Archive for September 16th, 2018

Happy Soul

September 16, 2018

Sharing a post from a Veterans’ Forum

HAPPY SOUL

Following was written at a buddhist monastery in lamayuru, a small hamlet on way to Leh.

Didn’t understand it then and even now it isn’t easy at all. Take a look:-

Who is a “Happy Soul” ?

1. A Happy Soul stops trying to change others, but instead focus on changing self.
2. A Happy Soul is one who accepts people for who they are.
3. A Happy Soul is one who understands that everyone is right in one’s own perspective.
4. A Happy Soul is one who learns to “let go”.
5. A “Happy Soul is one who is able to drop expectations from every relationship and gives for the sake of giving.
6. A Happy Soul is one who understands that whatever we do, we do it for our own peace.
7. A Happy Soul is one who stops proving to the world, how intelligent one is.
8. A Happy Soul is one who does not seek approval from others.
9. A Happy Soul is one who stops comparing with others.
10. A Happy Soul is one who is at peace with oneself.
11. A Happy Soul is one who is able to differentiate between “need” and “want” and is able to let go of one’s wants.
12. A Happy Soul is one who stops attaching “happiness” to material things.

Here’s wishing all, a life of a Happy Soul…!!

How to Brew Tea

September 16, 2018

I love tea.

You too love a cup of invigorating tea – don’t you…?

But tell me – Do you know how to make a good cup of delicious tea…?

Okay – let me tell you how…

HOW TO MAKE TEA

Two Recipes by Vikram Karve

  1. Full Bodied Invigorating Tea
  2. AMRUTATULYA CHAHA (Amrut Tulya Tea)

RECIPE NO. 1 (Full Bodied Invigorating Tea)

I love tea.

You too love a cup of invigorating tea – don’t you…?

But tell me – Do you know how to make a good cup of delicious tea…?

Okay – let me tell you how.

Here is my time-tested simple way of preparing the best cup of invigorating tea.

Get some good Assam CTC Tea

CTC is an acronym for CrushTear and Curl )

CTC teas have a granular appearance.

The fact of the matter is that if you are really interested in a Stimulating, Refreshing and Invigorating cup of traditional Indian Tea – then Orthodox Leaf Teas [like the fancy Orange Pekoe (OP), the Broken Orange Pekoe (BOP) et al] just don’t fit the bill.

You need CTC tea leaves to brew your strong, bright and full-bodied cup of milky Chai which looks deliciously appetizing – a lively reddish orange colour and not the dull muddy brown colour you get when you add milk to tea made from leaf teas the orthodox “teapot” way.

TEA RECIPE

Take two cups of fresh water (one for you and one for me…!) in a stainless steel vessel.

Add four teaspoons of sugar.

Yes – sugar must be added before boiling the water.

Put on the stove – cover with a lid – and boil.

Once the water starts boiling – remove the lid – and boil for one and a half minutes – yes – exactly one and a half minutes…!

Now – briskly add two teaspoons of CTC Tea leaves.

The boiling water will suddenly erupt – and surge up – like a volcano.

So – smartly switch off the flame before it spills over – and quickly cover the vessel tightly with the lid.

Brew for five minutes – till the liquor is full-bodied – and the infusion is complete.

Have ready some freshly boiled full cream buffalo milk

Yes – fresh creamy buffalo milk is a must (in Pune – I prefer Chitale’s Full Cream Milk).

First – pour in some hot milk in the cup.

Then – through a strainer – pour in the rich tea brew into the milk – till you get beautiful reddish orange colour.

Remember:

Always pour Tea into Milk. 

You must never pour Milk into Tea.

This is the secret of the appetizingly attractive bright lively carroty red colour – as it facilitates the perfect blending of the strong rich full-bodied intense tea liquor tea brew with the creamy white milk without producing any bitterness.

Now – go ahead – relish every sip – and enjoy your cup of ambrosial divine rejuvenating tea.

And – Dear Reader: Don’t forget to tell us how you liked your delicious cup of tea.

RECIPE No. 2 – AMRUTATULYA CHAHA (Amrut Tulya Tea) 

Pune is a Tea Town.

