Mental Healthcare – Military Style

A discussion on Stress, PTSD, Depression, Psychological and Mental Health issues in the Military reminded me of a spoof I had written many years ago in my series of stories on Military Medicine on MENTAL HEALTHCARE – MILITARY STYLE.

Dear Reader:

I am posting the spoof once more for your perusal and comments.

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MENTAL HEALTHCARE – MILITARY STYLE

Musings of a Veteran by Vikram Karve

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DEPRESSION

During my days in the Navy – there was no concept of “depression”.

You were either “sane” – or – you were “insane”.

It was all “black-and-white” – no grey area.

There was nothing “in-between” sanity and insanity.

You were either “normal” – or you were “crazy”.

And – if they thought that you were “crazy” – they branded you a “psycho”.

Then – they sent you to the psychiatric ward – to be dealt with by the Military Psychiatrists (called “Shrinks” in Navy Parlance).

Recently I read an interesting discussion on Social Media regarding Lifestyle Diseases suffered by Military Personnel (including Mental Issues, Depression, PTSD etc)

This reminded of a fictional spoof which I wrote sometime ago – on Mental Health Care – titled – “How to Cure Depression” (Military Style).

Dear Reader:

Here is the “Humor in Uniform” spoof – for you to read, have a laugh and ponder over…

Before you start reading – let me remind you that this is a humorous spoof – tongue-in-cheek satire – “Humor in Uniform” – pure fiction – just for fun and humor – no offence is meant to anyone – so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

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HUMOR IN MILITARY MEDICINE SERIES – PART 7

MENTAL HEALTHCARE – MILITARY STYLE

Continued from Part 6 – Medical Category url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/09/19/humor-in-military-medicine-part-6-medical-category/

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HOW TO CURE DEPRESSION – MILITARY STYLE

Nowadays – I am surprised to see counselling and therapy being practised in a big way.

When I was in school – around 55 years ago – in the 1960’s – I don’t remember having any Counsellors in my schools.

Later – Schools had Vocational or Guidance Counsellors – who tested aptitude and advised students on selection of educational-streams/courses/career-choice which were in harmony with their aptitude.

Now – I understand – that apart from Vocational Guidance Counsellors – some schools even have Psychological Counsellors.

I heard that even youngsters go for “therapy” to counsellors for various problems – the main problem being “Depression”

I do not know whether I have ever suffered from “depression”.

In fact – I don’t even know what “depression” exactly is.

Yes – I feel “sad” and “low” at times.

Yes – I am a “moody” person – and – I have mood swings.

Is it “depression”…?

Am I “depressed”…?

I really don’t know.

Maybe – “Ignorance is Bliss”.

In boarding school – in college – and – later in the Navy (where I spent my entire career):

There was no concept of “depression”.

You were either “sane” – or – you were “insane”.

It was all black-and-white – no grey area.

There was nothing “in-between” sanity and insanity.

You were either “normal” – or you were “crazy”.

And – if they thought that you were “crazy” – they branded you a “psycho”.

And – and they sent you to the psychiatric ward – to be dealt with by the Military Psychiatrists 

(Psychiatrists were called “Shrinks” in Navy Parlance)

Yes – in Navy Jargon of yesteryear – jocularly – all Doctors were called “Quacks” – and – all Psychiatrists were called “Shrinks”.

Those days – in the Navy (Military) – since “depression” was not recognised as a malady – it seems that there was no concept of psychological counselling or therapy.

Well – at least I did not see any psychologists, counsellors or therapists in uniform.

So – how was depression “cured” or “managed” in the Military…?

Read on…

But – before you read on – please read the “disclaimer” below once more:

Disclaimer: This is a humorous spoof – tongue-in-cheek satire – “Humor in Uniform” – pure fiction – just for fun and humor – no offence is meant to anyone – so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

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Humor in Uniform

DEPRESSION “MANAGEMENT” – MILITARY STYLE

A Fictional Spoof By Vikram Karve

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NB: The generic terms “Fauji” and “Soldier” refer to all Military Personnel (Officers/Soldiers/Sailors/Airmen) – and – the term “Faujan” refers to all Military Wives.

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Sometime ago – I attended a Literary Festival in Pune.

There was a session on “Stereotypes” in Fiction.

The panelists decried the tendency to stereotype characters – especially in romantic fiction.

Among the panelists was an Army Wife (“Faujan”) – an accomplished author – who has written a successful novel on the Life of an Army Wife.

I candidly told her that – in her novel – she too had “stereotyped” her Army Officer “Hero”:

“Quintessential” Army Officer = “Tough Macho Man” + “Debonair Gentleman” + “Ideal Boyfriend” + “Super Husband” + “Perfect Father” …et al…

She agreed with me – that – at least in Indian Literature – most novels/movies with a military backdrop have a tendency to “stereotype” the Military Officer as the “ultimate impeccable superman” with all the perfect qualities.

Most Military Literature, Movies and Jingoistic Military Recruitment Advertisements reinforce such “stereotypes” of Army, Navy and Air Force Officers.

I have come across a few “Military Wife” Blogs (written by “Faujans”) – where – I have observed a tendency to stereotype the “Military Wife” – and – believe it or not – they have even stereotyped the “Military Girlfriend”.

Yes – there is a tendency to stereotype “Military Wives” too.

If you have served in military uniform – or – if you are married to a person who has served in uniform – you will know that Military Officers and Military Wives (“Faujis” and “Faujans”) are like most normal human beings.

Thanks to this stereotyping of the “Military Officer/Soldier” (“Fauji”) – there is a perception that “Faujis” are so physically robust and mentally tough – that it is not possible for “Faujis” to suffer from an “effeminate frailty” like “depression”.

The quintessential Military “Fauji” is supposed to be a “Tough Guy”.

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So:

A Military “Fauji” is expected to be at one of the two “macho” extremes:

1. Either he is supposed to be macho “compos mentis”.

or

2. He is supposed to go macho “berserk” – and run amok.

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In the military – there is no scope for “middle-of-the-road” sensitive fragilities like “depression”.

