Archive for the ‘Health and wellness’ Category

How to Cure Resentment

February 28, 2017

IS IT EASY TO “FORGIVE AND FORGET”…? 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/is-it-easy-to-forgive-and-forget.html

How to Cure Resentment By Vikram Karve

Resentment means “bitter indignation” due to unjust, unfair or deceitful treatment.

Resentment (a sense of bitterness) occurs because of “perceived injustice” in the past.

Humans are sensitive emotional entities – so – for most of us – in many cases– perceptions matter more than facts.

Resentment is a bitter emotion that has its origins in the past.

The word “resentment” derives from two Latin words:

“re” (meaning “back”) + “sentire” (meaning “to feel”)

Thus – resentment is a feeling due to something that has happened in the past (going “back” in time).

Resentment develops because of your non-acceptance of something that has already happened in your past life.

Resentment comprises “emotional rehashing” – an attempt to “wipe out” the “perceived injustice” that has already happened – but – such attempts to eradicate the “wrongs” from your past life – they do not work – because – you are attempting to do the impossible – you cannot change your past.

Since the event which is causing resentment has already happened in the past – it cannot be undone – so – the “root cause” for resentment cannot be corrected – what has happened has happened – and – you cannot do anything about it.

Resentment is a way of consoling yourself that you have been wronged and unfairly treated – and – as a “victim of injustice” – you are “morally superior” to the person who has “wronged” you.

Resentment causes “self-pity” – and – you begin to picture yourself as a wronged person – a “victim” – who was destined to be unhappy.

Resentment can become an “emotional habit” – and – you may habitually start feeling that you are a continual “victim of injustice” – and – you will picture yourself as a “victimized person” who has been “wronged” in life.

Once you infected by the virus of resentment – in your daily life – you will begin to “search” for “injustices” – to feed your resentment even more.

I have observed that – resentful persons feel “good” only when they are miserable.

Resentment affects your “self-image” and “self-esteem”.

As long as you harbour resentment – it will be difficult for you to picture yourself as a self-confident happy person.

As I said – resentment has its origins in past events – and – you cannot change the past – the only way to deal with resentment is in the present – here and now.

In most cases – your resentment may be towards the person who has caused you the “injustice”.

In such cases – the most popular advice is to “forgive and forget”.

But – this is easier said than done.

Certain things/persons can be forgiven – and – these will not cause you resentment.

But – certain things/persons cannot be forgiven – and – these will cause you resentment.

It varies from person to person – and – those things that you cannot forgive – those “unforgivable” wrongs/injustices – they will cause resentment in you.

Yes – it is these “unforgivable” wrongs/injustices which create resentment in you.

Resentment means that you cannot “forgive and forget” that particular “unjust” thing or the person who has “wronged” you.

But – you can try and mitigate your resentment.

One practical way of mitigating resentment is to identify the “anchors” which cause you resentment – and then – avoiding those resentment-causing “anchors” (stimulus) – by distancing them from your life.

For example – if your resentment is due to a certain person who has “wronged” you – or has caused you “injustice” – you will feel resentful every time you see that person (though you may “fake” emotions of “forced geniality” for the sake of social graces).

If a certain person is responsible for your resentment – and – if that person is around you all the time – your resentment will worsen.

In such cases – if possible – it is best to remove that person from your life – or – distance yourself from the person responsible for your resentment.

The  “out of sight” = “out of mind”  dictum does work – and – once you are in a new environment – far away from the source of your resentment – you will experience that your resentment will dissipate.

In some cases – your resentment may be associated with an organization or place – so – the best solution is to quit the organization or relocate from that place.

Introspect – and – identify the entity that is causing you resentment – and then – try to distance yourself from that “toxic” entity.

Let me give you some hypothetical examples – apocryphal stories:

A man and a woman had an extramarital affair – they were both married to someone else.

There were two “victims” of the adulterous relationship – the respective spouses of the “perpetrators” of the adultery – the “cuckolded” husband of the unfaithful wife – and – the deceived wife of the unfaithful husband.

The deceived wife decided to “forgive and forget”.

She continued to live with her “unfaithful” husband – and – she continued with her married life – as if nothing had happened

The cuckolded husband could not “forgive” his unfaithful wife for her betrayal of “sacrosanct” marital trust.

He divorced his disloyal “adulterous” wife – and – he decided to “move on” in life.

Believing in the  “out of sight” = “out of mind”  dictum – he asked for a transfer – he physically relocated to a new place – then – took up a new job and migrated overseas to begin a new life abroad.

He broke contact with his ex-wife – and – he focused on enjoying his new life – and – his positive forward-looking attitude helped him mitigate the resentment caused by the sordid episode.

He delinked the “anchors” linked to his resentment.

He had overcome his resentment and there was no bitterness in him.

He had got over the sordid episode and he was happy with his new life.

Now – let us see what happened to the deceived wife of the adulterous husband.

Though outwardly – she had “forgiven” her unfaithful husband – in her heart – she still harboured great resentment against her husband for betraying her and having an extramarital affair.

When she came to know that her husband was involved in an extramarital affair – she was devastated by his infidelity – and – she wanted to divorce him.

However – her own parents/in-laws/family/relatives put great pressure on her to “reconcile” with her husband – her unfaithful husband begged forgiveness – and – everyone asked her to “forgive and forget” – and – to continue her marriage.

Though outwardly – it seemed that she had “forgiven and forgotten” – in her heart – she was still resentful of her husband for his act of adultery – and – you could discern that she was still harbouring resentment inside her.

Though she wore a “mask” and tried to “fake” happiness – there was a strange sadness in her eyes – she was no longer her earlier bubbly and gregarious self – from time to time – she disparaged her husband and reminded him of his “sin” – whenever she had an argument with him – and – it was clear that she despised her husband due to the resentment caused by his adulterous act of having an extramarital affair.

Despite her resentment towards her husband – she continued to live with him – and – this resentment had made her life miserable.

She was well qualified – she had a good job – and – she was financially independent – so – she could have divorced her husband – moved on in life – mitigated her resentment – and – become happy – just like her counterpart “victim” of the extramarital affair – the “cuckolded” husband.

But – she chose to continue living with her unfaithful husband – due to social pressure – and – under the false belief that “time is a great healer”.

Time is a great healer.

But – “Time” alone – may not heal resentment.

You may require “space” to mitigate your resentment.

Of course – as I said earlier – it varies from person to person.

Maybe – there are some “broadminded” spouses – who may not feel resentful – if their spouses had an extramarital affair – which – they may consider a “minor indiscretion”.