Or should I say: “Pune was a Tea Town” – because the culinary culture of Pune has changed.

In the “good old days” – there were chiefly two types of tea for the laid-back discerning gourmet Punekar to relish:

  1. The tasty flavoursome AMRUT-TULYA CHAHA at the ubiquitous Amrutatulya Chaha Tea Shops at every nook and corner of Pune
  2. The peerless inimitable IRANI CHAIserved by the numerous Irani Restaurants across the city of Pune. Places like Café Naaz, Lucky, Good Luck, Volga, Vohuman etc were popular for their tasty Irani Chai.

Indeed – Amrutatulya Chaha and Irani Chai are an important aspect of the culinary heritage of our Pune.

IRANI CHAI

Irani Chai is the most rejuvenating beverage I have ever had.

They keep the steaming rich tea brew and hot milk in separate containers – and mix it in just the right proportion to get the terrific inimitable pinkish Gulabi Chai.

A few years ago – I got a shock of my life when I discovered a Barista coffee shop in place of my favourite Naaz at the Northern End of Main Street.

Yes – my favourite Irani Restaurants, Naaz, Lucky and many others have disappeared – and only the redoubtable Good Luck at Deccan Gymkhana remains.

AMRUTATULYA CHAHA

Amrutatulya Chaha Tea Shops too are fast vanishing.

The one nearest to where I lived on Tilak Road in Sadashiv Peth in the 1960’s next to Ashok Bakery has disappeared many years ago.

Further down Tilak Road past SP College towards Maharashtra Mandal there still exist the legendary “Ambika”and “New Ambika” Amrutatulyas.

A friend of mine used to savour his morning cuppa in Ambika – and his evening cup of tea in New Ambika.

If you look around you will still find a number of Amrut-tulyas in the heart of Pune city – though in the newly developed cosmopolitan suburbs there are Tea Tapris.

Amrut means nectar – and Tulya means comparable – so “Amrut Tulya” means “Comparable to Nectar”

And indeed – true to its name – Amrutatulya tea is comparable to nectar –  sweet, ambrosial – like the elixir of life!

I love watching Amrutatulya chaha being prepared.

They prepare tea in front of you in a brass vessel.

The speciality of this vessel is that as it starts ageing – the tea becomes tastier.

Milk and water are boiled together – with plenty of sugar, cardamom powder, crushed ginger and tea leaves – stirring continuously to make sure the concoction does not overflow.

The aroma of this tea is tempting enough to pull you inside for a hot cup of tea.

As an ardent tea lover – I am glad to share a recipe of traditional Amrutatulya chaha

RECIPE FOR AMRUTATULYA CHAHA (Amrut Tulya Tea)

Ingredients

1.Tea Leaf

(If you live in Pune – get the famous CTC+OP +BOP (CTC – Crush, Tear, Curl : OP – Orange Pekoe : BOP – Broken Orange Pekoe) “Family Mixture” Tea Powder from any of the tea depot located in the heart of Pune City. If you prefer branded tea, you may use some good Assam CTC tea. You may also use a strong leaf tea brand like Wagh Bakri Premium Leaf Tea if you prefer)

2. Full Cream Buffalo Milk

3. Fresh Water

4. Sugar

5. Fresh Crushed Ginger (Better still you can crush the juicy fresh ginger with the chimta directly into the water-milk concoction to let the ginger juices flow out and blend in smoothly)

6. Cardamom (Elaichi) – peel, crush and powder the pods

Please remember that Amrutatulya tea is not your traditional masala chai – so please do not add any tea masalas or spices like clove, cinnamon, black peppercorns or herbs like gavati chaha (lemongrass), tulsi leaves etc.

Also – remember it is not the khada chamach  or  cutting chai – so please don’t boil away to glory.

And – do remember – Amrutatulya Chaha is cooked – not brewed.

