Daily Life Tips : “to do” or “not to do”

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“TO DO” or “NOT TO DO”

Lifestyle Management Tips By Vikram Karve

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PART 1

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“TO DO” LIST

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When I was in the Navy – I always had a “to do” list or a “slop chit” (in Naval parlance).

It was standard Naval Practice for Navy officers to carry a “slop chit” in their pocket at all times – especially in work-intensive appointments like those on board Warships and in Naval Dockyards.

At the start of the day – we wrote down all the jobs to be done on the “slop chit”.

When a task was completed – we struck off that entry – and whenever there was a new job to be done – we added that job to the “slop chit”.

The tasks which remained incomplete at the end of the day – we transferred to the next day’s page.

I am sure you maintain such “to do” lists too – nowadays you can maintain these “slop chits” in digital form on your mobile cellphone, smartphone, ipad, tablet – or on your laptop too.

At work – these “to do” lists are “obligations” you have to perform in return for the money your employer pays you as salary.

Sometimes – the “obligations” can be non-monetary too – like marital obligations towards your spouse – or familial obligations towards your family, children, grandchildren, parents or relatives – or a commitment you have made to friends, colleagues, or some person or group of people.

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In short:

“to do” lists are related to “obligations”.

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PART 2

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“NOT TO DO” LIST

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Now that I have retired – I have a “not to do” list.

Now – for a Veteran like me – there is no need for a “to do” list as far as “work” is concerned.

Once you retire – you don’t work for anyone – you do not have an employer who pays you money – so you have no obligations as far as “work” is concerned.

There is no “job” for you to do – and hence – there is no need to maintain a “slop chit” or “to do” list as far as “work” is concerned.

In most cases – by the time you retire – your children have “flown away” from your nest – so you do not have any parenting responsibilities either.

Yes – even after retirement – you may have some “bare minimum inescapable obligations” – like essential daily chores, paying bills etc.

In India – even after retirement – they hassle you with sundry issues.

For example – all pensioners have to visit their banks in November every year to render a “life certificate” in person in order to prove that they are alive.

Various types of bills and taxes are to be paid, returns are to be filed, banking work has to be done – but you can reduce these to the “bare minimum inescapable requirements”.

You must try to delegate these tasks to someone else.

Or you can use information technology to do these tasks online with minimal effort.

To put it in a nutshell – once you retire – your aim should be to minimize these sundry tasks to bare minimum.

Now – once you have reduced these so-called “inescapable” tasks to the bare minimum – almost zero – then you will find there is no need to maintain a daily “slop chit” or a “to do list” for these very few “inescapable” tasks.

However – in order to enjoy bliss – you must make sure you do not get tied down in unnecessary “obligations” which will eat into your time (like Parkinson’s Law).

In fact – after retirement– what you must do every day – is to maintain a daily “not to do” list.

Yes – you must maintain a “not to do” list.

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PART 3

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“TO DO” or “NOT TO DO” 

MANTRA FOR BLISSFUL RETIREMENT

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After retirement – you are supposed to enjoy a peaceful and blissful retired life “doing nothing”.

Every person has a different concept of how to enjoy “blissful retirement”.

I like to spend my time reading, writing, blogging, social networking, watching TV and taking long walks – especially food-walks.

Some of my ex “fauji” friends like to play golf every morning followed by chilled beer with their Navy buddies talking of the “good old days”.

There is a crazy guy who is enjoying his retired life indulging in adventure sports – despite his age.

Some like to spend their time indulging in spiritual activities.

Others travel – many take up a hobby – and some involve themselves in social activities.

Everyone has different ideas of “Bliss” – “to each his own bliss” – as they say.

I know what “blissful retirement” means for me.

You know what “blissful retirement” means for you.

Every individual knows his or her idea of “Bliss”.

So – after retirement – “blissful retirement” will be the only item on your daily “slop chit” or “to do” list.

Yes – after retirement – ideally – there will be just one item on your “to do” list – to enjoy “BLISSFUL RETIREMENT”.

Thus – there is no need for you to maintain an exhaustive “to do” list.

Now – you have only one “to do” item in your life – to enjoy blissful retirement.

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PART 4

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“NOT TO DO” LIST

MUST FOR SENIOR CITIZENS

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In order to enjoy retirement – what you must maintain is a “not to do” list.

Your “not to do” list will include all those activities which impede or interfere with the enjoyment of “blissful retirement”.

Whatever hassles you – those burdensome but unnecessary obligations and activities which waste your time and cause you stress – just put them on your “not to do” list.

I have realized that – after retirement – what you decide “not to do” is more important than what you decide “to do”.

The “not to do” list need not be not restricted to activities alone.

You must have a “not to do” list for people too.

Maybe v you can call it a “not to meet” list.

Yes – your “not to do” list must include a “not to meet” list as well.

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NB:

I have given examples from retirement.

But – this concept of “not to do” list is applicable throughout your life.

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PART 5

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“NOT TO MEET” LIST

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Let me give you a simple example of a “not to meet” situation from my life.

Long back – in the Navy – I once had a “toxic” boss who I did not like.

This boss hassled me – and he induced stress in me.

Our “vibes” just did not match.

Even just being in his company was stressful for me.

Now – this boss had decreed that he would have a meeting at 9 AM every morning.

He wanted everyone – including me – to be present.

Since I was working in the Navy – I had no choice but to put the 9 AM meeting on the “to do” list – though I would rather have this painful morning meeting with the boss on my “not to do” list.

In the morning – this boss would ask us about our work – and then micromanage – ordering us to report on progress from time to time – and though I hated it – I had to put all this on my “to do” list – the progress reports which entailed meeting or speaking to the boss – which I totally hated to do.

These frequent interactions with my boss during the day caused stress in me so one day I decided “enough is enough”.