Things may be different now – but in the “good old days” – Mental Health was a simple “Black” and “White” matter:

Either – you were “sane”

Or – you were “insane”

There was nothing in between the two extremes.

Being “sensitive” or “emotional” was considered “un-militarily-like”.

There was no place for a “sentimental sissy” in the Military.

Such “mushy” traits were considered as a sign of effeminate weakness and indicated lack of OLQ (Officer Like Qualities).

The Military Motto was:

“Stop crying like a Woman…

You must take it like a Man…”

If you had an “emotional problem” – you had to “sort out” your own problem.

Or – you had to bear it with stoicism.

If you could not “sort out” your emotional problem – and – you were forced to endure your emotional problem with stoicism – two things could happen:

1. The emotional problem cured itself – and – in due course of time – you became okay.

or

2. The emotional problem worsened and metamorphosed into a psychiatric disorder – in which case – you were declared a “psycho”– and – sent to the psychiatrist.

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Things may have changed now – but – in the “good old days” – there was no concept of psychological counselling to alleviate emotional problems faced by “Faujis”.

In the earlier system of relying exclusively on psychiatric treatment – Military Officers/Soldiers were afraid to officially report their “emotional problems” to their superior officers – because – it would be presumed that they were suffering from “psychiatric disorders” – and – they would be sent to military hospitals for psychiatric treatment.

Once Officers/Soldiers were referred for psychiatric treatment – their medical category would be downgraded – and – thereafter – for the rest of their life in the service – they would suffer the stigma of being branded as “psycho” – and – their military careers would be ruined forever.

As it is – in those days – Military Officers/Soldiers were apprehensive of going to “specialist” doctors – since they wanted to avoid down-gradation of their “medical category” – which could affect their career prospects.

But – “Faujis” were most terrified of being referred to Psychiatrists – because – not only would your “medical category” be down-graded – but – you would be branded a “psycho” for your entire military career.

Hence – Officers/Soldiers suppressed their emotional distress.

Emotionally “depressed” Officers/Soldiers tried to “sort out” their emotional problem with “self-cure” – by adopting philosophical and spiritual self-help techniques like “positive thinking”, “meditation”, “prayer” etc.

Or – “Faujis” resorted to the Universal “Panacea” for all ills – Alcohol – which was provided at concessional rates to “Faujis”

Yes – Dear Reader:

Alcohol was considered as the macho “remedy” for “depression cure”.

“Self-Cure” or “Alcohol Cure” may have worked in some cases of “depression”.

But – if the emotionally distressed individual could not cure himself – this could ultimately result in serious ramifications like mental illness – or – even suicide – in extreme cases.

Sometime ago – in August 2017 to be precise – I read a news report that  310 Army Personnel had committed Suicide since 2014  – and there were 11 cases of Fratricide.

From time to time – there are news reports regarding the severe stress suffered by Military Personnel – like this recent report – Over Half of Army Personnel under Severe Stress.

Doesn’t this highlight the urgent need for psychological counselling/therapy facilities in the Armed Forces…?

During my Navy days – I do not recall any psychologists posted as counsellors on board Naval Ships – with whom officers/sailors could talk regarding their emotional problems.

The only “counsellors” available were your friends, your family – or – your superior officers – like it happened to the officer in the story below – titled “Depression Management”

Here is a story of how a “depressed” officer was “counselled” by his superior officer…

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DEPRESSION MANAGEMENT (an apocryphal story)

During my early Navy days – around 45 years ago – in the 1970’s – we had a Senior Lieutenant on our ship – a frontline warship – a  Whitby Class Frigate

(Those days you remained a Lieutenant till you completed 11 years of commissioned service when you were promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Commander)

This Senior Lieutenant had over 9 years commissioned service.

He had coined a maxim – which epitomized “Depression Management” in the Navy:

“EVERY “PROBLEM” IS A “MINOR PROBLEM”…”

and

“A “MINOR PROBLEM” IS “NO PROBLEM”…”

therefore

“EVERY “PROBLEM” is “NO PROBLEM”…”

I will repeat this Depression Management Maxim again:

Every problem is a minor problem – a minor problem is no problem – so – every problem is no problem…

Therefore – by this maxim – a Naval Officer or Sailor was not supposed to have a problem – especially – a personal problem.

But – was this possible…?

Here is the story of an Officer who had a problem…

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STORY OF THE “DEPRESSED” OFFICER

A young Navy Sub Lieutenant felt depressed.

So – the young Sub Lieutenant went to this same Senior Lieutenant (who was his direct boss) and said:

“Sir – I have a personal problem…”

The Senior Lieutenant promptly enunciated his favourite slogan:

“Every Problem is a “Minor Problem” – and – a “Minor Problem” is “No Problem” – so – you have “No Problem”…”

Then – the Senior Lieutenant scolded the Sub Lieutenant.

The Senior Lieutenant told the depressed Sub Lieutenant to stop behaving like a sissy.

The Senior Lieutenant said to the Sub Lieutenant:

“In the Navy – you sort out your own problems – you don’t go crying like a bloody Sissy to your Boss regarding your personal problems…”

After that – the Senior Lieutenant shouted at the Sub Lieutenant to “get lost” – to “vamoose” – to “bugger off” – and – the Senior Lieutenant rudely ordered the Sub Lieutenant to get on with his work.

In the evening – the distraught Sub Lieutenant tried to unburden himself by talking about his personal problem to his shipmates in the wardroom.

(A Naval Officers’ Mess is called  Wardroom  – both afloat on warships and ashore on  stone frigates).

The depressed Sub Lieutenant told his “sob story” to his shipmates over a drink.

It was a simple “affair of the heart”.

The Officer had fallen in Love with a Girl from a Wealthy Business Family.

The girl’s parents were not interested in marrying their only daughter to a “penurious” Navy Officer.

