Archive for March 8th, 2017

Dating in a Nutshell

March 8, 2017

DATING – in a Nutshell

Romantic Musings – A Spoof By VIKRAM KARVE 

Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:


A “girl” asked me out on a date.

Since – I am “out of date” on “dating” – I decided to re-check the meaning of the term “dating”.

So – I “Googled” the word “Dating” – and the top hit was the Wikipedia Page on “Dating”.

Here is the “definition” of “Dating” from the Wikipedia Page on Dating(url: accessed on 07 March 2016):

Dating is a part of the human mating process  whereby  two people meet socially for companionship  beyond the level of friendship  or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. 

Later – there is an elaboration:

One of the main purposes of dating is for two or more people to evaluate one another’s suitability as a long term companion or spouse.

From the definition of “dating” above – I surmise that the principal objective of “dating” is “to assess the suitability of the ‘Dating Partner’ for an “Intimate Relationship” or as a prospective Wife/Husband”.

So – in the light of the definition of dating – I reflected on the “moot question”:

“Should I accept the girl’s dating proposal and go out on a date with her…?”

Well – let me ruminate on the two salient aspects of the “dating” definition:


I am married.

In fact – I am “much married” for almost 35 years to the same wife.

And – I do not intend to divorce my wife and marry the “girl”.

Actually – even if I want to marry the “girl” – it may not be feasible – since my wife may not be very eager to divorce me.

So – why should I waste time and resources “assessing” the girl’s “suitability” as a “prospective wife” – when I know that marrying her is not possible.

Now – does the “girl” want to “date” me in order to assess my “suitability” as a “Prospective Husband”…?

Well – you will have to ask her that.


And – since I am married – as far as having an extra-marital “intimate relationship” is concerned – the less said the better.


As far as going on a “date” with the “girl” is concerned – for me – both objectives of “dating” don’t seem feasible to achieve.

I cannot marry the girl.

I am not inclined to have an “intimate relationship” with her.

So – with both options closed (“marriage” and “intimate relationship”) – sadly – for me – the pleasure of “dating” is ruled out.


Well – you may console me and say:

“Why don’t you take your wife out on a date…?”

Come on – don’t be crazy.

Do you want me to assess the suitability of my own wife for an “intimate relationship” (or as a “prospective wife”) after being married to her for almost 35 years…?

So – “dating” is ruled out for me – both inside marriage and outside marriage.

Yes – no “intra-marital” dating for me – and – no “extra-marital” dating for me.

In fact – in my entire life – I have never had the experience of “dating”.

I have had zero dates – “pre-marital”, “intra-marital” or “extra-marital” – zero dating life.

So – I am destined to a “dateless” life.


So – since “dating” is ruled out for me – all I can do – is to wish my one and only “Better Half” – and – all my “girlfriends” – a very Happy Women’s Day.


Copyright © Vikram Karve
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  1. This story is a fictional spoof, satire, pure fiction, just for fun and humor, no offence is meant to anyone, so take it with a pinch of salt and have a laugh.
  2. All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the stories are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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Link to my original post in my Blog Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve:

© vikram karve., all rights reserved.

This is a revised version on my story posted online earlier in my Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve Blog on March 8, 2016 at url: and

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