So – after meeting the “bare minimum inescapable requirement” of the 9 AM morning meeting – I put my “toxic” boss on my “not to meet” list for the rest of the day – and – I adopted a series of “evasive measures” to discourage the boss from meeting or calling me.

After some time – the boss got the message and he stopped trying to micromanage me or monitor me – and – he would never call me – unless there was a real emergency.

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PART 6

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“NOT TO MEET”

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It is best to put people who hassle you on your “not to meet” list.

Now – I have retired – I am my own boss – and I am a “free bird”.

There is no obligation for me to meet anybody.

I can decide who I want to meet – and who I do not want to meet.

So now – I have a “not to meet” list of toxic people I do not wish to meet.

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Important Note:

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In today’s technology driven connected world – your “not to meet” list should also include those toxic persons who you don’t want to “meet” online – or interact with on social media – or talk to on smartphone – so – you must ruthlessly block all such persons on your “not to meet” list – on all digital media – so that they keep out of your life and don’t become a source of stress for you.

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PART 7

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MAKE TWO LISTS – “NOT TO DO” LIST and “NOT TO MEET” LIST

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Yes – you must make two lists:

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1. Things you don’t want to do = “not to do” list

2. Persons you don’t want to meet = “not to meet” list

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FREE CHOICE – “TO DO” or “NOT TO DO”

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Similarly – just before my final retirement – I was a Professor – and my “to do” list comprised the lecture assignments and guidance of research work which were an “obligation” – since I was paid a salary.

Now – after retirement – I am often invited to deliver guest lectures and conduct training programs – but since I am under no obligation – I am free to decide whether “to do” or “not to do”.

And – if I decide “to do” – then I do so on my own terms.

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WHY WAIT FOR RETIREMENT…?

Why not make your “NOT TO DO” and “NOT TO MEET” LISTS right now…?

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I will let you in on a secret.

I had started practicing this “not to do” and “not to meet” strategy long back in the early stages of my career – albeit covertly and tactfully.

How did I manage “not to do” and “not to meet” lists during my career…?

Those tricks I will tell you some other time – but I am sure you can use your ingenuity to devise your own techniques.

For example – in order to make your “not to do” and “not to meet” strategy succeed – you may have to project an “abrasive personality” – and – you may have to practice “creative incompetence”.

As you grow wiser with experience – you will realise that the “not to do” and “not to meet” lists are closely intertwined.

So – you need not wait for retirement to make your first “not to do” and “not to meet” lists.

You can do it right now.

During your career you will have to be a bit canny while practising this – I could do it in the Navy.

Of course – once you retire you can do it brazenly.

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So – Dear Reader – why don’t you start right now…?

Every morning – instead of a “to do” list – you must make a “not to do” list.

Of course – like I said earlier – the “not to do” list must include “not to meet” list as well.

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In a nutshell:

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1. Decide what “NOT TO DO” – rather than – what “TO DO”.

2. Decide who “NOT TO MEET” – rather than – who “TO MEET”.

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Implement this daily “life management strategy” – and you will see your efficiency rise – your mood become better – and – your stress will disappear.

As I said earlier – you will realize that – deciding what “not to do” may be more beneficial rather than deciding what “to do”.

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Dear Reader:

Why don’t you try this “not to do” and “not to meet” strategy from today and see how it works for you…?

And – do remember – in today’s technology driven connected world – your “not to meet” list should also include those toxic persons who you don’t want to “meet” online – or interact with on Social Media, WhatsApp, LinkedIn, Quora, Twitter, X, Facebook, Instagram, Clubhouse etc. – or toxic people with whom you don’t want to talk on smartphone etc.

So – you must ruthlessly block all such persons on your “not to meet” list – on all digital media – so that they keep out of your life and don’t become a source of stress for you.

Try this “not to do” and “not to meet” strategy and see if it works for you.

Wish you a Happy Stress-Free Life…

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my source post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/01/new-years-resolution-2019-to-do-or-not.html

This article is also posted earlier in this blog at url:https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/12/30/my-new-years-resolution-2017-to-do-or-not-to-do-to-meet-or-not-to-meet/

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is an Abridged Version of My Article Earlier Posted Online by me Vikram Karve around 10 years ago in the year 2014 at 3/28/2014 09:30:00 PM in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/03/to-do-or-not-to-do-key-to-life.htmland http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/12/not-to-do-and-not-to-meet-lists-to-do.htmland http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/to-do-or-not-to-do-to-meet-or-not-to.htmland http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2016/12/new-years-resolution-2017-not-to-do-and.htmlandhttp://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/01/new-years-resolution-2019-to-do-or-not.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/11/12/life-management-tips-to-do-or-not-to-do/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/01/01/new-years-resolution-2020/  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/03/19/stress-management-tips-to-do-or-not-to-do/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/03/09/lifestyle-management-to-do-or-not-to-do and /https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/03/09/lifestyle-management-to-do-or-not-to-do/ etc

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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The Metro-sexual Gender Role Ambiguity

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: WHEN SHE-WOMEN BECOME HE-WOMEN BUT HE-MEN DO NOT BECOME SHE-MEN : The Metro-sexual Gender Role Ambiguity.

Click the link above to read the article in my Journal

Vikram Karve

RETIREMENT – A Guide for Military Officers of the Army Navy and Air Force

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: HOW TO ENJOY RETIREMENT – A Guide for Military Officers of the Army Navy and Air Force.

Click the link above and read the original article in my journal.

Also posted below for your convenience:

HOW TO ENJOY RETIREMENT 

A Guide for Military Officers of the Army Navy and Air Force who want to Enjoy a Blissful Retired Life

Original Post Link: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/01/how-to-enjoy-retirement.html

WHY ARE YOU DOING NOTHING AFTER RETIREMENT

Are You Asked the Quintessential Question:
“What are you doing after Retirement?” or What to do after Retirement?