On the contrary – some persons may feel resentful for what most others may consider “small misdemeanours”.

Resentment can happen in all relationships – personal and professional.

Even at work – you may feel that you have been unfairly treated – or – feel a sense of mistrust – this may cause resentment towards your boss or the entire organization.

I remember – in the Navy (and Army, Air Force too) – many deserving officers get “passed over” for promotion due to the steep hierarchical pyramid unique to the military.

Hence – many officers get “superseded” at a relatively young age despite being professionally competent.

Some superseded officers “forgive and forget” – and – they continue the military life without any resentment – and – they remain happy and healthy.

Most superseded officers cannot “forgive and forget” – and – they feel a sense of resentment towards the organization (Army/Navy/Air Force/Defence Services).

Of these – some officers resign and quit the Navy/Army/AirForce – and – they “move on” to a second career in the civilian world.

By distancing themselves from their earlier organization/environment – these officers mitigate their resentment in due course.

However – some resentful officers remain in the Army/Navy/AirForce – and – they become more and more bitter and rancorous day by day.

These resentful officers not only make their own lives miserable due to their resentment – but they also spread unpleasantness and negativity in the environment – and generate “toxic” vibes which have a demoralizing effect on everyone in their vicinity.

Some superseded officers become “bloody-minded” as their resentment makes them spiteful and acrimonious.

Others wallow in “self-pity” as they feel that they are “victims” of injustice.

Some of these “self-pity” type superseded officers try to “drown their sorrows” in alcohol and slip into the abyss of alcoholism.

The become alcoholics, destroy their own health and ruin the lives of their families.

Resentment can make you miserable – and – in extremis – if you allow resentment to grow within you – your resentment can overwhelm you – and – even destroy you.

Remember – in your personal and professional life – you may feel that you have been cruelly “wronged” – or – gross “injustice” has been done to you.

Whenever such a thing happens – you must introspect.

If you can “forgive and forget” – it is fine

But – in case you cannot “forgive and forget” – it is best to move on – and try to mitigate your resentment.

Remember – each person is different.

Something that causes resentment in one person – that same thing may not cause resentment in someone else.

So – when something demoralizing happens – and if you feel that you have been “wronged” by someone and you are a “victim” of injustice – you should introspect – whether you can “forgive and forget” – or – whether it is “unforgivable” and will give rise to resentment in you.

And then – you can act accordingly.

Dear Reader – let me conclude by saying:

Once a relationship is contaminated by resentment – it is best to end the resentful relationship.

Yes – if you cannot “forgive and forget” – rather than let resentment make your life miserable and worsen your relationship – if feasible – isn’t it better to “break up” – rather than try to make a pretence of a “patch-up”…?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. These are my personal views. They may or may not work for everyone. Please exercise your own due diligence in your life.
  2. It is easy to preach, but difficult to practice what you preach. I try my best to practice what I preach (and preach what I practice) to the extent feasible.
  3. All stories in this blog area work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/is-it-easy-to-forgive-and-forget.html

The First Step Towards Inner Peace

November 29, 2016

STRESS MANAGEMENT MADE SIMPLE

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/11/wisdom-on-bench-in-mussoorie-stress.html

OUTER SILENCE – THE FIRST STEP TO INNER PEACE

WORDS ON A BENCH IN MUSSOORIE

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: Wisdom on a Bench in Mussoorie – Stress Management Mantra

Meditation By VIKRAM KARVE

I am feeling hassled.

I close my eyes.

I sit in silence.

I relax.

And – I remember those insightful and profound words of wisdom engraved on a bench in Mussoorie.

I read those words written on a bench in Hindi long back – but those meaningful words have remained etched in my mind forever.

Agar Aap Shanti Chahte Ho To Pehele Shaant Rehena Seekho

अगर आप शांति चाहते हो तो पहेले शांत रहेना सीखो

Long back – in the early 1990’s – I visited Mussoorie.

During one of my long walks – probably on Camel’s Back Road – or maybe near Lal Tibba in Landour – I saw some words inscribed on a bench.

Those words were a truism that has had a profound impact on me ever since.

I will never forget those interesting words written in Hindi on a bench in Mussoorie:

अगर आप शांति चाहते हो तो पहेले शांत रहेना सीखो

(Agar Aap Shanti Chahte Ho To Pehle Shaant Rehna Seekho)

Roughly translated into English this means:

IF YOU DESIRE PEACE THEN FIRST LEARN TO REMAIN SILENT

Of course – the Hindi word शांत (shaant) also means PEACEFUL

Yes – SILENCE is the sine qua non for PEACEFULNESS.

Once your mind is calm and peaceful – you will experience a sense of inner peace.

If your inner peace is disturbed – you will be stressed out.

The root cause of stress is lack of inner peace.

The first step to stress management is to restore your inner peace – and you must not allow your inner peace to be disturbed.

But – why does your inner peace get disturbed…?

Your inner peace gets disturbed because there is too much “noise” in your life.

There is Physical Noise, Mental Noise, Information Overload Noise, Emotional Noise, Relationship Noise – all sorts of Noise.

There is internal noise – and – there is external noise.

There is noise around you – and – there is noise within you.

There is all sorts of noise and cacophony – noise bombards all your senses.

Noise hassles you.

Noise disturbs your tranquility.

Noise is the biggest impediment to attaining peacefulness.

The first step to inner peace is to get rid of all that noise around you and within you.

Yes – if you want peace you have to shut out all the noise from your life.

Go to a quiet place where there is minimal external noise – switch off your noise-making gadgets like mobile cellphones etc – shut out the cacophony on TV – shut out the toxic people who create “noise” within you – yes – shut out all the emotional noise which hassles your peace of mind.

Sit silently in solitude – close your eyes – and see how your inner silence dissolves the noise within you.

Soon – as you sit in silence – you will experience inner peace – and you will be in harmony with yourself.

That is what I try to do every morning – or – whenever I feel stressed out.

I sit in silence in the spacious airy balcony of my ninth floor flat in Wakad – or in any other silent calm place.

I absorb the tranquil scenic view of the placid waters of the Mula River quietly flowing below, the peaceful verdant hills in the distance, the still atmosphere, the pure fresh air – and I feel a halo of soothing serenity permeate within me.

Then – I close my eyes – and I let my silence dissolve the internal noise in my mind and body.

It is only then that I experience inner peace – and I realize that I am in harmony with myself.

Yes – if you want to be in harmony with yourself – you must have inner peace.

And – outer silence is the first step to inner peace.

