Archive for January 2019

Unfinished Love Story

January 31, 2019

UNFINISHED LOVE STORY

A “CLEAN” MARRIAGE

Fiction Short Story By Vikram Karve 

Café Samovar Mumbai (circa 2004)

“I want a “clean” marriage…” she said.

“Clean Marriage…?” he asked her, confused.

“A marriage without an “intimate” relationship…” the woman said.

“You want to have a marriage without sex…?” the man asked.

“Yes. A “chaste” relationship – just companionship – no physical relationship…” the woman said.

“Just “platonic” love – no “sexual” love…?” the man said.

“Love…? Well – you can say – a pure and clean “platonic nonsexual relationship”…” the woman said.

The man was puzzled by the woman’s proposal.

Seeing the expression of uncertainty on the man’s face – the woman said to him:

“You think about it. If you think that a “clean marriage” is feasible – and – if you are agreeable for a “clean marriage” – then – please come here tomorrow evening – same time – and we can take it further. I will be waiting for you. But – if you don’t like the idea – please don’t come – I will understand…”

After saying this – the woman smiled at the man – she rose from her seat – turned around – and walked out of Samovar Café.

Next Evening – Café Samovar Mumbai

When the man entered Café Samovar next evening – he saw the woman sitting on the same table.

He smiled at her – and walked towards her.

She smiled back at him – and said to him: “I knew you would come…”

The man sat down in front of the woman.

They ordered Snacks and Tea – the Samovar Special Pakoda Platter and Pudina Chai(Tea).

The woman spoke first.

“I know there are many questions in your mind. Please speak freely and ask whatever you want. After all – we are thinking of getting married – so – there should be no doubts or confusion at all…” she said.

“You want a completely sexless and sex-free marriage…?” the man asked the woman.

“Yes…” she said.

“If you are not interested in sex – why get married at all…?

“Is “sex” the only reason why people get married…?”

“No. But it is one of the reasons…”

“But – I don’t want “sex” in my marriage…”

“But why…?”

“I am afraid of having sex…”

“Oh. So – you are not “asexual” – you have “genophobia”…”

“Genophobia…?”

“Yes – genophobia – fear of sex – you are afraid of sexual intimacy…”

“Yes…”

“May I ask why..?” the man says.

Seeing the expression of discomfort on the woman’s face – the man feels contrite – and he says to the woman: “I am very sorry…”

“No. No. I will tell you. After all – you are the first man who has shown interest in marrying me despite my precondition for a “clean marriage”…” the woman says.

“Your fear of sexual intimacy – is it due to some traumatic incident…?” the man asks the woman.

“Yes. I was badly sexually abused. My uncle tried to brutally rape me. I was only 12 years old. It was unimaginable agony…”

“I’m so sorry…”

“And – after that traumatic incident – I haven’t had any form of sexual contact with anyone – I feel terrified by the very thought of sex – I feel afraid if any man comes near me – or touches me….”

“It’s okay – it’s okay – let’s talk something else…” the man says, trying to comfort the woman.

(Unfinished Story – To be continued…)  

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This blog post is a fictional spoof, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved) 

Link to my original blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2019/01/unfinished-story-clean-marriage.html

Are You Ready for Failure…?

January 31, 2019

Sharing a story received on a Veterans Forum (author unknown)

STORY OF A BRILLIANT BOY

There was a very brilliant boy.

He always scored 100% in Science.

He got selected for IIT Madras and scored excellent in IIT.

He went to the University of California for MBA.

Got a high paying job in America and settled there.

He married a Beautiful Tamil Girl.

He bought a 5 room big house and luxury cars.

He had everything that makes him successful.

But – a few years ago – he committed suicide after shooting his wife and children.

So – WHAT WENT WRONG…?

California Institute of Clinical Psychology Studied his case and found “what went wrong?”

The researcher met the boy’s friends and family and found that he lost his job due to America’s economic crisis and he has to sit without a job for a long time.

After even reducing his previous salary amount, he didn’t get any job.

Then his house installment broke and he and his family lost the home.

They survived a few months with low money and then he and his wife together decided to commit suicide.

He first shot his wife and children and then shot himself.

The case concluded that the man was programmed for successes – but he was not trained for handling failures.

Now – let’s come to the actual question:

What are the habits of highly successful people…?

First of all – there are many people who will tell you about success habits – but today – I am telling you that even if you have achieved everything – even then – there is a chance to lose everything.

Nobody knows when the next economic crisis will hit the world.

The best success habit according to me is getting trained for handling failures.

I also request every parent – please don’t only program your child to be successful – but teach them how to handle failures – and also teach them proper lessons about life.

Learning high-level science and maths will help them to clear competitive exams.

But – knowledge about “life” will help them to face every problem.

Teach them about how money works – instead of teaching them to work for money.

Help them in finding their passion because these degrees will not help them in the next economic crisis and we don’t know when the next crisis will hit the world.

It’s not written by me but its worth sharing.

Story for Military Aspirants, Cadets and Subalterns

January 29, 2019

RECRUITMENT ADVERTISEMENTS ARE LIKE FASHION SHOWS

(A Story for Cadets and Subalterns By Vikram Karve) 

The young under-trainee Direct Entry Sub Lieutenant who had just joined our warship appeared quite dejected.

Impressed by the sleek and glitzy Navy Recruitment Advertisements full of glamorous romanticism and jingoistic hype – he had quit a promising Corporate career – and – he had joined the Navy as an Officer.

And now – the truth had dawned on him – that there was a big difference between hype and reality.

Life in the tough prosaic tough real-world Navy was quite different from the romantic imagery portrayed in the Navy Recruitment Advertisements.

In order to put him in good humor – I told him this story called FASHION SHOW:

FASHION SHOW 

A man from the mofussil visited his friends in the city. 

His friends got him a ticket to a presigious fashion show. 

So – the man from the mofussil went to see the prestigious fashion show.

When he returned – his friends asked him how he liked the fashion show.

“They cheat you…” the man from the mofussil complained, “the fashion show is a total swindle.”

“What are you saying…? The fashion show is a swindle…? They cheat you…? How…? Tell me. How do they cheat you…?” the friends asked. 

“They show you the women – and then – they try to sell you the clothes…” the man from the mofussil said, matter-of-factly.

MORAL OF THE STORY

Do remember this story if you are thinking of “job hopping” – especially if you are thinking of quitting your Civilian Job to join the Military – like the Sub Lieutenant mentioned above – who quit a good corporate career to join the Navy.