In fact – the girl was the “only child” of her parents – and – she was the heir to their “business empire”

So – the parents had arranged a suitable “business match” for her daughter befitting their affluence and “status”

Of course – the “business marriage” of their daughter to the son of a business tycoon would help expand their “business empire” as well.

And – though the girl loved the Navy Officer – the girl did not have the courage to go against her parents’ wishes.

The depressed officer’s well-meaning shipmates “counselled” him over a drink in the Wardroom.

They advised him various courses of action to cure his depression.

Some suggestions given to the Sub Lieutenant were:

1. “Forget about her – just get another girl. If you want – I will introduce you to a sexy  “fleet auxiliary”  who is available at the moment…”

2. “Come on – drink up – forget her – and – by tomorrow – you will be fine. Alcohol cures everything…”

3. “Why are you crying like a bloody sissy…? You are a tough Naval Officer. Just go and sort out the matter yourself – just go there – pick up your girl – elope with her – and – get married…” 

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Now – the depressed officer was deeply in love with the girl.

It was not possible for him to forget her.

Also – the distraught officer was in no mood to have a “lustful affair” with a “fleet auxiliary”.

So – the officer considered the third option:

Elope with the girl – and – get married.

In order to get himself ready for this third option – the “depressed officer” drank up – glass after glass of whisky – till – he was drunk to the hilt.

Then – fortified with alcohol-induced “Dutch Courage” – he drove down on his motorcycle to the girl’s house to “sort out the matter” – to elope with his girlfriend and get married to her.

Well – the officer may have been emotionally vulnerable – but – physically – he was a huge powerful hulk – and – in his wild drunken state – he looked very intimidating.

You can well imagine what must have happened – when the fearsome formidable “angry young man” – dangerously drunk and berserk – ran amok in a menacing manner.

He accosted the girl’s parents – and – he tried to forcibly abduct the girl and elope with her.

It was with great difficulty that they managed to overpower him with the help of the police – who handed him over to the Naval Police.

Well – in order to save him from big trouble – the easiest thing for the “powers-that-be” to do – was to fill up a psychiatric disorder form  AFMSF-10  – and – refer the “depressed officer” for “psychiatric examination”. 

(notwithstanding the fact that he would be branded a “psycho” for life and his Naval career would be ruined)

So – thanks to the “Depression Management” dictum of the Senior Lieutenant – and the amateur Navy Style “counselling” by his shipmates – the “depressed officer” landed up in the psychiatric ward – branded a “psycho” for life – his Naval career ruined.

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EPILOGUE 

“Compassionate Psychological Counselling”  versus  “Harsh Psychiatric Treatment”

Well – you may think that this illustrative fictional story of an “affair of the heart” is a tall story – a yarn.

But – the fact of the matter is – that – especially in today’s world – Military Men (and even Military Wives) – “Faujis” and “Faujans” – they need “emotional sustenance” – to face the multitude of problems peculiar to the Armed Forces – especially pertaining to Soldiers deployed in combat situations and their families.

And – for this “emotional sustenance” – isn’t “compassionate psychological counselling” a better option than “harsh psychiatric treatment”…?

Isn’t prevention better than cure…?

Military Hospitals have “Military Psychiatrists” to “cure” those who have gone “crazy”.

But – what about “preventing” individuals from going “crazy”…?

In today’s modern times – I wonder if Military Units and Naval Ships have easily accessible “Military Psychologists” to counsel military personnel on issues like Stress, PTSD, Depression, Psychological and Mental Health issues – to prevent individuals from going “crazy”, being branded as “psychos” and sent to military hospitals for psychiatric treatment…?

Dear Reader – Isn’t prevention better than cure…? 

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VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my source post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/10/mental-health-care-military-style-humor.html

This article is an abridged version of my article DEPRESSION MANAGEMENT aka PSYCHO posted by me online many times in my various blogs including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/09/humor-in-uniform-depression-management.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/humor-in-uniform-how-to-cure-depression/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/09/16/military-psychology-for-emotional-sustenance-and-depression-management/ and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/02/how-to-manage-mental-health-care.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/05/how-to-cure-depression-military-style.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/07/08/humor-in-uniform-psycho/ and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/06/14/story-of-the-depressed-sub-lieutenant/ etc

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

A Wet Dream

A WET DREAM
It Happened One Night 
Short Fiction – A Passionate Love Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE

From my Creative Writing Archives:

One of my earliest pieces of short fiction. 

A very short adult love story I wrote 30 years ago, in the 1990’s. 

This story is for adults only. 

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IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT – A WET DREAM 

The terrifying nightmare grew.

It was just one revolving pattern of flames with inhuman sounds screaming at him from all sides.

He tried to use his limbs – but nothing happened.

He looked down at his legs – and he saw that the left one was hanging like a piece of bloody sack.

He felt the searing crash of metal into his body.

And then – he heard himself screaming in frenzy – as the blaze engulfed him – and pulverized his entire body.

There was another voice now – a different voice.

He sat up violently in the pitch darkness – fighting the blanket.

As he recovered his wits – he realized that the door was partly open.

He could see a pale figure in the light from the corridor.

“Are you okay…?” she asked.

He did not say anything.

She entered the room – she walked towards him – and she said:

“I’m sorry – but you were screaming.”

Trying to steady his breathing – he said to her:

“Bit of a bad dream – that’s all.”

She sat down on the bed – and she said to him:

“I was shaken scared by your terrifying scream. It must have been a terrible dream.”

“Yes…” he said – and he ran his hand over his wet face.

She reached out – she touched his shoulder – and she said to him:

“Lie back now. Try to relax. I will go now – and let you sleep.”

He looked up at her and pleaded:

“Don’t go. Please don’t go…”

He took her hand – and he pressed her palm gently.

At first – there was no answering pressure.

Then – she pressed back.

She touched his hair with her other hand.

He could feel the want churning inside him like fire.

He moved his hand and touched her skin.

“No…” she said quietly, “We’d better stop now.”