Method of “Cooking” Amrut Tulya Chaha

  • In a brass vessel (or stainless steel – if you cannot get a brass vessel) – mix one cup of water and one cup of milk.
  • Add four teaspoons of sugar.
  • Put on the stove on medium heat.
  • Squeeze in a bit of fresh crushed ginger – and then add a pinch of freshly ground cardamom powder and the freshly crushed cardamom peel.
  • Lightly and lovingly – stir the concoction – let it warm – and bring it to boil.
  • Add two teaspoons of tea powder – and keep stirring gently to ensure the boiling concoction does not spill over.
  • Keep boiling till the tea attains bright golden-orange colour.
  • The moment you see a reddish tinge – give the heavenly brew a loving last stir – twirl the vessel – and sieve the Amrut Tulya Nectar Tea – your Special Amrutatulya Chaha – directly into the cups.

You can drink Amrutatulya Chaha from your cup.

But you will enjoy Amrutatulya Tea better if you drink it from the saucer – sucking and pulling in the yummy liquid with your lips – and let it deliciously emulsify on your tongue for that heavenly elevating feeling.

Sip the delicious tea slowly and mindfully – roll it on your tongue – let it mingle in your palate – close your eyes – absorb, discern the flavour, the rich taste – relish every sip lovingly.

Amrutatulya Chaha is truly lip-smacking tasty and soul refreshing – blissful ambrosia – an experience of nectar – you can take my word for it.

Once you experience the bliss of good “Amrut Tulya” Chaha – you will know why they call this refreshingly delicious and nourishing tea “Amrut Tulya” or “Comparable to Nectar” Tea.

Now that I have told you two recipes for Tea – do try out both – and – let us know which one you like – the first – which my Better-Half likes – or – the second – Puneri Amrutatulya Nectar Tea.

Cheers…!!!

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:  http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/06/how-to-make-tea-two-recipes-full-bodied.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Extracted from My Articles Written by me Vikram Karve more than 8 years ago in the year 2010 and Posted Online Earlier on my Foodie Blogs a number of times by me Vikram Karve including at urls: https://vwkarve.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/the-art-of-tea-making-amrut-tulya-pune-style/  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/03/cup-of-tea-pune-style-amrut-tulya-chaha.html  and  http://www.thepunekar.com/tea-town-pune/2011/09/  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/03/tea-town-pune-memories-of-yesteryear.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/12/pune-trip-down-memory-lane-part-2-tea.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2010/11/how-to-make-pune-style-tea-amrut-tulya.html  and  https://vwkarve.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/how-to-make-tea/  and  http://vikramwamankarve.blogspot.in/2008/10/how-to-make-tea.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2011/03/how-to-make-delicious-cup-of-tea.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/06/pune-tea-or-coffee.html andhttps://vwkarve.wordpress.com/2008/10/06/how-to-make-tea/  and  http://creative.sulekha.com/how-to-make-a-delicious-cup-of-tea_510319_blog and http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/06/how-to-make-tea-two-recipes-full-bodied.html  and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/04/how-to-make-tea.html etc

Incompatible Marriage Guide – Part 2 – What to do if you don’t “Like” your Spouse (Husband/Wife) or your Spouse doesn’t “Like” you

September 16, 2018

Do You “Like” Your Husband/Wife…? 

Does your Husband/Wife “Like” You…?

INCOMPATIBLE MARRIAGE GUIDE – PART 2 

Continued from  Incompatible Marriage Guide Part 1  – URL:  https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/09/16/incompatible-marriage-guide-part-1-how-to-overcome-compatibility-issues-in-marriage/

WHAT TO DO IF YOU DON’T  “LIKE” YOUR SPOUSE or YOUR SPOUSE DOESN’T “LIKE” YOU 

Musings of a “Much Married” Veteran By Vikram Karve 

DOES YOUR SPOUSE LIKE YOU…?

In a “Love Marriage” – this question is irrelevant.

Yes – in a “Love Marriage” – it doesn’t make any sense to ask the question “Does your spouse like you…?” – because – it is irrelevant.

In a “Love Marriage” – the husband and wife marry because they are in “love”.

And – the very fact that they are in “love” – means that the husband and wife “like” each other.

If you “love” someone – you obviously “like” that person.

Because – “ipso facto” 

If you do not “like” a person – how can you fall in “love” with that person…?

And – conversely – how can you “love” a person you do not “like”…?