Musings on Retirement and the Military Officer

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Last Saturday, on the 19th of January 2013, I was delighted to be in the beautiful pristine environs of Girinagar near Pune in the sublime campus of DIAT Deemed University to attend the Raising Day Function of MILIT (Military Institute of Training) which is the new name for IAT (Institute of Armament Technology).

I have spent many fulfilling years of my career as Teaching Faculty at IAT which was indeed the premier institution in its domain.

The best thing about IAT is its lovely verdant campus at Girinagar on the densely forested green slopes of the Sinhagad Mountain Range overlooking the tranquil blue waters of the vast Khadakvasla Lake.

It has a “hill station” like atmosphere and Girinagar is easily the most pristine and picturesque place nearest to the city of Pune.

The beautiful sunset scene viewed from Girinagar Hill is a most enthralling sight.

I was fortunate that I got an opportunity to live so many years of my life in this enchanting place.

In the highest traditions of service the Commandant and Director of MILIT had invited all former and retired faculty of the erstwhile IAT (the precursor and earlier avatar of the newly formed MILIT) – the invitations were personally delivered at home, followed up on phone and we “senior citizens” were picked up and dropped after the function.

The excellent hospitality and courtesy shown to us was indeed praiseworthy and warmed the cockles of our hearts.

It felt good to be back in my “alma mater” and it was great meeting so many old friends, faculty and alumni, and I also enjoyed interacting with young trainee officers.

“Why are you doing nothing after retirement?” asked AP Valavade, an ex Air Force Officer, my erstwhile senior and mentor at IAT, who continues to work, after a successful first, second and third innings, at the ripe age of 72.

Like many others at the function, serving and retired, he had earlier asked me the quintessential question: “What are you doing after retirement?”

And I had truthfully answered: “I am doing nothing.”

This answer led to the admonishment: “Why are you doing nothing after retirement?”

I retired on superannuation from the Navy more than 2 years ago and since then I am leading a truly retired life “doing nothing”.

What is the definition and meaning of retirement?

“Retirement” means “Doing Nothing” – isn’t it?

Many don’t seem to understand this.

So whenever I meet my erstwhile colleagues, and young officers too, they all ask me what I am doing after my retirement and they seem perplexed when I honestly answer that I am “doing nothing” after my retirement.

(Of course, many of my retired colleagues who are actually doing nothing try to put on a pretence as if they are very busy and try to masquerade as if they are doing something important after retirement. Maybe they indulge in this charade as they feel embarrassed to speak the truth and think they will lose face if they say that they are doing nothing).

Now let me talk a bit about the topic – RETIREMENT  and discuss some tips on retirement for Military Officers belonging to the Army, Navy and Air Force.

In most jobs you retire at the age of 60, sometimes even at 65 or 70 if you are a Professor or a Judge or you are a Bureaucrat who has managed an “extension” or a cushy post retirement job.

In some vocations, like business and politics, you never retire and keep on working incessantly till your death.

However, if you happen to serve in the defence services, in the army, navy or air force, you retire early.

If you are an officer, it is most likely you will retire on superannuation at the age of 54 – a few lucky ones may pull on to 56.

Only those who attain Flag Rank (and become Generals, Admirals or Air Marshals) can remain in service beyond that age and retire at 58 or 60 like their civilian counterparts.

However, owing to the steep pyramidal hierarchical organisational structure a very small percentage get promoted to flag rank (I do not have the exact figures but from what I have observed it looks like hardly 1% of the officers who join finally get promoted to flag rank).

Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen retire much earlier – most retire after 15 years service at the prime of their life, in their mid thirties at around 35 years of age. It is not feasible to “settle” your children and complete your familial responsibilities at this young age, so they have no choice and have to take up a second career in the “civvy street”.

Officers are caught midway.

If you want to truly “retire” on your superannuation date, then you must ensure that all your domestic commitments and familial obligations are complete well before you are 54 years of age.

You must have your own “retirement home” to live in and you must have enough savings to lead a decent retired life in these days of burgeoning inflation.

And of course, most importantly, your children should have completed their studies and must be settled in life.

If you can achieve all this before you retire, then you can indulge in the luxury of “doing nothing” after retirement and lead a truly blissful retired life.

If you are in the Navy (or Army or Air Force) it is best not to marry.

If you are a bachelor you will be well looked after by the service.

But if you do want to get married, please marry early and have all your children as early as possible.

Calculating backwards, all your children must be settled in life by the time you reach the retirement age of 54.

This means that you must have all your kids before you reach the age of 30 (assuming that your youngest kid will complete his or her education and get a job by the age of 24).

So you must get married at the stipulated age of 25 (or even earlier if possible).

This is the best case optimistic scenario assuming that your children study well and are good at academics.

Remember that for every child you have after you are 30 you are putting pressure on your retired life and you may not be able to afford the luxury of “doing nothing” after retirement.

Some officers marry late or have children late in life.

I have seen a situation where children were still in school when an officer retired at the age of 54.

The poor guy had no choice but to take up a job and spend many years of his retired life slogging it out in the “civvy street”.

Of course, if you are married to a “career woman” then it is really great and you can enjoy your retirement “doing nothing” while your “breadwinner” wife “brings home the bacon” and “puts bread on the table” to speak metaphorically.

In this respect, Lady Officers are luckier.

At least in the contemporary societal context in India where the concept of a “homemaker husband” is yet to take root, a lady officer is likely to be married to a “career man” and has the luxury of choosing when to “retire” and start “doing nothing”.

The moral of the story is that military officers are at a disadvantage vis-à-vis their civilian counterparts as far as retirement age is concerned.

(If you are a civilian you will retire at 60, or later, and by that age all your familial commitments are likely to be over and you can look forward to a blissful retired life with a higher pension too, due to the additional years of service you enjoy vis-à-vis your disadvantaged military counterpart).