He pulled her gently beside him – feeling the yearning like a physical pain.

She did not resist.

Then all at once – she was helping him.

They made love.

They made love – first with tenderness – then gradually building up into a passionate frenzy – as they both become rough and hard – demanding more of each other – till they lay exhausted – their limbs still entangled.

He lay in bed in self-commiseration – wondering why it had happened.

His train of thoughts spiralled into an abyss – as he thought about his agonizing loneliness – his frightening, corrosive, desolate life – the terrifying nightmare – the frenzied act.

Was it an impulsive reckless act of love…?

Or – was it wild rage…?

Or – was it a desperate act of expiration…?

Or – was it a wet dream…?

The whole thing suddenly seemed sordid.

He turned towards her – and he started to say:

“I am sorry…”

She instantly put her hand on his mouth – and she said to him:

“Please don’t say it. What happened – it just happened. It was destined to happen…”

He closed his eyes and lay still.

When he opened his eyes – he saw her standing near the door.

“It was good of you to come…” he said.

“Yes…” she said.

She quietly stepped out of the room – she closed the door – and – she walked out of his life forever.

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VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:  https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/05/wet-dream.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Abridged, Updated and Revised Version of My Story THE NIGHTMARE posted by me Vikram Karve online earlier a number of times in my various Blogs including at urls: http://vikramwamankarve.blogspot.in/2009/09/nightmare-flash-fiction-horror-story.html and https://vikramwkarve.wordpress.com/2010/04/13/one-night-stand-it-just-happened/  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/01/frenzy.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/bad-dream.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/love-dream.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/08/31/wet-dream-it-happened-one-night/ etc

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Divorce and Children – A Game of Badminton

BADMINTON

A Small Boy Narrates his Life Story

Short Fiction By Vikram Karve

Badminton is a Game where you Volley a Shuttlecock back and forth over a Net…

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BADMINTON

A Story By Vikram Karve

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Part 1 – DIVORCE

BADMINTON SINGLES

My life is like a game of badminton.

I am the shuttlecock – and my mother and my father are the two opposing players.

Let me explain.

My parents are getting divorced.

Now – both my parents are highly qualified MBAs.

They have very meticulously divided their assets.

And – they have very painstakingly shared their liabilities.

Except me.

They don’t know how to divide me.

So – they are fighting a custody battle for me in court.

Yes – my parents are battling it out in court for my custody.

And – till they finally decide this way or the other – I am being tossed from one parent to the other – like a shuttlecock is tossed from one player to the opponent in a game of badminton.

From Monday to Thursday – after school is over – I take the Aundh Bus to stay at my mother’s place.

On Friday – I take the Kondhwa Bus to spend the weekend with my father.

On Sunday evening my father has to drop me off at my mother’s place before 6 o’clock.

And – if we are late even by one minute – my mother raises a hue and cry against my father – and she complains to the family court.

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After Two Years

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Part 2 – REMARRIAGE

BADMINTON MIXED DOUBLES

My life is still like a game of badminton.

But now – after two years – there is a slight difference.

Now – instead of Badminton Singles – it is a game of Badminton “Mixed Doubles”.

Let me explain.

On one side of the badminton court – are my REAL FATHER and my STEP-MOTHER.

And – across the net – on the other side of the badminton court – are my REAL MOTHER and my STEP-FATHER.

And – I am still the “shuttlecock” – being tossed from one side of the badminton court to the other side of the badminton court – back and forth.

However – there is also a big difference.

Earlier – when they used to play “badminton singles” – the rallies were short and sweet – the volleys were gentle – and – each player wanted the “shuttlecock” to fall on their own side of the court.

Now – in “badminton mixed doubles” – the rallies are long and painful – the smashes are hard – and – the players – especially the new players – they want the “shuttlecock” to fall on the other side of the court – across the net.

Do you want me to explain…?

I don’t think I need to.

I am sure you have got the drift of what I am trying to say.

Now – you tell me one thing:

Am I an “asset” to be divided…?

Or – am I a “liability” to be shared…?

And then – a terrible thought comes to my mind – of a third option.

And – I feel afraid of one thing.

In an actual game of badminton – the shuttlecock may get worn out.

If this happens – the badminton players toss the shuttlecock out of the court – yes – the players throw away the old shuttlecock – and they get a new one.

Oh my God…!!!

Will this happen to me…?

Once they have their own children – what will happen to me…?

Will I become like an “old shuttlecock” – to be discarded – and to be replaced by a “new shuttlecock”…?

Yes – once they get rid of the “old shuttlecock” – maybe the “mixed doubles partners” will stop playing “mixed doubles” with the “old shuttlecock”.

Now – the new partners may start playing “badminton singles” with each other with their own “new shuttlecocks”.

Soon – both couples – my REAL MOTHER and my STEPFATHER – and – my REAL FATHER and my STEPMOTHER – they will have their very own children.

And then – they may abandon me forever.

Yes – I am really scared that I will be abandoned forever.

I will no longer be an “asset” to be divided.

I will no longer be a “liability” to be shared.

But – I will become a “bad debt” to be written-off from the balance sheets of my biological parents’ lives.

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Food for Thought

Part 3

CHILDREN OF DIVORCED PARENTS – ASSETS, LIABILITIES or BAD DEBTS…?

Please answer the small boy’s question – and solve his predicament.

Once parents get divorced – and then – they remarry someone else:

1. Are children of their first marriages “ASSETS” to be divided…?

2. Are children of their first Marriages “LIABILITIES” to be shared…?

3. Or – Are children of first marriages “BAD DEBTS” to be written-off from the balance sheet of each parent’s life…?

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Dear Reader – please comment – and do let us know your views…

________

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/are-children-of-divorced-parents-assets.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a revised version of my story BADMINTON which was Written by me Vikram Karve 10 Years ago in May 2011 and First Posted Online by me Vikram Karve in my blog at 5/30/2011 03:45:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/05/badminton.htmland susequently revised and re-posted online a number of times including at urls:http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/12/badminton-my-favourite-short-stories.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/04/marriage-divorce-remarriage-and-game-of.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/11/blog-fiction-badminton.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/12/badminton-story.html andhttp://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/children-of-divorced-parents-assets.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2020/06/15/badminton-2/ etc

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Officer Like Qualities (OLQ) – Four Types of Officers – Von Manstein Matrix

OFFICER LIKE QUALITIES (OLQ)

FOUR TYPES OF OFFICERS

Here is an article I wrote long back (during my IAT Pune Teaching Days) – more than 28 years ago – in the 1990’s.