Remember – metaphorically – Military Recruitment Advertisements are like “Fashion Shows”.

Fashion Shows attract you by showing you glamorous “Women”. 

And then – they try to sell you the clothes. 

In a similar way

Military Recruitment Advertisements show you the “glamorous side” of Military Life.

These romanticized advertisements try to entice you to join the Military – to undergo the tough life in the Armed Forces. 

The 3 Services – Army, Navy and Air Force – compete with each other in creating over-hyped glitzy and glamorous recruitment advertisements which portray military life in the respective service in a most fascinating and romanticized way.

If you get beguiled by these fascinating romanticized recruitment advertisements of the Army, Navy and Air Force – once you join the Armed Forces – in due course – you will become disillusioned when things do not turn out as you had imagined them to be – as portrayed in the advertisements.

When you see these Army, Navy and Air Force Recruitment Advertisements on TV – remember – metaphorically – Recruitment Advertisements are like “Fashion Shows”.

Like in the story I narrated – in a Fashion Show:

“They show you the beautiful women – and then – they try to sell you the clothes…” 

Similarly – Military Recruitment Advertisements will show you the “glamour” of military life to entice you to join the Defence Services.

And once you join – the harsh reality of military life will dawn on you.

Do remember this “FASHION SHOW” story – especially if you are thinking of a Military career – because the real life in the Military is tough, harsh and challenging.

Life in the Armed Forces is not all glamour and adventure – as portrayed in romanticized recruitment advertisements.

If you have the inclination and the aptitude – do join the Defence Services.

But – do so after due diligence.

Take a realistic view – and ask yourself:

Do I have it in me to join the Military…?

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved) 

Link to my original blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: https://karve.wordpress.com/2016/05/20/do-military-officers-have-a-sense-of-humor/

This is a re-post of my story FASHION SHOW posted online earlier a number of times including at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/12/life-is-like-fashion-show.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/recruitment-advertisements-are-life.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/10/fashion-show.html  and  http://creative.sulekha.com/the-fashion-show-and-the-recipe_74988_blog  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/10/11/is-sense-of-humor-an-officer-like-quality/ etc

Naval Pension Office (NAVPEN) Website

January 29, 2019

Naval Pension Office (NAVPEN) site

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https://indiannavy.nic.in/navpen/home

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NAVPEN News

Wine Women and “OLQ”

January 28, 2019

Recently – at a Navy Veterans Get-Together – I met some of my erstwhile colleagues. 

We spent time reminiscing about the “Good Old Days”. 

The topic drifted to our retirement days – and they started talking about my Humor in Uniform stories that I post on my blogs from time to time.

One of my friends remembered this hilarious romantic story and my friends asked me to post it once again for all to read.

Dear Reader:

This is a longish story told in leisurely style – so take your time reading it.

Also – please read the disclaimer below – before you start reading the story…

WINE WOMEN and “OLQ”

Story of a ROVING EYE (“GLAD EYE”) and a NUBILE NYMPH” 

Disclaimer:

Dear Reader – before you start reading this story – please make sure that your sense of humor is still intact – this yarn is a fictional spoof – a tall story – satire – pure fiction – just for fun and amusement – no offence is meant to anyone – so you must take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.

And, yes – this story is for mature adults only – so if you are a kid – or an overly gender sensitive type – please skip this story.

WINE WOMEN and OLQ (Officer Like Qualities)
A Fictional Spoof
Adult Fiction – A Tall Story
By
VIKRAM KARVE 

PROLOGUE

There is a saying in the Navy:

“If you want to know the true character of an officer – ask his coursemates…”

Seniors will have one view of an officer – juniors will have another view – but it is his peers who will know the officer inside-out – especially his course-mates who have seen the officer from close quarters from academy days.

So – if you want to know about me – what type of Naval Officer I was – please ask my Navy coursemates – or ask my shipmates – who are of roughly of my seniority – who were my peers in uniform.

However – in the Navy – as far your career prospects are concerned – your character does not matter much.

It is your image (spoken reputation) which matters most.

This is because – unfortunately – in the Navy – your course-mates do not write your all-important ACR (Annual Confidential Report) which is the “be-all and end-all” Performance Appraisal Report in the Defence Services.

Your ACR is written by your seniors – known as “superior officers” in the Navy.

And – as far as your “superior officers” are concerned – they will mark your ACR depending on how they perceive you.

Yes – you will be judged by your image – rather than by your performance

So – in a nutshell:

Image replaces Performance…”

This dictum is very true in the Navy.

The key to career success is “Image Management”.

Unfortunately for me – for no fault of mine – owing to series of happenings beyond my control – in the Navy – especially as far as my senior officers were concerned – I developed a rather “notorious” image.

And once you are branded with a “notorious” image – fate conspires in such a way – that it is a downhill spiral all the way.

Even “good deeds” boomerang – as this story illustrates.

Once again let me say:

Dear Reader – before you start reading this story – please make sure that your sense of humor is still intact – this yarn is a spoof – pure fiction – just for fun and amusement – no offence is meant to anyone – so you must take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh. And, yes – this story is for mature adults only – so if you are a kid – or an overly gender sensitive type – please skip this story.

I am sure you have heard of the 3 vices:

“Wine Women and Horses”

Now – here is a story about:

“Wine Women and Officers” 

Instead of “horses” we have “officers” – yes – officers in lieu of horses – as they say in the Navy.

The “wine” in the story is not really wine – it is something much stronger – liquor – booze – an alcoholic spirit called Rum.

And – maybe – instead of “officers” – it is more a story about OLQ (Officer Like Qualities).

So – it may be more appropriate to call the story:

“Wine Women and OLQ”

This happened long back – more than 25 years ago – in the 1990’s – so you must take yourself back in time – relax – and enjoy this story in a leisurely manner.

“DRAMATIS PERSONAE” (MAIN CHARACTERS)

There are a few women in the story – but there is only one “main character” – the “heroine” of the story – a beautiful “Nubile Nymph” – let us call her “N”.

The other women in the story are side characters – like “extras” in a movie.

And as far as the male protagonists are concerned – there are 4 Naval Officers in the story:

“C” – The Horny Commodore with a “Roving Eye” who has the “hots” for “N” (the “Nubile Nymph”) and he constantly gives her a “Glad Eye”

“A” – The Ambitious Husband of “N” (the “Nubile Nymph”)

“S” – A Naval Officer – The maverick neighbour of “A” and “N”

To describe “S” in a nutshell – well – let’s say that:

“S” is more interested in “Wine” – rather than “Women”

And – of course – the 4th protagonist is “ME” – “Yours Truly”.

