“Notional Loss”
Spoof by Vikram Karve
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STORY
One day – a man went to visit a patient in hospital.
The patient was his office colleague convalescing in hospital after heart surgery – following a massive heart attack.
Fascinated by the sophisticated and luxurious facilities in the hospital – the man asked his recuperating friend how much the heart surgery had cost him.
“Over 5 lakhs…” the patient said.
“My God – 5 Lakhs – that’s expensive. How can you afford it…?”
“Medical Reimbursement…” the patient said.
“Medical Reimbursement…? Does that mean that you don’t have to pay any money for all this medical treatment…?” the man asked.
“Of course I don’t have to pay from my own pocket – they pay everything. That is why I joined the medical health insurance scheme. All office staff are members of this scheme. You too are a member – aren’t you…? So even if you have a heart surgery – they will pay everything…” the patient said.
“Really…? Is it true. If I have a heart attack right here – here and now – will they will pay for all my treatment…?” the man asked.
“Of course they will pay. You are a member of the health insurance scheme. You are entitled all medical treatment – just like me…” the patient said.
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After talking to the patient – for some time – the man kept brooding.
He appeared to be in low spirits.
Then suddenly – the man started shouting in the hospital:
“I want to have a heart attack – I want to have a heart attack…”
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Everyone was stunned by his strange behaviour.
Doctors tried to calm him down.
But – the man kept on screaming loudly:
“I want to have a heart attack – I want to have a heart attack…”
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So – they evicted him from the hospital.
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Later – when he had cooled down – his wife and his friends asked him the reason for his crazy behaviour in the hospital.
“I have lost 5 Lakh Rupees…!!!” the man said.
“You have lost 5 lakh Rupees…? Where…? How did you lose Five Lakh Rupees…?” they all asked
“I lost 5 lakh rupees worth of medical reimbursement just because I did not have a heart attack. That is why I want to have a heart attack. Once I have a heart attack – I will get 5 lakh rupees for a heart surgery and medical treatment – which is my entitlement…” the man said.
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And then – the man started shouting again:
“I want to have a heart attack – I want to have a heart attack…”
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Throughout the day – from time to time – the man would suddenly start screaming:
“I want to have a heart attack – I want to have a heart attack…”
“I want to have a heart attack – I want to have a heart attack…”
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Soon – the man became crazy.
So – they admitted him into the psychiatric ward for treatment.
Of course – since he had gone crazy and become a mental case – he would receive “medical reimbursement” for the cost of “psychiatric treatment”.
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So – at last – he had got “Pyrrhic” justice.
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He had suffered “notional loss” because he had not had a heart attack.
Now – this “notional loss” would be mitigated to some extent – because he had gone crazy and insane…!!!
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He wanted medical reimbursement for “cardiac treatment”.
Instead – he would now get medical reimbursement for “psychiatric treatment”.
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Yes – he had suffered a “notional loss” because he did not have a heart attack.
But now – since he had gone insane – he would make good at least a part of the “notional loss” he had suffered – since he would be reimbursed the cost of psychiatric treatment.
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Dear Reader:
Look back on your life and tell us:
Have you “suffered” such “notional losses” – because you did not fully avail of all the perks, benefits and facilities you were entitled to…?
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PS:
Let us end this story on a lighter note.
I know a Military Veteran who was a strict Teetotaller – he never drank alcohol in his entire life.
He told me that he had suffered great “notional loss” – because – he had never availed of the monthly Concessional CSD “Liquor Quota” during his entire Military Career of 35 years – and even now – after retirement – he continues to suffer “notional loss” since he does not draw his concessional monthly “Liquor Quota”.
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VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
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Disclaimer:
- This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
- This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/04/concept-of-notional-loss-story-of-man.html
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Revised Version on my story written be me long back in 1980s and posted online by me earlier at urls: http://creative.sulekha.com/heart-attack_74770_blog and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/11/notional-loss.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/12/do-you-want-to-have-heart-attack-humor.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/08/the-man-who-wanted-to-have-heart-attack.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/notional-loss-story.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/06/13/how-to-suffer-notional-loss/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/11/01/the-man-who-wanted-to-have-a-heart-attack/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/10/05/the-man-who-wanted-to-have-a-heart-attack-2/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/12/19/what-is-notional-loss-a-story/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/05/13/are-you-suffering-notional-loss/ etc
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.
Vikram Karve 