I am sure it is applicable even today.

Why don’t you read it and tell me…

__________

VON MANSTEIN MATRIX and OLQ (OFFICER LIKE QUALITIES)
How to Categorize Human Resources
__________

Four Types of Officers
Von Manstein Matrix
Musings by Vikram Karve

__________

Human Resources are the most precious asset of an organisation.

Hence – before we try to “manage” Human Resources – it may be prudent to classify your employees into suitable categories – based on certain attributes.

The Von Manstein Matrix is an excellent paradigm to categorize your organisation’s Human Resources – especially the Executive or Officer level employees.

__________

General Von Manstein identified Four Types of Officers in the German Officer Corps of the Army.

Though this model was postulated for the Army – I think this categorisation applies to Executive/Officer Level employees in most organisations even today.

__________

THE FOUR TYPES OF OFFICERS

__________

1. LAZY and STUPID

As per Von Manstein – the first category of officers comprises the lazy and stupid individuals.

He suggests that they be left alone as they do no harm.

Yes – by and large – the Lazy and Stupid Officers are quite Harmless.

Lazy and Stupid people rarely do much active harm.

The only harm they sometimes cause is more often based on missing opportunities and stifling the creativity of those who report to them.

Sometimes they are the unavoidable “baggage” (or “passengers”) – that you have to carry along.

You see many of this type in the Army (and Defence/Civil Services) – who are hanging around and achieving nothing much for the organization – but they are being carried along as “passengers” – which is feasible in mammoth organizations with huge inertia.

In the Army – this category comprises “passed over” officers who are “superseded” for promotion.

They have no future in the Army – but are hanging around till they reach the age of superannuation.

(Now with “No OROP for PMR” Rule – the number of such Officers is likely to increase).

Since they have no scope in civvy-street too – they may even seek re-employment in the Army – and continue to be “passengers” – who are easily absorbed and carried along by the huge manpower intensive organisation.

_________

2. HARD-WORKING and INTELLIGENT

The second category comprises the hard-working and intelligent individuals.

These are excellent staff officers – who ensure every detail is accurate.

The hardworking and intelligent officers make competent administrators and efficient line managers – who can take orders from above and deliver the desired results.

Yes – they are good at taking orders from above and delivering results.

However – such hardworking and intelligent are best kept at the mid-management level where they perform the best.

In the Army – such hardworking and intelligent officers are best suited as mid-level staff officers (upto the rank of Colonel).

_________

3. HARD-WORKING and STUPID

In the third category are the hard-working and stupid individuals.

These “hardworking idiots” are a nuisance and menace – according to Von Manstein.

They must be fired from their jobs – and removed from the organisation at once – because all they do – is to create irrelevant work for everybody.

These “hardworking idiots” force everyone around them to perform pointless tasks and are a pain in the neck for everyone around them.

In the Army – these hardworking and stupid officers are the ones you see slogging away sincerely in junior ranks wondering why they did not get promoted to high rank despite their hard work.

_________

4. LAZY and INTELLIGENT

And finally – there are the lazy and intelligent individuals.

These select few Lazy and Intelligent individuals are suited for the highest office.

Laziness stimulates creativity – because lazy people are always looking for easier, simpler, and less laborious ways to do things.

So – Lazy people always try and innovate.

And – by chance – if a lazy person is also intelligent – he or she will certainly be a fantastic and ingenious innovator.

Lazy people are natural delegators – so they find it very attractive to let their subordinates get on with their work without interference from above.

That is why Lazy and Intelligent Officers make Natural Leaders – as they focus on the essentials – and they ignore anything that might create unnecessary work – whether for themselves or other people.

It is the lazy and intelligent individuals who indeed make great strategists and leaders.

In the Army – these are the officers who become Generals and Senior Commanders.

Yes – being Lazy and Intelligent is considered the highest level of OLQ (or “Officer Like Quality”) in the Military.

_________

ESSENCE OF GENERAL VON MANSTEIN’S OFFICER MANAGEMENT STRATEGY

_________

“There are only Four types of Officers.

First – there are the lazy stupid ones.

Leave them alone, they do no harm.

Second – there are the hard-working intelligent ones.

They make excellent staff officers, ensuring that every detail is properly considered.

Third – there are the hard-working stupid ones.

These people are a menace, and must be fired at once. They create irrelevant work for everybody.

Finally – there are the intelligent lazy ones.

They are suited for the highest office…”

__________

MORAL OF THE STORY

Lazy and Intelligent Officers have the highest OLQ (Officer Like Quality).

So – if you want to rise to high rank in the Army – try to be “Lazy and Intelligent”…

___________

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

I wrote this article 28 years ago in 1991 and have posted it online a number of times including at urls: http://creative.sulekha.com/von-manstein-matrix_441822_blog and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/05/von-manstein-matrix-organization.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/10/human-resource-management-von-manstein.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/03/olq-officer-like-qualities-von-manstein.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/01/hr-management-von-manstein-matrix.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/06/hr-management-types-of-human-resources.html etc

Do you need a Bigger House…?

Sometime ago – I visited a friend who lived in an apartment flat.

There were 6 persons living in the flat – my friend, his wife, his two children, his two parents (father and mother).

While showing me his apartment flat – he commented:

“I love this house – it is such a spacious house…”

________

Then – I visited his neighbour – who I also knew.

The neighbour’s flat was identical to my friend’s flat – exactly the same size.