Yes – I am the 4th male protagonist in this story – the narrator of this story – yes – I am the one who is going to tell you the story.

So – there are 5 protagonists in this story:

  1. “N” (“Nubile Nymph”)
  2. “C” (Horny Commodore with a “Roving Eye” who has the “hots” for Nubile Nymph “N”)
  3. “A” (Ambitious Husband of “N”)
  4. “S” (Maverick neighbour of “A” and “N”)
  5.  Me (Narrator of this Story)

Let’s start with “N” – the “heroine”.

As I told you – we had nicknamed her “Nubile Nymph”

But – in reality – she was neither “nubile” – nor was she a “nymph”.

In fact – she was very much married.

Also – before you start getting wrong ideas about the “nymph” part – let me tell you that in actual fact “N” was not a sex maniac – she was just a tease – she acted seductive and sexy – just to arouse the Horny” Commodore.

Yes – “Nubile Nymph” “N” was a tease – from time to time she gave the Horny Commodore the “come hither look” – which got him all excited.

From the moment she had met him – Nubile Nymph “N” had observed that the Horny Commodore “C” had a “Roving Eye”.

“N” had instantly noticed that “C” had the “hots” for her.

“N” knew that she was sexually attractive – and that most men were mesmerized by her.

If “N” had wanted – she could have had the Horny Commodore on a platter.

Yes – “C” was going crazy about “N” – desperately waiting for an opportunity to “steal her affections”.

But – “N” was not interested in romancing with the Commodore.

“N” was not at all interested in having a full-fledged affair with “C”.

She was interested in furthering her own husband’s career.

“N” knew that in the Navy – a wife’s status depends on her husband’s rank

“N” knew her husband’s limitations.

Her husband “A” was quite a mediocre type as compared to his competitors.

But – “N” had overcome all that by enticing the Horny Commodore “C” by her tantalizing charms.

“N” was an accomplished tease – and she sure knew how to keep men drooling for her.

“N” teased the Horny Commodore “C” – she titivated for him, wearing sexy outfits –  and gave him impish looks – and flirted with him – just to keep his hopes alive.

“N” had succeeded in doing this for the last one year – her efforts had ensured that her husband “A” had got the best possible performance appraisal – what they call in the Navy a “Thumping ACR” – from “C”.

Now “N” knew that she had to continue to keep the “fires burning” in the Horny Commodore’s loins – till the Horny Commodore “C” wrote her husband’s next ACR – just before the promotion board.

“N” was clear about her strategy.

Once her husband was promoted – and they moved on – there would be a new boss who she would have to work on – to mesmerize – and to bring under her spell.

Meanwhile – the Horny Commodore “C” was going crazy.

He had heard wild rumours about stealing affections, wife swapping, swinging and key-chain parties – but all those fantastic orgies lay in his imagination – since in his actual life – he had never seen anything like that happening.

But now – things seemed to be looking up – and the way “N” was tempting him – his hopes had been kindled.

The Horny Commodore “C” desperately wanted to have a go at the Nubile Nymph “N” – but – he did not have the “guts” to go ahead.

Of course – in his imagination – “C” had wild fantasies about himself rollicking with “N”.

But – in actual life – “C” was unable to realize his fantasies with “N” – because he was shit-scared and terrified of his own lawfully wedded wife – who was a shrew – and a real tough cookie.

The Horny Commodore’s wife knew of her husband’s proclivity for beautiful young women – especially his officers’ wives – and that is why she kept an “eagle eye” on him.

She let her husband’s eye “rove” a bit – but she kept her husband in firm check.

The Horny Commodore’s wife let him give “Nubile Nymph” the “glad eye” – she let her husband “C” flirt with “N” – but otherwise – she kept him on a “tight leash”.

Metaphorically speaking – the Horny Commodore’s situation was akin to a drooling dog desperately yearning for a bitch in heat – but unable to go ahead and mount her – since he is held back firmly on leash by his “master”.

I told you about “C” (the Horny Commodore).

I told you about “N” (the Nubile Nymph).

Now let me tell you about “A” – the husband of Nubile Nymph “N”.

There are two types of ambitious officers in the Navy.

The first type of ambitious officers take their Naval Careers seriously from the moment they join the Navy.

The second type of ambitious Naval Officers comprise carefree bachelors – who suddenly turn ambitious the moment they get married.

“A” was of the second type – he was a carefree bachelor who had become ambitious after marriage.

His wife “N” was the driving force behind him – as far as his career was concerned.

“A” was quite happy with what “N” was doing.

“A” knew that it was thanks to his wife N’s efforts – that he had become the Commodore’s “blue-eyed boy”.

The Careerist Officer “A” knew that his ambitious wife “N” would help him reach great heights of success.

THE STORY

Now that I have told you about the characters – let me begin to tell you the story.

It was a Monday evening – my “non-drinking day” – and I was walking along the banks of the nearby lake – enjoying the resplendent spectacle of the orange sun being swallowed up by the calm blue waters.

My reverie was disturbed by “A” who suddenly came behind me – almost dashing me with his scooter.

He wanted some Training Handbook.

“Hey – I am on my evening walk. The book is in my house. I will give it to you tomorrow in office…” I said.

“I want it urgently to prepare for tomorrow – I have a lecture in the morning…” he said, “I had gone to your house – but your wife told me you would be here.”

Irritated – I went with “A” on his scooter to my house.

I asked “A” to wait outside – and I went inside – to my study – to get the book he wanted.

I was disappointed to see him sitting in the drawing room – my darling wife had invited him in.

I gave “A” the book he wanted.

Meanwhile – my wife had got him a glass of water – and she asked him whether he would like to have a cup of tea.

“A” looked at his watch – then he looked at me – and he said to me:

“Tea…? It’s already past sunset – let’s have a drink.”

“It is my “non-drinking” day…” I said rudely.

“So what…? You can surely offer your guest a drink…” my wife said – giving me a rude look of disbelief at my atrocious social graces and bad manners.

I made him a rather stiff drink of Rum.

“How about you…?” he asked.

So – just for appearances – I poured myself a very mild drink of Rum and Water (Rum-Pani)

Though I enjoyed my drinks – especially “Rum-Pani” – the fact was that I was not in the mood for drinking on that day – especially in the company of “A”.

I noticed that “A” was drinking quite fast – he had already finished his first drink – so I poured him one more.

“A” gulped down his second drink too – he drank very fast – down the hatch.

I poured him one more drink of Rum.