अगर आप शांति चाहते हो तो पहेले शांत रहेना सीखो

If you want peace then first learn to remain silent

Remember this simple piece of wisdom.

Try it.

Experience the power of silence in calming your mind.

It works.

You can take my word for it.

Remember the Stress Management Mantra:

Outer Silence is the First Step to Inner Peace

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: Wisdom on a Bench in Mussoorie – Stress Management Mantra

This Self Help Article Written by me in 1994 and First Posted by me Vikram Karve in this blog on 16 Sep 2011 at 9/16/2011 01:36:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/09/words-on-bench-in-mussoorie.html and revised and reposted online many times later at various urls including at urls: https://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/02/wisdom-from-mussoorie.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/10/noise-silence-and-peace-of-mind.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/08/stress-management-made-simple.html etc

Military Psychology for Emotional Sustenance and Depression Management

September 16, 2016

DEPRESSION “MANAGEMENT” 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:

“PSYCHO” – A Fictional Spoof By Vikram Karve

NB: The generic terms “Fauji” and “Soldier” refer to all Military Personnel (Officers/Soldiers/Sailors/Airmen) and the term “Faujan” refers to all Military Wives.

Recently – I attended a Literary Festival in Pune.

There was a session on “Stereotypes” in Fiction.

The panelists decried the tendency to stereotype characters – especially in romantic fiction.

Among the panelists was an Army Wife (“Faujan”) – an accomplished author – who has written a successful novel on an Army Wife’s Life.

I candidly told her that – in her novel – she too had “stereotyped” her “hero” – a “Quintessential” Army Officer = “Tough Macho Man” + “Debonair Gentleman” + “Ideal Boyfriend” + “Super Husband” + “Perfect Father” …et al

She agreed with me – that – at least in Indian Literature – most novels/movies with a military backdrop have a tendency to “stereotype” the Military Officer as the “ultimate impeccable superman” with all the perfect qualities.

Most Military Literature, Movies and Jingoistic Military Recruitment Advertisements reinforce such “stereotypes” of Army, Navy and Air Force Officers.

I have come across a few “Military Wife” Blogs (written by “Faujans”) – where – there is a tendency to stereotype the “Military Wife” – and – believe it or not – even the “Military Girlfriend” has been stereotyped.

If you have served in military uniform – or – if you are married to a person who has served in uniform – you will know that Military Officers and Military Wives (“Faujis” and “Faujans”) are like most normal human beings.

Thanks to this stereotyping of the “Military Officer/Soldier” (“Fauji”) – there is a perception that “Faujis” are so physically robust and mentally tough that it is not possible for “Faujis” to suffer from an “effeminate” frailty like “depression”.

The quintessential “Fauji” is supposed to be a “Tough Guy”.

So – a “Fauji” is expected to be at one of the two “macho” extremes – either he is supposed to be macho “compos mentis” – or go macho “berserk” and run amok.

In the military – there is no scope for middle-of-the-road sensitive fragilities like “depression”.

Things may be different now – but the “good old days” – Mental Health was a simple “Black” and “White” matter – either you were “sane” – or – you were “insane” – there was nothing in between the two extremes.

Being “sensitive” or “emotional” was considered “un-militarily-like” – there was no place for a “sentimental sissy” in the military.

Such “mushy” traits were considered as a sign of effeminate weakness and lack of OLQ (Officer Like Qualities).

The military motto was: “Stop crying like a woman – you must take it like a man”

If you had an “emotional problem” – you had to “sort out” your own problem – or – you had to bear it with stoicism.

If you could not “sort out” your emotional problem – and – you were forced to endure your emotional problem with stoicism – two things could happen.

  1. Either – the emotional problem cured itself – and – in due course of time – you became okay.
  1. Or – the emotional problem worsened and metamorphosed into a psychiatric disorder – in which case – you were declared a “psycho” – and – sent to the psychiatrist.

Things may have changed now – but – in the “good old days” – there was no concept of psychological counselling to alleviate emotional problems faced by “Faujis”.

In the earlier system of relying exclusively on psychiatric treatment – Military Officers/Soldiers were afraid – that if they officially reported their “emotional problems” to their superiors – it would be presumed that they were suffering from “psychiatric disorders” – and – they would be sent to military hospitals for psychiatric treatment.

Once Officers/Soldiers were referred for psychiatric treatment – their medical category would be downgraded – and – thereafter – for the rest of their life in the service – they would suffer the stigma of being branded as “psycho” – and – their military careers would be ruined forever.

As it is – in those days – Military Officers/Soldiers were apprehensive of going to “specialist” doctors – since they wanted to avoid down-gradation of their “medical category” – which could affect their career prospects.

But – “Faujis” were most terrified of being referred to Psychiatrists – not only would your “medical category” be down-graded – but – you would be branded a “psycho” to boot.

Hence – Officers/Soldiers suppressed their emotional distress.

They tried to “sort out” their emotional problem with “self-cure” – by adopting philosophical/spiritual self-help techniques like “positive thinking” “meditation” “prayer” etc.

Or – “Faujis” resorted to the universal “panacea” for all ills – alcohol – which was provided at concessional rates to “Faujis” – as the macho “remedy” for “depression cure”

“Self-Cure” or “Alcohol Cure” may have worked in some cases of “depression”.

But – if the emotionally distressed individual could not cure himself – this could ultimately result in serious ramifications like mental illness – or – even suicide – in extreme cases.

I do not recall any psychologists posted as counsellors on board ships with whom officers/sailors could talk to regarding their emotional problems.

The only “counsellors” available were your friends, your family – or – your superior officers – like the one in the story below titled “Depression Management”

DEPRESSION MANAGEMENT (an apocryphal story)

During my early Navy days – we had a Senior Lieutenant on our ship who had coined a maxim which epitomized “Depression Management” in the Navy:

EVERY PROBLEM IS A “MINOR PROBLEM” – AND – A “MINOR PROBLEM” IS “NO PROBLEM”.

A young Sub Lieutenant went to this Senior Lieutenant (who was his direct boss) and said: “Sir – I have a personal problem…”

The Senior Lieutenant promptly enunciated his favourite slogan:

“Every Problem is a “Minor Problem” – and – a “Minor Problem” is “No Problem”…”

And – the Senior Lieutenant asked the Sub Lieutenant to “vamoose” – and to get on with his work.

In the evening – the distraught Sub Lieutenant tried to unburden himself by talking about his personal problem to his shipmates in the wardroom.

It was a simple “affair of the heart”.

The Officer had fallen in Love with a Girl from a Wealthy Business Family.