There were 5 persons living in that flat – the neighbour, his wife, their two children and the neighbour’s widowed mother.

The neighbour’s wife complained:

“We need a bigger house – this house is too small – just imagine – 5 people cramped in this small flat…”

___________

I was amused.

A flat of the same size – it was large enough for 6 persons – but small for 5 persons.

And – I remembered this story…

_________

Art of SPACE MANAGEMENT

A Mulla Nasrudin Story

Retold By VIKRAM KARVE

_________

One day Mulla Nasrudin’s neighbour came over to ask for some advice on how to manage his large family in his tiny little house.

“Dear Mulla Nasrudin,” he bemoaned, “my house is so small that all of us just cannot fit inside – me and my wife, my mother-in-law, three children. We are all so cramped up in our small cottage where there is hardly any space. You are a wise man – and maybe – you can find some solution to my problem so please tell me what to do…”

“I noticed that you rear chickens – how many chickens do have in your barn behind your house…?” Nasrudin asked.

“I have five chickens and a rooster…” the neighbour said.

“Take them all into the house…” Nasrudin said.

“What…?” the neighbour asked aghast, “how is it possible…? My house is already so small and overcrowded. Where is the place for the chickens…?”

“Try it – you just do what I say,” Nasrudin insisted, “And I am sure that you will come and meet me tomorrow and tell me that your problem has been solved.”

The neighbour was not convinced – but he did not dare to question the wisdom of Mulla Nasrudin – so he took the five chickens and the rooster inside the house.

The next morning he ran to Nasrudin’s house.

“You have made our problem worse – me, my wife, my mother-in-law, three kids, five chickens and a rooster – it is impossible for all of us to fit inside the small house – there is no space at all…” the neighbour lamented.

However, Mulla Nasrudin ignored his griping and asked the man:

“You have a donkey, don’t you…? I have seen a donkey tied up outside your house…”

“Yes, Nasrudin – I have one old donkey,” answered the neighbour.

“Take the donkey into your house…” Nasrudin told the man.

No matter how much the neighbour protested – Nasrudin insisted – so – the hapless neighbour did as he was told – and he took the donkey into the house.

The next morning – the neighbour ran back to meet Nasrudin – and said in total despair:

“Nasrudin – it is just not possible. The wife, the mother-in-law, the kids, the chickens, the rooster and the donkey. We had a most terrible night. There is no room even to breathe…”

“If I remember correctly – you have two lambs – don’t you…?” Nasrudin asked his neighbour.

“Oh, No – please don’t tell me to take the lambs inside the house – there will be total chaos…” the neighbour said.

“Don’t worry, my friend…” Nasrudin interrupted – and he assured the desperate neighbour, “You will thank me for solving your problem in the end. You just do as I say. Just take the lambs into your house…”

The neighbour – hoping against hope that Nasrudin’s crazy advice may miraculously work out – he took the two lambs into his packed house that night.

The next morning – the neighbour – in a totally inconsolable state – landed up at Mulla Nasrudin’s door – and pleaded in agony:

“Nasrudin – why are you torturing us – and making us suffer like this…? With the the five chickens, the rooster, the donkey and two lambs inside the house – my small house is jam-packed – teeming with bodies – and stinking with foul odour. My mother-in-law is threatening to kill me – my wife is about to leave me – and my children are furious. It is appalling, sickening, nauseating – your advice has made matters worse…”

Nasrudin patiently listened to his neighbour.

Then – Nasrudin said nonchalantly to his neighbour:

“Okay – now take all the animals and birds out of the house – chickens, rooster, donkey and lambs – all back to the garden, back to the barn, back to the shed. Throw them all out of the house to where they belong…”

So – Mulla Nasrudin’s neighbour rushed home – and he threw all the animals out of his house.

Next morning – the grateful neighbour thanked Mulla Nasrudin.

He said to Mulla Nasrudin:

“Sir, you are indeed a wise man. You solved my problem. Now – our house is so large, so roomy, and so airy – so much space for everyone – kids can play, we can sleep, everyone is happy. Thank you so much.”

Thus – Mulla Nasrudin demonstrated that SPACE is a relative concept.

The same small house had now become a large house.

___________

MORAL OF THE STORY

Dear Reader:

At first – I thought that like TIME is measured – SPACE too could be measured and quantified.

I thought that both TIME and SPACE were absolute entities.

Gradually – I learnt that TIME was highly subjective and relative – not quite absolute as I thought.

I could feel TIME passing fast when I was busy

(when working or doing something I enjoy like blogging).

I could experience TIME passing slowly when I was bored

(like waiting for someone whose train or flight is delayed).

Now – it has dawned upon me that space too is a relative concept.

Yes:

“Space” is a Relative Concept – just like “Time”.

This apocryphal Mulla Nasrudin Story explains the relative nature of space.

It also tells us the the concept of space is all in the mind.

__________

Dear Reader:

Think about this Mulla Nasrudin Story, introspect, and, of course, have a laugh.

__________

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
Vikram Karve has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my source post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/05/is-your-house-small-or-big.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

I used to narrate this story during my lectures and inculde it in my lecture notes during my Navy and Teaching Days for many years since the 1980s – and have I posted it online in my blogs a number of times including at urls: http://creative.sulekha.com/space-management-a-mulla-nasrudin-story_81860_blog and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/12/space-management.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/06/is-your-home-big-or-small-how-to-manage.html and https://karvediat.blogspot.com/2018/05/is-your-house-small-or-big.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2019/07/08/space-management-how-to-make-a-small-house-feel-big/ etc

Spit and Polish – the “shoe-shining story”

PROLOGUE

During my days in uniform – I observed that some “Delhi-Centric” Senior Officers had switched-off from “Soldiering” – they were behaving like “Babus in Uniform” and had no clue about the ground reality in the field/at sea.