I was amazed at the speed at which “A” was drinking.

“A” was drinking as if it was his last day on earth.

Meanwhile – as was his habit – “A” was bumming my cigarettes too – lighting up cigarette after cigarette.

“I am enjoying myself…” said “A” – slurring, drinking and puffing away.

Looking quite drunk – “A” said to me:

“My wife does not let me smoke – she does not let me drink – she keeps nagging me – so now – I am really enjoying myself…”

Suddenly – the cigarette dropped from his lips – and sweat broke out on his forehead.

I knew the signs.

“A” was heavily drunk.

In fact – he was terribly drunk.

I wondered what to do.

But – before I could do anything – suddenly – “A” got up swiftly – he staggered out of the house – and he started his scooter – and he drove off.

I noticed that “A” was driving his scooter in a meandering fashion – like a sinusoidal wave.

“Go fast…” my wife said, “and see that “A” reaches home safely.”

I took my scooter – started it – and started driving towards his house.

There was no trace of “A” or his scooter.

Suddenly – I heard a voice calling out to me.

It was “S” – who was the next door neighbour of “A”.

“S” was walking on the road – on his way to the officers mess bar – for his daily evening drinking session – when he saw “A” miss a turning on the road and driving his scooter straight into a ditch.

Yes – a totally drunk “A” had fallen into a ditch along with his scooter. 

Now – as far as drinking alcohol was concerned – “S” enjoyed a much “better” reputation than me.

If I was a “drinker”  – then –  “S” was a “drunkard”.

But right now – “S” was dead sober.

I stopped my scooter.

We went down into the ditch – and we saw that “A” had passed out unconscious – he was dead drunk.

Luckily – “A” was not injured.

We – “S” and Me – we both hauled up “A” – and we dragged him up the slope.

“His scooter is still down there…” I said.

“S” said to me:

“Sir – let the scooter be there – I will send someone to retrieve it in the morning.”

“Shall we take him to the MI Room…? It think it is best we call the doctor to the MI Room too…” I asked.

“S” looked at “A” – and then – “S” said to me:

“Sir – “A” is not hurt much – he just has a few bruises – let’s take him home. Anyway – the Doctor stays in our block – so – if required – I will call him.”

So – we mounted the drunken “A” on my scooter – with Me sitting in front – driving the scooter – “A” in between – and “S” sitting behind and holding the limp and lifeless “A” tightly in his grip.

It was a most difficult scooter drive – as the dead drunk “A” swung from side to side with “S” desperately clinging on.

Finally – we reached our destination.

It was not even 8 o’clock at night – and there was quite a big crowd outside the block.

A birthday party was just over – and lots of children – and their parents – officers and their wives – they were all standing there – chit chatting – before they went home.

We – “S” and M– we both lifted the dead drunk “A” on our shoulders – “S” taking the left arm of “A” – and the right arm of the inebriated “A” over my shoulders.

Dear Reader – please try to picture the scene.

Officers, their Wives, Children and Servants – all of them watching us carrying a totally intoxicated dead drunk “A” towards his house.

Suddenly – Nubile Nymph “N” came out on her first floor balcony.

Obviously – “N” was shocked to see her husband “A” in this pitiable drunken state – being carried by “S” and Me

It must have been embarrassing for “N” to see her drunk husband “A” being carried by “S” and Me – both of us were the two known acknowledged “drunkards” of the place.

Some officers came to help us – and we carried the totally intoxicated “A” up the stairs – and we deposited him on his bed.

GETTING THE BOTTLE

Next morning – the Horny Commodore “C” called me to his office.

“C” was furious.

“I know “S” is a bloody drunkard – but I did not expect you to do this…” he shouted.

“Sir – please listen…” I pleaded.

“C” interrupted me – and he started shouting at me:

“Why did you force drinks on “A” and get him drunk…?

Do you know how upset his wife “N” is…?

She was so distressed that she rang me up at night – and I had to rush to her place.

You buggers had got “A” so badly drunk that he was puking and vomiting all over the place – and I had to call the doctor.

I am very disappointed with you.

And – as far as “S” is concerned – I am going to take disciplinary action against him…”

Horny Commodore “C” went on and on – and he kept shouting at me.

I pleaded to the Horny Commodore “C”:

“Sir – please listen to me. 

“S” wasn’t even there.

It was “A” who came to my house.

It was “A” who asked me for a drink .

And then – he got drunk.

In fact – yesterday was Monday – my “non-drinking day” – you can ask my wife.

And – when “A” fell off the scooter – it was “S” who helped him out.

Sir – it is “A” who is the real culprit – not “S” or Me…” 

I kept pleading with him – but the Horny Commodore “C” was in no mood to listen to me – and he shouted at me:

“Don’t give me bullshit.

I know buggers like you.

And – I know your bloody dirty game – you get a husband drunk and…”

“Sir – please don’t insinuate …” I interrupted angrily.

Seeing my angry tone – “C” held his tongue.

I looked at “C”  and I said to him:

“And Sir – by the way – your “blue-eyed” Boy “A” – he is not a “Baby” – who can be forced to drink – by thrusting a nipple into his mouth…”

Then – I angrily left his office without saluting him.

That evening – I sat with “S” in the Officers Mess Bar.

As we enjoyed our drinks – we laughed at the whole episode.

It was “A” who had behaved like a jackass.

And it was we two – the both us – “S” and Me – who got a “bad name”.

EPILOGUE

Out of the three of us – “A”“S” and M– who do you think was the most “successful” in his Naval Career…?

You guessed right.

“S” and Me – both of us – we “fell by the wayside” – as they say in the Navy – “passed over” and “superseded”.

And – it was “A” who reached high rank – duly propelled upwards in his career by his ambitious wife “N” – the Nubile Nymph

Ha Ha – I wonder about “Roving Eye” – the Horny Commodore (“C”) with a “Glad Eye” – maybe he is still desperately yearning for Nubile Nymph” (“N”) – even after his retirement.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved)

Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/12/humor-in-uniform-nubile-nymph-and.html

This story was written by me Vikram Karve more than 5 years ago in January 2014 and earlier posted online by me Vikram Karve on 22 March 2014 at 3/22/2014 12:02:00 AM in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/03/humor-in-uniform-wine-women-and.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/03/humor-in-uniform-wine-women-and.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/humor-in-uniform-bottle.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/09/humor-in-uniform-wine-women-and-olq.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/01/13/glad-eye-and-nubile-nymph-a-romance/ and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/humor-love-story-of-roving-eye-and-a-nubile-nymph/  etc

The 5G Debate

January 28, 2019

Most people feel the benefits of 5G will be enormous.