There is great advantage for a military service officer to marry a civil services lady officer so that he can continue to enjoy benefits and perks of his spouse for a number of years after his own retirement.

Dear Reader, if you are a military officer, or are planning to join the army, navy or air force, remember that you are going to retire early.

It will be good if you can plan your life accordingly so that you can enjoy the indulgence of “doing nothing” after your retirement.

And when people have the audacity to ask you the quintessential question: “What are you doing after retirement?” you can nonchalantly and matter-of-factly say: “I am doing nothing”.

AFTERTHOUGHT

There are some retired officers who are “financially secure” and who have completed all their familial obligations.

But they continue to work even after retirement.

Why is this?

There are three reasons:

1. They are workaholics and are incapable of “doing nothing”.

2. They are greedy and do not know when to say “enough is enough” as far as money is concerned. They are never happy with whatever material possessions they have got.

3. They are not content with what they have achieved in life and want to keep chasing elusive dreams and keep aspiring for more and more “success”. These persons are forever in the rat race constantly comparing with others and either they have unrealistic expectations of themselves or they suffer from an “inferiority complex”.

The conclusion from this afterthought is that to be able to “do nothing” after retirement you must be happy wherever you are and be content with whatever you have got.

Wish You a Happy Retired Life “Doing Nothing” – let Every Day of your Retired Life be a Blissful Holiday.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

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About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a large number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Posted by Vikram Karve

 

 

HE-WOMAN – THE DILEMMA OF A LADY ARMY OFFICER

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: HE-WOMAN.

Click the link above to read the original story in my creative writing journal.

The story is also posted below for your convenience.

HE-WOMAN

Short Fiction Story – A Yarn

By

VIKRAM KARVE

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This yarn is a spoof, a figment of imagination. Please read this short story only if you have a sense of humour. So first convince yourself that you have a sense of humour and only then read the yarn, take it with a pinch of salt, and have a laugh.

“Good evening.”

“Good evening, Sir.”

“May I join you?”

“Of course, Sir.”

“There is a party going on outside and you are sitting here all alone in the bar, drinking rum and drowning your sorrows. Come on outside and enjoy the party.”

“Please, Sir. It you could please excuse me. I am feeling a bit low.”

“I know. He told me. That is why I have come to talk to you.”

“He told you, Sir?”

“Yes. He told me that you proposed to him, asked him to marry you, and he turned you down. So you are feeling really bad, are you?”

“I loved him, Sir. I thought he loved me too. His rejection has shattered me, Sir.”

“He is feeling bad too. In fact he is feeling so guilt-ridden and embarrassed that he has requested for an immediate transfer from here, even if he is posted to a field area. He told me your proposal for marriage came as a complete surprise.”

“Surprise? We’ve been such good friends and we got along so well. I thought he would love to marry me and was feeling shy to propose to me. So I asked him to marry me and thought he would be delighted and say yes. I was totally shocked when he refused. I just don’t know why he doesn’t want to marry me.”

“Tell me, how many men want to marry manly women? How many men want a wife who gives their machismo a competition? I think you intimidate him by your demeanour.”  

“I don’t understand, Sir.”

“He told me he likes you as a friend, as a buddy, but he cannot visualize you as a wife.”

“He can’t visualize me as a wife? Why, Sir?”

“In your endeavour to be “one of the boys”, you have actually started exhibiting male traits – you walk like a man, you talk like a man, you laugh like a man, you dress like a man, you even drink like a man – your bearing, your actions, your demeanour, I have noticed that you do almost everything like a man – in your desperate ambition to prove yourself in the army you try to outdo the men themselves.”

“But what can I do, Sir? I am the only lady officer in this unit and I am surrounded by male officers. And the soldiers are all men. I am a woman in a man’s profession. I must project a tough image.”

“Tough image? So that is why you are putting on an act and trying to pose as a “macho” man? You know, sometimes image can become reality. This can be dangerous. Remember one thing. When a woman tries to masquerade as a man, sometimes she may land up being a he-woman.”

“He-woman?”

“Yes. That’s what they have nicknamed you. He-woman!”

“That’s terrible, Sir. They shouldn’t make fun of me like that.”

“Tell me, were you shopping at the Mall near Main Street on Sunday evening? There was a gang of girls with you, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Sir. I had gone out with my college friends.”

“You all had plenty of ice cream at the food court.”

“Yes, Sir. How do you know?”

“I was there.”

“But I didn’t see you, Sir.”

“But I did notice you. You were looking so pretty in that bright red dress. You are so fair, so good-looking, that any bright colour suits you so well. I must say that I never imagined you can look so beautiful.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Then why do you deglamourize yourself when you are in the unit?”

“Sir, I can’t deck up in uniform.”

“No one is asking you to deck up in uniform. And I know you have to dress a bit soberly out here in the evenings too. I am just asking you bring out the girl hiding inside you. Just be yourself. There is no need to put on a macho act and try to look harsh. That’s why you are becoming a he-woman. Nature has made you a woman. Why are you trying to be a man? Why don’t you be your natural self? Why don’t you be a woman? I hope you understand what I am trying to convey.”  

“Yes, Sir.”

“Well, it is for you to resolve your role ambiguity. You have to decide for yourself. Remember, a he-man is attracted to she-woman. But if you are still adamant on being a he-woman then you better start looking for a she-man.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“What yes sir? Come, let’s go out and join the party.”

“You go ahead, Sir. I’ll go to my room, freshen up and get myself organized for the party.”

“Organized?”

“I’ll put on something good, Sir, and I think I need to doll up and prettify a bit. I want to look beautiful and desirable, like a she-woman.”

“That’s good. But remember one thing.”

“What, Sir?”

“You are my adjutant. Tomorrow morning, in office, I want my he-woman back in action!”

 

 

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Did you like reading this story?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my book  COCKTAIL an anthology of Short Fiction.
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

 

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

 

 

Posted by Vikram Karve

POSTIVE VIBES – The Key to Eternal Youth – The Ultimate Anti-Ageing Formula

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: BIRTHDAY BLOG – HOW TO FEEL YOUNG AND YOUTHFUL FOREVER – The Ultimate Anti-Ageing Formula.

Click the link above to read the article in my journal

Article also posted below for your convenience

BIRTHDAY BLOG – HOW TO FEEL YOUNG AND YOUTHFUL FOREVER – The Ultimate Anti-Ageing Formula

BIRTHDAY BLOG

Today, on the 12th of September 2012, I am 56 years old (chronologically). 

Am I old? 

Or am I young?

Well, you may say that I am old, but I still feel that I am a young boy. 

You may not agree with me but I feel that it is better to be “immature” rather than “mature” 

There is a saying that “you are as old as you feel”. 

That is why there are “young senior citizens” and “old senior citizens”.

Soon, I will be officially a Senior Citizen. Surely, I would like to be a “young senior citizen”. How about you?

Here is a piece I wrote sometime back on the subject –  HOW TO REMAIN YOUNG AND YOUTHFUL FOREVER

Do tell me if you like it – I look forward to your comments. 

And hey, don’t forget to wish me a Happy Birthday.

HOW TO BE A YOUNG SENIOR CITIZEN 

The Ultimate Anti-Ageing Formula

Zest for Living and Passion for Learning
By
VIKRAM KARVE

There are a number of retired senior citizens in the colony where I live in Pune. 

 

Yes, there are still large numbers of pensioners living all over Pune though Pune is no longer a pensioners’ paradise.

I have noticed one intriguing thing. 

 

Though most are of these persons are of the same chronological age, some are “young” and some are “old” – yes some appear young and some seem old – after all your age is what you feel.

Further observation reveals the anti ageing formula for remaining young: 

 

Zest for Living and Passion for Learning is the best anti-ageing recipe that keeps you young forever.

 

This is the true elixir of life.

Look around you and you will see what I mean. 

 

There are many oldie-goldies who are living life to the fullest and are always eager to learn new things and there are also other old people who have no “juice” left in them as they have lost the spirit to enjoy learning with enthusiasm and relish the pleasures of life to their utmost.

I know a “young” senior citizen who, after retirement, started learning classical music from the scratch, enjoyed studying for 10 years till he completed his sangeet alankar, living life to the fullest in true epicurean style – good food, music, concerts, plays, movies, travel, picnics, swimming, trekking, playing with his dogs, social work, you name it – he did it … and with the advent of internet he is enjoying moments exploring the mysteries of the web, learning new things and latest technologies, actively blogging with passionate fervour, and with gusto doing all sorts of learning activites, creative writing, surfing, social networking, making virtual friends, teaching music – for him variety is the spice of life. 

 

This young-at-heart senior citizen lives a delightfully active life, loves the company of youngsters and has the enthusiasm and energy of a child – and though in his late seventies he is “younger” than even those chronologically many years his junior and it is his zest for life and passion for knowledge that keeps him healthy, happy and youthful.

Remember you are as old as you feel, not as old as you look, and certainly not as “old” as your chronologically age says you are. 

 

It is in your hands to forever remain a “young” senior citizen.

I will end this piece with a quote from Mahatma Gandhi:

Live as if you are going to die tomorrow

and

Learn as if you are going to live forever

It is breathtakingly simple to remain young forever, Dear Reader. 

 

It is all in the mind.

 

 

HOW TO FEEL YOUNG AND YOUTHFUL

 

Here are some tips on how to feel young and forget your chronological age.  

 

 

1. Spend time in the company of young happy people

 

It is better to spend your time with cheerful younsters who are enjoying life in the present rather than make yourself miserable in the company of pessimistic, gloomy, cynical old fogies who keep living in the past, carping and complaining about the present, and speculating and worrying about the future. 

 

It is better to remain with your family and kids rather than go to a retirement home (old age home). If your children have migrated abroad and you have no choice but to live alone, try to seek the company of youngsters rather that old fogies. In the worst scenario, it is better to live alone enjoying your own company rather than in a demoralizing atmosphere.

 

Teaching and mentoring youngsters (never give unsolicited advice or moral lectures) is rewarding and good too – I love to teach as I enjoy the company of cheerful motivated young students and this keeps me young and enthisuastic about learning too.

 

 

2. Get a Pet Dog 

Another useful anti-aging technique is to get a pet dog and enjoy playing with your dog. 

 

Pet parenting and your pet dog’s antics and will keep you happily occupied, cheerful and healthy, besides ensuring regular exercise as your pet dog will ensure you take him out on walks at least twice a day. 

 

There is nothing more joyful than playing with your dog and talking to him. A dog always remains young at heart, and if you play and talk to your dog, you too will remain young at heart.

 

This morning I gave my dog Sherry a vigorous bath and felt really young and energetic. 

 

A dog will bring out the child in you. A pet will keep you active, happy, young and youthful.

 

 

3. Rediscover your childlike enthusiasm  

 

Stop reminiscing about the “good old days” and start living it up every day doing whatever you like with zest and passion to learn new things like blogging, tweeting, social networking, making real friends and virtual friends with common interests and passions, exploring the mysteries internet and enjoying the benefits of information technology. 

 

Yes, keeping oneself uptodate and abreast of the latest technologies keeps one mentally stimulated. Use technology effectively to keep young. You must Blog, you must Tweet and you must be active on social networking sites like Facebook and Google.

 

4. Re-discover your youthful romantic mischievous side

 

Become “naughty” once again, have fun and discover the beauty and romance of life. Why not harmlessfly flirt a bit? 

 

Remember that the moment you stop appreciating and being attracted to beauty, you have become “old “  and life is not worth living. Yes, there is a saying that the day you lose interest in good food and stop appreciating beautiful women (or handsome men) you become an old man (woman).