Many such officers were in “Civilian” mode since they felt that they had earned their well-deserved Rest and Recuperation aka R&R

(a 9-to-5 five-day-week peace appointment)

after many years of hardship in the field/at sea and they looked forward to a peaceful tenure and retirement ahead.

Whenever I see such officers, I am reminded of story I had posted on my blog around 5 years ago in 2015.

Here is the story…

_________

SPIT AND POLISH

An Apocryphal Story

Re-told by VIKRAM KARVE

_________

Sometime ago – I decided to clean my bookcase – and while delving through my collection of books – I saw a delightful book called “The Psychology of Military Humour” by Brigadier J. Nazareth which I had acquired long back.

While browsing through this book – I came across an anecdote about the celebrated Russian Second World War General Georgy Konstantinovich Zhukov (Marshal of the Soviet Union) (01 December 1896 – 18 June 1974).

Since the book mentioned the anecdote very briefly – I did a bit of searching on the internet – in order to enable me to narrate the story in a more elaborate manner.

Whether this “shoe-shining story” is true – or a part of folklore – we do not know.

What is important is the lesson to be learnt from the story.

__________

SPIT AND POLISH

The shoe-shining story

__________

SHOE SHINING STORY

When he was handpicked to command the newly created mechanized regiment – the training principle that Zhukov introduced was:

________

If you do not know how to do it – we will teach you how to do it.

If you do not want to do it – we will make you do it.

________

Once – when he was the Regimental Commander – Zhukov decided to carry out a surprise inspection of the soldiers who were on duty.

He was accompanied by the Adjutant (a Major).

Zhukov was satisfied with the appearance and ‘turn-out’ of the soldiers – except one soldier – whose boots were poorly polished.

Zhukov asked the Adjutant what he thought of the soldier’s boots.

The Adjutant asked the soldier to explain why his boots were not polished properly.

The Soldier remained silent.

The Adjutant warned the soldier that he would be punished for improper turnout in uniform.

Zhukov interrupted the Adjutant – and – Zhukov said angrily to the Adjutant:

“I am asking you – not him.

The important thing is not that the soldier’s boots are not polished properly.

What is more important is why you did not pay attention to the matter.

There is apparently no one else in this regiment except the Commander to help him clean his boots…”

Zhukov ordered the Adjutant to bring a stool and boot polishing equipment.

A Stool and Boot Polishing Material was promptly brought.

Zhukov told the soldier to put one foot on the stool and watch attentively.

Then – Zhukov began polishing the soldier’s boot – showing the soldier exactly how to polish boots.

After a few minutes – the boot was shining.

Zhukov then gave the brush to the soldier and told the soldier to polish the other boot to the same level of shine.

When the soldier had done so – Zhukov nodded and walked away.

________

MORAL OF THE STORY

In the Military – there is no substitute for professionalism.

An officer is supposed to know how to do a task – before he orders his subordinates to do it.

That is why military training is so elaborate with a “hands on” approach.

However – this is not so in the civil services – where “generalists” rule the roost – and – these clueless “administrators” sometimes pass vague and impracticable orders to specialists.

With the advent of “high-tech” weapons and modern military technology – this attitude seems to be creeping in the Defence Services too – and – I have seen occasions – when a “generalist” senior officer tries to “bullshit” a technical specialist – and ends up embarrassed when his ignorance is exposed.

Of course: –

“Bullshit” does not work any longer.

If an officer does not know how to do a task – how can he teach or supervise his subordinates to do that task…?

In today’s world – the earlier “Carry on Chief” Style Navy Officership does not work nowadays.

An Officer must be able to demonstrate to his juniors how to do a task.

That is why an Officer cannot stop learning even if he achieves high rank – because there is no substitute for continual learning and professionalism.

_________

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

1. This article is a spoof, satire, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/01/military-officership-story.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Revised Re-Post of my article SPIT AND POLISH posted online earlier on 04 June 2015 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/06/humor-in-uniform-spit-and-polish.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/humor-in-uniform-spit-and-polish-shoe.html

Bun Maska and Chai – Story

DO YOU REMEMBER…?

OR – HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN…?

STORY By VIKRAM KARVE

___________

BUN MASKA AND CHAI

“Why have you brought me here…?” the man says.

“Do you remember this place…?” the man’s wife says.

“Of course I remember this place – we used to meet here…”

“Good. Let’s have a “Bun Maska and Chai” – for old times’ sake…”

“Here…?”

“Why not…? You used to love this café – didn’t you…?”

“That was in those days…”

“And now…? You have become rich – and you have “status” in society. So – you find this place below your dignity…?”

“Okay. We’ll have a cup of tea here…”

They sit down.

The man sips his tea with distaste – he seems uncomfortable in this unpretentious café.

His wife is enjoying her “Bun Maska and Chai” – she dips the bun in her tea before putting it in her mouth.

The wife says to her husband:

“Do you remember…? Those days – you were so poor that this was the only place where you could afford to bring me on a “date”. Do you remember those days…?”

“I remember…” the man says, “but why are you talking about the past…? Why suddenly bring up unpleasant memories…? I have forgotten about those days…”

“Exactly…” the woman says, “you seem to have forgotten everything. So – I want to remind you of those days of struggle…”

“Let’s go…” the man says to his wife, “I don’t want to talk about those days…”

“No. I want to talk about those days…” the wife says, “Do you remember why my father was opposed to my marrying you…?”

“I was poor. You were rich. You were much better off than me…”

“And…?”

“You belonged to “high society” – the “elite” – the so-called “crème de la crème” of society. And – I was “riff-raff” – that’s what your father called me – “riff-raff” – he said that I was not worthy of your high “status”…”

“Is that all…?”

“Yes. Your father felt that I didn’t have enough money to meet your needs – and – there was a huge difference in our “status” – and – of course – I was “uncultured”. So – he opposed our marriage…”

“And my mother…?”

“She was against our marriage too. Of course – your mother was more polite – she told me: “the gulf between our backgrounds was too much and could not be bridged”…”

“But I stood by you – against my father’s wishes – against my mother’s wishes. Both my parents were strongly opposed to my marrying you. But – I did not listen to my parents – and – I married you. Do you remember…? Or – have you forgotten…?”

