“M” and M’s wife – a curious story

Today – Dear Friends – is the festival of Holi.

Holi is associated with Humor and free-for-all fun and frolic. 

Here is a Story from my Navy Days – apt for the occasion…

“M” and M’s Wife

A Spoof By Vikram Karve 

Naval Academy Cochin (now called Kochi) 

Circa – Mid 1970’s 

WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY…? 

The moment we reported to the Naval Academy (NAVAC) at Cochin (Kochi) – we were asked the quintessential question:

“Why did you join the Navy…?”

Most of us gave unimaginative stereotyped answers which everyone had heard before.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was different.

Sub Lieutenant “M” said:

“I joined the Navy to drink good Booze…”

(Those days – the Junior-most Officer Rank in the Army/Navy/Air Force was Second Lieutenant (2^nd/Lt), Acting Sub Lieutenant (Ag Sub Lt) and Pilot Officer (P/O) respectively. 

In the year 2004 – thanks to the AVS Cadre Review Bonanza – this junior-most officer rank was abolished – and Defence Officers were commissioned directly as Lieutenants/Sub Lieutenants/Flying Officers in the Army/Navy/Air Force respectively – which were the ranks above the erstwhile “2^nd Lt”/“Ag Sub Lt”/“Pilot Officer” – the lowest officer ranks earlier) 

Dear Reader: After this digression – let me start telling you the story again:

The moment we reported to Naval Academy (NAVAC) Cochin (Kochi) – we were asked the quintessential question:

“Why did you join the Navy…?”

Most of us gave unimaginative stereotyped answers which everyone had heard before.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was different.

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” said:

“I joined the Navy to drink good Booze…”

“What did you say…?” the Officer-in-charge bellowed at Acting Sub Lieutenant “M”

Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” nonchalantly said:

“Sir – I said that I joined the Navy to drink good booze…” 

The Officer-in-charge and Staff Officers of NAVAC thought that Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was joking.

But – Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” was dead serious.

He had indeed joined the Navy to drink good booze.

We were “University Entry Officers”.

We were selected via the “University Entry Scheme” (UES) – an “Earn while you Learn” Recruitment Scheme – which was highly successful in attracting the best Engineering Talent.

Under the UES – Navy Selection Teams visited premier Engineering Colleges/IITs/RECs (NITs) at the beginning of our pre-final year – and they interviewed and shortlisted suitable candidates – who had to appear before a Services Selection Board (SSB) at Allahabad, Bhopal or Bangalore.

Those selected by the SSB – and found medically fit – were offered a commission as an Officer in the Navy from the beginning of their final year of Engineering.

So – we were Naval Officers drawing handsome pay during our final year of Engineering – owing to which we enjoyed great prestige and relative affluence as compared to our fellow student classmates.

On completion of our B. Tech. / BE courses – we joined the Naval Academy – for Basic and Divisional (B&D) Training.

We had heard that – during his final year in Engineering College – “M” had taken his appointment letter (as an officer in the Indian Navy) to a Military Unit near his college – and he had managed to get a Liquor Card from the Unit CSD Canteen which enabled him to enjoy his full “Booze Quota” of “Military Rum” during his final year of Engineering.

Coming back to the Naval Academy – on our very first “liberty” a month after joining training – while we headed for Movie Halls and Restaurants in Ernakulam Town – Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” rushed to nearest Bar to get gloriously drunk.

In fact – “M” enjoyed himself so much – downing peg after peg of Rum – to “cure” his “thirst” – that he passed out “dead drunk” in the Bar.

Luckily for “M” – a “Good Samaritan” saw his Navy ID Card.

The “Good Samaritan” carried the blissfully “comatose” Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” into his car – then he drove down to the Naval Base – and deposited “M” outside the OOD’s Office.

This episode resulted in some heavy “punishments” and “restrictions” for “M” – including cancellation of his “liberty” (“shore leave” in Navy Jargon) till the end of the term.

The “powers-that-be” realized that Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” meant business – as far as his reason for joining the Navy was concerned.

However – “M” was not to be deterred from his aim.

And – within a few days – he used his initiative to get access to booze.

As I told you – we were already Officers when we joined the Naval Academy (NAVAC) – and we were drawing full pay and allowances.

