How to be Happy – Part 2 : The Happiness Equation

HOW TO BE HAPPY

continued from How to be Happy – Part 1 : The Happiness List url:  https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/03/04/how-to-be-happy-part-1-the-happiness-list/

HOW TO BE HAPPY – PART 2 : THE HAPPINESS EQUATION

Self Help Musings By Vikram Karve 

THE HAPPINESS EQUATION

Happiness may be expressed as degree to which you can fulfill your desires.

In a nutshell:

Happiness is the ratio of Desires Fulfilled/Total Number of Desires

Have a look at the “Happiness Equation” below:

Happiness =  Desires Fulfilled / Total Number of Desires

We can increase our happiness by either:

1. Increasing the Numerator (Fulfilling Your Existing Desires)

Or

2. Decreasing the Denominator (Decreasing the Desires in Your Mind)

The second option is easier.

How do you achieve this…?

How do you decrease your desires…?

It is simple.

Here is a “self help” article I wrote a few years ago on “Desire Management”

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR DESIRES
Philosophical Musings
By
VIKRAM KARVE

DESIRES and HAPPINESS

Over the years I have realized that the Two Main Reasons for Unhappiness are:

1. Dissatisfaction caused by unfulfilled desires

and

2. Anxiety that you will not be able to fulfill your desires in the future

There is a close connection between happiness and desire-satisfaction.

When you get what you want you feel happy and when you do not get what you want you feel unhappy.

Happiness results from getting what you want  (desire-satisfaction)

and

Unhappiness results from not getting what you want  (desire-frustration)

Therefore, there are two strategies you can pursue with respect to any given desire:

1. You can either strive to fulfill the desire

or

2. You can try to eliminate the desire

No philosopher has better explored this than Epicurus, a Greek Philosopher of the Third Century BC.

Epicurus (341-270 BC) espoused a strategy for achieving genuine human happiness by:

Emphasizing on the delights of the mind (over which you have control)

and

De-emphasizing the delights derived from material things (which are beyond your personal control).

This desire management strategy will help you scale down your desires to the basic minimum which can easily be satisfied.

Yes, you follow this this two phase desire management strategy:

1. Firstly, you scale down your desires to those desires which are feasible for you to fulfill

after doing that:

2. You satisfy those desires. 

This will make you happy since fulfilling a desire creates happiness.

TYPES OF DESIRES

Epicurus distinguishes between 3 types of desires:

1.      Natural and Necessary Desires

2.      Unnatural and Unnecessary (or Vain and Empty) Desires

3.      Natural but Non-necessary Desires

 

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE THREE TYPES OF DESIRES

Our tendency to happiness (or unhappiness) depends on how we tackle each of these three types of desires.

1. NATURAL and NECESSARY DESIRES

Examples of natural and necessary desires include the desires for food, shelter, health, sense of security and basic physical needs, cravings which will necessarily lead to greater pain if they are not fulfilled.

These basic desires are easy to satisfy yet difficult to eliminate since they are “hard-wired” into human beings naturally and create a sense of well-being when satisfied (eg. “Happiness begins at the stomach” )

Furthermore, natural and necessary desires are necessary for life, and these desires are naturally limited: that is, if one is hungry, it only takes a limited amount of food to fill the stomach, after which the desire is satisfied.

Epicurus says that you should try to satisfy natural and necessary desires.

2. VAIN and EMPTY DESIRES – UNNATURAL and UNNECESSARY DESIRES

Vain, unnatural and unnecessary desires include desires for excessive power, wealth, fame, and other egoistic ambitions which have all the trappings of status and prestige.

Vain desires are difficult to satisfy, in part because they have no natural limit.

If one desires wealth or power, no matter how much one gets, it is always possible to get more, and the more one gets, the more one wants.

These desires are not natural to human beings, but inculcated by society and by false beliefs about what we need.

For example, we falsely believe that being very powerful or wealthy or famous will guarantee us happiness.

In actual fact, Opulence may attract thieves and other dangers, and Power and Fame may attract sycophants.

Yes, such vain desires, which are unnatural and unnecessary, are sure to put you into the spiral of unhappiness.

Epicurus says that such vain and empty desires should be eliminated.

3. NATURAL but NON-NECESSARY DESIRES

An example of a natural but non-necessary desire is the desire for luxury food.

Although food is needed for survival, one does not need rich expensive gourmet food to survive.

Thus, despite his hedonism, Epicurus advocates a surprisingly ascetic way of life.

Although you should not spurn extravagant foods if they happen to be available, becoming dependent on such luxury food (and other luxuries) ultimately leads to unhappiness.

These natural but non-necessary desires are those cravings that are not necessary for life, but give you great happiness.

However, should you become dependent on them, such desires can lead to great unhappiness if they are not fulfilled.

Natural but non-necessary desires are typically recreational in nature 

Examples of such desires include Sexual Gratification, Friendship, Aesthetic Desires, Entertainment, Social Intercourse, Creative Expression and Intellectual Stimulation, Liberal Arts, Reading, Social Networking, Sports, Travel etc

In the case of natural but non-necessary desires you must approach life like a banquet.

Think of your life as if it were a banquet where you would behave graciously.

When a dish is passed to you, extend your hand and help yourself to a moderate portion.

If a dish should pass you by then enjoy what is already on your plate.

And if a dish has not been passed to you yet you must patiently wait for your turn.

In the same way as described above, you must treat your desires in the same way as you deal with food in a sit down dinner banquet.

CONCLUSION

To paraphrase Epicurus:

If you wish to make a man truly Happy

DO NOT GIVE HIM MORE MONEY

rather

If you really want to make a man Happy

TRY TO TEACH HIM HOW TO REDUCE HIS DESIRES

The Epicurean Philosophy of Life recommends that:

You must strive to do two things to be happy:

1. Eliminate the unhappiness caused by unfulfilled desires

and

2. Reduce the anxiety that occurs because of the fear that your desires will not be fulfilled in the future

Adopting this wise Epicurean philosophy of life will enable you to attain tranquility and enjoy everlasting happiness.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/happiness-equation-how-to-be-happy.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This Self-Help Article was written by me more than 24 years ago in 1995 and Posted Online Earlier in this Blog by Vikram Karve at 9/09/2014 07:49:00 PM at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/09/self-help-musings-how-to-be-happy.html  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/05/26/how-to-be-happy-2/and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/11/07/how-to-be-happy-the-happiness-equation/      http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/03/self-help-how-to-be-happy-happiness.html

How to be Happy – Part 1 : The Happiness List

A Navy Friend – who has recently retired from his “second innings” in “civvy street” – he asked me:

“You seem to enjoying your retired life. Tell me – how can I be happy in my retired life…?”

(Apparently – this Navy Friend (and many others) – they think that I am happy…!!!)

He recalled some articles I had posted on the subject in my blog and asked me to repost them for his benefit.

So – for him – and all my readers – let me delve deep into my blog – and post two articles on the topic “HOW TO BE HAPPY”.

How to be Happy – Part 1 : The Happiness List

How to be Happy – Part 2 : The Happiness Equation

Dear Reader: Do read both the articles and give me your feedback…

HOW TO BE HAPPY – PART 1 : THE HAPPINESS LIST  

A few moments ago – I heard a melodious song on Vividh Bharati Radio.

I felt happy.

And – I remembered an article I had written 19 years ago, in the year 2000, based on this philosophical quote by Taoist Philosopher Mingliaotse:

“The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild…” 

It has been my experience too – that:

“MILD” PLEASURES GIVE YOU MAXIMUM HAPPINESS

So – let me delve deep into my “SELF HELP” Archives and dig out this article for you to read.

IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY – KEEP YOUR PLEASURES MILD
Self Help Musings of a Veteran
By
VIKRAM KARVE 

HAPPINESS – a Philosophical Approach

The primary aim of philosophy and spirituality is to help ordinary people live a life of happiness, fulfillment, inner peace and tranquility.

Every day you ask yourself:

How do I live a happy life…?

Is it simple to be happy…?

What is the “Art of Happiness”…? 

PLEASURE and HAPPINESS

Let us see what the Taoist philosopher Mingliaotse has to say:

“The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild…”

You know that whenever pleasure is present you are happy – this is a fact that cannot be denied.

A pleasure is an enjoyable event or delightful emotion which is bound to make you happy – at least for that moment.

Highfalutin philosophers and spiritual gurus may prescribe various impracticable esoteric paths of renunciation, asceticism or sectarian precepts eschewing enjoyment and pleasure as the sine qua non of happiness.

Yes – many “Gurus” prescribe living a staid ascetic life which entails eschewing of all enjoyment and pleasure as a prerequisite for attaining happiness and enlightenment.

But the fact of the matter is – that to the ordinary person – Happiness and Pleasure are inextricably intertwined.

Yes – Pleasures make you Happy – and you know it.

Discovering simple enduring pleasures – which you can easily and regularly achieve, realize and enjoy in your day-to-day life – will produce contentment, fulfillment and happiness.

Pleasure is certainly not a bad thing in itself.

But wanton pursuit of pleasures is counterproductive – as it leads to over-indulgence and excesses – which bring with them disturbances which are detrimental to our health, happiness and well-being.

In your search for happiness – you tend to indulge in lavish parties, unrestrained extravagance, conspicuous consumption, compulsive shopping, thoughtless profligacy, limitless spending, expensive entertainments etc.