“I have not forgotten anything. I remember. I remember everything. I am grateful to you for marrying me – okay…!!! Are you happy…? Now – let’s go…” the man says.

They walk towards their limousine.

“Girgaum…” the woman tells the driver, “take us to Girgaum…”

“What..?” her husband protests, “why are we going to Girgaum…? Let’s go home…”

“You promised me – do you remember…? You promised me that you will spend the evening with me – and – you will do as I wish…” the woman says.

“Okay – Okay…” her husband says.

At Girgaum – their limousine stops opposite Charni Road Railway Station – and they negotiate their way through the narrow lane which leads them to a decrepit old tenement building – a dilapidated old chawl which is almost crumbling.

“Do you recognize this place…? Or – have you forgotten…?” the woman asks her husband.

“Of course I remember this place…” her husband says, “my room was in this chawl…”

“After we eloped – we came straight over here – and we lived in your small room for the first few years of our marriage. Do you remember those difficult days of our life – when our relationship was severely tested…? At my father’s luxurious home – I had my own bedroom and attached bathroom – and here – there wasn’t even an attached toilet or bathroom – and I had to wait in the queue every morning for a bath in the common bathroom…” the woman says.

“I know. I know. But now – everything is fine. Let’s get out of here. This place stinks…” her husband says.

“I thought we’ll go and see our room – and visit the common toilet and bathroom – just for old times’ sake…” the woman says.

“Please stop it…” the man shouts at his wife – and – he starts walking away.

When they reach their car – the woman whispers to the driver – and they drive off.

When they reach their next destination – the man says: “Why have you brought me to the court…?”

“Do you remember what happened inside…? Or – have you forgotten…” the woman asks her husband.

“Your father had filed a case against me – for abduction – he said that I had kidnapped you…”

“And – I stood by you – I went against my father and supported you – I told them that I was an adult – I told them that I had eloped with you of my free will. I told them that I wanted to marry you. Do you remember…? Or – have you forgotten…?”

“I remember – I remember – I haven’t forgotten anything. But why are you torturing me by reminding me of those terrible days…?” the man says to his wife.

“Torture…? I though harking back to those days would evoke nostalgia in you…!” the woman says to her husband.

“Please stop. Enough is enough. I know. You sacrificed a lot for me. I will always remain grateful to you. But now – things are good – aren’t they…? We are doing so well in life – moneywise – status-wise – we are the “crème de la crème” of society now – aren’t we…?” the man says to his wife.

“Yes. We suffered difficult days for some years – those were testing times – but we endured them cheerfully because of our steadfast love for each other. And then – your fortunes changed – your business took off – and today – we are indeed the “crème de la crème” of society…” she says.

“I have had enough of “nostalgia”…” the man says, “Let’s go home…”

“No. We are going to the “Golf Club”…” his wife says.

“Golf Club…? You want to play golf now…? It’s already getting dark…” the man says to his wife.

“Let’s have dinner at the club…” the woman says.

“Okay…” her husband says.

When they arrive at the golf club – the wife says to her husband: “Come with me. I want you to meet someone…”

The woman walks towards the end of the parking lot – her husband follows her.

They see a young man standing there.

“Hello, Aunty – Good Evening, Sir…” the young man says.

“Hello…” the woman says to the young man.

Then – she turns towards her husband and says: “You know this young man – don’t you…?”

“Yes…” her husband murmurs, confused.

The woman looks at the young man and says to him: “Come home for dinner on Saturday. We’ll wait for you…”

And – before her husband can react – she pulls his arm and says to him: “Let’s go inside the clubhouse bar for a drink…”

They walk towards the clubhouse.

“What’s going on…?” the flabbergasted man asks his wife.

“Did you recognize the boy…” the woman asks her husband.

“Of course – he is a “caddie” – he carries my golf clubs…” the man says.

“He is also our daughter’s fiancé…” the woman says to her husband.

“What…? Our daughter wants to marry a bloody “caddie”…?” the man says, stunned.

“Yes…”

“Has she gone crazy…? I will never allow her to marry this good-for-nothing bugger…”

“He is not a “good-for-nothing” bugger – he is studying – and he does golf caddying in the evenings to support his studies…”

“I don’t care – I don’t want our daughter to marry this guy…”

“Why…? Because he is poor – like you were…? Because he doesn’t have so-called “status” – like you didn’t have…? Because he is “riff-raff” – like you were…?” the woman says to her husband.

“Please stop it…” her husband says angrily, “don’t try emotional blackmail…”

“Emotional Blackmail…?”

“Yes. First – you take me to all those painful places I want to forget. Then – you want me to allow our daughter to marry a bloody “caddie”…?”

“Our daughter is 20 years old…”

“So what…?”

“Our daughter loves this boy…”

“So what…? She cannot marry this guy…”

“Do you want our daughter to elope with this boy – like we did…?”

“Please. Please. Please. You talk to her and tell her to stop this nonsense. We will find an excellent match for her…” the man says to his wife.

“They are in love – like we were…” the woman says, “try to understand – think about those days when we were in love…”

“We are still in love – aren’t we…? I am still in love with you…” the man says to his wife.

“If you are in love with me – then listen to me…” the woman says, “give the young man a chance. I have called him for dinner on Saturday. Talk to him. Be nice to him. Maybe you will like him. He is good boy. Our daughter is in love with him. He loves our daughter immensely…”

The man remains silent.

The woman holds her husband’s hand tenderly and she says to him:

“Let’s not make the same mistake as my parents did.

Let’s not make things difficult for our daughter.

Do you remember the trials and tribulations we suffered…?

Do you remember those terrible days…?

Do you remember…?

Or – have you forgotten…?”

__________

VIKRAM KARVE
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Disclaimer:
All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Link to my original source post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/05/have-you-forgotten.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved