Pune Good Food Guide – EATING OUT IN BIBWEWADI

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: EATING OUT IN PUNE – BIBWEWADI.

Click the link above and read the article in my journal

Also posted below for your convenience

EATING OUT IN PUNE – Bibwewadi

Good Food Places in Bibwewadi

By

VIKRAM KARVE

A list of my favourite eateries (and their signature dishes) in and around Bibwewadi Pune

Breakfast

DAMODAR BHUVAN P 30 (Swami Vivekananda Road)

Misal

Pohe

Lunch

KRISHNAI GARDEN (Swami Vivekananda Road)

Methi Mutter Malai

Pav Bhaji

Evening Snacks (Tiffin)

KALYAN BHEL (Bibwewadi Kondhwa Road)

Bhel

Chaat

Dahi Wada

Dosa

SHRI DURGA DOSA CENTRE (Vivekananda Memorial Khau Galli)

Dosa

Uthappa (Uttapam)

DELICIA (Treasure Park Khau Galli)

Chicken Momo

Dinner

TIRANGA

Mutton Biryani

Chicken Masala

Dessert

GUJAR MASTANI HOUSE (Near City Pride Multiplex)

Bajirao Mastani

Dahi (Curds) Ice Cream

Cuppa (throughout the day)

NAGNATH AMRUTATULYA (Satara Road)

Tea (Amrut Tulya Chaha)

Happy Eating

Posted by Vikram Karve 

MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS AND TRUST DEFICIT

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: TRUST DEFICIT.

Click the link above to read the original article in my journal

Also posted below for your convenience

TRUST DEFICIT

TRUST DEFICIT

Musings on Trust in Relationships

By

VIKRAM KARVE

“Should I tell my would-be spouse everything about my past?”

“Should I share my sexual past with my soon-to-be spouse?”

“Should you tell your spouse about your ex?”

These are common questions which arise in the minds of young people and you can see so many about-to-be married youngsters asking similar questions to “agony aunts”.

Conventional wisdom says that the answer is: “Yes. It is best to be open and honest with your spouse. Be transparent and do not hide anything, for there should be no secrets between husband and wife.”

But, to my surprise I have seen some “agony aunts” advising that being totally honest may not always be desirable and it would be wise to hide your past affairs.”

I find this quite shocking. Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, especially a lifelong relationship like marriage – in fact, trust is the cement that bonds the marriage. Once trust is broken, the “cement” holding together the bonds will disintegrate and the marriage will collapse like a pack of cards. How can you build a marriage on the foundations of mistrust?

There is one more danger if you hide things and keep secrets from your spouse. You will forever live under the fear of being found out, and the “fear of being found out” is a terrible fear which causes great stress and can affect your health.

There is a Marathi Serial currently running on Zee TV Marathi called Tu Tithe Mee which depicts the dangers of hiding your past from your spouse. The story of Tu Tithe Mee portrays in dramatic fashion how a marriage can crumble once a husband unexpectedly finds out secrets about his wife’s past life that his wife has hidden from him – how the smallest seed of mistrust can amplify into a demon of suspicion and create huge distrust which can shake the foundations of marriage.

Why only marriage – trust is the essential ingredient in any successful relationship. Whether that relationship is between two people, between husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, between friends, parents and children, relatives, neighbours, acquaintances, within a family, at the workplace, between boss and subordinate, between peers and colleagues, in project teams, in business and partnerships, in customer relationship management (CRM), in social community, in sports teams, between teachers and students, or between the citizens and the government, or a relationship in any facet of life. Trust is the element that allows the relationship to function effectively.

That is why it is sad to see “Trust Deficit” everywhere. People do not trust each other anymore. Yes, Humans do not implicitly trust each other now-a-days. You can see absolute and total trust only in canine-human relationships – yes, dogs unconditionally trust their human masters and vice versa too.

How can we reduce trust deficit? How can we enhance mutual trust?

Well, there is a management tool called JOHARI WINDOW which can help. 

The concept of the Johari Window is relatively simple. 


