Humor in Uniform – “Satta Bazaar”

Prologue

In the Navy of the 1970’s – if you were lucky to be serving on a ship based at Mumbai (then known as Bombay) – you enjoyed quite a “laissez faire” life – far away from the “cantonment culture” – which was prevalent in other Naval Stations.

The Dockyard was located in the heart of the city.

Those days – the Western Naval Command (WNC) Headquarters was located in a civilian building in “Fort” area of Mumbai (the Central Business District of Mumbai).

Earlier – even the Naval Officers’ Mess was located off Marine Drive in a building called “Vasant Sagar” on “A” Road Churchgate – and – the Sailors’ Home was in Cooperage.

Most of the married officers lived in houses in “South Bombay” (SoBo) – in posh localities of Mumbai – like Marine Drive, Churchgate, Backbay Reclamation, Colaba, Cuffe Parade, Apollo Bunder, Malabar Hill etc.

So – once you crossed the ship’s gangway – and went ashore in Mumbai – you enjoyed the delights of “maximum city”.

This story happened in those glorious “laissez faire” days – more than 40 years ago – in the 1970’s.

Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/humor-in-uniform-punter.html

Humor in Uniform – “Satta Bazaar” 

Military Officers are often stereotyped into quintessental archetypes – some of which are portrayed in Movies.

Of course – you must be aware of the legendary Colonel Blimp

But – when you join the Armed Forces – you realize that there are all sorts of Officers with different personalities.

Among Defence Officers – there are many unique characters – each with his own idiosyncrasy.

This is especially so in the Navy – since – Naval Officers are a cut above the rest.

Here is a story of my hilarious encounter with one such unforgettable character who I met during my early Navy days….

“PUNTER” IN UNIFORM 

Hilarious Memoir from My Early Navy Days

A Fictional Spoof By Vikram Karve 

This happened more than 40 years ago – in the 1970’s.

Six of us “piddly” Sub Lieutenants from various ships sat in front of a “chubby” Commander in Western Naval Command (WNC) Headquarters at Mumbai (then called Bombay).

Those days – the WNC Headquarters was located in a civilian building in Fort area of Mumbai.

We had been “detailed” for some “bum jobs” connected with Navy Week – and – the “podgy” Commander was briefing us.

The “portly” Commander was from the erstwhile “Supply and Secretariat” (S&S) Branch (now called “Logistics” Branch).

The “roly-poly” Commander was a Senior Staff Officer in the WNC Headquarters.

Suddenly – the phone on the table rang – and – the Commander picked it up.

I saw him listening intently on the phone – he only listened – he didn’t speak a word.

I don’t know what the Commander heard on the phone – but whatever he heard on the phone – it suddenly galvanized him into action.

The Commander suddenly stood up – very abruptly.

I was surprised by the speed of his movement – despite his corpulence and huge size.

The Commander told us that something “urgent” had come up.

He told us that he would be back soon.

He ordered us that we should wait for him.

Then – the podgy Commander threw a file in front of us.

He told us to read the file till he got back.

Then – he swiftly grabbed a civilian “bush shirt” which was hanging on the hat-stand.

And – he wore the blue “bush-shirt” over his white uniform shirt.

He looked funny in a blue bush shirt, white uniform tousers and white buck-skin shoes.

The Commander picked up his briefcase – and – he “disappeared” – at the “speed of light”.

We waited patiently in his office.

More than 30 minutes passed.

Yes – we had been waiting for half an hour.

So – we went over to the office hall – and – we asked the clerical staff if they knew when the Commander would be back.

“Don’t worry. He must have gone to “Dalal Street” to meet his broker in the “Stock Exchange”. He will be back soon…” the Commander’s PA said.

(Remember – this happened in the 1970’s – when there was no internet – there was no “online trading” – and – you had to physically trade shares and stocks through your “stock broker”…)

When the Commander returned – he seemed quite cheerful.

He was in a very happy mood.

I do not know whether he was a “Bull” or a “Bear” – but from his happy mood – it appeared that he had made a lot of money that day.

After a “brief” briefing on the “official” matter – the Commander “educated” us on investing and trading in stocks and shares.

He told us how much money could be made in the stock market – rather than the conventional savings methods like Provident Fund and Fixed Deposits – which most Naval Officers believed in.

Later on – during my Naval career – I met many such “Bulls” and “Bears” in the Navy – fanatical “punters” who were more preoccupied with the Stock Market than their Naval Duties.

These “punters” in uniform tried their best to remain in Mumbai – so that they could indulge in their passion of “playing” the stock-market (“satta bazaar”)

Now – thanks to internet – with the advent of “online trading” – it has become ever so easy for these “punters” to indulge in their stock market trading – from home – and from office during working hours – even if they are posted far away from Mumbai – in remote locations.

Technology has proved a big boon for “punters” in uniform.

You can use your PC, your laptop, or even your mobile smartphone – to indulge in “satta bazaar…” 

And – you can do it round the clock – 24/7 – anytime – anywhere.

Someone told me that – nowadays – Navy Wives are heavily into “online trading” – in equity shares and other instruments – on the stock market – and – many Navy Wives are earning good money – “working” from home – on the “satta bazaar…”

VIKRAM KARVE

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Disclaimer:

1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/humor-in-uniform-punter.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Extract from My Article “Businessmen in Uniform” First Posted by me Vikram Karve on 14 December 2013 12/14/2013 12:52:00 PM  in my blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/12/businessmen-in-uniform-part-1.html  and later reposted a number of times including at urls:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/05/humor-in-uniform-fauji-businessmen.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/10/punter-in-uniform-satta-bazaar.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/06/humor-in-uniform-satta-bazaar.html and   http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/05/businessmen-in-uniform.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/08/punter-in-uniform-unforgettable.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/12/humor-in-uniform-military-businessmen.html etc