Archive for February 15th, 2020

Can Online Friendships affect Offline Relationships…?

February 15, 2020

“Your relationship with my wife is affecting our married life…” the smart young man said to me.

“What…? Relationship…? With your Wife…? Are you accusing me of having a relationship with your wife…?” I said, stunned.

“Yes…” he said, with a sad look on his face.

“Who the hell are you…? I don’t even know who your wife is…” I said to him, bewildered.

Dear Reader:

Here is what happened:

Read on…

TÊTE-À-TÊTE

Fiction Short Story By Vikram Karve

“Your relationship with my wife is affecting our married life…” the smart young man said to me.

“What…?” I said, stunned, “Who the hell are you…? I don’t even know who your wife is…”

“Sir – you know my wife…” he said.

“Who…?” I said, perplexed.

“Wait, Sir – I’ll show you…” he said.

He tapped the screen of his smartphone.

Then – he gave me his smartphone and said:

“Please see, Sir – that is my wife’s profile…”

I looked at the picture – her face seemed familiar.

“That is “Nisha” – my wife – her name is written below her picture…” the young man said.

“Yes…” I mumbled.

“And – you are her “Friend”…”

“Yes – I can see that. But – let me assure you – I have never met your wife. So – there is no question of my having an “affair” with her…”

“Sir – please – I never accused you of having an “affair” with my wife…”

“Well – you said that I have a “relationship” with your wife…”

“I meant an “intellectual” relationship – not a “physical” relationship…”

“What do you mean by “intellectual relationship” – I have no such…”

“Please, Sir…” he interrupted, “You and my wife are “Friends” on the Social Media…”

“Wait…” I said.

I gave him back his smartphone.

I took out my smartphone from my pocket.

I opened the Social Media App – I searched for “Nisha” – then – I opened Nisha’s Profile Page – and – I browsed through her timeline.

“Oh, yes – she is a reader of my Blogs…” I said to Nisha’s husband.

“Nisha is your “Friend”…” he said.

“Well – I have many online “friends” – and – most of them are women…”

“I can see that – you have a huge female following…”

“What are you implying by saying that…? Let me tell you – I never send “friend” requests to women. And even if women send me “friend” requests – I do “due diligence” before accepting…”

“I know you are a respectable person, Sir. That’s why I have come to you for help…”

“Help…? You want my help…?”

“Yes, Sir…”

“Tell me – what can I do for you…?”

“Sir – please “unfriend” my wife – block her – mute her – I want you to totally breakup your online relationship with her…”

“What are you saying…?”

“Sir – my wife Nisha is connected with you everywhere – Facebook – Twitter – Instagram – LinkedIn – Google+ – Quora – maybe on some other social networks too – and yes – she eagerly follows your Blogs too…”

“I must be following her too…”

“Sir – Please, Sir – just “unfollow” her – block her out of your online life…”

“I just don’t understand. How does it matter if your wife and I are “friends” on the social media…?”

“If it didn’t matter – I wouldn’t have come all the way here to meet you. Nisha’s online relationship with you is affecting our married life…”

“Relationship…? What “relationship”…? I told you very clearly – I don’t have any “relationship” with your wife – online or offline. Just being “friends” on the social media – and “following” each other – it doesn’t mean anything…”

“Sir – it may not mean anything to you. But – for her – it does mean a lot. Sir – she is your total “fan”. Nisha admires you immensely. Actually – I have started feeling jealous of you…

“Jealous – you are feeling jealous of me…?

“She is in love with you…”

“Love…? Are you crazy…? I must be more than double her age – maybe even more. How can a young woman fall in love with an “old fogey” senior citizen like me…? Especially when she has such a handsome young husband like you…”

“Sir – I told you, Sir – it is “intellectual love” – she is obsessed with you – she keeps showing me your blog posts, your status uploads, your pictures, your tweets, everything you write and post on the Social Media. She even wants me to become like you – the other day – she told me to start Blogging – and to get more active on the Social Media. …”

“So – why don’t you start Blogging and get active on the Social Media…?”