Some Scientists feel 5G may be harmful.

👇

https://www.5gspaceappeal.org/the-appeal

👆

The Debate Continues

Humor and Ethics – Story of an “Incorruptible” Officer

January 25, 2019

At your workplace – it can be quite stressful for you – if there is a conflict between your personal values and organisational values.

Here is a story of an honest man in a corrupt organisation…

VIRUS OF HONESTY

Someone asked me:

“How is it possible for an officer to remain honest in the all pervasive corrupt environment of today…?”

I told him the story of an incorruptible officer I came across in the Navy.

Let us call him “J”.

Dear Reader:

Let me tell you the story of this honest officer “J” – who was afflicted by the “virus of honesty”

So – I will delve into my Humor in Uniform archives – and pull out the story of “J” – for you to read – and ponder over…

SQUARE PEG IN ROUND HOLE” 

Story of the “Incorruptible” Officer

A Spoof By Vikram Karve

“SQUARE PEG” IN “ROUND HOLE” – An Apocryphal Story By Vikram Karve

“J” was an honest, sincere, upright, straightforward, patriotic, service minded officer.

He truly epitomized the motto of his “alma mater”:

“SERVICE BEFORE SELF” 

“J” also scrupulously followed his Academy Honour Code:

“I shall not Lie – I shall not Cheat – I shall not Steal – and I will not tolerate those who do so” 

In a nutshell  “J” possessed ideal OLQ (Officer Like Qualities).

One day  most unexpectedly  “J” was posted to a “lucrative” appointment.

Everyone was surprised.

There had to be some mistake somewhere.

How could a “morally upright” officer like “J” be appointed to such a “profitable” appointment…?

There were rumors that this most “sought after” appointment was auctioned.

Or  you had to have heavy pull/patronage to get this “prize” appointment.

Sometimes  they gave such “lucrative” appointments to “loyal” officers on the verge of retirement  to enable them to settle down “comfortably” after retirement.

Most people were surprised how “J” had got this “lucrative” appointment.

Even “J” was aghast on seeing his appointment letter.

“J” was a career conscious officer.

Till now – his track record had been perfect.

“J” had done all the right courses – he had even qualified the prestigious “staff college” course which was a “passport” to higher rank.

“J” had held the best of appointments – in operations – on staff – and in training.

And – suddenly – out of the blue – disaster had struck – and “J” was appointed to a peripheral organization which had quite a sleazy reputation.

Were they trying to sideline him…?

Was it the “end of the road” for his Navy career ambitions…?

Had they put him on a “slippery slope”…?

“J” told his boss to get the transfer cancelled.

“J” protested to his boss:

“There is no way I am going there. I do not want to work in a corrupt organization.”

The boss looked sympathetically at “J” – and he said to “J”:

“It’s no use. I have already spoken to everyone to have your appointment cancelled. But orders for your transfer have come from the top. They want an honest and upright officer to clean up that organization and you have been handpicked to do the job. So – you have to go. I am sure you will be able to sort out those corrupt buggers and improve matters – and set things right over there.”

After “J” left – the boss murmured to himself:

“I only hope that he sorts them out – and that they don’t sort him out instead…!!!”

“J” reported to his new assignment.

From the very first day – “J” got on the job – setting things right – and ensuring that everything was done honestly – and strictly as per the rules and regulations.

All corrupt activities were stopped.

A few honest vendors and contractors were happy that things had been streamlined – and now – they did not have to pay bribes anymore – as long as they did things properly as per procedure.

But – most vendors and contractors – who had got used to profiteering by subverting the system – they were most unhappy.

And – as an immediate expression of their displeasure – they stopped paying the customary “mamool” – and the time-honored monthly “hafta” – to the employees of the office where “J” was in-charge.

Everyone tried their best to corrupt “J” – and – entice him into their corrupt ways.

But – “J” would not budge.

When they tried to bribe him with money – “J” refused – and he said to them:

“The salary I get is enough to meet my needs – so I don’t need any extra money.”

When they tried to induce him by offering him a flat in a posh township at “concessional” rates – “J” refused – and he said to them:

“My father has left me a bungalow – so I don’t need a house.”

When they offered him prized bottles of the choicest Single Malt Whisky – “J” refused – and he said to them:

“I drink Rum – and I can get as much Rum as I want from the Navy canteen.”

They tried everything – gifts, perks, favors, booze, discounts, kickbacks – but nothing worked.

His fellow officers in the organization were worried that “J” was setting a dangerous precedent.

They feared that if they did not act fast – the “virus of honesty” that “J” was afflicted by – this “virus of honesty may become contagious and spread all over – and “contaminate” the entire organization.

So – the other officers counselled “J” – and they advised him not to “rock the boat” – and that he should let things go on – as they were going on for so many years.

But nothing worked – and “J” remained steadfast in his honesty.

It was decided to call a meeting to discuss this grave issue of “J”.

Vendors, Contractors, all the staff of J’s office – even a rep from the organization’s headquarters – all were present.

“corruption consultant” (who was an expert on bribery and corruption) was specially invited to the meeting to brainstorm on how to cure “J” from the “virus of honesty.

“We are all in bad shape ever since “J” has arrived. All commissions, mamoolhafta, cuts – all our earnings have stopped. I am finding it impossible to pay my EMIs of the flat I have booked. Had I known that an incorruptible officer like “J” was coming – I would never have booked that expensive flat. Even day-to-day living has become difficult…” the No. 2 Man in J’s office complained.

“I have never seen a terrible bugger like “J” – he just won’t eat money himself – and if that is not bad enough – “J” does not let us eat money…” someone said, “He seems incorruptible.”

“No one is incorruptible – everyone has a price…” the “corruption consultant” said.

“But we tried everything possible – money, gifts, booze, concessional flat, plot of land – he does not want anything…” the No. 2 Man said.

“He must have some weakness that can be exploited…” the “corruption consultant” said.

“I don’t know whether I should say this…” said a young lady steno – a stenographer – who was J’s secretary.

“Say whatever you have to say. We need to brainstorm…” the “corruption consultant” said.

“I have seen him giving me the “glad eye” when he thought I wasn’t looking…” she said.

“See – I told you – the bugger has got to have some weakness…” the “corruption consultant” was exultant – and he said to the lady steno who was J’s secretary:

“So your boss “J” has got a roving eye for beautiful women…?”

“I think so – I have noticed the way he looks at me with yearning in his eyes…” the steno said shyly.