The girl’s parents were not interested in their only daughter marrying a “penurious” Navy Officer.

(In fact – the girl was the “only child” of her parents and she was the heir to their “business empire”)

So – the parents had arranged a suitable “business match” for her daughter befitting their affluence and “status” – and – of course – the “business marriage” of their daughter to the son of a business tycoon would help expand their “business empire” as well.

And – though the girl loved the Navy Officer – the girl did not have the guts to go against her parents’ wishes.

The depressed officer’s well-meaning shipmates “counselled” him over a drink in the wardroom:

  1. “Forget about her – just get another girl – if you want – I will introduce you to a sexy “fleet auxiliary” who is available at the moment…”
  1. “Come on – drink up – and – by tomorrow – you will be fine…”
  1. “Why are you crying like a bloody sissy…? You are a tough Naval Officer. Just go and sort it out yourself – just go there – pick up your girl – elope – and – get married…” 

Now – the depressed officer was deeply in love with the girl – and – it was not possible for him to forget her – and – neither was he interested in having a “lustful affair” with a “fleet auxiliary”.

So – the “depressed officer” drank up – glass after glass of whisky – till – he was drunk to the hilt – and – fortified with alcohol-induced “Dutch Courage” – he drove down on his bike to the girl’s house to “sort out the matter”.

Well – the officer may have been emotionally vulnerable – but – physically – he was a huge powerful hulk – and – in his wild drunken state – he looked very intimidating.

You can well imagine what must have happened when the fearsome “angry young man” – drunk and berserk – ran amok – and accosted the girl’s parents and tried to forcibly elope with the girl.

Well – in order to save him from big trouble – the easiest thing for the “powers-that-be” to do – was to fill up a form and refer the “depressed officer” for psychiatric examination (notwithstanding the fact that he would be branded a “psycho” for life).

Well – you may think that this illustrative fictional story of an “affair of the heart” is a tall story.

But – the fact of the matter is – that – especially in today’s world – military men (and even military wives) – “Faujis” and “Faujans” – they need “emotional sustenance” – to face the multitude of problems peculiar to the Armed Forces – especially pertaining to Soldiers deployed in combat situations and their families.

And – for this “emotional sustenance” – isn’t compassionate counselling a better option than harsh psychiatric treatment…?

Military Hospitals have “Military Psychiatrists” to cure those who have gone “crazy”.

But – I wonder if units/ships have easily accessible “Military Psychologists” to prevent individuals from going “crazy”…?

Isn’t prevention better than cure…?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This blogpost is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved) 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:

Short Fiction Story – THE INTENSIVIST – Irony of Life or Quirk of Fate?

April 20, 2015

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: THE INTENSIVIST.

Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal: 
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

THE INTENSIVIST
A Short Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

The doorbell rang.

It was my friend – the ‘intensivist’.

Now – I am sure you know that an ‘intensivist’ is a doctor who specializes in the care of critically ill patients – usually in an Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

My intensivist doctor friend was in-charge of the ICU of the best hospital in town.

“I need a drink,” my friend, the intensivist, said.

I poured him a drink – and I asked him, “everything okay?”

“A strange thing happened today,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Last week – around 6 days ago – two critically ill patients were admitted to the ICU – they were both put on ventilator – I will not bore you with details of their illness – but both of them had exactly the same symptoms – and both were in very bad shape – on the verge of death,” he said.

“Old…?”

“Yes – old men – both more than 80 years old…”

“The first patient had a continuous stream of visitors – relatives – friends – well-wishers – there was always a minimum of 3 people waiting on him round the clock – sometimes even more – he seemed to be very popular and loved by so many…”

“Really…?”

“His entire family – his children – his grandchildren – he even had a great-granddaughter – they were constantly by his side in the hospital – he loved them all so much – whenever I looked at him – I could see that he had a great desire to live – in fact – when I spoke to him when he was slightly better – he asked me for a quick discharge from hospital – because he wanted to go home to his family – yes – I could see that he desperately wanted to live – and the huge number of people who visited him – all  his well-wishers – they all wanted him to get better and live a long life…”

 And what about the second patient…?”

“I was about to tell you that – the second patient had no visitors – not a single person came to visit him in hospital for all these 7 days…”

“Not even a single visitor – how is that possible – does he not have any relatives, friends…?”

“He is a widower – and both his children are settled abroad in America…”

“He has no relatives over here…?”

“Apparently not – most of his folks seem to be dead – and the younger relatives are all settled abroad – well – he was living in one of those high-falutin old age homes…”

“That’s sad…”

“Yes – he was very lonely and depressed – he once spoke to me – and he told me that he wanted to die – that he did not want to live anymore…”

“What happened…? Did he die…?”

“No – he became better – and today we sent him out of the ICU into the general ward – it seems he may be discharged in a few days…”

“And the other patient – the old man with lots of visitors – what happened to him…?”

“He died this morning…”

“That’s sad – all his well-wishers must have been distressed…”

“Yes – there was a pall of gloom when we declared him dead – terrible scenes of sadness as his heartbroken family was overcome with sorrow – everyone was crying – grief-stricken, inconsolable…”

I saw tears well up in the eyes of my intensivist friend – so I said, “Come on – you are a doctor – you shouldn’t get so emotional…”

My intensivist friend looked at me and said, “It’s a strange irony, isn’t it…?”

“What…?”

“The man who wanted to live – he died. And the man who wanted to die – he survived – and he will continue to live the lonely unhappy life that he does not want to live…”

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.


Posted by Vikram Karve at 

blogspot.in

4/20/2015 11:58:00 AM

Haiku to Commemorate the Moment I Quit Smoking – MY MINERVA MOMENT

October 16, 2014

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: MY MINERVA MOMENT – A Haiku to Commemorate the Moment I Quit Smoking.

Link to my original post in my journal:
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

MY MINERVA MOMENT
A HAIKU TO COMMEMORATE THE MOMENT I QUIT SMOKING
By
VIKRAM KARVE

I feel quite sad when I see so many individuals addicted to things like tobacco and alcohol. 

I know a doctor who smokes. 

He knows that smoking is injurious to health, but he just cannot stop smoking.

Another acquaintance of mine is showing signs of becoming alcohol dependent.

But he just cannot quit drinking, despite everyone telling him that if he does not quit drinking alcohol, he will soon be on the road to alcoholism.

There are some who are addicted to gambling.

But they cannot stop gambling, though they know that gambling can ruin their lives.

There are so many bad habits, vices and addictions.

