Archive for May 10th, 2024

Do You Resent “Successful” People…?

May 10, 2024

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“TALL POPPY SYNDROME”

Do You Resent “Successful” People…?

Blog by Veteran Vikram Karve

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SOCIAL MEDIA “BASHING”

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Nowadays — we see plenty of “bashing” on the Social Media — especially of “the rich and famous”, celebrities, politicians, and successful people.

We also see Social Media “bashing” of Top Brass and Veterans by fellow Veterans.

Some of this social media bashing may be due to the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

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“TALL POPPY SYNDROME”

Musings by Veteran Vikram Karve

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Are You a Victim of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”…?

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In the inimitable war novel Catch-22 — there is a character called “Major Major Major Major”

(For brevity — let’s call him “Major Major”)

“Major Major” is a simple amiable officer who is liked by everyone — officers and enlisted men.

One day — the Squadron Commander Major Duluth is killed in action — and — “Major Major” is appointed the Squadron Commander.

Suddenly — everything changes for “Major Major”.

The very same people who earlier loved “Major Major” — now — their attitude towards “Major Major” changes drastically — and — everyone starts resenting his success

Many of his fellow officers have feelings of envy and animosity towards “Major Major” once he is promoted to Squadron Commander.

The most acrimonious and spiteful of them is Captain Black — who believes that he himself was the logical choice to replace Major Duluth as Squadron Commander — and — grave injustice has been done by appointing “Major Major” as Squadron Commander.

Captain Black makes every effort to discredit and disparage “Major Major”

Captain Black uses various stratagems to sabotage and humiliate “Major Major” — and — cut him down to size.

This is an example of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

Thanks to his “success” — “Major Major” is a victim of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” — which results in hostility towards successful people.

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TALL POPPY SYNDROME

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The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is a culture where “successful” people are resented, attacked, cut down or criticized because of their success.

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Successful People are called “Tall Poppies”.

And — cutting them down to size is called “Tall Poppying”.

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In an organization — the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” can cause in destructive feelings in the colleagues of the successful person — which can lead to resentment, hostility — and “envy attacks” on the “successful” person.

In the Defence Services — some “passed over” (superseded) officers feel a sense of resentment towards those successful officers who have been promoted — and sometimes — this resentment can metamorphose into “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

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(hostility towards successful persons)

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The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is visible in personal relationships too — in families, friend-circles and in society — where we often see a tendency to resent and disparage successful people due to envy.

Yes — you observe the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” everywhere — at work, in society and in personal relationships — at the macro and micro levels.

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In a nutshell:

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The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is hostility towards successful people — and manifestations of that resentment.

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Let us see how this term originated.

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HOW DID THE TERM “TALL POPPY SYNDROME” ORIGINATE…?

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There are many mythical stories about the origins of the term “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

In one such apocryphal story — a young son of a King conquers a new land.

The young son asks the King for advice on how to deal with the newly conquered kingdom.

The King — who is strolling in the garden in a grove of poppies — draws his sword — and — with his sword — the King strikes off the heads of the tallest poppies in the grove.

The King’s son gets the message — and he methodically proceeds to kill all the prominent men (the “tallest poppies”) in the newly conquered land.

Once the influential men are eliminated — the son is able to easily govern the conquered land.

The term “Tall Poppy Syndrome” may have been probably derived from this apocryphal story.

Another fable hints that the underlying premise of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” is that the tallest plants be cut down to the same size of all the others (cutting down to size)

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So — in today’s world:

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“Tall Poppying” successful persons means — trying to “cut them down to size”.

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Don’t we see examples of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” all around us…?

I saw plenty of instances of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” in the Defence Services — where career prospects are limited due to the pyramidal hierarchy structure — and — it is very difficult to get promoted to high rank — which results in a large number of deserving officers getting “superseded” or “passed over” for promotion.

Many “superseded” officers feel a sense of resentment and envy towards their successful course-mates and erstwhile juniors — and they try to “Tall Poppy” them.

You will see plenty of examples of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” everywhere — in politics, in the corporate sector, in society, in families and personal life too.

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The “Tall Poppy Syndrome” manifests at the societal level too.

One example is the cultural resentment against “migrants” who are more “successful” than the original inhabitants of a country.