Assume that you are the wife (self).


There are things about yourself that you know and there are things about yourself that you don’t know. 


Also, there are things about you that your husband knows and there are things about you that your husband does not know.


Now it is the same with your husband (other). 

There are things about himself that he knows and there are things about himself that he does not know. 


Also, there are things about him that you know and there are things about him that you don’t know.


Now put yourself in the place of Self and put your husband in the place of Otherand have a look at the picture below (called Johari Window based on contraction of the names Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham who developed this tool to help people understand and improve their interpersonal relationships). 

The TRUST in a relationship is directly proportional to the OPEN Area whereas the other areas (HIDDEN, BLIND AND UNKNOWN) are sources of TRUST DEFICIT. Hence, in order to enhance TRUST  and reduce TRUST DEFICIT all you have to do is to increase the OPEN area (also called Arena) and reduce the HIDDEN Area (also called Facade) by Disclosure (Telling) and also reduce the BLIND area (also called Blind Spot) by obtaining Feedback (Asking). The UNKNOWN Area will also start reducing over time as the bonds of your mutual relationships become stronger and stronger and you get to know each other better and better.

TELL (disclosure) and ASK (feedback) each other and give yourself TIME together to reduce the hidden, blind and unknown areas respectively.

Here is how the Johari Windows will look before and after:

BEFORE – AT THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP 
[Open Area or Arena Represents TRUST and the other three areas (Blind, Facade, Unknown) represent TRUST DEFICIT]

AFTER – AFTER YOU WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP
[Notice how the Open Area of Arena (TRUST) has increased and the other three areas (TRUST DEFICIT) are reduced]

So now you know what to do to reduce Trust Deficit in a relationship. Just sit together and work on Johari Window.

This works for me. Why don’t you try it out and see if it works for you. And don’t forget to comment and tell us about it.


All the Best.

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this blog post?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

   

From Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve – ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE.

Click the link above to read the original article in my journal. The article is also posted below for your convenience.

ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING A HOUSE IN PUNE

TRY BEFORE YOU BUY

MUSINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU Part 4

By

VIKRAM KARVE

In continuation from Parts 1,2 and 3 (links given below) – please read these parts but remember to come back here (or if you want why not read Part 4 first, comment, and then go back to the earlier parts)

Part 1: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/why-are-property-rates-so-high-in-wakad.html

Part 2: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/real-estate-prices-in-pune-hype-and.html

Part 3: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/house-hunting-in-pune-5-tips-for-buying.html

Part 4

In the present scenario, what is the best way to buy a residential property in Pune?

This is what we were discussing one evening.

As you know, unlike other investment avenues, where proper systems and regulators are in place, the real estate sector is a free-for-all since till today it remains unregulated and the real estate “industry” does not have the formal status of an industry. We have heard that the government is trying to introduce a proper real estate bill incorporating rules and regulations to introduce transparency in the real estate industry with a statutory regulator, but one never knows how long it will take before this real estate bill is implemented. Till this happens the hapless consumer (the buyer) is at the mercy of the sellers, and so, if you are a buyer you have to be very careful, especially in the present unpredictable economic scenario and volatile political environment.

If you want to buy a house in Pune, here are some options for you. The best option is to “try before you buy” meaning take a house on rent in the locality where you want to buy a house. This will give you a first hand feel of living in that neighbourhood and also give you enough time to do proper market survey and select a house of your choice. Suppose you don’t like the locality, you always have the option of moving to another place.

The next best option is to buy a relatively new resale house. The “teething troubles” (liveability, suitability, as also the legal and technical aspects) will be over by then since the house would have been “lived in” and all technical systems, quality aspects and standard modalities would be established and proven, which is a big advantage.

The third best option is to buy a completed ready-to-move-in (ready possession) house. In case you have taken a home loan you can start reaping tax benefits immediately. Also, in case you are an investor and want to rent out the house you will start getting return on your investment (rental money) immediately.