 

 

5. Learn new things, develop new hobbies and nurture your creative interests

 

Try to have a positive attitude and optimistic temperament and keep learning new things and nurture your creative interests, hobbies, exercise, play, travel, eat out, see movies, have a ball.

 

Explore your creative side. Discovering new aspects of your creativity and passionately nurturing your interests works wonders for your health and happiness.

 

Keep learning new things, imbibe the latest technologies and avoid becoming obsolescent or obsolete.

 

 

6. Try to be in an Atmosphere of Positive Vibes

 

Try your best to be in an environment of positive feel-good happy Vibes and avoid people, places and activities which generate negative vibes in you. 

 

Do not waste your time reminiscing and regretting the past or speculating and worrying about the future. 

 

In fact, never think of the past or future.

 

You must live in the present. 

 

And most importantly, you must ensure that the present moment is a happy one, and for this, positive “vibes” are the key to making you feel good, cheerful and happy, here and now.

 

 

To sum up, if you want to remain young and youthful forever, all you have got to do is to have a zest for living and passion for learning

First thing in the morning, the moment you get up, recite your new Art of Living Motto:

 

“Live as if you are going to die tomorrow, learn as if you are going to live forever”

 

Dear Reader, here’s wishing you eternal youth – may you remain young forever with a Zest for Living and a Passion for Learning.

 

So Cheer Up and Live it Up…!!! 

 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like reading this article?
I am sure you will like the 27 stories in COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com     

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Posted by Vikram Karve 

 

WILL SATYAMEV JAYATE DISCUSS ALCOHOLISM – a social evil

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: WILL SATYAMEV JAYATE DISCUSS ALCOHOLISM.

 

WILL SATYAMEV JAYATE DISCUSS ALCOHOLISM

More than a month ago I wrote a blog post (given below for your convenience) wondering whether the problem of Alcoholism would be discussed on Satyamev Jayate. 

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/05/will-satyamev-jayate-cover-alcoholism.html

I got a comment from a handle called Bombay Sound that there is an episode on Alcoholism scheduled to be aired in June 2012 and that I should not miss it.

The month of June is over. Alcoholism affects all strata of society. Earlier alcoholism was a male-dominated malaise, now even women have started falling victim to the disease of alcoholism, especially in urban metros.  I hope there is an episode on this important social issue of Alcoholism and they telecast the episode in Satyamev Jayate tomorrow or maybe soon.

Meanwhile, do read the post below and give your comments, views and feedback. 

ALCOHOLISM

A Major Social Problem

By

VIKRAM KARVE

There is a country liquor bar on the main road near my house in Pune. 

You probably will not believe it, but the bar opens at 6 o’clock in the morning and you will be surprised to know that there are customers eagerly waiting for their first drink of the day.

This morning on my way to Taljai Hills for my morning walk, I saw a familiar face – that comparatively well dressed man who is unfailingly there every morning waiting for the country liquor bar to open. 

He was shaking with Delerium Tremens (DT) as he desperately craved for his first drink of the day – his early morning dose of alcohol.

On my way back I saw that this man was dead drunk and was being helped into an auto-rickshaw to drive him to his house since he was so inebriated that he was in no condition to walk the short distance to his house. 

He would be back after a few hours for his second drink, then a third, maybe a fourth, and the same sequence of events would repeat themselves.

Someone told me that this man was once a successful manager in the corporate world, but his alcoholism had ruined him and reduced him to this state where he could afford only country liquor. 

They said that the man who now looked like a skeleton was once a handsome healthy sportsman before his alcoholism destroyed him.

The man lived with his joint family, his wife, his brothers, their wives, children, grandchildren, et al. 

Owing to his alcoholism he was a big embarrassment to his entire family and the only reason they had not thrown him out was because he owned the bungalow where they lived. 

But they did not allow him to drink at home and that is why he came to the country liquor bar. 

Someone said that his family members had made all efforts to make him give up drinking, but in vain, and now they had given up hope and were fed up with his drinking and were waiting for him to die.

There was a time when there was prohibition in Maharashtra and you could not drink alcohol in Pune. 

But that was long back – maybe around 50 years ago. 

Now liquor flows freely and there are bars and shops selling booze all over. 

A large number of people, from all strata of society, from all age groups ranging from students to senior citizens, drink alcohol regularly, and many become dependent on alcohol and risk ruining their lives by turning into alcoholics.

It is a common sight to see totally inebriated people lying dead drunk in a state of unconsciousness on the roads and footpaths of Pune throughout the day. 

This evening I saw a sorry spectacle of a wife and small son trying to lift a drunkard (who had fallen down outside the bar on the pavement). They wanted to take the inebriated man home. But, in his drunken stupor, the man was hurling filthy abuses at his wife and son. 

I have witnessed young boys and girls pass out drunk. 

Some are unable to hold their liquor and they puke and wallow in their vomit after binge drinking sessions at high-falutin watering holes which have sprouted all over the place to cater to the alcoholic cravings of the nouveau-riche IT Nerds and wealthy students. 

It is a disgusting sight to see these youngsters in this terribly intoxicated state.

Most youngsters start drinking because of peer pressure and try to show off their drinking prowess and land up getting drunk.

In these places, drunken brawls are quite commonplace and drunken driving is on the rise.

Someone told me that the scourge of alcoholism is a Pan-India phenomenon, rapidly proliferating in urban as well as rural areas, in villages, towns and metros, penetrating in all strata of society, and, you may be surprised, but many women too are succumbing to this disease.

Alcoholism is a disease and the effects of alcohol are worse than tobacco. 

Smoking affects the smoker whereas alcoholism affects the entire family and society around too. 

They say that smoking ruins your body, affects you physically, but alcohol affects both your body and your brain, and, in the long run, damages you physically and mentally too. 

Like smoking, alcohol has an adverse effect on health. 

