I have also read somewhere:

If want to be happily married, remain in the company of happily married people.

Always be with likeminded people whom you want to emulate.

If you want to stop drinking try to be in the company of non-drinkers.

Avoid situations which encourage drinking or elicit craving for alcohol.

Substitute healthy activities like physical exercise, recreation and creative hobbies instead of drinking.

If you are serious about giving up drinking, you may even have to change your lifestyle, your friends, and your activities as some of these may be driving forces which egg you on to have a drink.

Identify your stimuli, triggers, situations, people and anchors, internal and external, tangible and intangible – the driving forces that create in you the urge to have a drink, encourage and facilitate drinking and mitigate these driving forces by improvising force field analysis as it suits you best.

Force Field Analysis works for me.

Dear Reader, do let me know if it works for you.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?
I am sure you will like the stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. To order the book please click the links below:

http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the link below:
AMAZON

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and he is currently working on his novel. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: 
http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  
https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: 
http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: 
vikramkarve@sify.com        
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

HOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT HAVE AN EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR – Long Distance Marriage Management

March 7, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: HOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR HUSBAND DOES NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR – Long Distance Marriage Management.

Click the link above to read some good advice on long distance marriage management in my journal

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