Well, I write this for the play-safe risk-averse persons who are buying a home as end users for living in by investing their hard earned money. In the current uncertain economic scenario we have observed that there are execution delays in many real estate projects, and since this sector is unregulated, the consumers are quite helpless and there is nothing they can do about it.

We met a person who was supposed to get possession of his home two years ago and this has been inordinately delayed. He had planned that he would be able to move into his own home immediately after his retirement and he would have been able to do so had his house been delivered on schedule. Now, for him, everything has gone for a six. The poor chap is living in a rented house paying a heavy rent. He is also paying a hefty EMI towards his home loan. He cannot claim tax deductions since the house is not ready. He is also losing notional rent (in case he wanted to give the house on rent which he could have used for paying off his EMI and also to get tax benefits). The other day, someone said that there is a cash crunch in the market due to the unpredictable economic climate in the days ahead and this may cause further execution delays and the moment he heard this he was  further demoralized. The poor guy is not sure when he will get possession of his house and this uncertainty is causing him anxiety and stress and taking a toll on his health.

If your peace of mind is affected, this cost cannot be quantified in money.

The lesson we have learnt is that, considering the uncertain situation which may cause execution delays, for simple people like us who are investing their life savings to buy a home, it is best to steer clear of pre-launch offers. Even for under-construction projects it is advisable to have a proper look and satisfy yourself that your house will be delivered to you on schedule.

There is a counter-view that if you have an appetite for risk-taking, then you can make a fortune by investing (speculating) in pre-launch offers. This may be a good idea only if you are confident that the appreciation you will get from your property (taking into account the estimated execution delays and inventory overhang) will far exceed the returns you will get if you put the same amount of money in an Fixed Deposit (@ 10%) or some other safe investment. In the present unpredictable economic scenario and uncertain political environment (with elections round the corner in 2014), do you feel that property rates will appreciate so much in the near future in places like Pune (where the property prices already seem to be too high) that it is wise take a risk and go in for pre-launch offers or is it better to play safe and buy a ready possession house?

As I said, we are novices in this field; so if you are an expert, do tell us what you think.

To be continued in MUSINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU Part 5 …

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this blog post?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

   

 

Pune Real Estate Guide – HOUSE HUNTING IN PUNE – FIVE TIPS FOR BUYING PROPERTY

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: HOUSE HUNTING IN PUNE – 5 TIPS FOR BUYING PROPERTY.

Click the link above and read the original article in my journal (also posted below for your convenience)

HOUSE HUNTING IN PUNE – 5 TIPS FOR PROPERTY BUYING

MUSINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU Part 3

By 

VIKRAM KARVE

Continued from Part 2…

REAL ESTATE PRICES IN PUNE – HYPE AND REALITY

THE MYSTERY OF INVENTORY OVERHANG

MUSINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU Part 2

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/real-estate-prices-in-pune-hype-and.html

Are you thinking of buying a HOME in PUNE right NOW? 

Firstly, please note – I said HOME not HOUSE. 

A home is where you plan to live with your family. If you are thinking of buying a house for investment, or to earn money by renting out, then maybe some of the things I am going to say may not be entirely applicable. 

The second important word is PUNE. 

Why Pune? 

Unless you have got a very strong reason to settle down in Pune it is not really worthwhile to buy a home in Pune. Considering the poor infrastructure (terrible roads, traffic chaos, poor public transport and connectivity, frequent disruptions of electricity and load-shedding, water shortages, et al) and the unexceptional quality of life, the exorbitant property prices in Pune are not justified at all. 

Yes, you will not get value for your money in Pune as you may in some other place. 

Remember, Pune is no longer the charming town it used to be – I think the city has reached saturation point and is almost bursting at its seams and the infrastructure is simply not able to cope up with the burgeoning population and proliferating concrete jungle. 

The third key word is NOW. 

Hold your horses. Be patient. Wait for real estate prices to correct and stabilize. Like I said I am a novice, but some of my “knowledgeable” friends say that a recession is round the corner and real estate prices in Pune are going to fall. 