An entrepreneur – who was the main vendor – looked at the steno – and he said to the Steno: “Why don’t you…?”

“Me…? Are you crazy…? I am a married woman. How can you even say such things…?” the steno shouted angrily.

“Don’t worry. I have handled many such cases. I will make all the arrangements…” the “corruption consultant” said, “But we will need some funds…”

“Not to worry. We will finance everything…” the contractors and vendors said in unison.

“Now we have to find an opportune time…” the “corruption consultant”said.

The No. 2 Man looked at the consultant and said:

“I think he will be living alone from Monday onwards. His wife is going away to her mother’s place along with the children for the summer vacation.”

“Then what are we waiting for…? This is the opportune moment. See – everything is falling into place. You go ahead and talk to him – and I will arrange everything accordingly,” the “corruption consultant” said.

Seeing the confused look on the No. 2 Man’s face – the “corruption consultant” said:

“You don’t worry – I will tell you exactly what you should do…”

On Monday morning – the No. 2 Man entered J’s office – and after some official discussion – the No. 2 Man looked at “J” – and the No. 2 Man slyly said to “J”:

“Sir – your Madam has gone away to her mother’s place – so you must be feeling lonely. If you want – I can arrange some company for you…”

“You need not worry…” “J” said, “I have the company of my books. I plan to catch up on my reading.”

“Sir – not that type of company – I meant something to fulfill your desires…” the No. 2 Man said.

“To fulfill my desires – what do you mean…?” asked “J”, looking puzzled.

“Sir – we can arrange for you have a good time – the best girls – Sir – from top-class “escort services” – whatever you want – models, film stars, college girls, housewives, matured girls, working girls, virgins, aunties – “high society” girls – as per your choice – Sir – from best escort agencies – very discreet – Sir – as per your choice and taste – Sir – you name it – and we will arrange whatever you want…” the No. 2 Man said.

“J” could not believe what he was hearing.

He was dumbstruck.

“J” looked in stunned silence at his No. 2 Man.

The No. 2 Man broke the silence.

The No. 2 Man said to “J”:

“Sir – if you prefer male company – we can arrange cute boys, macho men….”

On hearing this – “J” lost his temper.

“J” shouted at his No. 2 Man:

“You get out of here immediately – or I will take disciplinary action against you…”

“J” looked so angry – so furious – that the No. 2 Man thought that “J” was going to have a heart attack or a paralytic stroke.

On seeing J’s anger – the terrified No. 2 Man ran away from J’s office.

EPILOGUE

They repeatedly tried – again and again – to corrupt “J”.

But – they did not succeed in corrupting “J”.

They could not “cure” “J” from the “virus” of honesty.

“J” remained scrupulously honest for his entire tenure.

Yes – “J” proved that he was truly incorruptible.

After completing his tenure of 2 years without blemish – “J” moved on to his “criteria appointment” – in which he performed well.

Then – a sad thing happened.

“J” was “passed over” for promotion.

Yes – “J” was superseded for promotion.

“J” was so devastated by his supersession – that he quit the Navy immediately.

I am happy to report that “J” did extremely well in his second innings in the “civvy street” – and he is enjoying great success in the corporate sector – where his ethics and moral values are valued.

Yes –  Dear Reader – it’s ironic.

J’s “Military Ethics” are valued more in the Civilian Corporate World – than in the Military itself…!!!

Quite a paradox – isn’t it…?

“J” still feels bad about quitting the Navy – a service he loved so much.

But – the fact of the matter is that:

J’s departure was a great loss to the Navy.

In fact – when “J” quit the Navy – it was the Navy that lost more than “J” himself.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my source blog post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/humor-in-uniform-virus-of-honesty.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a Re-Post of my Humor in Uniform Story “A Square Peg in a Round Hole” – Earlier Posted by me Vikram Karve in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at 3/07/2014 04:03:00 PM at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/03/humor-in-uniform-square-peg-in-round.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/04/honesty-in-uniform-incorruptible-officer.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/10/humor-in-uniform-square-peg-in-round.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/03/14/ethical-dilemma-of-an-honest-man-in-a-corrupt-organisation/ and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/06/a-square-peg-in-round-hole.html

Is 5G “Mobile” Communications Safe for Health…?

January 25, 2019

Is 5G safe for health…?

Please click link below to read various views:

https://mdsafetech.org/problems/5g/

via 5G “Mobile” Communications

5G – Pros and Cons

 

Spouse Swapping Made Simple

January 22, 2019

SERENDIPITY

Short Fiction Story – A Sci Fi Romance By Vikram Karve

From my Creative Writing Archives: 

Science Fiction – Sci Fi – an experimental story. I wrote this story long ago – around 25 years ago – in the mid 1990s. 

This story also features in my short fiction anthology  COCKTAIL

Do let me know whether you like the story.

SERENDIPITY – A Sci Fi Romance By Vikram Karve 

Mussoorie (circa 1995)

Failures avoid school reunions.

It is painful – and shameful – for a “loser” to be in midst of “winners”

But this time – I decided to go.

Sucheta would be there.

She had rung up from New York.

And of course – her husband Anand was also coming with her.

Maybe – Anand was the real reason I wanted to go.

It was 15 years since we passed out from school – and the reunion was a grand affair – in the best hotel – at this picturesque “queen of hill stations” – on the slopes of the awesome mighty Himalayas – where our school was located.

As I said the reunion was followed a lavish dinner and dance party for ours was an elite and famous boarding school, valued more for its snob appeal rather than for its academic excellence.

“Bookworm” was an exception.

He had topped the board exams and had become a distinguished scientist – always inventing something mysterious and experimenting something esoteric.

“Hi, Bookworm…” I said. I was genuinely happy to see him.

“Moushumi…” he said angrily to me, “my name is not “Bookworm”. My name is Doctor Kedarnath Joshi.  So don’t call me Bookworm. I don’t like it. I am a full-fledged Professor.”

“Okay, I’ll call you Professor Bookworm…” I teased him.

“That’s better…” he said, with smug look on his face.

“So, Professor Bookworm – what are you inventing nowadays…?” I asked him.

“I am researching in the frontiers of Psycho-cybernetics…” he said.

“Pyscho-what…? Stop the mumbo jumbo, Bookworm. Tell me in simple language. Who are you – and what do you do?”

“Okay. I am a neurologist. A psychiatrist.  A psychologist. And – I also hold a doctorate in Electrical Engineering. Currently I am researching in mind-transference…” Bookworm said proudly.

