“Eligible” Bachelor – Story from My Navy Days

Here is an unforgettable vignette from my Navy Life.

This hilarious episode happened 37 years ago – in the year 1980.

Navy Matrimonial Service – A Spoof By Vikram Karve 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/how-i-did-not-get-married.html

“ELIGIBLE” BACHELOR 

In the Army there used to be an appointment called “Colonel Commandant”.

Sometime in the 1970’s – inspired by the spirit of “Jointmanship” – the Navy decided to imitate the Army.

So – the Navy appointed “Captain Commandants” – one for each branch (Executive, Engineering, Electrical and Supply & Secretariat).

(The Supply & Secretariat (S&S) Branch was later abolished.

However – soon – the “powers-that-be” realized that abolishing the S&S Branch was a big blunder.

So – the Navy brought back the S&S Branch under a new “avatar” renamed as “Logistics” Branch)

To get back to my story – as I told you – the Navy appointed “Captain Commandants”.

One day – I was appointed as “Liaison Officer” to the newly appointed Captain Commandant of our branch who was visiting our Naval Establishment – a “Stone Frigate” – the premier Training Establishment – where I had been appointed as an Instructor – after finishing my “Sea–Time”.

The “Captain Commandant” was a recently retired Rear Admiral – he was the first “Captain Commandant” of our branch.

By sheer coincidence – both of us had studied engineering at the same institution before joining the Navy.

Of course – the “Captain Commandant” had studied engineering in the 1940’s – before joining the Navy as a Direct Entry Officer.

And – I had done my B. Tech. the 1970’s – before joining the Navy as a Sub Lieutenant under the University Entry Scheme.

The Captain Commandant asked me about myself – from where I done my engineering – on which ships I had served etc.

When he discovered that we were “fellow alumni” – he started talking freely with me.

He told me memories of his college life – and – he talked about his early days in the Navy.

The Captain Commandant had a great sense of humour.

“They did not make me a Vice Admiral. Instead – they retired me off and made me “Captain Commandant” – and now I am on a “Bharat Darshan” tour listening to sob stories…” he laughed.

“Sob Stories…?” I asked.

He looked at me – and he said to me:

“Don’t you know the job of a Captain Commandant…?”

“No Sir…” I said.

“I am supposed to solve problems of officers and sailors of my branch. I hope you don’t have any problems…?” he said.

“Sir – actually I have a problem – rather a request…” I said, hesitantly.

“Speak up – tell me your problem – feel free…” he said.

“Sir – I want to get out of this horrible desolate place. Can you please get me transferred to Bombay…?” I said.

(in 1980 – Mumbai was called Bombay).

“You want a transfer to Bombay…? Why…? This place is the alma mater of our branch. Don’t you like instructional duties…?” he asked.

“Sir – I am a bachelor – and – for a bachelor – this place is terrible…” I said.

The Captain Commandant smiled – and he said to me:

“Let me see what I can do…”

As a good Liaison Officer – I looked after the “Captain Commandant” during his busy schedule.

I was by his side for all the official events – Ceremonial Divisions – his “Pep Talk” to Officers and Sailors – “High Tea” Party with Junior Sailors – “Booze Up” session with Senior Sailors – and – the grand finale – the formal “Mess Night” at the Wardroom Officers’ Mess.

Next morning – he had a long one-to-one discussion with our Commanding Officer (CO).

I waited outside in the Staff Officer’s office.

Then – we were off to the airport.

“Regarding your request for transfer – I spoke to your CO – in fact – I also spoke to the Director at Naval Headquarters on phone…” the Captain Commandant said.

“Sir – am I being transferred to Bombay…?” I asked excitedly.

“I am afraid not. There is no chance of you being transferred out of this place. Your CO is not willing to spare you. And – the Director said that you have just come here after completing your “sea-time” – and – they intend keeping you here for at least three years more…” he said.

I was heartbroken.

“Sir – will I have to stay in this terrible desolate place for 3 years more…?” I said, totally demoralised.

Seeing the dismay on my face – the Captain Commandant said:

“You don’t worry. We will solve your problem. We will find you a good wife…”

“Sir – what are you saying…?” I exclaimed, totally bewildered.

“Well – I tried by best to move you out of here to Bombay – but – I was not able to get you transferred out of this place – so – let me do the next best thing to help you out…” he said.

“Next best thing…?” I asked, confused.

“Yes. The root cause of your problem is because you are a bachelor – you feel lonely in this desolate place. Once you are married – your problem of loneliness will be solved. Let me tell you that this is the best place for newly married couples – you will get a nice house immediately once you are married – this is the only Navy Station with 100% married accommodation…” he said.

“Sir – please don’t pull my leg…” I said.

“I am not pulling your leg. I am serious. My wife is heavily into this matrimonial match-making business – she knows lots of marriageable girls – daughters of Senior Naval Officers. She will find a “suitable bride” for you. Just send me your full details. I will pass your details to her – and – she will do the needful…” the Captain Commandant said.

I did not send him my details.

I did not want to trouble the “Captain Commandant” to find a “suitable bride” for me.

The “Captain Commandant” had more important things to do – than run a Navy Matrimonial Service.

Also – I was in no mood to get married.

And – besides – acquiring a “SODA” Wife – was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

By “SODA” – I am referring to Senior Officers Daughters’ Association (SODA) 

By the way – I managed to escape from this horrible desolate place within a few months – since I got selected for the “prestigious” M. Tech. course at IIT Delhi.

And – one year later – I married a “SODA” – albeit an Army one.

Yes – I got married to an “Army SODA”

Dear Reader: Please read the story HOW I GOT MARRIED in the next post in this blog.

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
1. If you share this post, please give due credit to the author Vikram Karve
2. Please DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. Please DO NOT Cut/Copy/Paste this post
© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/how-i-did-not-get-married.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Revised Version of my article CAPTAIN COMMANDANT posted by me online on my blog earlier on 13 Jan 2015 at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/01/humor-in-uniform-captain-commandant.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/06/humor-in-uniform-navy-matrimonial.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/04/humor-in-uniform-from-frying-pan-into.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/07/suitable-bride-for-eligible-bachelor.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/03/how-i-did-not-get-married.html

1 Comment »

  1. […] Link to previous blog post “Eligible” Bachelor in this blog: https://karve.wordpress.com/2017/07/08/eligible-bachelor-story-from-my-navy-days/ […]

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