TIP No. 1 – ONE LOOK IS WORTH A THOUSAND REPORTS 

A few years ago we attended a slick presentation by the sales team of a reputed builder trying convince a gullible young group of upwardly mobile persons to book an apartment in an upcoming project in Pune. 

“It’s just a five minute drive to the Railway Station,” they said. 

Today, a guy who bought an apartment there, considers himself lucky if he can reach the railway station in less than an hour negotiating the heavy chaotic traffic of Pune and with the delays and traffic jams at numerous traffic signals enroute. (Yes, the railway station is precisely 8 kilometers away, but is it possible to drive at an average  speed of 96 kmph to cover 8 Kms in 5 minutes? This may be possible on the expressway but certainly not in Pune City where you can barely get an average speed of 10 kmph). 

“Beautiful green open spaces surround the project,” they said. 

My friend finds himself in the midst of a concrete jungle, surrounded by a crowd of tall buildings which ensure the sun hardly ever reaches his first floor home. There is noise pollution and air pollution from the road below. Tell me, who is going to leave open spaces open anymore? If you find an open space be sure that a building will come up there or worse still a slum my proliferate rapidly covering all the left over open spaces. 

This example brings me to Tip No. 1 – One Look Is Worth A Thousand Reports.

There is an ancient saying:

Don’t Marry a Girl Without Seeing the Girl

and 

Don’t Buy Land (House) Without Seeing the Land (House).

Well this applies to all types of property and real estate, whether it is land, a bungalow, a row house or an apartment. You must visit the site and see the property for yourself. Also you must ensure that what you see is what you get and for this it is always better to buy a home in a project that is ready, otherwise you may in for a big surprise.                

In Pune the most important aspect to consider is location. Commuting is a nightmare in Pune and things are only going to get worse. One cannot see any urgent efforts at improving the road network, and in the absence of efficient public transport, vehicles are rapidly proliferating and the traffic scene is going to get even more chaotic every passing day.

In peak hours there are continuous traffic jams and it sometimes takes me more time for me get to Koregaon Park (25 kms) from my home in Wakad than it takes me to get to Belapur in Navi Mumbai more than 100 kms away by the expressway. Petrol prices are rising day by day too.

So make sure your home is near your workplace, your wife’s office, your children’s’ schools and all the other places you are likely to frequent. 

Tip No. 2 – SKIP THE FRILLS 

Remember it is you who are going to pay for all those fancy things in the project – and it is a maintenance headache too.

Do you really require all those fancy high-tech “intelligent home” gadgets which will be rendered useless by the frequent electric power failures which prevail in Pune?

The only things I find useful are generator back-up and a good gym for exercise. 

Tip No. 3 – MAKE SURE WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET 

Always buy a ready possession house or resale flat – your house must be ready to move in.

Choose your particular flat where you intend to live in, and do not make a decision by just seeing a sample flat.

As I brought out earlier, things will look vastly different before and after construction. A friend who booked a house before construction started in a pre-launch offer (impressed by the open fields surrounding the project) now finds himself staring into the balcony of the neighbouring building which has sprung up.

Also, why take a risk in the prevailing scenario where a project execution may be inordinately delayed or at worst may never see the light of day? 

Tip No. 4 – BEWARE OF THE WORD “ANNEXE” 

In the English Language, the word Annexe means Extension. 

In Real Estate parlance the word Annexe may have different connotations, especially in Pune. 

Thus “Aundh Annexe” may be nowhere near Aundh, but in the back of beyond across the river.

Kondhwa Annexe may be somewhere way off in Undri or Mohammadwadi, Koregaon Park Annexe may be way beyond Ghorpuri or Mundhwa.

Wakad Annexe may be many kilometres away from Wakad in some out-of-the-way place. 

You’ve got the drift haven’t you – they just cash in on the name of the nearest upcoming or posh locality to hype their project. 