So – in a “Love Marriage” – it is obvious that the husband and wife like each other.

However – in “Arranged Marriages” – the situation is entirely different.

When I was in the Navy – I saw many marriages where the wife did not seem to “like” the husband – or vice versa.

Of course – these were all “arranged marriages”.

Why go further – even in my case – after more than 35 years of marriage – I still cannot accurately fathom whether my wife actually “likes” me or not – though – over the years – I seem to have developed a liking for her.

There can be countless reasons why your spouse may not “like” you.

Every husband and wife may have their own unique reasons why they do not like their partner.

However – recently – I heard a phrase which encompasses and encapsulates all these myriad reasons in a nutshell – “compatibility issues”.

COMPATIBILITY ISSUES

Let me tell you how I heard of this term – “compatibility issues”.

A few years ago – I attended the wedding of a “Techie” Boy – and “IT Nerd”.

Sometime ago – while strolling on Main Street – I suddenly ran into him.

The “Techie” Boy was with his wife.

He introduced me to his wife.

His wife gave me a courteous smile – and she said that she was glad to meet me.

The “Techie” Boy’s Wife behaved with me as if she did not know me – and gave the impression as if this was the first time she was seeing me.

I was surprised – since I had attended their marriage just a few years ago.

And generally – no one forgets my face – thanks to my handsome beard – and my rather “abrasive personality”.

“Don’t you remember me…?” I asked the young lady.

“No – I don’t think we have met before…” she said to me.

“Well – I attended your wedding reception…” I said.

“How is that possible…? We had a very private marriage ceremony…” she said.

I noticed a strange expression on my “Techie” friend’s face – as if he was non-verbally telling me not to ask these questions – so I did not pursue the conversation further.

Instead – to change the topic – I suggested that we have some rolls, sandwiches and cold coffee at one of my favourite places just opposite the road.

Once inside the eatery – when the “Techie” Boy’s Wife was seated – and “Techie” Boy and Me – we were standing near the self-service counter – the young “Techie” Boy told me that this lady was his Second Wife – he had divorced his first wife (whose wedding I had attended 3 years ago) – and he got remarried to this woman (his second wife) just one month ago.

“Oh – I am sorry – but – what happened – why did your first marriage breakup so quickly – you got divorced within 3 years of your wedding…?” I asked.

“Actually – we got divorced within 2 years – but the marriage had broken down much earlier – within a year of our wedding…” he said.

“What happened…? What was the reason for your divorce…?” I asked.

“Compatibility Issues…” he said.

What a simple all-encompassing expression for breakup of a marital relationship –“compatibility issues”.

Call it a coincidence – but the very next morning – I read on ‘Page 3’ of a tabloid – that a small-time celebrity had said – that her marriage broke up due to “compatibility issues”.

I laughed to myself.

If “compatibility” had been an “issue” – my wife and I would have been divorced at least a thousand times by now.

But – jokes apart – I seem to have digressed from the moot question:

Does your spouse “like” you…?

As I have said – there can be umpteen reasons why a wife does not like her husband – or vice versa – there may be even more reasons why a husband does like his wife.

WHY DOESN’T YOUR SPOUSE LIKE YOU…?

In literature – many stories, novels and plays have been written on this theme.

One notable story I remember on this theme of a wife who does not like her husband is THE WREATH by Luigi Pirandello

I read the English translation of this story in the short fiction anthology  GREAT SHORT STORIES OF THE WORLD  published by Reader’s Digest.

In this story – a young woman who is 22 years old is married to a 40 year old man.

Yes – the husband is 18 years older than the wife.

The youthful wife does not like her middle-aged husband.

And – why does she not “like” her husband – who is a kindhearted doctor…?

When the woman was an 18 year old girl – she had fallen in love with a boy.

But – sadly – the boy suddenly died due to typhus.

The same doctor had been called to treat the boy and was by the boy’s bedside when he died.

Stricken by grief – the girl almost lost her mind – and became a recluse.

She refused to get married – and declined many good matrimonial offers.

Sometime later – the doctor proposed to her – and – surprisingly – the girl accepted.