“Mind-transference…?” I asked confused.

“You have seen star-trek haven’t you…?”

“Yes.”

“There they transfer persons in space. H G Wells’ time-machine transferred entire persons in time…” he said.

“Time Machine – you’re making a “time machine”…?” I asked incredulously.

“No..No… I am working on something more complicated – Brain Transfer – I can put your mind into someone else’s body – and vice-versa – that is – someone else’s brain into your body…!!!”

“It sounds very spooky to me.  Is it ESP…?  Or some kind of occult stuff…?”

“Not at all…” Bookworm said, “Nothing supernatural, esoteric or mystical.  It’s a purely scientific technique.  I have developed a pilot system for trials. The machine is upstairs in my hotel room.  Why don’t you give it a try…?”

A strange curious wicked thought crossed my mind.

I surveyed the expanse of the majestic ballroom with my eyes.

And soon – my eyes found Anand.

His dashing physique and his magnificent beard made him look prominent in the crowd.

He looked a decisive, hot-blooded and dangerous man – but he also looked vulnerable.

He wore a lonely and rather perplexed expression – as though he were at the party – but not enjoying it.

And beside Anand – stood his wife Sucheta – radiating the natural pride of possession that any woman feels when she has the ownership and company of a man that other women desire.

I reminisced.

There were four of us who grew up together.

The same group of classmates and friends – in school and in college – Anand, Mohan, Sucheta and Moushumi (that’s me) – the “famous four” – inseparable friends.

All of us loved each other.

I had the first choice – since both Anand and Mohan were desperately in love with me – and – both Anand and Mohan had proposed to me.

I chose Mohan – leaving Anand for Sucheta.

And since that moment – I kept tormenting myself – wondering if I had made the wrong choice.

Physically – I lived with Mohan.

But – in my heart – I longed for Anand – repenting – and trying to imagine – what my life would have been like – if I had married Anand instead of Mohan.

I looked at Anand – and then at Bookworm.

Serendipity…!!!

Yes.

It was indeed Serendipity – pure luck.

I felt the adrenalin rush.

This was my golden chance to find out what life would have been like if I had married Anand.

And – I was going to seize the opportunity.

I waved out to Sucheta – and 5 minutes later – both of us were lying side by side on the double-bed – in Bookworm’s hotel room.

There was a mesh of wires – with electrode-transducers connected to our heads (like an EEG) – a laptop-like special computer – and a briefcase-size electronic device – which Bookworm described as the “Electrophoresis Signal Processor”.

“Good…” Bookworm said, “both your brainwave frequencies are in “beta” state around 15 hertz. I will give you both a high frequency burst to momentarily raise your brain-states to “K-Complex” and instantaneously commence the electrophoresis.”

Looking at me – Bookworm said:

“Moushumi – you will be Sucheta as far as the outside world is concerned. So when you wake up – you go straight to Sucheta’s husband Anand.  Let’s see if he suspects.”

And then – to Sucheta – Bookworm said:

“Sucheta – you go straight to Moushumi’s husband Mohan. He will think you are Moushumi.”

“It’s dangerous. I am scared…” Sucheta said.

“Come on, Sucheta. Be a sport. It’s just for fun…” I said.

Bookworm said in a serious tone:

“It’s not fun. We are doing this experiment to validate my research – in vivo – to see if the concept of mind-transference it works. Just for half-an-hour. After 30 minutes are over – both of you come back to me over here in this room – and I will reverse the process. And – everything will be the same as before. Then – you can leave this room as your own “original selves” – your own “same mind” in your own “same body”…”

I closed my eyes in trepidation – wondering whether I was doing the right thing.

Suddenly – I felt my brain go blank and then there were vivid flashes in a void.

When I woke up – the “Brain Transfer” was done.

My mind was put in Sucheta’s body – and Sucheta’s mind was in my body.

For the outside world I was Sucheta.

Half an hour later – I was in a state of ecstasy – in seventh heaven – I was gliding in Anand’s strong arms, enjoying the dance, in blissful trance.

Bookworm suddenly appeared by my side – he started tugging my arm and telling me with urgency in his voice:

“It’s time. Let’s go, Moushumi.”

“Moushumi…? Why are you calling her Moushumi…?” an incredulous Anand asked Bookworm.

“She is Moushumi…” Bookworm said pointing at me.

On hearing this – Anand snapped angrily at Bookworm:

“Are you drunk or stoned or something…? Can’t you see that she is my wife Sucheta – why are you alling her Moushumi…?”

Bookworm pointed at me and said to Anand:

“No, No. I did Psycho-Cybernetic “Mind-transference” – Sucheta into Moushumi – and Moushumi into Sucheta – so – though she looks like Sucheta because her body is Sucheta’s – her mind is Moushumi’s – so – she is actually Moushumi…”

“What nonsense…!!!” Anand said to Bookworm.

Bookworm said – pointing at me:

“She may look like Sucheta – but she is actually Moushumi…”

On hearing this – a flabbergasted Anand said to Bookworm:

“You have really gone crazy. I am telling you once again – this lady in front of me is Sucheta, my wife. And – Moushumi must be with her husband Mohan.  I last saw them having a drink near the bar.”

Instinctively – I turned and looked towards the bar.

I could not spot Sucheta (who was in my body).

Nor was Mohan there.

I hurriedly scanned the room.

There was no sign of them.

They had disappeared.

Bookworm was in a state of panic.

Suddenly –Bookworm started shouting incoherently at Anand:

“Anand…Anand…Try to understand…Your wife Sucheta has gone away with Mohan.  And this lady here in front of you is Moushumi – Mohan’s wife. This is only Sucheta’s body. Inside her is Moushumi’s mind. Moushumi’s mind is in Sucheta’s body. My “in vivo” experiment was successful – my psycho-cybernetics discovery is validated – the mind-transference has been achieved…!!!”

“Psychocybernetics…? Mind-transference…? Stop talking nonsense…!” Anand shouted angrily at Bookworm.

And then – taking my arm – Anand said to me:

“Come on Sucheta. Let’s go. Bookworm has gone crazy. And it’s getting late. We’ll drive straight down to Delhi. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow before we catch our flight back home to New York.”

As we walked through the parking lot – towards the luxury limousine Anand had hired for his visit – I noticed that “our” car was missing.

Yes – “our” car – my actual husband Mohan’s car – was not in the parking lot.

Maybe Mohan had taken Sucheta (thinking it was me).

It was cold – and I glanced at “our” small cottage on the hill slope for the last time.