So – we dined in the Officers’ Wardroom – the Southern Naval Area (SNA) Wardroom Officers’ Mess.

(Yes – those days it was a Naval Area – not a Naval Command. A few years later – SNA was upgraded to SNC (Southern Naval Command)…)

Of course – since we were not allowed to wear stripes during training – we dined in a separate “Gun Room” – but – we were full-fledged members of the Wardroom Officers Mess.

There were no “free” authorized rations those days – so – as officers – we paid for our food – unlike cadets – who dined in cadet dining halls in the Academy and got free food.

During Basic Training – we were not officially allowed to drink liquor – but we were permitted to smoke – and we bought our cigarettes at the Wardroom Bar by signing chits – since we were full-fledged members of the Wardroom Mess.

On working day evenings – we dined in “Red Sea Rig” uniform.

On Weekends/Sundays/Holidays – we were permitted to wear “civvies”.

One Sunday evening – while we were buying cigarettes at the Bar – “M” asked the steward for a Large Peg of Rum – and – with confident flourish – “M” signed a chit for the Rum.

The steward served “M” a Large Peg of Rum.

It was as simple as that.

From then on – every evening – “M” would sneak out from his cabin during the pre-dinner “Study Hour” – and head for the Wardroom Bar for his daily quota of Rum – and then – after quickly downing a few pegs of Rum “down-the-hatch” – “M” would  join us for dinner in the “Gun Room”.

Once our Basic Training was over – and we passed out of the Naval Academy – we could officially drink all the liquor we wanted to – especially top class premium “duty free” foreign liquor on ships.

For Acting Sub Lieutenant “M” – the choicest “duty free” foreign liquor was a bonanza – the very raison d’être – for which he had joined the Navy.

“M” had a great time in the Navy – especially on board ships – drinking all the booze he wanted to his heart’s content – fully realising his cardinal aim of joining the Navy –> “I joined the Navy to drink good Booze…”

10 Years Later 

IAT Girinagar Pune

Circa – Mid 1980’s

“M” enjoyed his bachelor days “soaked in alcohol” – imbibing all the booze he could lay his hands on.

For “M” – it was the happiest time of his life – and the Navy was the best thing that had happened to him.

Sadly – one day – “M” got married.

And – even worse – “M” got a “tough cookie” teetotaller wife – who cracked down heavily on his drinking.

In fact – his redoubtable wife banned alcohol in the house – and she kept an “eagle eye” on her husband at parties.

So – “M” would surreptitiously gulp a few quick “down-the-hatch” pegs of Rum whenever he got an opportunity – followed by some cardamom (Elaichi) to mask the smell of alcohol.

A few years later – “M” landed up as a “student” for an advanced specialization course at IAT Girinagar Pune – where I was his instructor.

Every evening – “M” would tell his wife that he wanted to “clear some doubts” about the subject I was teaching him – and he would land up in my house.

Of course – there were no academic “doubts” he wanted cleared.

“M” would have three quick pegs of Rum at my place.

And then – “M” would head home feeling “high” and “happy”.

When his wife questioned him on his “happy” state – “M” would plead that I was his instructor – and I had offered him a drink.

“M” told his wife I would get annoyed if he refused my generous offer of a drink – and this may affect his grades in the course.

M’s wife blamed me for “spoiling” her husband.

One day – M’s wife had her revenge on me.

On Holi evening – I was taking a long evening walk to sober up from the boisterous drunken Holi celebrations in the morning.

M’s wife waved out to me – and – she called me to her lawn.

“M” was probably sleeping inside – “dead drunk”.

While celebrating Holi with full gusto – “M” had “passed out” in the morning after surreptitiously downing huge amounts of a deadly cocktail of  “Rum and Beer”.

(“M” had taken advantage of the fact that his “beloved” wife had magnanimously permitted “M” to have one bottle of Beer – as a special case for the occasion of HOLI 

So – “M” had heavily “fortified” his Beer with plenty of Rum – he had poured almost half a bottle of Rum into his bottle of Beer. 

After imbibing this huge amount of booze in a short time – “M” got totally drunk – and soon – “M” collapsed unconscious into drunken stupor – and he had to be carried home…) 

Coming back to our story…

On HOLI evening – when I was taking a long evening walk to sober up from the boisterous morning celebrations – M’s wife waved out to me and she called me to her lawn.