You try to enjoy everything at once.

You want instant gratification by over-indulgence in drinking, eating, revelry and sensual pleasures – stretching yourself to the maximum limits possible.

At first – you enjoy yourself – and feel happy.

Then – you come to the point of satiety – and you begin to feel a sense of repulsion.

And – if you overdo yourself – next morning you wake up sick and feeling miserable with a sense of sadness and depression rather than happiness.

You may think that grandiose, ostentatious, lavish, unrestrained and intemperate indulgences will ostensibly make you happy.

But – in actual fact – these over-indulgences may render you stressed-out and unhappy – and cause you harm and misery in the long run.

There is no need to overdo things in order to be happy.

Just keep your pleasures mild.

Enjoying a simple, tasty and healthy meal with your loved ones and friends – or just sitting quietly in solitude and leisurely reading a good book or enjoying melodious music – or taking a walk observing nature – or enjoying your work, leisure, hobbies – are some mild pleasures which will make you happy and keep you healthy too.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR PLEASURES MILD 

Step 1 

IDENTIFY ALL YOUR PLEASURES AND MAKE A “HAPPINESS LIST”

It is simple to be happy.

The first thing you must do is to introspect and list your most pleasurable activities.

Yes – make a HAPPINESS LIST including all the things, activities, places and people that give you true joy, happiness and satisfaction.

Your happiness list must cover all aspects of your life.

Make your “happiness list” as exhaustive as possible.

Step 2 

IDENTIFY “MILD PLEASURES” FROM YOUR “HAPPINESS LIST”

From this comprehensive “HAPPINESS LIST” – you must select those “Mild Pleasures” that you can enjoy every day – or very frequently – or very often.

Identify those “Mild Pleasures” that are Feasible and Viable for you to enjoy Frequently.

Then – incorporate these pleasures in your routine – and fit them into your daily life.

See what happens.

Some “pleasures” that you thought would make you happy – they actually do the opposite – don’t they…?

These are “pseudo pleasures” which you thought would make you happy – but your experience shows – that these “pseudo pleasures” actually cause you stress and unhappiness in the long run.

Step 3 

DELETE “PSEUDO PLEASURES” FROM YOUR “HAPPINESS LIST”

Delete those “pleasures” that you first thought would give you happiness – but actually made you feel stressed-out or depressed.

Yes – remove those things that you thought would be satisfying – but actually turned out to be unrewarding.

Experiment – make changes – be watchful – be dynamic.

Do not hesitate to add new items to your list.

You can always remove them – if they fail to produce the desired results.

Fine tune your HAPPINESS LIST – and religiously put into daily practice your happiness list – and experience happiness every day.

BE HAPPY

This prescription of keeping your pleasures mild will enable you to structure your life in way where your happiness will be in your control – and you will find greater joy in your life.

It will be feasible and within your control to ensure that you enjoy these mild pleasures daily – or at least fairly regularly.

With only limited waking hours during the day – these enjoyable events will begin to crowd out the unpleasant activities in your daily life.

This will make you feel fulfilled and happy.

Dear Reader – start today – keep your pleasures mild so that you can enjoy these simple pleasures every day – and discover the true art of happiness – the art of living.

Discover the mild pleasures that make you truly happy and joyful.

And do let me know your experience – did this simple philosophy of keeping your pleasures mild make you happier?

It is easy to be happy – isn’t it…?

Remember:

The art of attaining happiness consists in keeping your pleasures mild

Dear Reader:

Have you made your “Happiness List”…?

Take the first step towards becoming Happy.

Start making your HAPPINESS LIST right now…

(continued in How to be Happy – Part 2 : The Happiness Equation)

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. So please do due diligence before trying out this technique.
2. All stories in this blog area work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/06/how-to-be-happy.html

I wrote this article 19 years ago, in the year 2000, and have posted it online in my blogs a number of times including in 2005 at url: http://creative.sulekha.com/the-art-of-happiness-by-vikram-karve_32504_blog  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/01/happiness-mantra-keep-your-pleasures.html andhttp://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/05/do-you-want-to-feel-happy-then-keep.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/you-can-be-happy-if-you-keep-your.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/12/how-to-be-happy-mild-pleasures-give-you.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/self-help-if-you-want-to-be-happy-keep.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/04/23/if-you-want-to-be-happy-keep-your-pleasures-mild/ and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/06/15/happiness-made-simple-2/and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/08/28/do-you-have-a-happiness-list/ and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/have-you-made-your-happiness-list.html

Humor – Arranged Marriage vs Love Marriage

Read this [ short story ] called ‘Marriage – Arranged vs Love’ by vikramkarve here – https://terriblytinytales.com/tale/2gg7nD5idCW