Everyone else was surprised too – since the doctor was 18 years older than the girl.

Soon – the doctor realized that his young wife did not like him.

The doctor loved his young wife – but she did not like him.

In her heart – she still yearned for her first love – the young boy – her dead lover – and she secretly placed a wreath at his grave on every anniversary of his death.

One day – the doctor accidentally discovered this.

What happened next – for that – you will have to read the story.

But – the moot question is:

Why did the young wife not “like” her husband…?

Was it because of the age difference – because her husband was much older than her…?

Was it because of her love affair with the boy – her first lover – who she was unable to forget – although he was dead…?

Or – to use my newly learnt clichéd phrase:

Was it due to “compatibility issues”…?

CONCLUSION – LIKES, DISLIKES, AND MARRIAGE

Dear Friends:

If you are “enduring” an arranged marriage – and – if you feel that your spouse does not “like” you – just put it down to “compatibility issues” 

And – once you have consoled yourself that your spouse does not like you because of “compatibility issues” – don’t bother too much about it – and just get on with your “happy” married life…

If you want to enjoy your married life – don’t delve too much…

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This is a spoof, light-hearted fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (all rights reserved) 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.com/2017/06/arranged-marriage-woes-do-you-like-your.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

I wrote this article 3 years ago in 2015 and I have posted it online a number of times earlier in my various blogs.

Link to my original post in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/08/does-your-wife-like-you.html

Incompatible Marriage Guide – Part 1 – How to Overcome “Compatibility Issues” in Marriage

September 16, 2018

INCOMPATIBLE MARRIAGE GUIDE 

In a “Love Marriage” – it is quite unlikely that there are “compatibility issues”

Yes – “Love Marriages” are “compatible marriages” 

However – in “Arranged Marriages” – the situation is entirely different.

Yes – “Arranged Marriages” are likely to be “incompatible marriages” 

Do you have “compatibility issues” in your marriage or relationships…? 

Read on…

How to Overcome “Compatibility Issues” in Marriage

Musings of a “Much Married” Husband By Vikram Karve 

INCOMPATIBLE – YET “HAPPILY” MARRIED

In a “Love Marriage” – it is quite unlikely that there are “compatibility issues”

In a love marriage – the husband and wife marry because they are in love.

And – the very fact that they are in “love” – means that the husband and wife are “compatible” with each other – “ipso facto” – because – how can you fall in “love” with a person who is not “compatible” with you…?

So – in a “Love Marriage” – it is obvious that the husband and wife are “compatible” with each other.

Yes – “Love Marriages” are “compatible marriages”

However – in “Arranged Marriages” – the situation is entirely different.

In an “Arranged Marriage” – it is highly possible that the husband and wife are “incompatible” with each other.

Yes – “Arranged Marriages” are likely to be “incompatible marriages”.

My own marriage is an example of this fact.

My Wife and I – we are totally “incompatible”.

Yet – despite this total “incompatibility” – our marriage has survived for more than 36 years.

As on date 16 Feb 2018 – we have been married for 36 years, 3 months and 18 days to be precise.

And – despite “compatibility issues” – we seem to be happily married.

(Well – at least – I can speak for myself. 

I am quite happy with my wife and our marriage.

Whether my wife is happy with me and our marriage – you better ask her…)

How can such “incompatible” couples like us remain “happily” married…?

Here is an article I wrote more than 6 years ago – in the year 2012 – when we completed 30 years of married life.

Musings of a Much Married Husband 

(This Story was written more than 6 years ago in Circa 2012…)

COMFORT LEVEL and MARRIED LIFE – LIKES and DISLIKES 

Every Saturday morning – my wife and I go the E-Square Multiplex on the University Road in Pune.

We see a movie – and then enjoy some good vegetarian food at the Food Court – and then go about our weekend business.

It is a good start to a weekend.

A few years ago – one Saturday – as is customary – we reached E-Square Multiplex at 9 AM in the morning.

I wanted to see an English Movie – a serious film which had just won an Oscar.

My wife wanted to see the latest cacophonous Bollywood “comedy” – which I was not keen on watching – since I really do not relish such raucous slapstick.