“They” were probably cuddling up in “our” bedroom by now.

I thought I was smart – but it was Sucheta who played the double game.

For me it was only a half-hour experiment – but Sucheta had upped the ante – and turned the tables on me.

Will Mohan ever find out…?

And what about Anand…?

Will Anand continue to think that I am his wife Sucheta…?

Will this psycho-cybernetic mind-transference last forever…?

Am I beyond the point of no return…?

As I think of my future – I shiver with tremors of trepidation.

From now on life is going to be a tightrope walk.

Every moment – I will have to be on my toes.

I am excited – very excited – and a bit terrified and scared too.

From now on – life is going to be dangerous fun.

But one thing is sure.

Now – living in Sucheta’s body – I will really know what life would have been like – if I had married Anand instead of Mohan.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/08/serendipity.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved. 

Updated Version of my Story written by me – around 25 years ago – in the mid 1990s – and earlier Posted Online by me a number of times in my various blogs including at urls: http://creative.sulekha.com/double-game-fiction-short-story-by-vikram-karve_32021_blog  and  https://karve.wordpress.com/2005/12/24/  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/02/electrophoresis-virtual-wife-swapping.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/09/wife-swapping.html andhttp://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/01/wife-swapping-by-signal-processing.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/01/high-tech-wife-swapping.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/08/serendipity.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/08/01/how-to-swap-your-husband/ etc

Does Work Experience in the Defence Services prepare you for a Civilian Career…? A Story

January 22, 2019

“Are Military Veterans Fit for Civilian Jobs…?”

Maybe – I should paraphrase this question:

“Is Work Experience in the Armed Forces of any use in “Civvy Street”…?” 

Or – more specifically:

“Does Short Service Commission (SSC) in the Defence Services prepare you for a Civilian Career…?”

Maybe this apocryphal story will throw some light on this issue…

“FAUJI” LOGIC  Work Experience
A Fictional Spoof
By
VIKRAM KARVE 

NB: The generic term “Fauj” refers to the Military (Army/Navy/AirForce) and the term “Fauji” refers to all Military Personnel

“Fauji” Military Officer quit the “Fauj” after 10 years service.

He decided to try his luck in the “Civvy Street” (Civilian Corporates/Industry)

He was 30 years old.

(Most likely – he was a Short Service Commission (SSC) Officer)

The “Fauji” job seeker applied for a vacancy in the civilian industry.

He was duly called for an interview.

The employer asked him:

“How many years work experience do you have…?”

“20 years…” the “Fauji” job-seeker answered.

The employer observed that the “Fauji” veteran looked relatively young.

In fact – his age seemed to be around 30 years.

That is why – he was surprised when the young veteran claimed to have 20 years experience.

So – the curious employer asked the young “Fauji” veteran:

“Tell me – young man – how old are you…?”

“I am 30 years old…” the young “Fauji” job-seeker answered.

“When did you start working…?” the employer asked.

“I joined the Army in 2007…” the “Fauji” job-seeker answered.

“You joined the Army in 2007 – and now it is 2017 – that means you have only 10 years service.”

“Yes…” the “Fauji” job-seeker said nonchalantly.

Getting exasperated with this answer – the infuriated employer shouted:

“What nonsense is this…? 

With only 10 years service – how can you have 20 years experience…?”

The “Fauji” job-seeker answered in a cool and matter-of-fact manner:

“In the Army – we work twice the amount as compared to you civilians. 

In the civilian world – you work 8 hours a day.

But in the Army – we worked 16 hours a day – or even more – and – sometimes – on Sundays and Holidays too.

We are always on duty “24/7”  

So – in my 10 years service – I have certainly gained 20 years experience – probably even more…”

The employer had zero “sense of humour” – so he could not appreciate the “Fauji” wit.

He could not understand this “Fauji” logic.

Hence – the employer was not impressed by the answer.

And so – the “Fauji” job-seeker did not get the job.

Wondering why he did not get the job despite his brilliant answer – the “Fauji” job seeker spent the next one year reflecting in deep introspection and contemplation – trying to figure out the reason why he did not get the job.

ONE YEAR LATER

Suddenly – one day – the “Fauji” job-seeker was enlightened.

So – he immediately applied for a job at the same place again – and he was called for an interview.

The interviewer was the same employer who had interviewed the “Fauji” job-seeker one year ago.

The employer – on recognizing the “Fauji” job-seeker – asked him:

“So young man – how many years experience do you have now…?”

Without batting an eyelid – the “Fauji” job-seeker said:

“One year – I have One year experience…”

The dumbfounded employer asked the “Fauji” job-seeker:

“One year…? 

You are saying that you have only one year experience …?

Are you crazy or something…? 

Last year you said that you had 20 years experience. 

And now – you say that you have only one year experience…”

The “Fauji” job-seeker gave the employer an astute look.

Then – “Fauji” Veteran said calmly to the employer:

“Actually – in the Army – they make you do the same thing again and again. 

So – I realized that – I had learnt my job in one year. 

And – after that – I was doing the same thing for the next 10 years. 

That works out to be one year of experience – 10 times – isn’t it…?”

After his brilliant answer – the “Fauji” job-seeker got the job.

Moral of the Story

1. If your ultimate aim is to work in “Civvy Street” – is there any point gaining “experience” in the Military…?

I am baffled why some bright youngsters join the Military as Short Service Commission (SCC) Officers when they know that they have get back to the Civilian World in 5/7/10 years when their SSC tenure ends.

Why not join the corporate world/industry directly after graduation…?

2. If you are already in the Military and want a good “second innings” in “Civvy Street” – the earlier you quit – the better for your career prospects in your “second innings”. 

The story of the job-seeker aptly illustrates this fact – once you learn and gain domain experience – why waste time doing the same thing again and again…?

3. The longer you serve in the Military – the more “unfit” you become for “Civvy Street”.

If you remain in the Military for too long – you may become too “regimented” and “rigid” in your working style – and find it difficult to adapt in “Civvy Street”

Dear Reader – Do you agree…?

VIKRAM KARVE
Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:
1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
2. This story is a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:
No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved) 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/10/are-military-veterans-fit-for-civilian.html

This spoof is an improvised version of my story was written by me Vikram Karve more than 30 years ago in the 1980s and posted online by me earlier in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/11/work-experience.html  and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/01/24/does-military-short-service-commission-ssc-make-you-suitable-for-a-civilian-career/and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/12/01/is-military-work-experience-of-any-use-in-the-civilian-world/   http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/07/humor-in-uniform-fauji-logic-how-to.html

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