But unlike smoking, efforts are not being made to discourage people from drinking alcohol. 

In fact, easy availability of alcoholic drinks and lack of taboo due to increasing globalisation of culture, are facilitating, even encouraging, consumption of alcohol.   

All of us need to be made aware of the dangers of drinking alcohol and to what extent alcoholism has affected our country and society. 

I wish Aamir Khan and the director Satyajit Bhatkal and his team cover this topic in Satyamev Jayate.

Making people aware of a problem is the first step towards solving the problem. 

Satyamev Jayate has done yeoman’s service by creating awareness of the ills plaguing our society like female foeticide, child sexual abuse, health issues and many such relevant issues. 

I hope this program will highlight the dangers of alcoholism, both in our rural and urban society.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Posted by Vikram Karve 

From Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve – ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE.

Click the link above to read the original article in my journal. The article is also posted below for your convenience.

ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE

TRY BEFORE YOU BUY

MUSINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU Part 4

By

VIKRAM KARVE

In continuation from Parts 1,2 and 3 (links given below) – please read these parts but remember to come back here (or if you want why not read Part 4 first, comment, and then go back to the earlier parts)

Part 1: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/why-are-property-rates-so-high-in-wakad.html

Part 2: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/real-estate-prices-in-pune-hype-and.html

Part 3: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/house-hunting-in-pune-5-tips-for-buying.html

Part 4

In the present scenario, what is the best way to buy a residential property in Pune?

This is what we were discussing one evening.

As you know, unlike other investment avenues, where proper systems and regulators are in place, the real estate sector is a free-for-all since till today it remains unregulated and the real estate “industry” does not have the formal status of an industry. We have heard that the government is trying to introduce a proper real estate bill incorporating rules and regulations to introduce transparency in the real estate industry with a statutory regulator, but one never knows how long it will take before this real estate bill is implemented. Till this happens the hapless consumer (the buyer) is at the mercy of the sellers, and so, if you are a buyer you have to be very careful, especially in the present unpredictable economic scenario and volatile political environment.

If you want to buy a house in Pune, here are some options for you. The best option is to “try before you buy” meaning take a house on rent in the locality where you want to buy a house. This will give you a first hand feel of living in that neighbourhood and also give you enough time to do proper market survey and select a house of your choice. Suppose you don’t like the locality, you always have the option of moving to another place.

The next best option is to buy a relatively new resale house. The “teething troubles” (liveability, suitability, as also the legal and technical aspects) will be over by then since the house would have been “lived in” and all technical systems, quality aspects and standard modalities would be established and proven, which is a big advantage.

The third best option is to buy a completed ready-to-move-in (ready possession) house. In case you have taken a home loan you can start reaping tax benefits immediately. Also, in case you are an investor and want to rent out the house you will start getting return on your investment (rental money) immediately.

Well, I write this for the play-safe risk-averse persons who are buying a home as end users for living in by investing their hard earned money. In the current uncertain economic scenario we have observed that there are execution delays in many real estate projects, and since this sector is unregulated, the consumers are quite helpless and there is nothing they can do about it.

We met a person who was supposed to get possession of his home two years ago and this has been inordinately delayed. He had planned that he would be able to move into his own home immediately after his retirement and he would have been able to do so had his house been delivered on schedule. Now, for him, everything has gone for a six. The poor chap is living in a rented house paying a heavy rent. He is also paying a hefty EMI towards his home loan. He cannot claim tax deductions since the house is not ready. He is also losing notional rent (in case he wanted to give the house on rent which he could have used for paying off his EMI and also to get tax benefits). The other day, someone said that there is a cash crunch in the market due to the unpredictable economic climate in the days ahead and this may cause further execution delays and the moment he heard this he was  further demoralized. The poor guy is not sure when he will get possession of his house and this uncertainty is causing him anxiety and stress and taking a toll on his health.

If your peace of mind is affected, this cost cannot be quantified in money.

The lesson we have learnt is that, considering the uncertain situation which may cause execution delays, for simple people like us who are investing their life savings to buy a home, it is best to steer clear of pre-launch offers. Even for under-construction projects it is advisable to have a proper look and satisfy yourself that your house will be delivered to you on schedule.

There is a counter-view that if you have an appetite for risk-taking, then you can make a fortune by investing (speculating) in pre-launch offers. This may be a good idea only if you are confident that the appreciation you will get from your property (taking into account the estimated execution delays and inventory overhang) will far exceed the returns you will get if you put the same amount of money in an Fixed Deposit (@ 10%) or some other safe investment. In the present unpredictable economic scenario and uncertain political environment (with elections round the corner in 2014), do you feel that property rates will appreciate so much in the near future in places like Pune (where the property prices already seem to be too high) that it is wise take a risk and go in for pre-launch offers or is it better to play safe and buy a ready possession house?

As I said, we are novices in this field; so if you are an expert, do tell us what you think.

To be continued in MUSINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU Part 5 …

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this blog post?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

   

 

OFFICERS MESS or WARDROOM – A Place to Promote Camaraderie – DEFINITION AND MEANING OF MESS MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS

Please click the link below to read in my journal (article also pasted below for your convenience) – I look forward to your comments.

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: OFFICERS MESS or WARDROOM – A Place to Promote Camaraderie – DEFINITION AND MEANING OF MESS MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS.

OFFICERS MESS or WARDROOM – A Place to Promote Camaraderie – DEFINITION AND MEANING OF MESS MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS

OFFICERS MESS or WARDROOM

DEFINITION AND MEANING OF MESS

MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS

The Officers Mess – A Place to Promote Camaraderie

By

VIKRAM KARVE

If you have served in the Army, Navy or Air Force or are familiar with Military life I am sure you know what is an OFFICERS MESS

(In the Navy an Officers Mess is called WARDROOM or Wardroom Mess).

OFFICERS is the plural of Officer and surely you know what the term “Officer” means, especially in the context of the Military.