Information Technology has been a catalyst in proliferation of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”.

Nowadays — the Social Media has become a ubiquitous medium for “Tall Poppying”

People can easily express their resentment against “successful” persons on the Social Media — by Trolling and “Bashing” them on the Social Media in a malicious manner.

And — such vicious online “Tall Poppying” (Trolling and “Bashing”) of an individual on the Social Media can go “viral” very fast — and have a devastating effect on the victim of “Tall Poppying”.

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ROOT CAUSE OF “TALL POPPY SYNDROME”

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What is the root cause of the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”…?

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Is the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” a manifestation of the “Crab Mentality” …?

If I cannot have something — neither can you have it…!!!

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Or — is it an offshoot of “The Dog in the Manger” Syndrome …?

People frequently begrudge something to others — that they themselves cannot enjoy.

Even if it does them no good — they won’t let others have it.

This mentality is like the mythical dog in fable — the Dog in the Manger — who did not eat the grain — but — who nevertheless prevented the horse from eating the grain either…

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Or — is it just basic human nature…?

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Well — I really don’t know — but — I have been on both sides of the fence as far as the “Tall Poppy Syndrome” syndrome is concerned.

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Dear Reader:

Have you experienced the“Tall Poppy Syndrome”…?

Did you experience it — as a “victim” — or — indulge in it — as a “perpetrator”…?

Do you feel a sense of resentment against successful people…?

If you are a successful person — do you feel others are hostile towards you…?

Have you observed the “Tall Poppy Syndrome”– at work, in society and in your personal life…?

Do tell us about it.

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/03/are-you-victim-of-tall-poppy-syndrome.html and in my writing blog at url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/07/27/success-tall-poppy-syndrome/

Repost of My Article Written By me in 04 Feb 2017 and Posted on My Various Blogs.

Links to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/tall-poppy-syndrome.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/02/04/immigration-tall-poppy-syndrome/ and https://www.quora.com/profile/Vikram-Karve/Writing-by-VIKRAM-KARVE/Human-Behavior-Psychology-%E2%80%93-Tall-Poppy-Syndrome and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/07/15/tall-poppy-syndrome-cutting-successful-people-down-to-size/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/07/27/success-tall-poppy-syndrome/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/02/17/tall-poppy-syndrome/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/07/04/tall-poppy-syndrome-and-social-media-bashing/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/09/20/do-you-resent-successful-people/ and https://vikramkarve.medium.com/tall-poppy-syndrome-do-you-resent-successful-people-1be5d5acadcb etc

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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How to be in a Good Mood

May 10, 2024

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HOW TO “SWING” YOUR MOOD

Self-Help Tips for “Moody” Persons Like Me

Blog by Veteran Vikram Karve

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HOW TO “SWING” YOUR MOOD

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Are you a moody person…?

Do you have “mood swings”…?

Do you want to be always in a “good mood”…?

I constantly try to be in a “good mood”.

Whenever I am in a bad mood — I try to swing my mood to a good mood.

The trick is to use your thoughts to drive your feelings and swing your moods.

It is easier said that done — but I keep trying my best.

Let me share my Self Help for Moody Persons “Mantra” with you.

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HOW TO BE IN A GOOD “MOOD”

Musings By Vikram Karve

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I am a “moody” person.

That is my nature.

Since I am a “moody person” — I have “mood swings”.

Owing to my “mood swings” — I am prone to negative emotions like anger and depression — and worse — I wear my emotions on my sleeve — so everyone can see my “mood”.

Hence — whenever I start feeling depressed, angry or experience negative emotions — I try to “swing” my mood to the positive side.

Mostly I succeed — but — on a few occasions — I am not so successful in “swinging” my mood totally — but then — I try my best to get into a “good mood”.

Before I “pontificate” on how to “swing” your mood — let me tell you a bit about the “Emotion — Mood — Temperament” continuum — and why it is important for you to remain in a “good mood”.

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The “EMOTION” — “MOOD” — “TEMPERAMENT” Continuum

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EMOTION is a response to a “stimulus” (or situation).

This “stimulus” can be either external (outside you) or internal (inside you).

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MOOD is a long duration feeling as compared to emotion.

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Emotions come and go — but Mood persists.

Emotion remains as long as the trigger (stimulus) remains.