“M” was probably sleeping inside – still in drunken stupor – after his “glorious” Holi “celebration” in the morning.

I walked across the lawn to the M’s wife.

M’s wife looked charmingly at me.

“You drank too much in the morning. I will give you something really good to cure your hangover…” M’s wife said with a tender smile.

I accepted her kind invitation.

M’s wife asked me to sit on a chair in the verandah – and then – she went inside.

After some time – M’s wife emerged from kitchen – and – with an innocent smile – she served me a glass of Khus “Sherbet” cool drink.

What I did not know was that M’s wife had laced the cool green Khus “Sherbet” with a heavy dose of “Bhang”.

Yes – M’s wife had spiked the cool drink with deadly intoxicating “Bhang”  (cannabis)

M’s wife had slipped me a potent “Mickey Finn”.

And – I naively drank the “Bhang” spiked cool drink.

Yes – I unsuspectingly drank the intoxicating “Bhang” spiked “Sherbet”.

Soon – the “Bhang” started having effect – and I started feeling “high”.

I wondered why M’s wife was giving me such a “sweet” smile…?

Was she trying to…???

Dear Reader: 

What do you think happened thereafter…?

Well – that’s another story…

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This is a fictional spoof, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Link to my source post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/03/mickey-finn-story-from-my-navy-days-for.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Updated, Abridged and Revised Version of My Story WHY DID YOU JOIN THE NAVY posted online by me on November 16, 2015 in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/11/why-did-you-join-navy-humor-in-uniform.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/01/humor-in-uniform-why-acting-sub.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/humor-in-uniform-why-did-you-join-navy.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/humor-in-uniform-my-coursemate-m.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/03/a-humor-in-uniform-story-on-occasion-of.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/10/31/humor-in-uniform-unforgettable-characters-i-met-in-the-navy-sub-lieutenant-m/ and  http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/03/mickey-finn-story-from-my-navy-days-for.html  etc

Bawdy Humor : A Ribald Story for Holi : Bura Na Mano – Holi Hai : A Naval Yarn – The “Fleet Auxiliary” Called Semaphore Signal

Today is Holi.

A day for bawdy humour and raunchy jokes.

So – Dear Reader – let me post for you a ribald Naval Yarn – a rather risque story – maybe apocryphal – certainly “spiced” up – for you to enjoy.

Have a laugh – it is just a yarn – no offence meant to anybody – like they say: “Don’t mind – it’s Holi…!!!” –  Bura na mano – Holi hai 

THE “FLEET AUXILIARY” CALLED SEMAPHORE SIGNAL 

Hilarious Story from My Delightful Navy Days

A Fictional Spoof By VIKRAM KARVE

Disclaimer:

1. Please read this apocryphal story only if you have a sense of humor. This naval yarn is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. And yes, this story is for mature adults only, so if you are a kid, or an overly gender sensitive type, please skip this post. 
2. Please note that more than 42 years ago –in the 1970’s –it was an all-male Navy – where bawdy jokes, ribaldry and profane language was the order of the day – and concepts like gender-sensitivity were unheard of – and this story is written in that spirit.
3. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

THE “FLEET AUXILIARY” CALLED “SEMAPHORE SIGNAL”

PROLOGUE

I close my eyes – and – in my mind’s eye – I mentally go back in time – more than 42 years ago in time – to the 1970’s – and reminisce about my halcyon Navy days – the happiest days of my life – and let delightful memories of those glorious Navy days perambulate in my brain.

This morning – as I delved into my halcyon Navy Days – floating over my time line – I suddenly remembered that unforgettable episode about the “Fleet Auxiliary” who I had nicknamed “Semaphore Signal”.

Let me tell you about it.

Please read the yarn and do tell me if you enjoyed reading the story, and I shall spin some more yarns for you.

I enjoy spinning yarns, some true, some spiced up with lots of salt and pepper, and some apocryphal.

Like I said, I am going to spin a few Naval Yarns for you.

Now – Dear Reader – you’ve got to remember one thing:

More than 42 years ago – in the 1970’s – it was an all-male Navy – where bawdy jokes, ribaldry and profane language was the order of the day – and concepts like gender-sensitivity were unheard of – and this story is written in that spirit.

So let me reminisce and spin a few yarns for you to enjoy, no offence meant to anybody.

I just want to make you laugh and drive away your blues, and mine too.

I am sure you have a good sense of humour and you will enjoy these yarns in the right spirit and take it with a pinch of salt.

The “Fleet Auxiliary” called “Semaphore Signal” – a Spoof by Vikram Karve 

“FLEET AUXILIARIES”

We had returned to port after a long sailing – and – in the evening – I decided to visit my course-mate “Horny” on his ship – which was parked just ahead of us.

Unlike mine – his was a small ship – and the atmosphere was totally informal – with just a “Snotty” Midshipman and a Sailor leisurely manning the gangway.

(In Royal Navy slang – a Midshipman is sometimes referred to as a “Snotty”.

Two popular stories give origins for the term Snotty for Midshipmen. 

The first claims that it arose from a shortage of handkerchiefs among Midshipmen – who would consequently use their sleeves to wipe their noses.

The other story claims that the three buttons formerly sewn onto midshipmen’s jacket cuffs were placed there to prevent them from wiping their noses on their sleeves…)

I identified myself – I told them who I wanted to meet – my coursemate “Horny”.

And – I started walking inside – when the “Snotty” said to me:

“Sir – just a moment – he is busy right now – someone is there with him in his cabin.”

“He is busy…? Okay. I’ll come later. Just tell him I had come…” I said – and – I started to walk away.

“Sir, why don’t you speak to him…?” the Snotty said.

The Midshipman (“Snotty”)  – he dialled “Horny” in his cabin – and – he held out the phone to me.

“Hey, don’t go…” Horny said, “just come down to my cabin.”

Horny was waiting for me outside his cabin – and I could see that he was genuinely happy to see me.

“So nice to see you after so many days. Come inside…” he said – opening the door of his cabin.

I was taken aback in surprise by what I saw in his cabin.

A woman was lying on his bunk.

On the side-table – there was a bottle of my favourite Premium Scotch Whisky.

I was not surprised at seeing the girl.

Horny was a known Casanova famous for his peccadilloes.

What surprised me was the bottle of whisky – because Horny was a strict teetotaller.

Horny introduced me.

The girl made no effort to get up.

She continued to lie down on the bunk in her supine position.

The girl smiled at me.

I smiled back.

Then Horny pointed outside and said to me:

“Why don’t you sit in the wardroom for some time…?

We will finish off our business and join you in a few minutes.

The bar, the fridge, everything is open – so just help yourself to a drink and whatever you want…”

It was just 6 PM in the evening – so – I poured myself a beer – switched on the TV – and I relaxed in the wardroom waiting for Horny and his “consort”.

I was two beers down by the time Horny joined me in the wardroom.

“Girlfriend…?” I asked him.

“No…” Horny said, “She is just a “Fleet Auxiliary”…”

AN EXPLANATORY DIGRESSION… 

Let me digress a bit and tell you the difference between Fleet Auxiliary and “Fleet Auxiliary”

Fleet Auxiliary 

The former Fleet Auxiliary is a support ship, like an oil tanker, a supply vessel, a depot ship, or a hospital ship, which supports the main fleet.

“Fleet Auxiliary” (in quotation marks)

The latter “Fleet Auxiliary” is a moniker – a nickname given to a girl who “supports” the men who man the Naval Fleet – by having a “good time” with them – and helps them quench their carnal passions.

This story is about this second type of “Fleet Auxiliary”.

Dear Reader – let me tell you that – with a “Fleet Auxiliary” – it is a “no-strings-attached” amorous relationship.

Of course – there may be a bit of “give-and-take” – a sort of “barter” – like sometimes – where the “Fleet Auxiliary” gets to drink the best booze – and gets some gifts like an expensive perfume – or some exquisite Swiss chocolates – as a “quid pro quo” – in return for her “favours”…

Let me tell you that in those golden days of the “License, Quota, Permit Raj” of the 1970’s – when prized and coveted foreign goodies were was not available in the domestic market – and we in the Navy got them duty-free on board ships – a Naval Officer was quite high up on the social ladder.

Regrettably – the advent of liberalization and globalization changed everything – and nowadays – a Naval Officer is no longer the crème de la crème of society anymore – because today – money determines your status – and businessmen, entrepreneurs and celebrities are the new “role models”.

And – as far as “Fleet Auxiliaries” are concerned – it looks like they have disappeared from the fleet and found greener pastures – because when I asked a young “Subbie” about it a few days ago – he seemed totally clueless…

Digression Over – Story Continues … 

WHY THE “FLEET AUXILIARY” WAS CALLED “SEMAPHORE SIGNAL”

“Oh. So – she is your latest “Fleet Auxiliary”…? But – she looks quite a “Plain Jane”…” I remarked.

“Never a judge a chick by her looks…” Horny said, “I can tell you from my own experience. Most of those gorgeous chic beauties who look like sex bombs turn out to be damp squibs – but these prosaic looking “Plain Jane” types are terrific. Just like this one. She is really great. Just three drinks – and she is ready for action…”

“Three drinks…?” I asked.

“Yes – just three large pegs of neat whisky – and she is all “primed up” – ready for action…” Horny said.

“Really…?” I said, incredulous.

“The first drink – she lies horizontal. The second one – she puts her legs up by 45 degrees. And – the moment she has her third drink – her legs go straight up to vertical position – and – she is ready for action…” Horny said.

“Like a “Semaphore Signal”…” I said.

“Semaphore Signal…? You mean the Flags…?” Horny asked me.

“No. No. Not Naval Semaphore Signalling. I am talking about Railway Semaphore Signalling…” I said.

“Railway Semaphore Signalling…?” he asked, confused.

“Yes. Railway Semaphore Signalling. To be precise your passionate “Fleet Auxiliary” can be described as a “Three Position Multiple Aspect Upper Quadrant (or MAUQ) Semaphore Signal”…”

“Hey – stop the mumbo jumbo and explain to me in simple language…” Horny said.

Now – I am no great raconteur – so I picked up a pencil and piece a paper – I drew some pictures – and I explained the salient aspects of Semaphore Signalling.

If you want to know what I told Horny – have a look at the picture below:

               

 

Multiple Aspect Upper Quadrant (MAUQ) Semaphore Signalling

The images above are from the Indian Railways Fan Club (IRFCA) Website Post on Signalling Systems. Indian Railways Fan Club (IRFCA) is a hobby group for discussing all aspects of railways in India. You may read the post on semaphore signals by clicking the url link:  http://www.irfca.org/faq/faq-signal2.html

SEMAPHORE SIGNALLING 

Dear Reader – Please see the two railway semaphore signals in the picture above.

Let’s look at the red coloured semaphore signal first.

The arm at horizontal position means “stop” – inclined upwards at 45 degrees means “caution” – and the arm in the vertical position means “all clear” – and the train can proceed.

Now – let’s look at the yellow coloured semaphore signal.

I think – that in the context of this story – the yellow coloured signal seems more apt:

STOP – ATTENTION – PROCEED 

Now – just imagine the legs of the girl (our “fleet auxiliary”) in place of the arm of the signal.

First Drink – Legs Horizontal – STOP 

Second Drink – Legs inclined upwards by 45 degrees – ATTENTION

Third Drink – Legs Vertical – PROCEED

On hearing my explanation – Horny burst out laughing – and we both laughed for a long time.

We were still laughing when “Semaphore Signal” joined us in the wardroom.

She had freshened up.

We talked.

I liked her.

Though she was quite chubby and ordinary looking – she had a very friendly smile – and she exuded a sort of affable charm.

We all had a drink of Whisky – and then – Horny dropped the girl (“Semaphore Signal”) at the bus stop near Museum on his bike – and he returned to the ship and we continued drinking.

Life moved on.

Horny moved on.

And – I moved on.

And – of course – the “Fleet Auxiliary” called “Semaphore Signal” moved on in life too – though – I did see her a few times – circulating around in the Fleet.

Many years passed – and I had forgotten all about this episode.

One day – I unexpectedly ran into “Semaphore Signal” while browsing in a bookstore located in a Mall.

I recognized her at once.

She was the very same “Fleet Auxiliary” I had nicknamed “Semaphore Signal”.

Now – so many years later – she had turned a bit plump – but otherwise – she looked the same chubby girl with a sincere, friendly smile which radiated the same charming warmth.

I smiled at her.

She did not smile back.

In fact – she totally ignored me – showing absolutely no trace of recognition.

Then – she turned and walked towards the exit of the bookstore.

She walked out of the bookstore – and – she stood in the foyer.

I followed her with my eyes – and I positioned myself so that I could clearly see her.

She took out her mobile phone from her purse – dialled a number – held the cell-phone near her ear and she spoke briefly.

Then she walked into the Food Court of the Mall – and she sat down on a vacant table.

I kept down the book I was browsing – I walked out of the bookstore into the spacious food court – and I sat down on a table – from where I could see her clearly.

She knew that I was stalking her – but she avoided looking directly in my direction.

Suddenly – a small girl came running and ran into her arms.

The girl was followed by a man – who smiled at her and sat down opposite her.

They were talking – maybe they were discussing what to eat – mother, father and daughter – a happy family.

I noticed that “Semaphore Signal” exuded the bliss of domesticity.

I felt happy for her – a “Fleet Auxiliary” so happily settled down in family life.

It was time for me to leave.

I got up – I looked at her for the last time – and – I started to turn away.

Just as I was turning away – “Semaphore Signal” looked in my direction.

She gave me a fleeting glance – a brief smile of recognition.

Then – she looked down at her daughter and started talking to her.

EPILOGUE

As I walked away after the encounter – I felt happy for “Semaphore Signal”.

She was one of the fortunate “Fleet Auxiliaries” who had put her past behind – she had moved on into a new world – and settled down into a happy married life – the bliss of domesticity.

Other “Fleet Auxiliaries” were not so lucky.

Some “Fleet Auxiliaries” could not move on in life – and they persisted with their ways – till age overcame them – and then – the only future the could look forward to was to live a life of a lonely spinster – an old maid – with only reminisces to think about.

A few “Fleet Auxiliaries” managed to “trap” a gullible Naval Officer into marriage.

Some marriages succeeded – but – many such marriages ended in disaster – since the “Fleet Auxiliaries” remained in the same naval environment and did not escape to a new world.

Much as they tried – the “Fleet Auxiliaries” could not prevent the shadow of their past life from haunting their present lives.

I don’t know why – but – whenever I see a woman drinking whisky – I remember “Semaphore Signal”.

Yes – whenever I see a woman drinking whisky – the episode of “The “Fleet Auxiliary” called Semaphore Signal” is rekindled in my mind – I hark back to those delightful Navy days – and a smile comes to my lips.

I really do not know if there is a connection between alcohol and promiscuity – but then as my Navy Friend Romeo would boast: “Give me a woman who drinks and I can get her into bed”.

And – he proved his theory – time and again.

But that is another story – one more yarn I will spin some day.

Till then – let me hark back with nostalgia to the story of “The “Fleet Auxiliary” called Semaphore Signal”.

NB: 

By the way – the Railways have replaced Traditional Semaphore Signals with Electric Light Signals – and – I don’t think you will see a traditional Semaphore Signal anymore. 

But that doesn’t matter. 

The next time you see a railway signal – or a traffic signal – and as you watch it changing colour – do remember this story – and have a laugh.

Dear Reader: 

Have a laugh – it is just a yarn – it’s Holi – so – no offence meant to anybody – like they say: 

“Don’t mind – it’s Holi…!!!” (Bura na mano – Holi hai)

Keep Laughing and have a Happy Holi. 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This apocryphal story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. Please note that more than 42 years ago –in the 1970’s –it was an all-male Navy – where bawdy jokes, ribaldry and profane language was the order of the day – and concepts like gender-sensitivity were unheard of – and this story is written in that spirit.
3. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my source post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:  http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/06/humor-in-uniform-fleet-auxiliary-called.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This Story was written by me Vikram Karve more than 7 years ago in January 2012 and posted online earlier in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve by me Vikram Karve at 10/31/2012 02:15:00 PM at url link:
http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/10/a-fleet-auxiliary-called-semaphore.html  

and reposted online by me Vikram Karve a number of times including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/humor-in-uniform-story-of-semaphore.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/the-fleet-auxiliary-called-semaphore.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/12/memoirs-of-fauji-failure-fleet.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/humor-in-uniform-fleet-auxiliary-called.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/09/26/humor-the-fleet-auxiliary-called-semaphore-signal/ etc