Luckily there were shows of both the movies at 9:30 AM – albeit on different screens.

So – we went our separate ways.

I went to see the Hollywood Movie on Screen 3.

And – my wife went to see the Bollywood Film on Screen 5.

My movie finished early – so I was waiting for my wife at a Food Court.

Our neighbours from our residential apartments – a young couple – spotted me sitting all alone.

So – the young couple came over and said:

“Hi, Sir…”

I invited them to join me – and I ordered coffee for all of us.

“We were sitting right behind you in the theatre…” the smart young lady said.

“Oh…? Sorry – I didn’t notice you…” I said.

“So – you have come for the movie all alone…?” the husband asked.

“No – me and my wife have come together – but my wife is watching the Hindi Movie on Screen 5. Her movie is not yet over – so I am waiting for her here…” I said

Seeing the bewildered look on their faces – I explained:

“You see – my wife does not like English Movies – especially serious films like the one we saw. And – I really don’t like these loud noisy Bollywood dramatic “comedy” films – like the Hindi movie my wife is seeing – which she prefers watching.”

“So you go your separate ways and see different movies…?” the young wife asked me, with a curious look on her face.

“Yes…” I said.

“Really…? This is the first time I have seen Husband and wife go for different movies at the same time. Normally – couples see movies together. You are a unique couple…” the young husband said, looking amused.

So – I said to the young couple:

“What we both like to do – we do together.

When our likes do not match – we do those things on our own – separately. 

Why should a husband compel and force his wife to do something that she does not like doing…?

And – why should a wife force her husband to do something he does not like…?

Tell me – why should we impose our likes and dislikes on each other…?” 

On hearing this – the young husband said to his wife:

“Shall I tell you something…?”

“Please – go ahead – what do you want to tell me…?” she said to her husband.

“Actually – I too wanted to see the Hindi Movie on Screen 5. I hate English Movies – like the one we just saw…” the husband confessed.

“If that was so – why didn’t you tell me…?” the wife retorted.

“I did not want to spoil your mood. I know you hate watching these over-dramatic Hindi “comedy” movies – and you you like to watch these boring serious English Films like the one we saw today – so I came along with you for the English Movie – though I wanted to see the Hindi Movie…” the husband said to his wife.

“Come on guys…” I said, “the most important thing in a marriage is to have a good “comfort level” with your partner. There should be no barrier, no mask, no masquerade, no pretense, no “faking emotions” – and – there should be absolutely no “trust-deficit” in the relationship…”

Suddenly – my wife came and sat down.

My wife seemed very happy – it was obvious that she had enjoyed the Bollywood Movie

My wife looked at the young couple and said to them:

“Hi – so nice to see you here…”

Then – my wife looked at me – and she said to me:

“I really enjoyed the movie – it was unadulterated fun – total nonsense – no taxing the brain. But – you wouldn’t have liked it. How was your English movie…?”

“Good – the English movie was very good…” I said, “I really liked the film…”

“That’s great…” my wife said.

Then – my wife looked at the couple and said:

“Come on – let’s eat…”

Once we had eaten some delicious food – I asked my wife:

“What next…?”

“Let’s go to the Mall in Pune Camp…” my wife said, “you browse your boring books in the bookstore – while I do some exciting shopping. When I finish shopping – I will give you a call – and we can walk down Main Street to Marzorin for some yummy snacks and cold coffee.”

“How long have you two been married…?” the young couple asked us.

“30 years…” I said.

(This story happened 6 years ago in 2012 – when we were married for 30 years)

“Why don’t you come over to our place tomorrow morning…?” the young lady asked, “we’ll have brunch together – or we can go out somewhere to eat.”

“No. No…” my wife said, “on Sunday mornings we are not free. We both give our dog a bath every Sunday morning. Do you know – that is the one thing we really enjoy most doing together – giving our dog a bath. And then – we will laze around and watch the Sunday TV Programmes together. We love doing that.”

As we said goodbye – I said to the young couple:

“Yes – after so many years of marriage – we know each other’s likes and dislikes.

So – what we both like – we do together. 