But Mood remains for some time — even after the stimulus goes away.

And — sometimes — mood may not need a specific stimulus.

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TEMPERAMENT

When Mood persists for a long period it becomes Temperament.

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“Temperament” is “Long Term Mood”

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Emotion comes First whenever you are in Danger — leading to impulsive action to save you from that danger

(fight or flight response)

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Otherwise — normally:

Thought comes First — and then — Emotion Follows.

That is the desired rational way.

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THOUGHT MANAGEMENT IS THE KEY

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It is desirable that Thought precedes Emotion.

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If you can manage your THOUGHTS — you can manage your EMOTIONS — and consequently — you will be able to manage your MOOD and TEMPERAMENT.

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Hence — if you can control your thoughts — you can manage your moods.

This may be easy for you — but for a “moody” person like me — this is easier said than done.

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DO FEELINGS DRIVE YOUR THOUGHTS…?

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Thoughts play a very important role in your life — whereas your feelings can make or break you — and also affect the lives of others around you.

Very often:

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We let our Attitudes or Feelings hold sway over our lives — rather than let our Thoughts govern our lives.

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Hence — your Feelings (Emotions) control your thoughts (and your life).

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NEVER LET YOUR FEELINGS DRIVE YOUR THOUGHTS

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You let your Feelings drive your Thoughts.

You do not realize that Thoughts drive Actions — and — Actions produce Results.

These Results produce more Feelings.

And these Feelings — in turn — drive your Thoughts.

This leads to a “vicious circle” — which may ultimately lead to loss of self-control.

If you start off with negative feelings — this “vicious circle” will happen:

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“Feelings –> Thoughts –> Actions –> Results –> Feelings –> Thoughts –>…”

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This “vicious circle” can spiral into depression or anger.

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YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS

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Feelings are not totally controllable — especially for a “moody” person like me.

Many times — Feelings are produced by external circumstances beyond your control.

If Negative Feelings are allowed to drive your Thoughts and Actions — then Undesirable Results may emanate.

These Undesirable Results in turn produce further not-so-good Feelings — and — the vicious cycle continues.

This is true for any unpleasant or negative Feelings — like anger, envy, worry, disgust or hatred — which tend to drive our Thoughts and Actions — and quickly take charge of our lives.

An analysis of other options indicates that both Actions and Results are not suitable alternative drivers — since they also are not totally controllable — and will not always be pleasing.

The best solution is to establish “THOUGHT” as the driver — because it is controllable — and — we can get good Results.

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LET THOUGHTS DRIVE YOUR FEELINGS

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Your Thoughts are in your control.

You you can choose what you want to think about — hence you have full control on your thoughts.

Moreover — there is a matter of choice.

It is very much in our control to think good and interesting thoughts.

The happiest persons are those who thinks the most interesting and good thoughts.

The human mind cannot totally prevent poor quality thoughts from arising — but you can choose whether or not to dwell on them.

You can move your mind from dwelling on poor quality thoughts by selecting alternative beneficial or pleasant thoughts to focus on.

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Choosing to be driven by thoughts — and — then controlling those thoughts — will get you the best possible results.

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Positive thoughts lead to good performance (right actions) — which yields desirable results — which in turn produces good feelings.

Good feelings are conducive to better thoughts.

And — progressively — this positively reinforcing cycle facilitates a high degree of self-control — and creates an overall feeling of happiness.

When good thoughts are combined with good potential — the results can be remarkable.

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SELF-CONTROL

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Thus — the very basis of self-control is:

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1. Refuse to allow our feelings to control our responses.

2. Instead — dwell on good, pleasant, joy-producing positive thoughts.

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Develop and apply your skill to control your thoughts.

Certain NLP techniques like Swish Pattern are highly effective in achieving this.

By “Positive Thinking” you can gain mastery over controlling your thoughts and thereby letting your thoughts govern your lives.

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HOW TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD — in a Nutshell

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Try this positive reinforcing cycle to be in a good mood:

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1. “Good Thoughts” will make you “Feel Good”.

2. “Feel Good” will generate “Positive Feelings”.

3. “Positive Feelings” will make you perform “Good Actions”.

4. “Good Actions” will produce “Good Results”.

5. “Good Results” in turn will produce “Good Thoughts”.