Conquering an addiction is like attaining freedom from bondage.

More than 12 years ago I quit smoking and drinking. 

For many years now, every year, on the occasion of World No Tobacco Day (31 May) I re-post a self help article I had written long back titled HOW TO QUIT SMOKING in which I describe how I quit smoking and give a simple 3 step technique to quit smoking forever which is breathtaking in its simplicity.

In case you want to read this self help article on HOW TO QUIT SMOKING just click the url link given below.

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

(I have also given the link at the end of the post for your convenience – the link will open in a new window, so you can continue reading this post first and then go on to the article) 

But before you read that blog post, please read the Haiku below titled “My Minerva Moment” I wrote many years ago to celebrate the moment I quit smoking and to describe my freedom from the bondage of smoke rings.


MY MINERVA MOMENT 
 
smoke rings
chains of bondage
like handcuffs

fresh breeze
smoke rings dissolve
I am free


Oh yes, Dear Reader, this is exactly what I felt like when I freed myself from the smoking habit – conquering an addiction is like freedom from bondage.

Now please click the link below to read about the Three Stage Technique onHow to Quit Smoking

HOW TO QUIT SMOKING

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/201…

You can use this de-addiction technique to conquer other addictions as well.

Do comment and tell me if you liked the Haiku and the self help article.

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. The self help article mentioned in the blog post above is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. So please do due diligence before trying out this technique.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)


Posted by Vikram Karve at 10/16/2014 10:08:00 PM

Short Fiction by Vikram Karve – SHE DID NOT LOOK BACK

November 20, 2013

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: SHE DID NOT LOOK BACK.

Link to my original post in my academic and creative writing journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/11/she-did-not-look-back.html

Click the link above to read the story – the story is also posted below for your convenience:

SHE DID NOT LOOK BACK
Short Fiction Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE
 
From my Creative Writing Archives
 
One of my recent fiction stories – I wrote this story (then titled RUNNING AWAY) a year and half ago, in mid 2012.
 
I am posting the story once more on request from a reader – I thought the title SHE DID NOT LOOK BACK may be more apt.
 
Do tell me if you liked this story.
 
RUNNING AWAY (She Did Not Look Back) – A Short Story by Vikram Karve
 
“Hello Sir,” she said.
In the suddenness of the moment, I did not recognize her.
But then she gave me her vivacious smile, her eyes danced, and I knew who she was.
She had been one of my brightest students – but then that was quite some time ago.
“Of course I recognize you,” I said, “How can I ever forget one of my best students? But meeting you here was so unexpected that I was confused for a moment; and you’ve grown up so much, and I too am getting old, you know.”
“No, Sir, you still look handsome, and as young as ever. I am sure all the girls still have a crush on you, like we did!” she said naughtily.
I almost blushed, so to change the subject, I asked her, “What you doing here at the airport?”
“I’m going to New York,” she said, “my flight is delayed so I am just killing time.”
“My flight to Singapore is delayed too,” I said.
“Singapore?” she asked.
“Yes. I’m going for a conference,” I said.
“Oh,” she said.
For some moments no one spoke.
To break the silence, I said, “Let’s go to the coffee shop. We can sit and talk over there till our flights are announced.”
As we walked to the airport coffee shop, I thought of the girl walking beside me.
She had abruptly left our school three years ago, after completing her 9th Standard.
When we teachers expressed our surprise, the Principal of our school told us that her parents wanted to shift her to an elite boarding school, faraway in the hills.
We told the Principal that she was a brilliant scholar, one of our best students, who had the potential to top the 10th Board Exams, and she would surely bring laurels to our school by adorning the merit list. 
 
We also argued that, even from her point of view, it was not prudent to change her school and shift her just one year before the matriculation board examination.
But the Principal told us that he had discussed all this with her parents, but they were adamant.
So, the bright young girl left our school and went away to the elite boarding school at the distant hill station.
 
I did not see her again, or even hear of her, after she left our school.
“Sir, do you know why I had to suddenly leave school?” she asked, as we sat down for coffee.
“No,” I said, “in fact, we were quite surprised at your unexpected sudden departure.”
“My parents were getting divorced and they did not want me around, so they sent me away to the boarding school,” she said, nonchalantly, without batting an eyelid.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “that’s sad.”
“Yes,” she said, “it was really sad. They never asked me. They just decided to divorce on their own. I felt terrible. I did not like it at all. It was amicable divorce by mutual consent – but no one took my consent. Why is it that in divorce cases, no one bothers about the children’s consent?”
 
I did not answer. 
 
Because I did not know the answer.
 
I remained silent and looked at the girl.
 
Though I had met her parents once or twice perfunctorily at school functions, I did not know her parents that well. 
 
In fact, I do remember most of my students, but I hardly remember their parents.
I sipped my coffee and did not say anything, waiting for her to speak.
“I just don’t know why they split,” she said, “we seemed to be such a happy family together.”
“They must have had their reasons,” I said.
“Well, I think I know at least one reason now,” she said.
I just looked at her, waiting for her to continue speaking.
“Do you know what my father did the moment the divorce was through?
 
“What?” I asked.
 
“My dad got married to a woman half his age.”
“Half his age?” I asked, quite incredulous.
“Yes. The female was his student.”
“Student?”
“You know that my father is a Professor, don’t you?” she asked.
“Yes,” I lied.
The girl looked at me with bitterness on her face and said, “Yes. That girl was his student. She was doing her Ph. D. under him. The wily female snatched him away from us. And it was his fault too – a married man with a family getting involved with a woman so much younger in age than him.  It was terrible – a teacher and a student shamelessly getting married to each other. Just imagine how embarrassing it must have been for me and my mother.”
“Yes,” I said, trying to show empathy.
“And do you know what my mother did?”
“What?”
“Three months later, she too got married to a jerk from her office,” she said, “I hate him – he’s such a crafty smooth-talking fake.”
She paused for a moment and said, “And can you imagine his audacity?”
“Audacity?”
“This so-called step-father of mine – one day he politely told me that ‘they’ wanted more privacy so could I please go and stay with my own Dad for a while?”
“Don’t tell me…!”
“Yes. And you won’t believe this – my mother just kept quiet and said nothing.”
“So?”
“So I packed my bags and went over to my father’s place, but it was even worse over there.”
“Even worse?”
“Though she did not say so in so many words, my ‘step-mother’ made it quite clear that I was not very welcome – she kept giving me repulsive vibes of fake politeness, you know those terrible negative vibes – I could feel them every moment.”
“That’s sad.”
“So I spent the next two years of junior college, my 11th and 12th, shuttling between my two parents like an unwanted badminton shuttle-cock,” she said.
 