And – where there is a mismatch – we do separately…”

“LIKES” and “DISLIKES” LISTS

Before we said Goodbye – the young couple said:

“We too are going to make our “likes” and “dislikes” lists.”

“You must do that…” I said, “you must make your “likes” and “dislikes” lists – and remember:

  1. Where your “likes” match – you do those things together
  1. Where the “likes” don’t match – you do those things separately

To be continued in Part 2…

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This is based on my personal experience. It may or may not work for you. So please do due diligence before trying out this technique.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved) 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/01/how-to-survive-incompatible-marriage.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is an Updated, Abridged and Revised version of my article written 6 years ago and posted online in my blog on April 22, 2012 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/marriage-comfort-level-and-married-life.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/10/marriage-guide-how-to-overcome.html and https://karve.wordpress.com/2018/02/21/do-you-have-compatibility-issues-in-your-marriage/ and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/04/marriage-comfort-level-and-married-life.html

Engineer – Origin of the Word “Engineer”

September 16, 2018

Sharing an interesting piece from a Veterans’ Forum

Origin of the word ENGINEER

Why are “Engineers” so called?

Is it derived from “Engine”…?

What is the origin of the word ENGINEER…?

Most people think “Engineer” is derived from “Engine”.

But steam engine was made only in the *19th century*

Whereas engineering as a profession came in to existence *centuries before.*

The word *’Engineer’* has nothing to do with the word *engine*.

Engineer did not originate in engine. The word engineer *originated from ‘ingenium’* which is a Latin word meaning ingenius meaning *someone who solves problems* that elude normal persons.

From *’ingenium’* came *’ingenieur’* (which is the *French* word for engineer even now) and from it came the English word *Engineer*.

So, let us be *ingenius and solve problems* for the society and ameliorate life of all.

Happiness Hormones

September 16, 2018

Sharing an extract of an interesting article received on an Alumni Forum

Happiness Hormones

There are four hormones which determine a human’s happiness –
1. Endorphins,
2. Dopamine,
3. Serotonin, and
4. Oxytocin.
It is important we understand these hormones, as we need all four of them to stay happy.

Let’s look at the first hormone the Endorphins. When we exercise, the body releases Endorphins. This hormone helps the body cope with the pain of exercising. We then enjoy exercising because these Endorphins will make us happy. Laughter is another good way of generating Endorphins. We need to spend 30 minutes exercising every day, read or watch funny stuff to get our day’s dose of Endorphins.

The second hormone is Dopamine. In our journey of life, we accomplish many little and big tasks, it releases various levels of Dopamine. When we get appreciated for our work at the office or at home, we feel accomplished and good, that is because it releases Dopamine. This also explains why most housewives are unhappy since they rarely get acknowledged or appreciated for their work. Once, we join work, we buy a car, a house, the latest gadgets, a new house so forth. In each instance, it releases Dopamine and we become happy. Now, do we realize why we become happy when we shop?

The third hormone Serotonin is released when we act in a way that benefits others. When we transcend ourselves and give back to others or to nature or to the society, it releases Serotonin. Even, providing useful information on the internet like writing information blogs, answering peoples questions on Quora or Facebook groups will generate Serotonin. That is because we will use our precious time to help other people via our answers or articles.

The final hormone is Oxytocin, is released when we become close to other human beings. When we hug our friends or family Oxytocin is released. The “Jadoo Ki Jhappi” from Munnabhai does really work. Similarly, when we shake hands or put our arms around someone’s shoulders, various amounts of Oxytocin is released.

So, it is simple.

We have to exercise every day to get Endorphins.
We have to accomplish little goals and get Dopamine.
We need to be nice to others to get Serotonin, and
finally, we need to hug our kids, friends, and families to get Oxytocin and we will be happy.

When we are happy, we can deal with our challenges and problems better.

Now, we can understand why we need to hug a child who has a bad mood.

So to.make your child more and more happy day by day …

1.Motivate him to play on the ground – Endorphins

2. Appreciate your child for his small big achievements – Dopamine

3.inculcate sharing habit through you to your child – Serotonin

4. Hug your child – Oxytocin

Please share the valuable and essential for the current generation

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