But do you know what the acronym MESS stands for?

I am sure you know, but if you don’t know, then let me tell you.

The acronym MESS is the short form for Maintenance of Equal Social Status.

Yes,  MESS = MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS

The very aim of an Officers Mess is to Maintain Equal Social Status amongst all its members, irrespective of their ranks.

Long back, during a party, I heard an Admiral once say: “All Officers have equal social status. Ranks are for administrative purposes only”.

If I recall correctly, he attributed this maxim to Field Marshal Cariappa who probably felt that excessive rank consciousness at social functions would adversely affect camaraderie amongst officers which would damage cohesion of the officer cadre.

That’s why in an Officers Mess, all members are equal and have the same social status, irrespective of the ranks and positions they hold outside the Mess. Yes, Rank Has Its Privileges (RHIP) but that is outside the Mess. Inside the Mess it is all about comradeship, friendship and fellowship.

So the next time you go to an Officers Mess don’t forget that the abbreviation MESS stands for MAINTENANCE OF EQUAL SOCIAL STATUS.

I have had the best of times and made the best of friends in Wardrooms and Officers Messes. Maybe, I’ll tell you about it, at least a few nostalgic yarns,  sometime later right here in my blog.

Till then, Cheers and Godspeed.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this article?
I am sure you will like the stories in my recently published book COCKTAIL comprising twenty seven short stories about relationships. To order the book please click the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the link below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008). Vikram is currently working on two fiction novels. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com        

Posted by VIKRAM KARVE 

WHAT IS POWER? WHO IS THE MOST POWERFUL? – THE MEANING AND CONCEPT OF POWER – The Story of Alexander and Diogenes

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: WHAT IS POWER? WHO IS THE MOST POWERFUL? – THE MEANING AND CONCEPT OF POWER – The Story of Alexander and Diogenes.

Click the link above and read the article in my journal

THEY DEPEND ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: Marginalised, Lonely, Waiting for Death – THEY DEPEND ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS.

Click the link above and read the article in my journal or read it below:

Marginalised, Lonely, Waiting for Death – THEY DEPEND ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

THEY DEPEND ON THE  KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

Marginalized, Lonely, Waiting for Death

Musings on the state of Middle Class Senior Citizens

By

VIKRAM KARVE

This morning, during my early morning walk, I passed by Mrs. J’s house. I saw J, an 80 year old widow, struggling to walk in her garden. I wished J good morning and asked her how she was. She answered: “I depend on the kindness of strangers.”

For a moment I was speechless. Then, slowly I let her words sink in and perambulate in my mind – “I depend on the kindness of strangers” – these words struck a chord. I was transported back in time, 30 years ago, to the year 1981, if my memory serves me right, when I had seen the play A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE which had a lasting impression on me. I witnessed a performance of the indigenous production of this 1948 Pulitzer Prize winning masterpiece by Tennessee Williams at the Kamani Auditorium in New Delhi directed by Alyque Padamsee with terrific performances by Dalip Tahil as Stanley Kowalski and Sabira Merchant as Blanche DuBois. I still remember the heart-rending scene, when, after being totally destroyed by Stanley, while being taken away to a mental asylum, a shattered Blanche holds onto the doctor’s hand and says: “ Whoever you are – I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”.

Though the context in the play is different, I realized the universal all-encompassing truth encapsulated in those profound words, which were spontaneously uttered by J (who I am sure has not read or seen the play A Streetcar Named Desire).

As I walk around our colony in Pune I realize that there are so many senior citizens living alone who “depend on the kindness of strangers”. In most cases their children live abroad in the USApursuing their American Dream while their parents live a life of loneliness awaiting their deaths back home in India. Also, I notice that the longevity of women seems to be more since there are far more senior citizen widows who heavily outnumber the widowers.

Before you blame the “ungrateful and selfish children” for “abandoning” their “hapless” parents I think you must consider the fact that there are always two sides to a coin (or a story).

Let me give you a bit of a background.

In the 1960s and 1970s I lived in a “middle-class” locality in Pune where parents had two dreams:

First, their son must get into an IIT and go abroad to America to realize the American dream and achieve “success”.

Second, they must get their daughters married to a “successful” American NRI so that she too could go the USA to live a life of prosperity and happiness there.

Many such parents, like J, achieved their dreams, for which they are paying the price today.

Even today, I see so many parents who are desperate to send their kids abroad for higher studies and to settle down there. In the earlier pre-liberalisation days, it was difficult to go to America unless you got into an IIT or topped from a premier University. Today it is much easier. Post liberalisation, if you are willing to spend your money you can easily go for higher studies abroad or you can go there via the IT route (Hence the beeline for IT jobs).

Then or now, the fact of the matter is that it is the parents themselves who encourage (and monetarily facilitate) their children to go abroad or inculcate congruent values that create in the minds of their children the urge to emigrate to America or some other prosperous country for a “better life”.

So who is to blame – the parents or the children?

I ask J, “Why don’t you go and live with your son or daughter inAmerica? Have they refused to take you there? Are your children unwilling to have you live with them?”

“Far from it,” the old lady says, “they want me to live with them over there and keep calling me to relocate permanently to America and stay with them. I have gone there so many times, but I don’t want to live there with them in America. I don’t like it there.”

I am puzzled. It seems very strange. Why should she prefer to live a difficult lonely life out here, full of hardship, when she can live a comfortable life of luxury with the best of facilities and in the company of her children and grandchildren in America?

Why do so many senior citizens prefer to depend on “the kindness of strangers” rather than enjoy the evening of their lives exulting in the love and care of their near and dear ones?

Is it ego? Is it something else? Is there some other reason?

I don’t know. I don’t have the answer. Do you?

If you do have the answer, or wish to share your views on this subject, please comment and let us know.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this blog post?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com      
vikramkarve@gmail.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.