“It must have been terrible,” I commiserated.
 
“Yes. It was really very painful for me, so I made a deal,” she said.
“A deal?”
“I told both my parents that I wanted to go abroad to America for my studies and wanted them to jointly pay for it – I told them they must fund my entire studies and my stay abroad,” she said.
 
“Oh!” I exclaimed.
She paused for a moment, had a sip of coffee, and then she said, “you know, all of them were so delighted to hear this. My Dad used his academic connections and went out of the way to get me admission to the best university. No one wants me here. So everyone, my very own mother, and even my so-called ‘step parents’, they are all chipping in to finance my education abroad for as long as I want to study. They all are so happy to get me out of the way.”
“Oh, so that’s why you are going abroad to America?”
“Yes. I am running away. To a new life,” she said.
Suddenly, her flight was announced, and she got up to leave.
“Thanks for the coffee, Sir,” she said, “it was so nice meeting you.”
“I am sure we will meet again when you come back,” I said.
“I am not coming back, Sir. There is nothing left here for me to come back to. I am leaving behind the debris of my past over here and I am moving on to begin a new life over there – and I am not going to look back,” she said.
“All the Best. Take Care,” I said.
“You too, Sir, Take Care,” she said.
 
Then she turned and walked away.
I watched her for a long time, till she disappeared from sight. 
 
I thought she would look back. 
 
I thought she would wave a last good bye. 
 
But she did not look back.
 
Maybe she did not want to look back at the world from which she had escaped forever.
 
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 
 
Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
NB
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.
Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)
 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 
Did you like this story?  

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie I am sure that you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@hotmail.com

Twitter: @vikramkarve
      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 
First http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/08/running-away.html

HOW TO MAKE FOOD TASTY

January 26, 2013

Click the link below to read the article in my journal about the ultimate TASTE MANTRA – How to make Food Tasty

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: TASTY MANTRA – Definition and Meaning of TASTE.

Click the link above to read the article in my journal about the ultimate TASTE MANTRA – How to make Food Tasty

The post is also given below for your convenience:

 

TASTY MANTRA
The Definition and Meaning of TASTE and TASTY
By
VIKRAM KARVE
Long back I had a maid who used to cook quite well.
One day I invited some colleagues and their families (including my boss and his family) over for dinner and I decided to ask the maid to cook the food.
Apart from the usual fare of daal, rice, roti and a vegetable dish, I asked to her make chicken curry (which was her “signature dish”).
She cooked delicious chicken curry for us every Sunday and we really loved it.
At office, I often boasted about how lucky I was to get a good maid who cooked delicious food and I especially praised her chicken curry. So everyone was quite keen to taste this much hyped inimitable chicken curry.
“These guests are very special and they especially are looking forward to eating your chicken curry,” I told the maid, “so make it tasty. Please make the chicken curry really tasty.”
Now I did not know one thing – the definition of “taste” and “tasty” in my maid’s dictionary.
As far as my maid was concerned, “taste” meant rich (oily) and spicy and making food “tasty” meant adding plenty of oil and lots of chilly powder.
So when she cooked the chicken curry she made sure that she added generous amounts of oil and chilly powder. In fact, she had prepared the dish in copious amounts of oil and “richly” spiced (especially chilly powder).
The guests arrived.
Everyone was eagerly waiting in anticipation for the chicken curry.
The dish arrived and it looked very appealing and mouthwatering – yes, the chicken curry looked sumptuous, succulent pieces of chicken floating in rich opulent gravy.
The moment we started eating the chicken curry our tongues were instantly on fire. 
 
Yes, our tongues, our mouths, our whole insides were blazing and we all broke out into a sweat. 
 
Never before had we ever tasted something so hot and fiery. 
 
The rich greasy gravy further added to the pungency and the “kick.
Everyone kept drinking glass after glass of water to cool down their insides which had been set on fire by the red-hot chicken curry.
Had it not been for the “bland” vegetable dish and daal, which saved the day, the meal would have been a complete unmitigated disaster.
Next morning, surveying the leftovers, our maid was surprised to see that that there was plenty of chicken curry left over in the fridge, whereas the daal and vegetables were wiped out clean.
This was exactly the opposite of what she had expected.
I told her what had happened and asked her: “why did you put so much oil and chillies in the chicken curry?”
She said, “but you told me to make the chicken curry tasty. And how can a dish be tasty unless it is rich and spicy?”
“But what about the vegetables and daal – they were quite okay,” I said.
“You didn’t tell me to make the vegetables and daal tasty, so I made them normal,” she said.
‘Okay,’ I said, ‘from now on make everything “normal”. Please don’t make anything “tasty”.’
Epilogue
A few days ago I ordered Biryani at a local restaurant in Wakad near Pune.
Now, to the best of my knowledge and experience, Biryani is supposed to be mildly spiced.
But the Biryani served to me was so highly spiced, terribly red-hot and greasy that for me it was impossible for me to eat.
So I called the manager and told him not to make the Biryani so spicy and greasy and that he should tell the cook to put less oil and chilly powder in the Biryani.
Do you know what he said?
He said: “Sir, how can food be tasty unless you put oil and chillies? And most customers like “tasty” food.”
I instantly remembered the words of my erstwhile maid.
Well, they were the culinary “experts” and maybe I am out of sync.
Now I know the meaning and definition of the terms “taste” and “tasty”:
“Taste” means rich (oily) and spicy and making food “tasty” means adding plenty of oil and lots of chilly powder.
HAPPY EATING (and Happy Cooking)
May you always enjoy “Tasty” Food
 
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2013
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 
Did you like this foodie story?

I am sure you will like the 27 short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html

COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

RETIREMENT BLUES – RANDOM GRUMBLINGS OF A RETIRED NAVAL OFFICER – Part 1

December 4, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: RETIREMENT BLUES – GRUMBLINGS OF A RETIRED NAVAL OFFICER Part 1.

Click the link given above or below to read the original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal.

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/12/retirement-blues-grumblings-of-retired.html

The article is also posted below for your convenience.

RETIREMENT BLUES – GRUMBLINGS OF A RETIRED NAVAL OFFICER Part 1

Most people retire at 60.

Some retire even later at 65 or 70.

And some people do not retire at all.

But in the Navy (and the Army and Air Force) they pack you off on superannuation much earlier.
You have to retire in your early fifties if you are an Officer, or even earlier in your thirties if you are a sailor (aka PBOR).

