Marriages in Uniform – Do Lady Officers Prefer to Marry their “Brother” Officers rather than Civilians…?

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/do-defence-services-encourage-marriages.html

Do the Defence Services encourage “Marriage in Uniform”…?

Conversely

Do the Defence Services discourage Marriage with Civilians…?

Read this story and decide for yourself…

STORY OF THE LADY NAVAL OFFICER WHO MARRIED A CIVILIAN (A Fictional Spoof By Vikram Karve)

“A” was a brilliant young Lady Naval Officer.

“A” had a B. Tech. degree in Electronics and Communication Engineering from a premier engineering college.

She had passed out at the top of her class in first class with distinction.

“A” and was offered excellent jobs with good career prospects in the best of IT Software and Engineering Companies during campus placement.

It was puzzling as to why she decided to join the Navy despite the fact that she was aware that she would have limited career prospects in the Navy – unlike in the civilian world where her career opportunities and scope for advancement were much brighter.

Firstly – despite being technically qualified – “A” would have to join the Education Branch (since Engineering/Technical Branches are Seagoing Branches and Women Naval Officers do not go to Sea).

Secondly – she was being offered a Short Service Commission (SSC) of 7 years (as was the norm for Women Naval Officers those days).

Being in the Education Branch – “A” would spend most of her time on instructional duties teaching Basic Science and Mathematics to Trainee Sailors.

This surely would not add value to her Technical Experience.

Once “A” left the Navy after 7 years to search for a job – she would be at a professional disadvantage as compared to her “Techie” counterparts – who were gaining valuable relevant experience and domain expertise doing Technical Jobs in the Industry.

We found “A” to be an outstanding officer – and whatever her duties – she performed them cheerfully with efficiency, diligence, sincerity and competence.

Just a few days earlier – the moment she was 25 years of age (the Navy Marriageable Age) – “A” had got married to her college sweetheart – who worked as an IT Professional in a leading software firm in Mumbai.

Luckily – after serving at different places – “A” had been posted to Mumbai 6 months earlier – and she looked forward to spending the next 3 years with her husband in Mumbai – by which time her short service tenure of 7 years in the Navy would come to an end.

“A” was a lively person – full of life and always in good cheer – maybe because of the first flush of marriage.

She was a delightful person who enlivened the atmosphere of the workplace.

One day – we were quite surprised to find “A” in a sour mood.

We asked her what was the matter.

“I am going to be transferred out of Mumbai…” she complained bitterly.

“That is not possible…” we said, “You have just spend 6 months here and the normal tenure is 3 years.”

“I know, Sir…” she said, “but they want to move me out to accommodate my course-mate who has married a Naval Officer. Her Navy husband is under transfer to Mumbai. They want to move her to Mumbai along with him so they can be together. So we have to exchange places – she comes here in my place – and I have to go out of Mumbai to her place. I told them that I too have got married recently – but they said that since my husband was a civilian working in a private company – I was not eligible for “spouse posting” benefit. They are favouring my course-mate because she married a Naval Officer – and – they are discriminating against me because I married a Civilian.”

“Are you saying that you feel that they are victimizing you just because you did not marry a Naval Officer…?” we asked her.

“Yes…” she said indignantly.

“Don’t worry,” we said, “we will do something.”

I rang up a friend in the Education Branch and told him to find out the true facts.

He rang back a few hours later saying that – indeed yes – there was an unwritten “spouse posting” policy that a “Naval Couple” was to be accommodated in the same station to the extent feasible.

“This amounts to victimization…” I said.

“Victimization…?” he said, sounding surprised.

“Yes. Favoritism and Victimization are two sides of the same coin. It is all relative. If you favour someone – then you end up victimizing someone else. While trying to favour one Lady Naval Officer for marrying a Navy Officer within the service – you cannot victimize another Lady Officer just because she did not marry a Naval Officer…” I said.

I also told him that we were going to take up this matter officially through proper channel.

“Okay – Okay – I will do something,” he said, “But – it is “A” who is responsible for her own problem. Why did she marry a civilian…? She should have married a fellow Naval Officer like most Women Navy Officers do. Then we would have adjusted her in the same place…”

I was flabbergasted by his argument.

Though not explicitly stated in black and white – it seemed that the system was encouraging Women Naval Officers to marry a fellow Male Naval Officer within the service by giving inducements like “spouse posting policy”, carry-forward of spouse married accommodation seniority, double rations, double liquor quota etc

Anyway – the story of “A” had a happy ending.

Her transfer was cancelled and she was allowed to remain in the same billet in Mumbai.