“Sir – I am “outdoor” type – I am not into Blogging and Social Media…”

“See. She is your wife. It is better you talk to her frankly. If you are feeling so insecure about me – why don’t you tell her to “unfriend” and “unfollow” me…?”

“I did, Sir. She won’t listen. In fact – she got angry and told me not to interfere in her online life…”

“Oh…” I said.

I thought about it.

To be frank – I really could not understand how our innocent online “friendship” could affect his married life.

But obviously – it was affecting the married life of the young man standing in front of me.

He had come all the way to meet me – just because of this.

I looked at the young man – he was truly a “handsome hulk” – who most girls would swoon over.

But – his wife didn’t seem to care for his good looks and superb physique.

Maybe – Nisha was a “sapiosexual” who valued “intellect” more than outward “appearance”.

Our tête-à-tête was interrupted by the arrival of my wife on the scene.

The handsome young man excused himself.

While leaving – he give me a sad “beseeching” look as if he were begging me.

EPILOGUE

Dear Reader:

As I write this on my laptop – I have opened Nisha’s Facebook Profile on my Smartphone.

Please tell me what I should do.

Should I “unfriend” her on Facebook – “Block” her on Twitter – and “unfollow” and “mute” her everywhere else on the Social Media…?

Should I breakup my online relationship with Nisha…?

Dear Reader – You tell me what to do – and – I will do whatever you say.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. This story is a work of fiction. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2018/01/tete-tete.html

Also posted earlier in the Blog at url: https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/01/28/can-online-relationships-cause-offline-breakup/

The Intensivist

February 15, 2020

Story By Vikram Karve 

The doorbell rang.

It was my friend – the ‘intensivist’.

Now – I am sure you know that an ‘intensivist’ is a doctor who specializes in the care of critically ill patients – usually in an Intensive Care Unit (ICU).

My intensivist doctor friend was in-charge of the ICU of the best hospital in town.

“I need a drink…” my friend, the intensivist, said.

I poured him a drink – and I asked him:

“Is everything okay…?”

“A strange thing happened today…” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Last week – around 6 days ago – two critically ill patients were admitted to the ICU – they were both put on ventilator – I will not bore you with details of their illness – but both of them had exactly the same symptoms – and – both old men were in very bad shape – on the verge of death…” he said.

“Old men…?”

“Yes – old men – both were more than 80 years old…”

“The first patient had a continuous stream of visitors – relatives – friends – well-wishers – there was always a minimum of 3 people waiting on him round the clock – sometimes even more – he seemed to be very popular and loved by so many…”

“Really…?”

“His entire family – his children – his grandchildren – he even had a great-granddaughter – they were constantly by his side in the hospital – he loved them all so much – whenever I looked at him – I could see that he had a great desire to live – in fact – when I spoke to him when he was slightly better – he asked me for a quick discharge from hospital – because he wanted to go home to his family – yes – I could see that he desperately wanted to live – and the huge number of people who visited him – all  his well-wishers – they all wanted him to get better and live a long life…”

And – what about the second patient…?”

“I was about to tell you that – the second patient had no visitors – not a single person came to visit him in hospital for all these 7 days…”

“Not even a single visitor – how is that possible – does he not have any children, relatives, friends…?”

“He is a widower – and both his children are settled abroad in America…”

“He has no relatives over here…?”

“Apparently not – most of his folks seem to be dead – and the younger relatives are all settled abroad – well – he was living in one of those high-falutin old-age-homes…”

“That’s sad…”

“Yes – he was very lonely and depressed – he once spoke to me – and – he told me that he wanted to die – he said that he did not want to live anymore…”

“What happened…? Did he die…?”

“No – he became better – he recovered well – and today – we sent him out of the ICU into the general ward – he is likely to be discharged from hospital in a few days…”

“And the second patient – the old man with lots of visitors – the man who wanted to live – what happened to him…?”