Tip No. 5 – TRY BEFORE YOU BUY (Have a DRY RUN) 

In fact the best thing to do is to have a Dry Run. Take a house on rent in the locality (or better still in the building complex) in which you intend to buy your home and you will experience first hand the pros and cons of living there, especially the social infrastructure. 

Like I said, don’t get carried away by all that “created” hype. Be patient. Look around. Try out some more localities or ask your friends living there. Rest assured that you will get a good deal. Everything comes to him who waits. 

Bye for now. I will share some more lessons I learnt as a novice first time home buyer right here in my blog. 

Till then tell me if you found my tips useful and remember the ancient saying:

Don’t Marry a Girl Without Seeing the Girl and Don’t Buy a House Without Seeing the House. 

Happy House Hunting…!!!

To be continued in MUSINGS OF A NOVICE SELF-STYLED PROPERTY GURU Part 4 …

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this blog post?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

   

THEY DEPEND ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: Marginalised, Lonely, Waiting for Death – THEY DEPEND ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS.

Click the link above and read the article in my journal or read it below:

Marginalised, Lonely, Waiting for Death – THEY DEPEND ON THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

THEY DEPEND ON THE  KINDNESS OF STRANGERS

Marginalized, Lonely, Waiting for Death

Musings on the state of Middle Class Senior Citizens

By

VIKRAM KARVE

This morning, during my early morning walk, I passed by Mrs. J’s house. I saw J, an 80 year old widow, struggling to walk in her garden. I wished J good morning and asked her how she was. She answered: “I depend on the kindness of strangers.”

For a moment I was speechless. Then, slowly I let her words sink in and perambulate in my mind – “I depend on the kindness of strangers” – these words struck a chord. I was transported back in time, 30 years ago, to the year 1981, if my memory serves me right, when I had seen the play A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE which had a lasting impression on me. I witnessed a performance of the indigenous production of this 1948 Pulitzer Prize winning masterpiece by Tennessee Williams at the Kamani Auditorium in New Delhi directed by Alyque Padamsee with terrific performances by Dalip Tahil as Stanley Kowalski and Sabira Merchant as Blanche DuBois. I still remember the heart-rending scene, when, after being totally destroyed by Stanley, while being taken away to a mental asylum, a shattered Blanche holds onto the doctor’s hand and says: “ Whoever you are – I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”.

Though the context in the play is different, I realized the universal all-encompassing truth encapsulated in those profound words, which were spontaneously uttered by J (who I am sure has not read or seen the play A Streetcar Named Desire).

As I walk around our colony in Pune I realize that there are so many senior citizens living alone who “depend on the kindness of strangers”. In most cases their children live abroad in the USApursuing their American Dream while their parents live a life of loneliness awaiting their deaths back home in India. Also, I notice that the longevity of women seems to be more since there are far more senior citizen widows who heavily outnumber the widowers.

Before you blame the “ungrateful and selfish children” for “abandoning” their “hapless” parents I think you must consider the fact that there are always two sides to a coin (or a story).

Let me give you a bit of a background.

In the 1960s and 1970s I lived in a “middle-class” locality in Pune where parents had two dreams:

First, their son must get into an IIT and go abroad to America to realize the American dream and achieve “success”.

Second, they must get their daughters married to a “successful” American NRI so that she too could go the USA to live a life of prosperity and happiness there.

Many such parents, like J, achieved their dreams, for which they are paying the price today.

Even today, I see so many parents who are desperate to send their kids abroad for higher studies and to settle down there. In the earlier pre-liberalisation days, it was difficult to go to America unless you got into an IIT or topped from a premier University. Today it is much easier. Post liberalisation, if you are willing to spend your money you can easily go for higher studies abroad or you can go there via the IT route (Hence the beeline for IT jobs).

Then or now, the fact of the matter is that it is the parents themselves who encourage (and monetarily facilitate) their children to go abroad or inculcate congruent values that create in the minds of their children the urge to emigrate to America or some other prosperous country for a “better life”.

So who is to blame – the parents or the children?

I ask J, “Why don’t you go and live with your son or daughter inAmerica? Have they refused to take you there? Are your children unwilling to have you live with them?”

“Far from it,” the old lady says, “they want me to live with them over there and keep calling me to relocate permanently to America and stay with them. I have gone there so many times, but I don’t want to live there with them in America. I don’t like it there.”

I am puzzled. It seems very strange. Why should she prefer to live a difficult lonely life out here, full of hardship, when she can live a comfortable life of luxury with the best of facilities and in the company of her children and grandchildren in America?

Why do so many senior citizens prefer to depend on “the kindness of strangers” rather than enjoy the evening of their lives exulting in the love and care of their near and dear ones?

Is it ego? Is it something else? Is there some other reason?

I don’t know. I don’t have the answer. Do you?

If you do have the answer, or wish to share your views on this subject, please comment and let us know.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this blog post?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com      
vikramkarve@gmail.com

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

MAHARSHI KARVE – His Life Story

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: MAHARSHI KARVE – His Life Story.

Click the link above and read the article in my journal about Biographical Literature on the Life and Work of Bharat Ratna Maharshi Dhondo Keshav Karve

COCKTAIL – SHORT STORIES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS by VIKRAM KARVE

Ebook Cocktail Short Stories about Relationships Vikram Karve Pune India Author Fiction Writing

If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book at smashwords  

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

COCKTAIL ebook

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925#longdescr

To order your hard copy paperback of COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:

http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme

http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm

http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

ABOUT COCKTAIL by VIKRAM KARVE

Relationships are like cocktails. Every relationship is a unique labyrinthine melange of emotions, shaken and stirred, and, like each cocktail, has a distinctive flavour and taste. The twenty-seven stories in this collection explore fascinating aspects of modern day relationships: love, romance, sex, betrayal, marriage, parenting and even pet parenting. You will relish reading these riveting cocktails of intermingling emotions narrated in a temptingly engaging style, and once you start reading you will find this delicious “cocktail” unputdownable till the very end.

VIKRAM KARVE educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale, and Bishop’s School Pune, who was once a Naval Officer by profession, likes to describe himself as an Electronics and Communications Engineer by qualification, a Human Resource Leader and Trainer by occupation, a Teacher by vocation, a Creative Writer by inclination, and a Foodie by passion. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles in magazines and journals for many years before the advent of blogging and published a foodie book “Appetite for a Stroll”. Vikram lives in Pune, India and welcomes your feedback by email at vikramkarve@sify.com.

COCKTAIL EBOOK

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925#longdescr

Available Ebook reading formats:

Single purchase gains access to all formats. How to download ebooks to e-reading devices and apps.

Format	Full Book	Sample First 20%
Online Reading (HTML, good for sampling in web browser)	Buy	View sample
Online Reading (JavaScript, experimental, buggy)	Buy	View sample
Kindle (.mobi for Kindle devices and Kindle apps)	Buy	Download sample
Epub (Nook, Sony Reader, Kobo, and most e-reading apps including Stanza, Aldiko, Adobe Digital Editions, others)	Buy	Download sample
PDF (good for reading on PC, or for home printing)	Buy	No sample available
RTF (readable on most word processors)	Buy	No sample available
LRF (Use only for older model Sony Readers that don’t support .epub)	Buy	Download sample
Palm Doc (PDB) (for Palm reading devices)	Buy	Download sample
Plain Text (download) (flexible, but lacks much formatting)	Buy	No sample available
Plain Text (view) (viewable as web page)	Buy	No sample available

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Doberman Girl Sherry and Me

 

 

My Doberman Girl Sherry and Me on Twitpic.

Click the link above and see a lovely picture of Sherry Karve and her Dad. Isn’t she beautiful? And isn’t he handsome?

WRITERS BLOCK versus WRITER BLOCKED

WRITERS BLOCK versus WRITER BLOCKED.

WRITERS BLOCK versus WRITER BLOCKED 

I am sure you have heard about the work continuum: JOB – CAREER – CALLING. To this I like to add a fourth stage – METIER. I believe that a person’s work life is defined by four stages: Job – Career – Calling – Metier.