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And — this positive reinforcing spiral will keep you in a good mood.

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That is the key to a happy and healthy life.

It works.

You can take my word for it.

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Let me end with a quote from the famous Stoic philosopher Epictetus:

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Some things are under our control — others are not.

Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle:

Some things are within our control — and some things are not.

It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule — and learned to distinguish between what you can control and you cannot control — that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.

~ Epictetus

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You must be able to distinguish between things you can control and things you cannot control.

Remember:

1. Thinking “interesting thoughts” is fully within your control.

2. On the other hand — your feelings may be dependent on things beyond your control.

This is the mantra for self-control of your mood.

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DON’T LET YOUR FEELINGS DRIVE YOUR THOUGHTS

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Hence — don’t let your feelings drive your thoughts.

But — take control of your thoughts and try to ensure that your thoughts drive your feelings.

And — you can “swing” your mood by thinking happy interesting thoughts.

You can experiment on this technique of of using thoughts to create positive moods:

1. Happy Thoughts will put you in a “feel good” mood.

2. Interesting Thoughts will put you in a “creative mood”.

3. Inspiring Thoughts will put you in an “optimistic mood”.

4. Romantic Thoughts will put you in a “romantic mood”.

5. Erotic Thoughts will put you in a “amorous mood”.

etc. etc. etc.

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Let your imagination run wild to create good moods.

The moment you start feeling any negative emotion — don’t let your feelings take charge of your mind and spoil your mood.

Instead — immediately start thinking good thoughts and swing your mood to a happy and positive one.

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I did this quite effectively during my Navy days.

Whenever my boss started shouting at me — I used to “switch off” and stop paying attention to what he was saying — and start thinking interesting thoughts — romantic, erotic, food thoughts etc. — and keep myself in a good mood despite the hollering of my boss.

Those days — I used to call it “overhead transmission”.

Since my mind was absorbed in lovely thoughts — whatever bullshit my boss was saying did not enter my mind — but would fly away above my head (overhead transmission).

Sometimes — my “interesting” thoughts would bring a smile on my face

(since I ensured that my thoughts controlled my emotions and feelings)

On seeing me smiling and in a happy mood — despite his angry hollering — my boss would get even more livid — and he would start yelling at me even more furiously — and in the end — it was my boss who would be in a bad mood — whereas — I remained in a good mood.

Once — during my Naval Dockyard Days — the Admiral Superintendent (ASD) told me that my boss (a Commodore) — my boss was complaining to the Admiral that working with me was giving him high Blood Pressure (High BP)

I jokingly said to the Admiral:

“Sir — isn’t it better that he gets High BP rather than me…?”

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PS:

Dear Reader — I had served with the Admiral when he was a Commander and I was a young officer.

The Admiral knew me very well (and my independent style of working).

The wise Admiral kept me in the same job — despite repeated pleas by my boss to have me moved out.

Maybe — the Admiral was enjoying seeing my boss going crazy.

Or — maybe — he was trying to convey a lesson indirectly to my boss that “micro-managing” did not work in the Naval Dockyard — and Managers must be left “index” (independent) to do their jobs.

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Cheers — Dear Reader.

Be Happy.

Do keep your emotions in check by thinking interesting thoughts.

I wish that you always be in a good mood — and may you have a happy, optimistic and calm temperament.

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Remember — your “mood” is in your “mind”.

If you learn to control your thoughts — you can gain mastery over your moods.

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. These are my personal views. Please do your own due diligence while selecting a philosophy of life.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
  3. E&OE

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2016/12/how-to-swing-your-moods.html

Revised Version of my Article LET THOUGHTS DRIVE YOUR FEELINGS written by me around 33 years ago in early 1990 and Posted Online Earlier by me Vikram Karve in my blog at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2009/06/monday-morning-meditation.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/types-of-human-feelings-emotion-mood.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/09/feel-good-by-positive-thinking-key-to.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/10/self-help-mantra-for-moody-persons.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/mood-swings-how-to-control-your-mood.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/11/14/how-to-be-in-a-good-mood/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/08/29/how-to-swing-your-mood/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2021/09/21/mantra-for-moody-persons/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2022/01/29/self-help-for-moody-persons/ and https://vikramkarve.medium.com/mood-swinging-18229eea254a etc

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

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