Now what do you do when you retire so early?Either you take up a second career and keep slogging.

Or you sit at home and rumble and grumble. 

Well, that is what I have chosen to do – sit at home and carp, complain and grumble.

Let me share with you, dear reader, some of my grumblings … 

RETIREMENT BLUES 
GRUMBLINGS OF A RETIRED NAVAL OFFICER
Part 1
By
VIKRAM KARVE

According to my wife, work means physical effort.
In her parlance, work is associated with physical labour. 
 
There must be some visible physical effort, some movement involved.
 
Yes, physical movement is the key attribute defining work.
That’s why when I was in the Navy my wife was very happy, since, according to her, I was “working” very hard. 
 
In the Navy there is a lot of physical movement, everyone and everything is moving all the time, and so was I.
There is a saying in the Navy:
 
If it moves, salute it
 
If it doesn’t move, pick it up
 
If you can’t pick it up, paint it
In the Navy (and the Army too): Work is associated with Movement
 
The more you were seen moving, the more hardworking you were considered. 
 
It did not matter whether you were achieving anything or not.
 
So, since everyone wanted to appear hardworking, everyone was on the move all the time – saluting people, picking up things and painting things they could not pick up.
 
My wife loved to see me on the move all the time and when I returned home physically exhausted after a hard day of “work” she was convinced that I was working very hard. 
 
“I wish you had never retired,” my wife moans, “you just don’t do any work now-a-days. 
 
All you do is sit at home in front of your laptop whole day.”
“What about those techies – those IT Nerds?” I ask, “they sit on their backsides all day in comfortable air-conditioned offices, are transported back and forth to office in company buses, have a relaxed five day week and all the perks – they don’t even have to lift a finger.”
“They earn loads of money,” my sister-in-law says.
Oh, so that’s the second definition of work.
Work is associated with earning money
 
The more money you earn, the more you are working – the amount of work you do is directly proportional to the amount of money you earn.
That’s funny.
Whereas physical effort counts as work, whether you earn money or not, intellectual effort does not count as work, unless it earns you a lot of money.
To put it in gobbledygook:
Physical Work and Money may be mutually independent of each other; whereas Intellectual Work and Money are mutually interdependent, in fact, the quantum of intellectual work is measured the amount of money you earn for doing that work.
Now-a-days I am a wannabe writer. 
 
I spend my whole day reading, writing, surfing the internet and blogging and in doing these activities there is hardly any visible physical effort involved. 
 
So in my wife’s parlance I do not do any work.
Also, at present, my writing does not earn me any money. 
 
Yes, I have published a couple of books.
 
(My books have not earned me much money, at least till now). 
 
I am an avid blogger and write a blog post almost every day.
 
(Blogging does not earn me any money since I have not monetized my blog). 
 
And the novel I am trying to write (my wife wonders whether it will ever see the light of day) – I don’t know whether or when it will earn me any money. 
 
So, as per the second definition too, I don’t do any work.
Yes, it is so simple – while I engage in creative writing and blogging:
 
1. I am not seen making any physical effort
 
and 
 
2. I don’t make any money from my writing and blogging
 
So, as per the two definitions of work, I don’t do any work – QED. 
 
I am a lazy good-for-nothing guy who is wasting my time and doing nothing.
Maybe the novel I am writing will become a bestseller and earn me some money. 
 
Maybe someone may buy the movie rights of my novel and I may rake in the moolah.
 
Maybe my Blog may become famous and someone will offer me an attractive proposition or lucrative job.
 
Then the “effort” I am putting in my writing will qualify as “work”.
Till then, as far as my darling “hard working” wife and “money making” sister-in-law are concerned, the only “work” I do is to take my pet dog Sherry for long walks in the morning and in the evening!
“You are such a qualified, experienced and talented guy. Why are you not working? 
 
 Why do you sit at home whole day doing nothing? I am sure you can get a good job. 
 
As an Engineer, Designer, Manager, Consultant, even as a Professor – you don’t know your true worth – you can earn lots of money. So why are you wasting your time? Why don’t you do something instead of sitting at home all day?
 
Even if you want to write, the least you can do is write some professional stuff instead of writing fiction.”
I have to hear all these taunts all the time from all sorts of people.
Yes, it is true:
 
I have got many lucrative job offers. 
 
I can easily get a good job and “work” whole day.
But why don’t they understand? 
 
I don’t want a “job”. 
 
I want to write fiction. 
 
I want to write a novel. 
 
I want to write stories.
 
I want to Blog.
 
I have found my “calling” – I have discovered my metier, my true vocation – creative writing and Blogging.
I want to spend the rest of life writing, surrounded by my books and my diaries in which I have made notes all these years, in front of my laptop, researching on the internet, hammering away at the keyboard, writing fiction and Blogging away.
Yes, I am going to write.
 
I will write my novel.
 
I will write on my blog.
 
I will write short stories.
 
I will write whatever I want to write – but I am going to write, and I am going to focus on writing what I like best – fiction.
Well, if you think I am wasting my time doing nothing – so be it.
To those who say that I don’t do any work, good luck to you – I just don’t care what you say.
Because I am going to be busy writing. 
 
I know that this is hard work and I am working harder than I ever worked in my whole life, though it is not visible to you – either by way of physical effort or earning money.
And whenever I get the writer’s block, I’ll go off on a walk thinking creative thoughts with my pet dog Sherry who seems to be the only person who understands me.
I’ll end with an anecdote, a true story, narrated by a famous writer.
The writer’s wife scolded him: You say that you are a writer but I hardly see you writing. Most of the time you relax in your chair with your eyes closed.”
“Yes, I am “writing” all the time,” the writer said, “do you know what creative writing is? Writing is 90% creative thinking and only 10% is the physical process of writing.”
 
And to those of you who think I am doing nothing after my retirement and I am wasting my time, I will tell you this – just Google my name VIKRAM KARVE and you will be surprised to see how much I have “worked” after my retirement.
 
VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve 
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Did you like reading this blog post?
I am sure you will like all the 27 stories in my book  COCKTAIL an anthology of Short Fiction.
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html
COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

 
Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o
About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and an anthology of short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories and creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional  and academic research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramwamankarve@gmail.com

      

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
 
 

HOW TO ENJOY LIFE – The Six P’s

October 19, 2012

Click the link above to read the original post in my journal

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: The 6 P’s – HOW TO ENJOY LIFE.