“He died this morning…”

“That’s sad – all his well-wishers must have been distressed…”

“Yes – there was a pall of gloom when we declared him dead – terrible scenes of sadness as his heartbroken family was overcome with sorrow – everyone was crying – grief-stricken, inconsolable…”

I saw tears well up in the eyes of my intensivist friend – so I said to him:

“Come on – you are a doctor – you should not get so emotional…”

My intensivist friend looked at me – and he said to me:

“It is a strange irony of life and death – isn’t it…?”

The man who wanted to LIVE – he DIED.

And – the man who wanted to DIE – he survived – he LIVED.

Yes – the man who wanted to live – he wanted to go back home to his family – he died.

So many people wanted him to live – and they are all heartbroken. 

And – the man who wanted to die – he lived.

No one cares whether he lives or dies – he will go back to the old-age home – and he will continue to live the lonely unhappy life that he does not want to live…” 

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/the-man-who-wanted-to-live-and-man-who.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

This is an updated version (repost) of my story written by me 5 years ago in 2015 and posted online earlier on 20 April 2015 in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/04/the-intensivist.htmland  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/life-and-death-intensivist.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/08/blog-fiction-intensivist-story-on-life.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/09/25/life-and-death-a-story/ and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/03/do-you-want-to-live-or-do-you-want-to.html

How to calculate“Party Share” – Navy Style

February 15, 2020

Here is the timeline of changing Navy Wardroom/Officers Mess Traditions on how to calculate party share for official parties attended by all members of the Mess or a large number of Officers.

  1. PARTY SHARE – “STRIPE BASIS”

(Seniors Subsidize Juniors)

There was a time when Senior Naval Officers were large-hearted and magnanimous.

The senior always stood a drink for the junior.

Whenever we had a party in the wardroom (officers’ mess) – the “party share” was on “stripe basis”.

You counted the total number of stripes on the shoulders of officers present – and then – you simply divided the overall damages for food and drinks by the total number of stripes – and – you calculated the stripe share.

You paid a party share depending on the stripes you wore on your sleeves or shoulder.

A Commander (who wore three stripes on his shoulder) paid three times the party share as compared to a Sub Lieutenant (who wore a single stripe).

In effect – the seniors subsidized the bill of the juniors.

  1. PARTY SHARE – “ON THE HOUSE”

(Equal Party Share for Everyone)

As traditions and attitudes began to change – and – officers started becoming money conscious – the “stripe share” concept gave way to the “on the house” concept – in which – the party share was distributed equally among all those officers who attended the party – and – all members of the “house” paid the same amount of “party share” – irrespective of how much food and drink they consumed – and– irrespective of their rank.

Of course – when things were “on the house” – those who drank less and ate frugally subsidized those who drank heavily (“topped-up to the hilt”) and gorged on food to their hearts’ content.

With the passage of time – as officers became more and more money-orientated – and – materialism became a way of life – this affected Naval Wardroom Officers Mess traditions too – and – many officers started counting their drinks – and worse – they also counted others’ drinks too…!!!

  1. PARTY SHARE – “CHIT SYSTEM”

(You Pay for what you consume)

Now we had a “chit system” and the party share was based on the principle of “Soldier’s Share” – or – “Going Dutch” – in which you signed chits – and – you paid for whatever you consumed.

In this “signing chits” scheme of things – no one subsidized anybody – and – it was each for his own – irrespective of rank and seniority.

  1. PARTY SHARE – SENIORS FREELOAD and JUNIORS FOOT THEIR BILL

(Juniors subsidize Seniors)

Soon – Wardroom Officers Mess traditions were turned upside down.

Money-consciousness gave way to stinginess and sort of “feudal” culture – owing to selective interpretation of the “RHIP” concept – which resulted in the proliferation of freeloaders in the senior ranks.

This resulted in a preposterous situation – wherein now – it was the “magnanimous” juniors who were subsidizing their stingy yet greedy freeloading seniors.

You know what RHIP stands for – don’t you…?

Well – RHIP is the acronym for RANK HAS ITS PRIVILEGES (Rank Has Its Privileges)

Unfortunately – some unscrupulous and corrupt senior officers thought that “RHIP” implied that it was their “privilege” to freeload and sponge on their juniors.

Things seem to have turned a full circle.

VIKRAM KARVE

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