And – her course-mate Lady Naval Officer who was married to a fellow Naval Officer was “accommodated” in some other billet in Mumbai – so that she and her Navy husband could enjoy their “spouse posting” benefit.

“A” remained with us in Mumbai till the end of her tenure.

Thankfully – “A” was able to spend the first few years of her married life with her “civilian” husband – till her short service commission tenure was over – and she quit the Navy.

MARRIAGE PROSPECTS FOR LADY DEFENCE OFFICERS

Later – after my retirement – I met many young girls who had joined the Defence Services – and I realized that marriage was indeed a dilemma for a girl serving in the Army, Navy or Air Force.

If she married a fellow officer in uniform from within her own service it was fine – and it was the best thing to do.

The “fauji couple” would be looked after – and – as per the unwritten “spouse posting policy” – all efforts would be made to keep them together.

Lady Officers who marry their Male Counterparts in Uniform get various benefits given to “in-service” couples who marry within the service.

But – if a Lady Defence Officer married a Civilian – she would have to be prepared for a “Long Distance Marriage”.

And – if Lady Military Officer did not marry while in service – by the time she completed her short service tenure of 7/10 years – she would be well past what is considered to be the “marriageable age” in India – and it would be difficult for her to find a suitable groom.

Considering this predicament – it is no surprise that most girls who join the Defence Forces prefer to marry a fellow male officer within the same service.

Maybe – there is some merit in encouraging this trend by giving some tacit incentives – though there may be some concomitant disadvantages as well.

I have observed contrasting views regarding “romance at work” and “marriage within the organisation”.

Someone told me that there were old-fashioned “boxwallah” companies which prohibited marriage between two employees.

(If you wanted to marry a fellow employee working in the same company – then one of you – either the man or the woman – had to resign from the company).

On the other hand – there are some “modern” organizations which encourage marriages between employees – and even facilitate “in-house romances” by giving incentives like “dating allowance”.

And – as we saw in the story you just read – are the Armed Forces encouraging “in-house romances” and “in-service marriages” by giving various incentives like “spouse posting policy” etc…?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT 

In the Military great importance is given to camaraderie – the “Band of Brothers” concept.

That is why Fellow Military Officers were known as “Brother Officers”.

Around 25 years ago – in the 1990’s – the Armed Forces started inducting women as officers.

These women military officers were called Lady Officers.

So – Lady Officers joined this “Brotherhood” of the “Band of Brothers”

And – just like the Male Fellow Officers were called “Brother Officers” – Lady Fellow Officers were called “Sister Officers”.

Thus – there is a “Brother–Sister” camaraderie between “Brother Officers” and “Sister Officers”.

Yes – there is a “Brotherly–Sisterly” relationship between Male and Female Officers.

In this backdrop – is it proper for Male/Female Officers to violate this “Brotherly–Sisterly” bond of camaraderie and get married to each other…?

Is it morally correct to convert this “Brotherly–Sisterly” relationship into a matrimonial relationship by getting married to each other…?

Is it ethical for the Defence Services to encourage such “Marriages in Uniform”…?

So – in the context of the Defence Services – Army, Navy, Air Force – what do you think…?

  1. Is it a good idea to encourage in-house” romance and promote “military marriagesbetween “brother officers”and “sister officers” within the same service…?
  1. Should romantic fraternizationand military marriagesbetween “brother officers” and “sister officers” be discouraged in the Defence Services…?
  1. For Male Officers Stealing the Affectionsof Brother Officer’s Wife is taboo. 

With the entry of Lady Officers – stealing the affections of a Sister Officer’s Husband may also be taboo. 

By this logic – how is it considered okay for a Lady Officer to steal the affections of a Brother Officer…? 

Dear Reader: Please comment and give us your views

VIKRAM KARVE

Copyright © Vikram Karve
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© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

Disclaimer:

  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. This story and all stories in this blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Copyright © Vikram Karve (All Rights Reserved)

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2017/04/do-defence-services-encourage-marriages.html

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This article is an abridged extract of my Blog Post WOMEN IN THE NAVY written by me around 5 years ago on November 7, 2012  and posted Online by me Vikram Karve in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Blog at url: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2012/11/women-in-navy-naval-yarn-delightful.html  and also at urls: http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2013/07/romantic-fraternization-in-navy-story.html  and  http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2014/07/marriage-in-uniform.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2015/10/do-armed-forces-discourage-women.html and http://karvediat.blogspot.in/2016/05/humor-in-uniform-do-defence-services.html

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