Click the link above to read the original post in my journal

The article is also posted below for your convenience

The 6 P’s – HOW TO ENJOY LIFE

The 6 P’s

HOW TO ENJOY LIFE
Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE

http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/10/the-6-ps-how-to-enjoy-life.html

On page 58 of his war memoir “Himalayan Blunder” (The Curtain Raiser to the Sino-Indian War of 1962Brigadier John Parashuram Dalvi narrates an amusing story pertaining to the ill-fated “forward policy” which happened in NEFA (Arunachal Pradesh) sometime in 1960 when Indian Army Troops were being hastily rushed up into the mountains towards the China Border without any administrative or logistic arrangements.
A Commanding Officer of an Infantry Battalion, a Lieutenant Colonel famous for his pungent wit and sense of humour, got so fed up with the absence of any sort of supply system that he decided to use some heavy sarcasm and act in a facetious manner. He is reported to have sent one of his monthly routine reports on a “chappati” (a flat unleavened Indian Bread).
This caused some consternation in the Rear Head Quarters and the officer was asked to forward his “explanation”.
In reply, the Commanding Officer sent the now classic retort: “I regret the unorthodox nature of my stationery, but atta” (wheat flour) is the only commodity available for fighting, for feeding and for futile correspondence”.
I cannot recall exactly who told me this story, but I remember someone once saying that the officer who sent this hilarious reply was none other than General Eric Vas [Lt Gen EA Vas (15 May 1923-18 Aug 2009)] and if my memory serves me right, I think it was the very same General Eric Vas who, in one of his pep talk speeches, told us that if we wanted to enjoy service life we should not bother about three things:
PAY 
PROMOTION
POSTING
(He called them the 3 P’s). 
I think this dictum of the 3 P’s applies across the board, to all careers, including those in the private sector. But it certainly applies to the services, military and civil.
Many of us focus too much on money and perks (pay or salary or “package” – call it what you like). 
Nowadays, most elite educational institutions boast of the high salary packages their students are offered in campus placement interviews and it seems that pay is the primary consideration for selecting a job.
In my time too I found many of my colleagues comparing their PAY with others. 
Comparing your pay and perks with others is a sure shot formula to feel miserable, because it is natural tendency to compare with someone better-off than you.
If you want to feel unhappy and frustrated all you have to do is to live a comparative and competitive life.
So, like an ambitious careerist, make sure that you get into an all-out no-holds-barred competition for PROMOTION.
And to further add to your misery, don’t forget to compare your POSTING with your more fortunate colleagues 
(By “Posting” I mean not only the geographical location but also the type of appointment and designation).
So tomorrow, when you go to office, remember not to bother about the 3 P’s.
If you are obsessed with the 3 P’s, it is a guaranteed formula to make you frustrated and stressed out at work.
And if you want to enjoy your work and career, you know what to do – don’t bother about the 3 P’s – for it is a fact that if you live a non-comparative and non-competitive life you are sure to be happy and content.
Okay, so you did not bother about the 3 P’s (PAY, PROMOTION, POSTING) and enjoyed your service life, but one day you will retire and then you will have three more P’s which you should not worry about.
Yes, if you want to enjoy your retired life don’t bother about these 3 P’s:
POWER
PELF
PATRONAGE
When you retire you lose your “position power” – the higher you are the greater the loss of power. Many take it in their stride and enjoy their retirement, but some individuals who get addicted to power refuse to let go and cannot cope with the loss of power and keep hankering after it and make their lives miserable trying to get power.
I think this is the main reason why some people never retire and want to keep on working till their death.
And it is “patronage” that gets you those plum post-retirement assignments.
That is why you see so many senior persons behave in a most obsequious manner in the last years of their service – toadying and fawning to cultivate people and obtain their patronage. 
Another reason why individuals cannot enjoy their retirement and want to keep working after retirement  is “pelf” – these greedy money-minded individuals are never content with their savings and pension and want to keep on acquiring wealth till their death (though they know that they cannot take their wealth with them to heaven or hell after their death). In extremis, such pelf-oriented persons may even be ready to take up dubious wheeler-dealer jobs with euphemistic titles like “consultants” or “advisors” which sometimes can prove counter-productive and ruin their reputations forever.
Retirement is Bliss – if you can forget about the 3 P’s (Power, Pelf and Patronage).
In conclusion, I would like to say that your life boils down to 6 P’s.
Yes, if you want to enjoy life just don’t bother about the Six P’s –
The Three P’s while in service (PAY, PROMOTION, POSTING)
and
The Three P’s after retirement (POWER, PELF, PATRONAGE).
Dear Reader (Serving or Retired): Try it – stop worrying about these P’s and see for yourself how you can enjoy life. It works – you can take my word for it.
Please comment and tell us your views. As always, I look forward to your feedback.
 
VIKRAM KARVE 
Copyright © Vikram Karve 2012
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Did you like this post?
I am sure you will like the 27 fiction short stories from my recently published anthology of Short Fiction COCKTAIL 
To order your COCKTAIL please click any of the links below:
http://www.flipkart.com/cocktail-vikram-karve-short-stories-book-8191091844?affid=nme
http://www.indiaplaza.in/cocktail-vikram-karve/books/9788191091847.htm
http://www.apkpublishers.com/books/short-stories/cocktail-by-vikram-karve.html


COCKTAIL ebook
If you prefer reading ebooks on Kindle or your ebook reader, please order Cocktail E-book by clicking the links below:
AMAZON
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MGERZ6
SMASHWORDS
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/87925

Foodie Book:  Appetite for a Stroll
If your are a Foodie you will like my book of Food Adventures APPETITE FOR A STROLL. Do order a copy from FLIPKART:
http://www.flipkart.com/appetite-stroll-vikram-karve/8190690094-gw23f9mr2o

About Vikram Karve

A creative person with a zest for life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer and blogger. Educated at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School Pune, Vikram has published two books: COCKTAIL a collection of fiction short stories about relationships (2011) and APPETITE FOR A STROLL a book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel and a book of vignettes and short fiction. An avid blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories and self help in magazines and published a large number of professional research papers in journals and edited in-house journals and magazines for many years, before the advent of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse – his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative thoughts.

Vikram Karve Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.com
Professional Profile Vikram Karve: http://www.linkedin.com/in/karve
Vikram Karve Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/vikramkarve
Vikram Karve Creative Writing Blog: http://vikramkarve.sulekha.com/blog/posts.htm
Email: vikramkarve@sify.com

 
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
  
Posted by 

A Lazy Mumbai Story – THE MEANING OF FREEDOM

October 1, 2012

Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: THE MEANING OF FREEDOM.

Click the link above and read the story in my creative writing journal

 

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