A job is something you do for which you get paid. I got paid for being an Electrical Engineer (or more precisely an Electronics and Communications Engineer). That was my basic job. Your job provides you the instrumental means of fulfilling  your financial needs.

During my career in the Navy I did a number of jobs, afloat and ashore (pertaining to Electrical, Electronics, Radar and Communications Engineering). Your career fulfils your needs for achievement and accomplishment. I was in operations, maintenance, production, industrial engineering, projects, design, quality assurance, engineering management, training, teaching assignments, and later, after I obtained management qualifications, I worked as a Human Resource Leader, a Trainer and a Professor.

I enjoyed most of the varied jobs I did during the course of my career, but the job I enjoyed most was Teaching and Training – yes, I had discovered my “calling” or vocation, so I spent many years as a teacher and an trainer.

To summarize:

A job is something you are paid for doing.

A career is a line of work.

When you find your work intrinsically fulfilling and you are not doing it to achieve something else, you have discovered your calling.

Since my student days I have always loved to read and write. Throughout my career I always seized the opportunity to do “literary” tasks like writing articles, participating in seminars and literary/intellectual events, editing and producing in-house journals etc. Soon I started writing short fiction stories, many of which were published and appreciated. I realized that I was passionate about writing and had discovered my true metier – creative writing.

I, therefore, “retired” to pursue my metier full-time, with total dedication, complete vigour and focused efforts, without the distractions of a “job” or “career”.  Now-a-days, I am a wannabe writer, who nobody takes seriously. For the last few months I am writing my first novel – the first draft, the second…

The life of a budding creative writer is a solitary and lonely one. Everyone thinks I am wasting my time and I am making a big mistake turning down lucrative job offers. They don’t realize that I have found my “metier” and do not want to do a “job”. Most people don’t understand me and it is quite frustrating.

Recently my mother had a serious accident, underwent surgeries and had to spend over three weeks in hospital. Me (and my wife) spent the entire three weeks looking after my mother full-time. Others came and went, because they had “jobs” to do whereas I was “unemployed”. Even now, my bedridden mother wants us (my wife and I) to stay with her full-time till she recovers (which may take a few months). When I suggest that my sister can share the duties, my mother retorts: “How can she leave her husband for so long and come here? He has important work and a “job” to do!”

For others, like my cousins who run a business, time is money – so how can they afford to leave their business and come here for even a day!

In my case, it just does not matter. I don’t have a job to do or a career to pursue.

Never mind that my writing schedule has gone haywire and my train of thoughts is disrupted. Everyone thinks creative writing is a trivial pastime, a frivolous hobby, and it just doesn’t matter if I don’t write for a few weeks. No one takes me seriously. Suppose I were doing a “job” then everyone’s attitude towards me would have been different.

Earlier, I had experienced a phenomenon called “Writer’s Block” – now I feel like a “Writer Blocked”. 

VIKRAM KARVE 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

WORRY AMMA – a story by Vikram Karve

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: WORRY AMMA.

WORRY AMMA

WORRY AMMA

Fiction Short Story

By

VIKRAM KARVE

“I am worried,” she said.

“Worried…? About what…?” I asked.

“Marriage…”

“Marriage…? What marriage…? Whose marriage…?”

“My marriage, you stupid…” she admonished me.

“Your marriage…? But you are not getting married…!”

“That’s what I am worried about – why am I not getting married – I may never get married…”

“Of course you will get married…”

“Really…you think so…”

“Of course I think so…you are the most eligible girl…so beautiful…so talented…so educated…the best boys will queue up for your hand…”

She did get married.

Yes, she got married at the right time, to the best boy…but not before a few she subjected me to a few onslaughts of her terrible spells of worry.

Like just before her engagement ceremony she took me aside and said, “I am worried…”

“Not now…!” I admonished.

“Don’t talk to me like that…you are the only one…”

“Okay, okay, tell me…”

“Do you really think we are compatible…?”

“Of course you are compatible…in fact you two are made for each other and your marriage will be a big success…” I assured her.

“Will he let me work after marriage…?”

“Of course, he will let you work…didn’t you both discuss it the other day…”

“Yes, but I am worried that in the heart of his heart he doesn’t want me to work. ”

“I spoke to your fiancé. I asked him very clearly. He wants you to work and have a successful career…” I lied.

“Really…?”

“Yes…”

She had a flourishing marriage and a highly successful career but that did not stop her from bombarding me with her salvoes, fits and spells of worry whenever we met from time to time.

“I am worried. Will I have children?”

She had two – a boy and a girl.

“I am worried about my kids. What will they do in life? It is so difficult, there is so much competition.”

Both her children did very well. Her son got into IIT, then IIM, and got a very good job in an MNC. Her daughter got into AIIMS, became a doctor, specialized in Gynaecology, and was working in a leading hospital, but her blitzkrieg of worries continued unabated.

“I am worried.”

“Now what?”

“My children’s marriage, you fool. Will my son get a good girl, will she get along with me? My daughter….?”

Both her son and daughter got the best of spouses who got along very well with their in-laws. In fact, her daughter-in-law doted on her and they stayed together as a happy joint family and her daughter who had married a colleague doctor lived nearby and visited her almost every day.

“I am worried.”

“Now what?”

“My daughter – her pregnancy – will her delivery be okay?”

“Come on, both she and her husband are the best gynaecologists in town. Surely there is no reason to worry.”

Her daughter had a very smooth pregnancy and delivered a bonny boy. So did her daughter-in-law.”

It seemed to be the end of her worries. She and her husband were well off, had a beautiful house in the posh area of the city, enjoyed the best of health and were looking forward to a satisfying retired life. They were blessed with grandchildren and gave the impression of one happy family. I envied her, she had everything in the world, she was really lucky. Now, there was absolutely no reason for her to worry.

Worry Amma, as I called her, came into my life when I was a small boy studying in the third standard. She was our newly arrived neighbour’s daughter, my new classmate, and I was supposed to “guide” her and “look after her” especially as we travelled to school and back in the public bus (there were no school buses those days). But most of the time it was she who was looking after me and making my life miserable with her constant worrying.

She was always worried – will the bus come on time, will she be late for assembly, will she do well in her exams, her homework, later, how she looked, her crushes, everything. I was her sounding board who she bombarded with her worries. That’s why I secretly called her “Worry Amma.”

She did very well at studies, and so did I, and I thought she, like other girls would study arts, but to my horror she too joined the same IIT as I did and made my life miserable with her worries for the next five years. And then, try as I did, I could not escape her salvoes of worry whenever we met. In fact I seemed to have got so used to her that I missed her whenever we did not meet for some time, like now, I had not met her for over a month as she had gone on a holiday abroad with her husband and entire family.

“Hi, all alone?” Worry Amma accosted me as I was enjoying my SPDP at Vaishali. She didn’t ask if she could join me – she just pulled a chair and sat opposite me.

“I am worried,” she said.

“Now what? Are you worried that you have nothing to be worried about?” I joked.

“I am worried about you.”

“Me?” I gasped, choking on the food in my mouth.

“Yes. You. I am really worried about you. Look at you. Living all alone. Eating all this junk food. Nobody to look after you. I am really worried about you. But don’t worry, I will find you a nice wife.”

Now, I am worried.

VIKRAM KARVE 

Copyright © Vikram Karve 2011

Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this story?

I am sure you will like the 27 stories in COCKTAIL

To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:

http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme

http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm

http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

About Vikram Karve 

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated at IIT Delhi, ITBHU Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures(2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for almost 14 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing. Vikram lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts. 

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com

Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve

Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve

Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm

Email: vikramkarve@sify.com          

vikramkarve@gmail.com 

Fiction Short Stories Book

COCKTAIL : Short Stories about Relationships By VIKRAM KARVE

http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll

http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o 

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.